CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Minnie
Hysterical in the backseat, I sobbed loudly, begging for Pat to turn the car around. But the man was silent, eyes staring ahead, fingers gripping the steering wheel.
And silence was good compared with what came next. Because my father’s words were devastating.
“That fucker Thorn took advantage of you, you stupid slut. You’re such a dumb ho. Why can’t you see that?”
“I love him!” I screamed, toppling over in the backseat as the car came to a screeching halt. I wound the blanket tighter over my body even as my dad’s hands shook with rage on the wheel.
Slowly, he turned and looked at me, eyes burning like coals.
“Say that again, Minnie,” came his voice, low and raspy. “Say that to my fucking face.”
Pat truly was the devil, his mien a mask of anger, fear, and disgust rolled into one. Why were the demons coming after me now?
But still, this was my truth and I couldn’t deny it. I was in love with Grayson Thorn and even if I wanted to put things back into the box, I couldn’t. A connection had taken spark and become a full-blown fire, and that was the irrevocable truth.
So my words were ragged as I appealed to my heartless captor.
“I love him, Daddy,” was my broken whisper, feeling like the little six year old child who had once begged him to keep a puppy. “Why can’t you understand?”
But deep in my heart, I knew. Because the story of the puppy was heartbreaking, even now. The helpless animal had been buried deep in the snow but when I tripped, I fell right in front of it, almost crushing the poor thing.
“Daddy! Daddy!” was my excited cry, eyes alive.
“What is it, sweetheart?” Pat asked me gently.
I pointed at the barely breathing animal under the snow. “Daddy, there’s a puppy. We have to save him!”
My father hurried to help the small dog, but once the limp animal was out from under the ice, the poor thing was barely breathing. Pat looked at me with apologetic eyes. “He’s gone, sweetie.”
“No!” I grabbed the dog from his hands with my tiny ones. I tried my best to cuddle him close, providing warmth and heat. I think I even tried puppy CPR, something I’d seen on TV. And by some sort of miracle, the poor thing whimpered weakly then, its eyes opening slightly.
“Daddy, Daddy, he’s alive!” was my urgent cry.
“Well, I’ll be,” Pat muttered behind me and looked at the little pup. “You saved him, sweetheart. Now we have to find his Mama and bring him back to her.”
I thought for a moment.
“But if we can’t find his mom, can I keep him, Daddy?” were my eager words.
Pat shook his head right back at me. “Minnie, the dog isn’t ours.”
“But I love him!” I argued, pressing the little guy closer to my chest. “Daddy, I love him already.”
Pat looked at me with speculative eyes and sighed.
“And who’s gonna take care of him?”
“Me!” I said enthusiastically. “I’ll take good care of him. I’ll do a real good job, I promise.”
Pat ruffled my hair and sighed again.
“You’re too young to understand what love is yet, sweetheart. And we can’t take this dog, do you understand? Me and your ma have to work, and sweetie you’re only six years old. Ain’t no one home to take care of this dog.”
I shook my head stubbornly.
“I can do it Daddy. I can do it!”
But instead of trying to reason with me more, Pat snatched the dog from my arms, the brown and white mass still limp.
“Listen to me,” he said tightly this time. “We can’t keep this thing. Ain’t up to you, Minnie. It’s up to me. And I say he goes to the Humane Society. You hear? Don’t cry, there ain’t nothin’ to cry about. This is just the way things are.”
I swallowed heavily.
“Please Daddy,” was my whispered entreaty. “Please treat that doggie right.”
Because Pat was capable of great cruelty, and even then, my childish brain knew it. There was no way to fight when I was six, but now was different. Now I could stand up for myself. Maybe I couldn’t help that puppy way back when, but I wasn’t going to subject myself to my father’s nasty ways.
“You don’t know me,” I said tightly, refusing to meet his eyes in the rearview mirror. “I may be your daughter, but you don’t know me. Not really.”
Pat slammed his hand on the dashboard and stared my way, eyes furious.
“You don’t know what love is, Minnie!” he rasped, face a mottled red. “That fucker corrupted your goddamn mind!”
“Daddy, I love Thorn,” I repeated again, not caring that I sounded like a broken record. If I had to repeat those words over and over again for the rest of my life, then I would.
But Pat had turned to the dark side, the inside of his soul tortured and twisted.
“Love does not exist,” he rasped once more, eyes staring blankly at nothing.
But I wasn’t backing down. Not without a fight at least. I was no helpless puppy, not anymore at least.
“Pat, look,” I began cautiously. “I remember the way that you looked at Mom. How much you loved her,” I said, treading in dangerous waters. Any mention of Elaine sparked so much anger in the man.
But I had to try.
“Don’t you remember some of that love? How good it felt? Maybe it’s gone now, but don’t you remember, even a little bit? Because that’s where I am now.”
I held my breath. Sometimes the only way to solve a problem is to attack it head on. There’s no point in beating around the bush anymore, skimming over the hard parts. So taking a deep breath, I doubled down.
“You used to look at Elaine like she was the only person in the room, Daddy. There were times that you forgot that I even existed, you loved Elaine so much,” I said firmly, willing him to understand.
A muscle in Pat’s jaw twitched, eyes staring straight ahead. I thought he might say something and break the tension between us, but instead, the man twisted around and started the car again, the engine vrooming to life.
I closed my eyes, praying for peace. But suddenly, the vehicle swerved sharply, doing a U-turn before screeching to a stop once more.
I peered at our surroundings and realized we were in the middle of nowhere, towering pines reaching high into the sky. By now it was night, and strange sounds crackled in the night, the low hoots of owls reaching my ears.
“Daddy?” was my fearful inquiry.
Pat turned to stare at me with burning eyes, truly the devil incarnate.
“Your mother was my world until she chose to destroy it,” he whispered in a ragged voice. And then the small man got out of his seat, walking to the back to open my door.
“You. Are. A. Whore,” he enunciated the words very carefully, making sure that they pierced my soul. One wrinkled hand reached for the blanket on my shoulders, trying to grab it away.
“Hey!” I screeched, pulling it tight. “Let go!”
But Pat was a maniacal robot now. His eyes were glazed, expression frozen in a grimace. Those fists tightened on the blanket once more, ripping it away from my curvy form.
My heart sped up, the rapid pulse making my vision swim.
This wasn’t my father.
This was a monster.
“You’re getting it now, Minnie,” Pat said, his voice deep and eerily calm as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. Oh god, his other hand was fumbling at his fly, trying to undo the button and zip.
My eyes widened in fear and I tried to kick him away from me.
“No! Daddy, Daddy, no! Please no!”
This wasn’t happening.
This couldn’t be happening.
And yet, my father was trying to force me.
No, God no! What kind of horror movie was I in? A sick, twisted film where fathers did their daughters?
But it was true. Pat had entered in some kind of trance-like state, eyes bright and glassy even as his hand yanked his pants down. I retched then, dry heaving into the back seat. Oh, God, no, please. This wasn’t happening to me.
But the Lord had no mercy.
“That’s right,” Pat rasped, one hand like a manacle around my wrist even as I struggled away, feet kicking. “You’re gettin’ it good. You put out for everyone, how bout a little sumthin’ for Daddy too?”
“Pat, please!” was my scream. “Listen to what you’re saying!”
Sobbing hysterically, I tried to squirm further away from him. I tried to open the door on the other side, but the damn lock was jammed. There was no escape. I was trapped, a prisoner in this beat-up car.
“Daddy, please,” I tried again, my hands still fumbling at the door. “I’m your daughter! This isn’t right, stop, stop!”
And a flash of something crossed his face then. I wasn’t sure what it was, but Pat jerked up for a moment, eyes clearing. But that instant of lucidity passed, and he burst into loud hee-haws of laughter.
“Oh, but you’re not, Minnie. You’re not my daughter.”
I blinked. For a moment, my guard was down and I stared at the small man limply. “What?”
Pat had that smile on his face again, the scary robotic one that raised goosebumps on my arms and thighs. This wasn’t the man who raised me in that moment. It was like looking at a stranger, and not the father I’d known my whole life.
“You’re not my daughter,” Pat repeated cruelly. “Your mother was drunk once and told me everything. The one night hook-up. The ‘hot guy from out of town,’” he said disgusted, miming air quotes with his hands. “And the thing is, sweetheart, your mom is a whore. She has no idea who your father is.”
I shut my eyes, shaking my head. Was this true? How could it be true? The man who’d I’d always called Daddy wasn’t my father at all?
But from the depths surfaced a distant memory of my parents fighting tooth and nail, and it was ugly. I had chosen to forget it but slowly, the scene took shape in the forefront of my mind.
“How long were you planning to hide it?” Dad asked Mom, his tone serious and deadly. “How long were you planning on foisting her off on me?”
Elaine cringed, as if Pat had physically hit her.
“Ho-how did you know?” she stammered, cowering behind a chair.
Pat glared fiercely.
“I saw you meeting up with a man at a café near the salon. I hired an investigator to see if you were cheating on me. But you were getting money out of him. So I had him checked out. Funny thing is, he looks eerily like our daughter. I thought he might be your brother or something because you two looked alike too.” Dad spat and he was trembling with rage. “But the investigator said otherwise. He ain’t your brother. He’s your daughter’s FATHER!” Pat finished on a roar. “So I ask again. HOW LONG? HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO CARE FOR A FUCKING SLUT’S CHILD WHO’S NOT MINE?”
My eyes closed in the darkness of the hallway, not fully understanding what was happening. Meanwhile, Elaine clutched her hands together.
“Please let me explain, Pat. There’s an explanation for everything.”
My father smiled contemptuously, an evil glare in his eyes.
“Then enlighten me,” he spat.
“I wasn’t pregnant when I met you, I swear. A month before our wedding, my ex asked if we could meet again. Adam begged me for another chance and I said no. But we drank too much that night, one thing led to another and then I found I was pregnant. It was a week before our wedding,” she cried. “I wanted her to be yours so badly, I really did. And I didn’t know, not for a long time.”
“How did you find out?” Pat rasped.
Tears ran down her cheeks.
“The guilt overtook me. And the suspicion. So I had a paternity test done, and I knew she wasn’t yours.”
Pat stared at her.
“So Minnie’s your ex’s then?”
She nodded, sniffling again.
“Think so. Has to be. I think.”
Pat stared at her dumbfounded.
“Has to be? I think? What the fuck?”
But I couldn’t hear the rest, the blood pounding in my ears. Elaine was crying really hard now and my father looked like he was about to explode. So many emotions raging, and all of it awful.
Suddenly, a few sentences caught me ear.
“So you decided it would be best that you hide that fact from me and let me raise your daughter?”
“You wanted a family. Minnie’s arrival was perfect!” Elaine cried. “You love her, Pat.”
But Dad shook his head. “I loved her because I thought she was mine.”
“Pat, please, I beg of you. Don’t ruin Minnie’s life.”
And the sad part was that while they were having that argument, neither of them knew I was sitting on the stairs, listening quietly and crying. I couldn’t remember when I ran to my room and sobbed myself to sleep but when I woke up, there was nothing there. The human brain is a marvelous thing, and my youth and self-defense mechanisms sprang into play.
I blocked the memory.
It’d just been a bad dream, a hazy screaming match that all parents engage in.
And with the years, the incident grew fainter in my mind, wrapped away and stashed in the back of my brain.
But here it was now, staring me in the face.
Pat’s enraged eyes seared my frame, burning like coals on the opposite side of the car.
“Get out,” he spat. “Get out you fucking ho.”
I shook my head, pressing myself into the far corner of the car.
“But you took care of me when she left,” was my feeble plea. I was trying to reach a part of him that was buried. The part that hadn’t turned into a monster yet.
“Because I was just waiting for this day, Minnie.”
He snarled, slowly reaching into the car.
“I’ll be honest though. At first I didn’t have the heart to kick you out of the house when your mother left.” Pat fixed his eyes on me with a hard look on his face. “But then you kept doing that stupid makeup thing like your whore of a mother. You grew up and became a constant reminder of that bitch. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t think about throwing your fat ass onto the street. But I was under obligation. You were my responsibility because the law thinks you’re my daughter. My name on your birth certificate. I didn’t have a choice,” he spat bitterly.
But the man wasn’t done yet.
“Your mother ruined my life by leaving you,” he growled, glaring as I cowered in fear. “I spent so much money on you, Minnie. And now I’m here to get what I paid for.”
He reached out and I fumbled frantically at the jammed door again. By some kind of miracle, it opened and I bolted into the forest, nude and creamy, still wearing those stupid black stilettos.
Faster, faster, the voice in my brain sang. Hurry, hurry, hurry.
I dashed into the woods, uncaring of which direction. Because what waited for me at the clearing was a thousand times worse.
My father had tried to touch me.
Intimately.
This was so wrong.
My stomach churned, heaving heavily as I ran.
But then there was the root.
And with a scream, I tumbled down, smashing my face into the dirt, limbs sprawled everywhere.
Stupid heels!
Thundering footsteps sounded behind me. Oh god. Pat was here, looming over my sprawled frame.
“You’re not running away from Daddy, princess,” he cooed, that unnerving smile on his face again. Was he rabid? It crossed my mind, his face was so inhuman.
Because this man had raised me. Even if I wasn’t his biological child, still. How could he do this? Despite all his shortcomings, I never would have imagined this. Yes, my dad has his flaws, like anyone else. But not this.
But he was too far gone.
A maniacal light shone from his eyes.
I was on the hard forest floor, exposed and naked for him to take. Throwing that spindly frame down, Pat pinned my hands with his and forced my legs apart. Oh god, oh god. But it got even worse. His mouth swerved towards my nipples, lips open and ready to suck.
“Dad, no! Please, no! Daddy! No, no, no!”
The hysterical screams rang out in the forest, but there was no one. Only silence surrounded us, ominous and gloomy.
My mind clouded, ready to transport me from this place as a form of self-protection. Just like when I was a child, my inner sense of self-preservation took over to spare me this horrific scene. It would be like teleportation or astral projection. I’d be here, but not really here. Instead, I’d be floating over my own body, watching with disinterest as some other girl was raped by her own father.
But then a flash of light made me squint blearily. And with a mighty roar, someone yanked Pat off my curvy form.
Through tear filled eyes, a dark form surged forwards, beating the crap out of the man I thought was my father. It took me another moment to register what was happening.
It was Thorn.
He was punching and kicking Pat viciously, thud after heavy thud emphasizing his grunts.
“You’re a fucking asshole, Patrick! You fucking dick! You deserve to go to hell you bastard!”
And Thorn was relentless. It didn’t matter that he was twice Pat’s size. It didn’t matter that he was twenty years younger, athletic and fit whereas Pat resembled a limp noodle. He just kept on punching and kicking, my dad’s face a bloody mess, his head knocked back with each blow.
“You. Fucker!” Thorn exploded again, delivering a crashing backhand.
This time, there was no sound from Pat, not even a burbly breath. He was absolutely limp and still on the forest floor.
But Thorn didn’t care.
Heaving with exertion, he grabbed me by the shoulders, lifting me up from the leaves.
“Let’s get out of here.”
And in one fell swoop, I was in those muscular arms, pressed against a hard male chest. He strode to his car, fumbling in back before thrusting a gray jumpsuit my way.
I’ve hated those things for months now. Yet now, the drab canvas was a lifesaver. Hands trembling, I struggled into the clothing before getting into the passenger’s side.
And with that, we were off. The wooded glen grew small in the mirror, like a nightmare slowly fading in the light of day.
Yes, we’d left Pat lying motionless on the side of the road.
But it didn’t matter.
What had happened was a crime against nature, and slowly, the tears began to pour down my cheeks as I stared straight ahead, trying to comprehend.
“Minnie,” rasped Thorn, glancing at me as he drove. Suddenly, I burst into hysterical sobs, unable to contain the horror anymore. The Master reached out and grabbed my hand but I shoved him away.
“Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!”
The expression on his face was pained.
“Minnie, please, it’s me.”
I could hear the agony in his voice,
But his words wouldn’t register. The phrase ‘you are not my daughter’ repeated in my head like a broken record. My life was a lie. None of it was true.
The car came to a stop.
Thorn looked at me and tried to reach for me again, but I jumped back like a frightened rabbit.
“Don’t touch me!” was my vehement response.
“Minnie, it’s me. It’s Thorn. Please, sweetheart. You’re in good hands now, please.”
But I wasn’t having any of it.
“No! My life is a fucking lie, Thorn!” The tears came like a flood now, and I didn’t care how I looked. I never thought my heart could be broken like this, but it was.
“Minnie, what did he say to you?”
“Pat’s not my Dad,” I cried. “My mom lied to him about my paternity, and he found out. My life is worthless, Thorn. Absolutely worthless. I really am the slut that he described, just like my mom. What were we doing Thorn? What were we thinking?”
The alpha’s expression was fierce.
“Minnie, we are not a mistake. Don’t say that.”
But my thoughts were jumbled, the pain in my heart relentless. I turned away from him and tried to get out of the car but he saw what I was doing and put pedal to the metal, the Mercedes surging forwards.
“Stop the car, Thorn!” I screamed, but the alpha ignored me.
“Minnie, you’re disoriented. You’re in shock. You need rest, please, sweetheart, please.”
“No!” I screamed once more. “Stop the car or I’ll throw myself out, Grayson. I’m not kidding.”
“Minnie, you have nowhere to go,” Thorn argued, trying to talk some sense into me. “You’re safe with me.”
“No, I’m not,” I said, my voice calmer and less hysterical. I looked at this man who meant so much to me. Yet my vision blurred, going hazy.
“My heart isn’t safe with you, Thorn. I have to guard whatever’s left of it.”
He gazed my way and slowed the car.
“Minnie, I won’t hurt you. I promise you on my mother’s grave, I would never hurt you.”
But tearfully, I shook my head.
“Everybody says that until they do the exact opposite. You can’t promise me that, Thorn. My own parents hurt me in ways that I don’t know how to fix.”
“But I’m not like them,” he protested, eyes fierce.
“You’re worse,” was my flat reply
There was a silence.
“I care about you,” he said it quietly. “I know with everything that’s happened, it’s hard to see straight. But we have something real, baby girl. Something that’s hard to find.”
I could see how the alpha was baring his soul in front of me, letting his guard down and revealing his innermost soul.
But I didn’t want to set myself up for another ruin. I couldn’t take another disappointment. First, finding out that my mom had kept my paternity a secret, and then Pat’s devastating assault. Risking things with Thorn was too much for me at the moment. Like a snail, I hunched into my shell, refusing to consider any possibilities.
“You don’t care about me,” was my desperate whisper. “No one does.”
But the big man wouldn’t give up.
“Minnie, please,” Thorn rasped, blue eyes gleaming. “I won’t hurt you. I’ll take care of you. You’ll get through this. We’ll get through this together, I promise. Just don’t leave, sweetheart, don’t leave.”
Tears fell down my cheeks again, hot and streaming.
“I can’t do this anymore, Thorn,” was my broken cry. “Everything Pat said was true. I’ve been fucking my teacher. My headmaster. My counselor! I was supposed to confide my secrets to you. You were supposed to make me into a woman, and instead …”
The sentence was never finished,
“Minnie…”
“Stop the car.”
“I’m not going to,” he said firmly but I could see that my words had hurt him. “You need someone right now and damnit, even if you don’t want it to be me you have no choice.”
“Stop the car, Thorn,” I repeated woodenly.
“No!”
“Stop or I’ll throw myself out,” I said again, voice eerily calm, my hand already on the handle.
Something must have penetrated his rage because the car came to a screeching halt.
And in a flash, I was out. We’d left the forest. I could see lights a few blocks away. Help was near.
But Thorn loomed, massive form blocking my way. He reached for my hands once more, but I wouldn’t let him touch me.
“Minnie, please. Just let me help you,” that deep voice sounded. “Please.”
I didn’t want to look into those blue eyes because my resolve would crumble like flour. So my chin turned away resolutely.
“Your judgment is clouded by the sexual feelings that you have for me, Thorn. That’s all it was. Help me now and you’ll be ruined, don’t you see? I’ll be ruined as well. I can’t afford that. My heart can’t take it.”
“Minnie.” His voice held a warning note.
“Leave me alone, Grayson,” I whispered, turning away, refusing to make eye contact. “It’s what I want.”
The big man rumbled.
“What will you do then? Where will you go? You have no one sweetheart. Let me help.”
But still, I wouldn’t meet his eyes. Shrugging, my curvy form turned away, shoulders squaring resolutely.
“I’ll think of something. Go now. Please.”
And there was a sense of finality in my voice. We’d reached the end, and even as my heart beat hard, I refused to meet his gaze.
To my relief, the alpha got back into his Mercedes and drove away, red taillights disappearing in the distance. It was only then that I crumpled onto the ground, heaving with pain and barely able to breathe. I was suffocating, overwhelmed by recent events.
Pat wasn’t my real father.
My mother left me with a monster, knowing how much he heated me.
The man who raised me tried to rape me.
And to make it worse, all of Pat’s accusations were true.
I was a whore like my mother.
I’d had a relationship with a man who was both my headmaster and therapist. I’d let this father figure touch me and kiss me, doing anything he asked.
Letting him use the whip.
Tie me up with chains.
Cuff me to the bed.
It was wrong in the beginning and it was wrong now.
But I didn’t realize that it would break my heart too.
Agonizingly, I pulled myself up from the road and forced myself to walk toward the lights. There must be a town. They had to have a payphone. Maybe I could call Dina or Nicole because the two girls were the only people I knew well enough. Maybe they could help, even though it was the dead of the night.
My heart sagged as I limped, mindlessly following the white line on the road. Why had I gotten out? But the answer was clear. One more second with my lover in that car and I would fall apart.
I couldn’t risk it.
My heart was broken.
And it would never be the same again.