“I swear to God, Natalie. I’m going to be pregnant forever.” I groan, placing a bag of frozen peas on my neck. “And it’s so fucking hot. Texas is hell. That’s what it is. This ninety-something degree weather is for the damn birds.” I’m going off, I know, but I’m so damn miserable.

“So I guess you’re adapting to the heat,” she teases.

“I hate you so much right now.” I narrow my eyes at her, but my cell service sucks out here and keeps freezing during our FaceTiming.

“I know, babe. You hate everyone.” She chuckles, clearly amused by my misery.

“How can I have another six weeks of this? That feels impossible. This baby is going to pop out of my belly button.”

I hear Adam snort in the background, and just then Alex walks into the living room.

“Is it safe to come in? It doesn’t sound very safe.”

“Run, Alex! Run!” Natalie shouts when she hears his voice.

Alex laughs from behind me as he wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my cheek.

“Oh my God,” I nearly scream, pushing Alex away. “What is that ungodly smell?

“Crap, sorry. Yeah, that’s cow shit.”

I look back at my phone and Natalie is losing her damn mind, laughing so hard I’m worried she’ll pee herself. I pretend to sob and press my face up to my phone screen. “Help me. Please.”

“You made your bed, girl. Now lie in it. Or rather, lie in shit.”

“You’re the worst best friend in the world,” I deadpan.

Alex chuckles, kicking his shoes off and unbuttoning his jeans.

“What are you doing? Natalie can see you,” I remind him.

“Shh, don’t stop him,” she whispers before Alex can respond. “I wouldn’t turn that away if his hair was on fire.”

“You know I’m right here,” Adam interrupts.

“Like she cares?” I joke. “Should’ve seen her at the beach googly-eyeing all the man meat.”

I turn around and see Alex has tossed his jeans. Then he wraps his arm around his neck to pull his shirt off. Oh God, help me. I love it when he does that. The way he fists the fabric and shreds it off his back. I feel my ovaries combusting all over again.

“Sweet baby Jesus.” Natalie’s words interrupt my dirty thoughts.

My eyes widen, and that’s when I take the phone and end the call.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Alex says with a sexy smirk on his face.

“You were two steps away from giving her the full strip show.”

“Well, I didn’t want to walk through the house with shit on my clothes. I was going to jump in the shower.”

“You couldn’t have done that in the kitchen?” I scold.

“I could’ve, but then I would’ve missed how flush you get when I take off my clothes.” He winks, and I swallow hard to contain myself.

He walks out in only his boxers, giving me a perfect view of his ass. Damn him. He’s doing this on purpose.

Later that night, we snuggle on the couch and watch a movie after dinner. I’m starting to really get used to this lifestyle of ours. Alex works a lot and sometimes really long days, but I love the feeling knowing he’s coming home to me. He’s always close by if I need him, and that security reassures me that everything is going to work out the way it’s supposed to.

Ever since Alex told me he loved me two weeks ago, I can’t get enough of it. We’re continuing the no-sex part of our relationship, which is fine by me considering I look and feel like a whale. But our heated kisses tell me everything I need to know.

He’s not going anywhere.

Crazy Carly and Jealous Jenna and Petty Penelope—or whoever was his past—no longer matter. I won’t let his past come between our future.

I end up falling asleep on the couch and vaguely remember Alex carrying me to my room and tucking me into bed. His lips brushed along my cheek before I fell deeper into sleep.

“Holy fuck,” I shout, sitting up in bed. A sharp pain stabs me in the back, waking me up from a dead sleep. Pressing my hand against my lower back, I trying adding pressure to where the pain is, but it doesn’t let up.

“Shit,” I mutter, shifting my body to see if that works. I’ve never felt this kind of pain before, and it feels much worse than just a regular back spasm.

I sit on the edge of the bed and try taking a few deep breaths. The stabs keep coming, stronger now, and I’m worrying it might be the start of labor.

“Alex!” I shout through the pain. I’m not sure he can hear me, so I say his name again. When I get no response, I reach for my phone and call him. I don’t hear his phone ringing in the next room or him, so I somehow manage to get up and walk into the hallway. “Alex! I think the baby’s coming!”

I thought for sure that’d wake him up, but since it’s two in the morning, he’s probably in a dead sleep. I knock on his door before walking in, another sharp stab riveting down my spine. “Fuck!”

Flicking the light on, I look around and see he’s not in bed. The sheets are pulled back, but he’s not here. “What the hell?”

I search the bathroom next, and it’s empty. Then I walk into the living room and kitchen—nothing! Where the hell could he be in the middle of the night?

“Ah! Oh my God!” I lean over the kitchen table, panting and trying to breathe through the pain. About thirty seconds go by, then I’m able to walk back to my room and grab my phone. I call him again with no answer, then text him. My entire back feels like it’s contracting, and I’m so goddamn pissed that Alex isn’t here.

Why the hell would he leave in the middle of the night and not tell me when he knows I’m eight months pregnant?

I decide to call John next just in case there was another cattle emergency. When he doesn’t answer, I call Jackson. “Fuck,” I shout. Evan’s phone is always on, but I hate to call him since he lives a half hour away. He probably works in a few hours, too, but after calling Dylan and not getting a response, I have no choice but to call him.

“River?” he answers, picking up right away. “Everything okay?”

“No,” I whimper. “I think I’m going into labor, and Alex isn’t home. He’s not picking up my calls.”

“What’s wrong? Did your water break?”

“No, but I woke up with these really sharp stabbing pains in my back, and they last for about thirty seconds, but they take my breath away. They just came out of nowhere.”

“How much time between when they stop and start up again?”

“Um…I don’t know. A few minutes, maybe?”

“Okay, hang tight. I’m on my way.”

I feel so unprepared even though I’ve been reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting with Alex for the last couple of months. He surprised me one day when he came home and said he’d ordered it for me. I started reading it while he was at work all day, then when he’d get home, I’d recap all the highlights, so he knew some of the basics, too. I’ve worked with kids and babies for years, but it just feels so different when you know it’s going to be yours, and you have to take this baby home and raise it.

Another sharp pain rips through me, and I swear they’re getting more and more intense. I text Alex three more times before calling again and leaving another voice message. Finally, as my last resort, I call Mrs. Bishop.

“Hello?” she answers, sleep evident in her voice.

“Hi, I’m so sorry to wake you, but I can’t find Alex. He’s not answering his phone, and neither are Jackson and John. Do you know if there was an emergency or anything that he would’ve needed to leave for?” I ramble on as quickly as I can, then wonder if she caught any of that.

“River, darlin’ is that you?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m in a lot of pain, and Alex isn’t home. Do you have any idea where he could be?”

She curses under her breath, and I hear her muttering her husband’s name. “Scott, wake up. Did you send the boys out recently?”

A few silent moments pass until I finally hear his mumbled response. “No, why?”

“River’s on the phone looking for Alex.”

“No idea.”

“Sorry, dear.” Her voice is louder as she speaks directly into the phone. “Are you okay? Do you want me to come over?”

“Evan’s on his way. He was the only one who answered.”

“Okay, well you call back if you need anything or have any updates, all right? If I hear from Alex, I’ll tell him you’re looking for him.”

I thank her before hanging up, and another sharp stab jerks my body off the bed.

“Holy fuck. This is intense.” I lean over the bed, my palms flat and my legs straight as I breathe through it. Once it slows to an annoying, dull ache, I sit back down. I’m so goddamn mad at Alex right now. Where the fuck is he?

Anger boils through me as I think about his past and if I can really depend on him during times I need him the most. He promised me. Said he’d always be here for the baby and me.

Then where the hell is he?

I’m lying on the bed for twenty minutes trying to breathe through the pain when I hear someone walk in.

“Alex?” I sit up, but I’m disappointed when I hear Evan.

“No, it’s me.” Evan steps into my room, wearing his dark blue scrubs and carrying a bag. I wonder if he sleeps in those damn things, considering it’s all I see him in.

“How’d you get here so fast?”

“Went eighty the entire way.”

“You trying to kill yourself?”

“No, but I’m going to kill my brother. I called him ten times.”

I groan. “Join the club.”

“Show me where it hurts.”

I point to my lower back and wince. “Radiates all the way up my spine.”

“How have they been since you called me?”

“They’ve been feeling more intense, but that’s probably because my blood pressure is skyrocketed with anger.”

“That tends to happen when you’re in pain, too. I’m going to find you a heating pad and see if that helps the pain. You’re about thirty weeks?”

“Thirty-four,” I clarify.

“Still too early,” he states. “As long as your water doesn’t break, you can stay here and wait to see if the contractions slow down. Once they’re five minutes apart consistently for an hour, then it’ll be time to get you to the hospital.”

“You really think I could be in labor?”

“I don’t know. Early labor signs are common, but you can’t ever be too careful. My guess is Braxton Hicks, but I don’t want to rule out early labor just yet.”

Evan tells me to get comfortable in bed as best as I can and searches for the heating pad. Once he returns, he helps me adjust my body, so it rests on my lower back.

“How’s that?” he asks after a few minutes.

“Good, the heat seems to be helping.”

“I’m going to set my stopwatch and keep a timer on my phone. Tell me when you feel another contraction coming, and I’ll keep track. If they don’t let up, I’m calling your doctor.”

I swallow. “Okay.” As mad as I am at Alex right now, I just want him here. I don’t want him to miss this. Though considering no one seems to know where he is right now, I can’t help but worry about him too.

Fifteen minutes go by when Evan’s phone rings. “It’s John.”

He picks up and answers. “Hey.” Pause. “He did what? Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Another pause. “I’m with River right now. She was having contractions and couldn’t get ahold of Alex.” Another brief pause. “I’m going to kick his ass.”

He hangs up, and I can tell it’s not good news.

“Dylan’s driving him back here right now. Jackson threw a party, and John called him to come handle it since he was out, then when John got back home, they were all drinking. Dylan, too, but he’s sobered up enough to bring Alex back.”

“Wait, what? They were drinking?”

“I guess.” He shrugs.

Grinding my teeth, I bite my lip. So many questions swirl around in my mind, and the anger that formed earlier is now in full force. I can understand him doing John a favor and making sure the party doesn’t get out of hand, but why the hell would he then drink himself knowing I’m home. He couldn’t even consider sending me a text, so I knew where he was. He didn’t even bother to check his phone to see that we’ve all been calling him! God. I’m so pissed.

“Another one,” I tell Evan so he can start his timer again. Luckily, the gap between them has slowed down, but they’re intense. He’s been so nice to sit with me and talk me through all of this. He explained back labor and how some women get it worse than others, whereas some don’t get it at all and suffer from cramps in their abdomen.

“Twenty seconds,” Evan tells me once I motion that it’s done. “They’re not lasting as long, so that’s a good sign.”

“The heating pad really helps,” I say, lying on my side with pillows surrounding me. “I think I’m going to be sleeping with this for the rest of my life.”

He chuckles. “As long as you don’t keep it on too long at one stretch.”

“I won’t.”

Ten minutes later, we both hear a commotion coming from the side door. I hear Dylan mumbling as shit is being knocked over.

“For Christ’s sake,” Evan mutters, stalking out of my room and stomping down the hallway. Shit, he’s just as pissed as I am.

“Are you fucking kiddin’ me?” I hear Evan roar.

“Evan?” Alex asks, and I can tell he’s wasted by the high pitch of his tone. His voice slurs, and he’s chuckling at nothing. “What’re ya doin’ here?”

“Alex, I told you,” Dylan pipes in. “Evan’s helping River.”

“Oh right,” he says, lazily. “Is she okay?”

“IS SHE OKAY?” Evan shouts, making me jump. Holy fuck. “She’s been in excruciating pain while wondering where the fuck you are. You know how to answer a goddamn phone?”

“Dude, chill,” Alex snaps, and then I hear some stumbling.

“Are you fuckin’ serious?” Evan growls. “Don’t push me, Alex. I know you’re wasted off your ass right now, but you fucked up, man.”

“Let’s just get him into bed, so he can sleep it off,” Dylan suggests. I’m tempted to walk out there and give Alex a piece of my mind, but I doubt it’d make any difference right now.

“Yeah, get his ass to bed.”

“Whatever,” I hear Alex mutter.

“Don’t come crying to me when River leaves your ass again. You did this to yourself.” Evan’s voice is harsh, and I wonder how things are going to change between us now. The pain shifts from my back directly to my heart. How could Alex do this to me?

“Shut the hell up,” Dylan shouts. “Both of you.”

I hear footsteps as Dylan walks Alex to his room next to mine. “I’m not undressing you,” he says. “But I’ll take off your damn shoes.”

“Don’t touch me. I’m fine,” Alex slurs. “Let me talk to River.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“She’s my woman, Dylan. Get the fuck out of my way.”

Evan’s standing in my room, arms crossed and shaking his head. I hadn’t even realized I was crying until tears start falling from my cheeks.

This is what I’ve been afraid of since the start. Completely heartbroken.

“River!”

He walks down the hall and stumbles into my room. Evan holds an arm out to keep him from falling. “She’s resting,” he tells him in a lower voice.

“What happened?”

“She’s been having Braxton Hicks contractions. It’s where the body starts practicing for labor—”

“Yeah, I know,” Alex interrupts. “So she’s not in active labor?”

“I don’t think so. They’ve slowed down, and the heating pad seems to be helping for pain.”

Alex walks toward me and drops to his knees so our faces align. He looks like absolute hell. He can barely keep his eyes open, and his face is pale. There’s no doubt in my mind he’s going to be sick as hell tomorrow.

“I’m really sorry, sweetheart.” His voice is so low, it’s almost torture to hear.

I inhale deeply as another jab comes, but I do my best to push the pain away.

“I could’ve been in labor, and you would’ve missed it,” I say, softly. “I really needed you tonight.”

He grabs my hand and hangs his head. “I let you down. I’m so, so sorry.”

I squeeze his hand three times, but I don’t plan to let him off that easy. “Why don’t you go to bed and sleep it off?”

“No, I’m not leaving you again. I want to help.”

“You’re drunk,” I remind him. “And Evan’s here, so I won’t be alone.”

I feel his body tense up at the mention of his brother’s name. Evan’s a professional, and I trust him, but that’s all this is. I’ve done my best to get close to Alex’s family, but Evan isn’t around as much as the others. However, after tonight I feel like I’m getting closer to him now, too.

“You sleeping this off is the only way you’re going to help her,” Evan interrupts. “I’ll stay with her till the contractions stop.”

Alex swallows, keeping his lips tight. “Wake me if anything else happens,” he tells Evan when he helps him off the floor.

“Yeah, I will.” Evan pats Alex on the back.

“I love you.” Alex bends and kisses my forehead.

Another hour passes, and the contractions have dulled to almost nothing. “You can leave,” I tell Evan. It’s almost eight in the morning, and I doubt he slept much before I called him.

“I don’t mind. I’ll stay for another hour, then I have to leave for my shift.”

“Evan…” My voice lingers, but exhaustion is starting to take over. “How are you going to work after being up all night?”

The corner of his lips curls up, amused by my question. He’s leaning on the wall closest to my bed and has been for most of the night.

“What? You think you’re the first girl to keep me up all night before a long day at work?” He winks, and I can’t help but laugh at that.

“That’s the most Bishop thing I’ve ever heard you say.”