GABE’S HEART STARTED beating faster. Then it gained strength, the quick beats now thick with blood. And he and Veronica had only stepped onto the elevator.
They stood an inch apart, both facing the door, neither speaking as they rose toward the twelfth floor of her hotel. It was early yet. Still bright outside. After the milkshakes, he’d suggested they grab dinner later. Much later. She’d agreed.
Gabe was half-hard already, his body already imagining the moment when her hotel room door locked behind them. But it wasn’t just that. She’d had fun tonight. She’d enjoyed his family and his neighborhood. She’d held his hand on the walk to her hotel.
She’d forgiven him.
The elevator doors slid open, and Veronica stepped out to lead the way. He followed, his hands tightening with the urge to touch her.
As she stopped in front of a door and got out her key card, Gabe told himself to go slow, be careful, but then he remembered her desperation back in his bedroom. Her dirty words urging him on. The way she’d pressed a sweet, small kiss to his cock and sent him to a new level of painful arousal.
Veronica being shy had turned him on. This new needy Veronica made him crazy. So as soon as he’d followed her through the door, he backed her against the wall and kissed her.
She didn’t hesitate. She kissed him right back, moaning into his mouth as she twisted her fingers into his hair to pull him closer. He was rock hard in two seconds flat and tugging Veronica’s shirt up with his next breath.
Do it now. He heard her breathless words again. Just hurry.
Yes. He needed to fuck her, taste her, remind her how good things were between them.
When he swung her toward the bed, she helpfully fell right into it, already kicking off her shoes. “I want you naked,” she said.
He stripped out of his shirt and pants, feeling a violent jolt of lust at the way her eyes glittered with hunger when they locked on to his cock. She slipped off her bra and reached to unbutton her skirt, but Gabe couldn’t wait. He hooked his fingers beneath the fabric and peeled her underwear down her legs and when the skirt slid off, she was naked.
He moved between her thighs, his shoulders pushing them open. She gasped his name, a protest or a plea, he wasn’t sure, but when he put his mouth to her, she was already wet, already flooding his tongue with that taste he’d been wanting.
She cried out sharply, her back arching as he found her clit with his tongue.
“Oh, fuck,” she groaned. “Oh, God, I missed that so much.”
So had he.
She planted her feet to the mattress and tipped her hips up to his mouth. He felt the sting of her hand gripping his hair and smiled against her. It hadn’t taken her long to get over any shyness about this. She wasn’t quiet anymore. She moaned and sighed as he licked her. Her thighs shook. “Yes,” she urged. “Yes.”
Gabe’s cock throbbed at the way she began to work herself against his mouth, as if she couldn’t wait to get fucked. And despite that she’d warned him just a few weeks before that she had trouble climaxing, she was coming now. Even she seemed surprised by how quick it was, her cry of release more a shocked gasp. Thighs still shaking, she muttered, “Oh, my God,” over and over, even as her orgasm subsided.
Gabe found the condoms he’d stashed in his pocket, rolled one on and slid back between her legs. Her eyes opened when his cock notched against her. They widened as he pushed in. Her tight heat squeezed him. He sighed with relief.
“I spent the past two weeks fantasizing about this,” he rasped as he pushed deeper. “How fucking wet you get for me. How hot your pussy is. How much I love filling you up.”
She moaned and wrapped her legs around his hips.
“You’re perfect, Veronica.” He was finally pressed as deep as he could get. He closed his eyes and held himself still for a moment, feeling her body ease around him.
“I’m not,” she whispered.
“Yes, you are. So fucking perfect.”
“No,” she insisted, but when he moved within her, she stopped denying it. She only moaned and wrapped her legs tighter.
“Don’t you feel perfect?” he growled. “Don’t you feel like everything I want?”
She shook her head, but he kept fucking her until she said yes. Yes, she was perfect. Yes, she was everything he wanted. Yes, he loved filling her up more than he loved anything in the world.
He loved her pussy and her breasts and the way her sweet face melted into carnality as he sank his cock into her over and over. The way she dug her nails into his back. The way she began to meet his thrusts. The way she got wetter and wetter the longer he fucked her, her body wanting more, more, more.
Yes.
The pleasure descended over him, pushing against the pressure building inside until he couldn’t bear it anymore. His orgasm seized him tight. With a gasp, he sank himself deeper, faster, coming so hard that he felt dizzy with it. Everything went dark except that painful pleasure. It felt like a full minute before it faded.
He opened his eyes to find Veronica watching with a strange, tender look on her face. She stroked a hand over his cheek, and he turned to press a kiss to her palm. “I love you, Veronica,” he said against her skin.
She let her hand fall away. “Don’t say that.”
“I know it’s too soon. But it’s true.” When he leaned down to kiss her, she kissed him back. He didn’t need her to say it. He didn’t even need her to feel the same right now. But he wanted her to know how he felt.
He slid free of her body and went to the bathroom to clean up. When he got back, he slipped under the covers with her and pulled her into his arms.
“It’s strange,” she whispered, “how quickly someone else’s presence becomes comfortable.”
“It doesn’t always happen,” he said, and felt her nod against him. “Sometimes you just want to get away from the other person as soon as you can.”
“Yeah, I remember that even from my few false starts. But it never felt strange with you. I always wanted to get closer.”
“I’m so happy to hear that,” he said with a chuckle. “How long are you staying?”
“Here? I leave tomorrow.”
The shock of that was almost a physical pain. “What?”
“I have two meetings in the morning, and I fly out around three. I didn’t want to stay long. You know how I feel about the city.”
He scooted higher on the bed, sitting up so he could look at her. “But you had a good time today. Everything seemed...good.”
She looked up at him for a moment, but then she sat up, too, dragging the sheets high to cover herself. “It was good. Obviously. This was really good. But, Gabe... I’m going home.”
“Okay, fine,” he said, the warmth in his body starting to replace itself with something hotter. Anger or panic. “This was a preliminary trip. But I don’t want this to be over. I meant it when I said I missed you. Being with you here feels right. Like I never left.”
She shook her head, still not looking at him. “I can’t do this.”
Yes, the heat was definitely panic. “I know you’re angry. You have a right to be.”
“That’s not it,” she started, but he cut her off.
“You’re in Jackson, yes, but I’ll come out as often as I can.”
“What, twice a year?”
He took her hand. “We could do that for a little while. It could work. You like my family. You had a nice time today. I have friends here, and you could fit right in. You can’t tell me there isn’t still something you love about this city.”
“Gabe.” She shook her head.
“It’ll be a few years. That’s all. We can try it this way for a while, and you never know—maybe you’ll come back to the city for a little while. With a syndicated column, you could work anywhere. A few years, Veronica. Then one of my sisters will step up.”
“Do you honestly believe that will happen, Gabe?”
“It has to,” he answered.
“No,” she said, pulling her hand away. She climbed from the bed and pulled her shirt on, then her skirt. He just sat there, dumb with shock. One minute everything had been perfect, and now...
“I’m not doing this,” she said. “I can’t. And it’s not because I’m afraid to live in New York again or because you lied to me or because it will be long-distance.”
“Then why?” he pressed. “And don’t tell me it’s because you don’t feel it, too. There’s something special between us. In bed, yes, but out of it, too.”
“There is,” she agreed. “It’s special and good and it hurts, Gabe.” She swiped at a tear that escaped her eye. “Because I want it so much and I can’t have it.”
“You can.” He stood up and pulled on his pants, then reached toward her, trying to offer comfort, but she shook her head.
“No. I’ve spent my entire life pretending. Pretending I wasn’t shy and scared and lonely. I faked my way through high school and college. I faked my way through New York City. I’ve faked my way through Dear Veronica, too, and I’m not doing it anymore. Not ever again.”
He shook his head. “I’d never ask you to be someone you’re not.”
“No. Not me, Gabe. You. You want me to come here and live your fake life with you.”
His head drew back as if he were trying to escape a blow. “What?” A huff of breath escaped him on a laugh. “Me?”
“You’re always telling me to be myself,” she said, “but how can you say that? You’re planning a whole fake life for yourself, doing something you hate in a place you don’t want to be.”
“I don’t have a choice!”
“Fine, but I’m not going back, and I’m not going to watch you do that to yourself.”
“I’ll still be me, Veronica.”
“No, you won’t. Everything about you was different at the restaurant today, and that will hurt you the same way it hurt me. I won’t encourage it. I won’t be a part of it. Claire isn’t going to walk away from her life and run a burger place. She’s a vegan, Gabe! And Naomi? You think she’s going to run MacKenzie’s? She just told me tonight that she wants to buy a place in Paris!”
She wiped another tear from her cheek, but this time Gabe was too shocked to try to comfort her. His limbs felt numb. “What the hell am I supposed to do?” he asked. “Just watch my dad work until he dies?”
“I don’t know!” she cried. Then she took a deep breath and seemed to calm. “I have no idea, but I don’t think the answer is to give up everything you are because he’s stubborn. I’ve tried that kind of thing. It doesn’t work.”
He snatched up his shirt, the panic finally flowing into fury. “I don’t have any choice. Don’t you get that?”
“Okay,” she whispered. “But I do.”
Wow. She was really walking away from him. How could she not understand? “You don’t even like your dad and you can’t stand up to him. I’m doing this out of love, at least.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he hated himself for them, but she nodded.
“That’s changing,” she said. “I’m learning. But for you... It’s like you only want people to know the good things, Gabe. You did that with me. You’re doing that with your dad. It’s protective, I think. You want to take care of the bad stuff yourself. You want to shield them. But you’re shielding yourself, too. Nobody has to be disappointed with you, because you’ll make it all okay.”
“I’m not one of your columns,” he snapped.
“Right. I’m sorry. That was...” She shrugged. “I’m sorry.”
Gabe fastened his belt and shoved his feet into his shoes. “Call me if you change your mind,” he said.
Lips pressed tight together, she nodded.
“Good luck tomorrow.”
“Thank you.”
He left before he said something else that was hurtful. Something he wouldn’t be able to take back.
She couldn’t understand family, because her dad had never done the things he should have. But Gabe’s dad was different. He’d always taken care of them. Always watched out. Always made sure they had the best. He’d protected all of them, and now it was Gabe’s turn to do the same.
He couldn’t walk away from that, not even for Veronica. So he rode down the elevator and felt another thing he wanted dropping away, and he knew there was nothing he could do about it.
* * *
HE DIDN’T SLEEP a wink. He dragged himself from bed at 5:00 a.m. to go for a run and try to get Veronica out of his head, but all he thought about while running through the dawn streets was how much she’d like it this time of morning. How clean it all was. How the birds were singing and the pink sun glinted off the river and how much he wished she were with him.
He was cleaned up and on the subway by seven, heading to Brooklyn to check in on the new location. His dad had been begging him to, and frankly, Gabe needed off the island. Veronica was only a few dozen blocks away. If he stayed that close, he’d go see her. So he went to Brooklyn and watched the contractors work for a while, pretending he gave a damn about it all.
But her words stung him as if they were new wounds on his skin. Maybe it was pretending. He’d told himself sacrifice was just part of growing up, but now he didn’t know if he was sacrificing his happiness for something good or if he was just giving in.
He wasn’t bad at this job. He could do it. He was organized and sharp and dedicated to keeping his father’s vision going. It was a lot of work, but he was young and healthy—he could push himself just as hard as his dad had.
And then what? Do the same thing year after year until he had a heart attack, too?
Shit.
At 10:00 a.m. Gabe shook the general contractor’s hand and made a quick escape from the newly gutted space. He felt as if he’d been working for ten hours instead of two and a half. The cacophony of the subway station seemed to bore through his skull. When the train pulled up, Gabe caught sight of himself in the reflection of the window, neck bent, shoulders hunched up. He looked miserable.
Veronica was right. He wasn’t himself here. He couldn’t be. But he didn’t have any fucking choice.
The fury was there again as he boarded the train. It built as the car picked up speed, the roar of noise like fuel on a fire. Gabe closed his eyes and imagined feeling like this again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the year after that.
He opened his eyes and glanced at the people surrounding him. They looked as exhausted and miserable as Gabe felt. His dad was different. If James MacKenzie had been here, he’d have struck up three different conversations and had the whole damn train car laughing. That was his happiness in life. Being around people, cheering them up, whether that was with a good burger or a bad joke. He loved what he did, and even with that, the business had worn him down with stress. How would Gabe survive it?
Because Veronica was definitely right about one thing. Claire wasn’t going to step up in a few years and neither was Naomi. If Gabe took this on, he’d be taking it on forever.
If. That word meant he had a choice. Did he?
When he got back to his family’s place, he wasn’t surprised to walk in on an argument. His mom and dad were both stubborn and strong, and they’d never spent this many hours of the week together.
“You’ve been putting me off for decades,” his mom snapped, “telling me we’d travel next year or the year after that. I want to go to the Bahamas. I want to go to Europe. I want to go on a cruise. And you have to take time off. The doctor said so.”
“I’m taking time off. Don’t you see me sitting here being useless? I’ll travel with you, Mary, I swear to God, but right now I need to be here to help Gabe. You think he’s just going to step right in and things will go smoothly? I may not be able to work sixty hours a week, but I can damn sure be here to offer guidance.”
Gabe waved as he walked into the kitchen. “Hi, Mom. Dad.”
“Gabe,” his mom said, “tell your father you don’t need him here.”
“Of course he needs me here,” his dad snapped.
“Watch your blood pressure!” she yelled back.
“Guys,” Gabe said, holding up his hands in a plea.
His dad scoffed. “There will be plenty of time to travel later. I can’t just leave Gabe with a mess. What’s the point of leaving my kids the business if it’s in chaos?”
What was the point exactly? Gabe took a deep breath. “Dad, did you ever consider that maybe the legacy your kids would rather have is you?”
His dad’s face creased with bafflement. “What are you talking about? You’ve got me. I’m right here.”
“None of us are married yet,” Gabe said. “None of us have kids. If we could trade the restaurants for another twenty years with you, all three of us would make that choice in a heartbeat. Sometimes it seems like you care more about MacKenzie’s than you do about time with any grandkids you might have.”
“Gabe,” his Dad growled. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I want you around to see my kids, Dad. I can’t imagine a better grandfather than you.”
“What’s all this about? Is Veronica pregnant?”
His mom stepped forward. “Gabe? Is that true?”
He laughed. “No, she’s not pregnant. She’ll be back in Wyoming tonight and I’ll probably never see her again.”
His mom tsked, but his dad shook his head. “That’s nonsense. She’ll be back. I could see in a second how good you were together. I haven’t seen you that relaxed and happy since you got home. You were like the old Gabe again.”
“Ha. Right.” He looked at his mom, the lines around her eyes tight with worry and resignation. She’d been waiting her whole life for the man she loved to stop working so hard and give her some real time together. And she’d keep waiting.
And his dad, so determined to make everything perfect and so sure of what was right for everyone that he couldn’t see how wrong he was. Even a brush with death hadn’t changed that. He was as stubborn as ever and Gabe was going to allow that to continue.
He looked at both his parents and stood up a little straighter. “We need to talk,” he said. He was going to have to tell the whole truth. The kind of truth that no one wanted to hear. And for once, he couldn’t try to cushion the blow.