Taste It (A Shameless Gay Romance Story) by C.J. Powers (1)

 

 

“So Zach,”twenty-one-year-old Jason Summer’s, Zachary Collin’s best friend asked while flopping down on the green of MIT’s Killian Court, twirling the electric blue Frisbee after warming up for the unofficial welcome ultimate match seven hours early. “So what did you do for the summer break, bro?”

 

Stopping from rolling his eyes at the computer science major, Zack casually shrugged, “I skipped town.”

 

“Oh, yeah, where?”

 

“Brazil,” Zach replied while reclining on the soft green and plucking a few blades of the brilliant vibrant herb that blanketed the field, “Just wanted some new scenery, you know.”

 

Jason snorted, twisted his head and pinned Zachary with sharp blue-hazel eyes, “Come on, like I beloved that crock. You didn't have to leave the country to do that; despite what you all think, I ain't stupid, it has to be something else.”

 

“Believe it or not,  it's the truth, it's not like I'm here ragging you about you hightailing it to Cali the first second you got, am I? Do you hear me questioning you about running around with surfer girls and getting that full body tan you've been bitching about for all of last spring.” Zach snorted.

 

“California, sw-ee-et California,” Jason sighed at the memory, “Those chicks are awesome and sunbathing nude is the shit. You can't believe the freaky shit they put on in the ocea- hey, dimshit, you took me off topic.”

 

Leaning back and tilted his face to the warm sun Zach grinned, “I didn't do a damn thing, it's not like I can direct what your banana brain thinks is important.”

 

“Come on man,” Jason almost snapped. “I don't believe you skipped the whole country just for some sun, level with me here. You probably went for the chicks.”

 

Zachary rolled his eyes, reached over and smacked Jason over his bleach blond hair “Is that all you think about, sex?”

 

“Hey, I'm a red-blooded male here; it's wired into my DNA dude. So did you score or what?”

 

Zachary turned away, grimacing internally. Pick up chicks, yeah right. Over three years ago in the middle of his senior year at his private high school, Buckingham Browne & Nichols, he had painfully admitted to himself that he wasn’t straight- but not for the lack of trying to be.

 

He had done all the right ‘guy’ things; played football, hit the gym and lifted weights to the point he had gotten sick and gone on double dates with his friends’ girlfriend’s girlfriends. They’d made out, and even gone to second base but he didn’t feel much arousal. They were cute and funny but no matter how attractive they were, he just wasn’t drawn to them.

 

Desperate, he had even watched porn but had found his eyes being drawn to the guys more than the girls. One painful night, laying in his bed and fantasizing about his history TA who wore geek glasses, had an encyclopedic vocabulary and had a messy boy-band haircut, he had to admit he was gay.

 

On Patriots Day, after his first year MIT he had come out to his parents, and up to the summer break, a full five months after his confession- in April, his mother still couldn't look him in the face. It was nearly a year and a half now and Zach still hadn't gathered the courage to come out to his friends.

 

The truth was that he had gone to Brazil for two reasons; to lessen the tension in the house and to release all that pent-up tension he had. Two clandestine make-out sessions with a couple of experimenting boys and one handjob by an expert had left him yearning for more; more that he couldn’t dare find in the city of Boston; so he had left to find it. Three nights in on the Copacabana beach in Rio he had found it, in the form of a handsome cabana boy named Lucas.

 

 “I just went to chill out dude...” Zachary shrugged negligently, “It’s not a big deal.”

 

“Whatever,” Jason shrugged, “So you up for KickOff and Open House tonight?”

 

Zachary slanted a disbelieving eye at him, “Come on, you and I both know it's just going to be our seniors pushing us to join club this or team that. After that massive mistake in my freshman year, I've learned to avoid that thing like the plague.”

 

“Oh come on,” Jason huffed, “Its prime time to scope out the new freshman blood, cute chicks looking all confused and ready to please, we could help them out you know… sexual style.”

 

“You're out of your mind,” Zach replied. “The new girls aren’t stupid enough to fall for a jock like you.”

 

“I'm telling you they will be here,” Jason said before grimacing, “... even some charity cases.”

 

A twinge of irritation ran through Zachary at Jason callousness. He couldn't believe how narrow-minded and bigoted Jason was at times, but then he had known that from their private high school. The other man could be a good friend for ninety percent of the time but the ten percent of snobbery overridden all his good points.

 

“They're called scholarship students, Jason,” Zachary says evenly, “And they deserve the same chances we get, probably even more because they actually worked for it.”

 

“Whatever,” Jason rolled his ice blue eyes, “I still don't understand why Admissions just had to go and scrape up all that junk from the hoods they're in and carry their unnatural queer shit, ghetto attitude, guns and drugs up here; a place that was once respectable- until the crap came in. They’ve turned this place into a slum.”

 

Zachary narrowed his gaze, “That's low Jase.”

 

“Just speaking the truth Zach,” Jason shrugged, “Dude in case you haven't noticed, they had to lock down Senior House because of that shit. It’s what it is br- ugh, speak of the devil, did the Harlem Globetrotters pass through town or what?”

 

With a strong reprove on the tip of his tongue, Zachary followed Jason line of sight to see a man, about twenty feet away, at the edge of the green, about five eight with soft mocha skin and thinly twined dreadlocks fluttering around his twisting head.

 

The guy’s lean frame was simply dressed in dark jeans and a navy blue shirt with a black book back thrown over his shoulder and was clutching a piece of paper, most likely a sheet of directions.

 

“He's looks lost.” Jason murmured.

 

“You're right,” Zachary replied, getting up, mostly to get away from Jason's bad attitude, “He must be new here, I'll go help him out.”

 

The man - whoever he was- had turned away from the approaching Zachary and only reacted when Zach lightly touched him on the arm.

 

He jumped a bit but spun to meet Zachary's eyes and when he did the young electric engineer almost swallowed his tongue. Nestled in surrounding smooth caramel skin, this man had almond-shaped eyes that held orbs the deepest shade of hypnotic molten gold.

 

“I'm sorry, but you look a little lost,” Zachary said kindly after managing to get his reaction under control. 

 

A small depreciating smile crossed his face, “What is your definition of little?”

 

The second that simple sentence slipped out Zachary's pulse had kicked up a notch. This man's smooth, sensuous Louisiana drawl had sent shivers down Zachary's spine.

 

“I take it back, how about really lost?” Zach corrected with a small depreciating grin.

 

“That's more like it,” He sighed, “I've been looking for the Civil and Environmental Engineering department from creation and still haven't found it.”

 

“You're a civil engineering student?” Zach replied trying to quell the growing attraction in his chest, “That’s cool, I'm an electrical one. I know the place like the back of my hand, come on I'll show you around.”

 

“That would be nice,” the stranger murmured but then nodded to Jason who was sitting up and watching them, “but I'd hate to take you away from your friend over there.”

 

Zachary shot a quick look over to Jason and then back to the one a mere foot away and realized that this stranger had seen them, “That's all right, he isn't going anywhere soon; I'm Zachary, Zachary Collins.”

 

“Kymani Latibeaudiere,” Kymani said with a lopsided smile while sticking out a hand, a hand which Zachary immediately clasped and shook, “Well, Zach’ry, let’s go.”

 

Even though most people didn’t pronounce the last ‘a’ in his name, this was first time in his life Zachary had felt attraction tighten his gut so strongly just by someone speaking his name.

 

“Okay,” Zach said, casually slipping his tingling hand in his pocket, turned around and looked at the new guy from the corner of his eye, “You’re basically in the right place, it’s the same faculty but the Civ department is just across from du Pont.”

 

“Where’s yours?”

 

Inwardly, Zachary cursed; that voice seemed to dig into the deepest parts of him and magically overpower the four nights he had spent at the Lucas’ mercy. Dark nights filled with cotton sheets, warm skin, hot mouths and shivering orgasms seemed to plummet to absolute zero when compared to the level of audible sex in Kymani’s voice.

 

“I’m all the way over at the Fairchild Building; about ten minutes walk from here…” Zach said eyeing the ECC building in the distance like it was his saving grace, “So, I know you’re from Louisiana, but where exactly.”

 

Kymani shot him a quick look, “New Orleans…I’m second year actually, just transferred from the university there…the engineering faculty was okay… but I wanted a stronger challenge.”

 

The words, New Orleans, were sibilantly drawled into one continuous word, ‘Naawrleans’, and flowed over Zack’s limbic system like liquid honey.

 

“Have you ever heard that MIT engineering student doesn’t run from a challenge; we run to them. I’m pretty sure ‘challenge’ is MIT’s unofficial motto, our professors don’t let up.” Zach replied as they approached the glass door, “May I ask, why do you want to be a civil engineer in the first place?”

 

“If you have ever seen the building in the Old Quarter, you’d know why. New Orleans has the most gorgeous historical buildings in half of the country,” Kymani said tucking a lock behind an ear as he stepped up. “I want them to stay that way, for generations to come.”

 

The single movement bared the tiny stud in Kymani’s right lobe and Zachary felt his throat close up for a moment at the known signal of a gay man- but then again, a lot of straight guys were piercing their ears, so he didn’t have any real reason to suspect Kymani was gay.

 

With half of his mind on Kymani’s ear and the other trying desperately to not visibly react to Kymani’s voice, Zach lightly rapped his knuckles on the door open and jumped slightly when Kymani’s hand brushed his. His eyes darted to Kymani’s and mentally cursed; this was getting way too high school for him. He was twenty-one goddamnit, not fourteen.

 

“Sorry,” he laughed and stepped back, “This is you so… I’ll see you around?”

 

By that time Kymani had slipped inside and golden eyes met Zach’s while he held the door open, “Why not stay a spell, this won’t take long, I’m only just going to drop off some papers; we can talk after. I don’t know this place at all, so, can I cash in on your offer to show me around?”

 

“Oh, okay sure…” Zach laughed softly while stepping inside and thanking the powers that be for the cool air inside, “No problem… I honestly don’t know much about New Orleans aside from Mardi Gras and rumors of voodoo.”

 

Kymani snorted, eyeing him with an amused expression, “Typical, it’s like you utter the word New Orleans and all y’all can think of are ghosts, ghouls, and zombies.”

 

“So are you saying voodoo isn’t real?” Zach teased, “Just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo?”

 

“Oh no,” Kymani smirked with a head shake while heading to the counter, “Voodoo is real, you don’t want to mess around with voodoo.”

 

That was for damn sure, Zachary already felt bewitched as he watched the man speak quietly to the attendant at the desk.

 

Zach leaned on the closest wall, head back on the cold paint and trying to feel this situation out. What were the odds of them doing…anything? Besides the fact that gay people were getting more rights, interracial couples- even straight- were still an anomaly but gay one, talk about unmentionable.

 

“Earth to Zach’ry.” An amused voice said about a foot away.

 

Jumping slightly Zach eyes widened a bit at the deep amusement in Kymani’s eyes and managed to turn his embarrassment into a tease; “International Space Station to Kymani, contact received.”

 

“I’m done here,” Kymani nodded waving a folder at him, “Just need to drop som’thing off at my dorm and then I’m all yours.”

 

If there were any words in the dictionary that Zach would have wanted to be obliterated, ‘I’m all yours’ would have been it. The implications those words sent to his mind were just a little less than maddening.

 

“What’s the name of your dorm?” Zachary asked while pushing the door open and shivering at the instant warmth the outside provided.

 

“M’cGregor,” Kymani replied with a disparaging smile, “The reputed home of the lonely, an’ in solid tradition, I’ve fortunately managed to snag a single room.”

 

The Cajun stopped for a moment and faced the waterway that was a few feet away. Zachary stilled for a moment, drinking in the way the thin lock fluttered around Kymani’s face and the soft smile on his face. An absurd image of seeing that smile, sated, inches away from his after a round of sensuous sex, but he brushed it away as the same fear from before came up.

 

Zachary turned away for a moment, using his analytical skills to weigh his options. He might not get into a relationship with this man, but what was to stop them from being friends?

 

“Oh,” Zachary said as they started on the route to the dorm, down Memorial Drive feeling the cool wind from the Charles River flowing over them. Zachary stalled for a long moment, shooting a swift look at Kymani, “Um…cool…would you like to hang out or... grab some coffee sometime?”

Kymani titled his head and a small frown crinkled the middle of his eyebrows, “Excuse me?”

 

Instantly Zachary's pulse started to skyrocket, “It was just a- I just thought that since you’re new here, you'd like to know the place, you know, like where to go or not go, the place to get that life-saving cup of latte when you have to cram for that next morning quiz, and that-”at that moment Zach realized he was blabbing and instead of stopping he blurted, “- are you gay?”

 

Golden eyes widened and then a pronounced frown deepened Kimani's face which then morphed into anger. “What the hell? So you think the one black guy with the funny accent is automatically gay? I thought you were one of the good guys but now, it’s clear that you’re a just a bastard. You know what, Zach’ry, thanks a lot but fuck off.”

 

The moment Kymani turned away Zach shot out a hand to stop him. “No stop, shit, I'm sorry... It came out wrong... just wait a minute.”

 

Kymani turned around with anger and wariness clearly imprinted in his expressive eyes. Zach took a trembling breath and said, “I'm sorry but, damn it, the only reason I asked you because honestly...I saw your ear and-”

 

“What the hell does my ear have to with anything?” Kymani snapped his golden eyes now lit with hellfire, “Were you going to set the supremacist horde on me just because my ear is pierced?”

 

“No!” Zachary replied, flailing with trying to put his words in order to stop this conversation from going south on hell’s wheels. “That’s not it…It’s just- please don’t be mad. I just thought that's it’s the universal sign for a gay guy… another guy… like me.”

 

The angered look into Kimani's eyes mellowed to slight confusion then to realization, “You're…?”

 

“Yeah,” Zachary breathed a sigh of relief when Kymani didn't show him any adverse reaction, “I honestly wanted to ask you out just as friends but… since the horse has bolted… this sorry excuse for a gay guy wants to ask you out. Honestly, though I do want to be your friend if anything else; but if I got my signal wrong and freaked you out I'm s- um, why are you laughing?”

 

Soft, husky breathy laughs were coming from a mouth that Zachary surely wanted to kiss, his stranger status be damned. 

 

“Sorry excuse?” Kymani replied with an amused tilt to his lips, “In what world are you a sorry excuse, for anything?”

 

“You should hear me singing some time,” Zachary replied, feeling the tense tension between them fluttering away. He felt a little more confident and his hand closed a little tighter on Kymani's arm. “I’m sorry I freaked you out.”

 

“And I almost punched you in the face…” Kymani snorted while tilting his head so a slender lock fell over his left eye, “But… I think I’d like that.”

 

Though he'd been hoping for that answer Zachary's jaw still nearly dropped, “You're sure? 

 

At Kymani's affirming nod and a soft smile, a mirroring one crossed Zachary face,” Okay, great... I'll come over by six and we'll chill out at Peet’s Coffee that's okay with you?”

 

A quick flash of teeth, “Yes... you sorry excuse for a gay guy.”

 

Blue eyes glimmered then narrowed playfully, “Why do I suspect that those words are going to haunt me in the near future?”

 

Kymani grinned fully this time and shot Zachary an enigmatic look under half-mast eyes, “Wouldn't you want to know?”

 

Raking a hand through his hair Zachary attempted a smile, “So Macgregor huh?”

 

“Uh huh.” Kymani replied, spinning around to the direction of the dormitory, “You?”

 

“Oh,” Zach replied shoving his hands into his pockets while nodding to some returning schoolmates of his, “I’m off campus, at the 100 Landsdowne Apartments.”

 

“Hm,” Kymani replied as they strolled down the sidewalk; step by step, “You seem like an only kid, am I wrong?”

 

“Right in one,” Zachary replied as they neared the dorm, “I’m the typical single white kid from some bougie parents.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Zachary saw a golden eye flit to him, holding the same unspoken issue that been dogging him for a while; the disappointment that not being able to continue his family name with children.

 

“I know,” Zach sighed, resting a hand on the dorm’s entranced, “That. Can we not get into anything heavy just off the bat? I’d hate to open all the skeletons in my closet so early.”

 

“I understand,” Kyamni nodded slanting an appreciative look to him, “You’re an open guy Zach’ry… I like that about you.”

 

A warm sensation fluttered through Zach’s chest, “Well that one point in my favor… like I said, I’ll give you some time to settle in and then come by six.”

 

“What about the opening ceremony?” Kymani wondered, “Isn’t that important?”

 

Zach stepped aside to allow the person coming out to pass by, “It’s more recruiting for club x or club y than anything that’s really a welcome, trust me, you’re better off with me.”

 

Golden eyes met his in an assessing look, “I guess I’ll have to trust your judgment, six then.”

 

Nodding Zachary watched the object of his growing attachment walk away before he spun around and bumped right into Jason- a narrow-eyed Jason; who had clearly overheard him. For a split fear filled second Jason had gone static with panic that Jason had overheard him about his admission of being gay.

 

“Care to tell me what the hell that was about?” Jason glared, “You ditching me for him at six?”

 

“Just being nice to the new guy,” Zach shrugged nonchalantly, as his pulse started to calm down, “What’s your problem? It’s not like I was going to the opening ceremony anyway, I told you that, didn’t I?”

 

“Yeah, I heard you.” Jason said his tone a little bitter and his sweatshirt arms crossed over his chest, “But you’d rather spend the time with…that.”
 

Instantly Zachary got pissed off, mostly for Kymani’s sake than anything else, “Did you just hear yourself? The tone you said that in? Like that isn’t a human being? What is wrong with you Jason? Did our Catholic training about loving your neighbor as yourself go through one ear and out the other, huh? Why are you so bigoted?”

 

Jason’s blue eyes popped for a moment, “W-wh- I’m bigoted? I’m bigoted? Save the bullshit, you were no better Collins. We both used to pick on the Asian kids in prep school Zach, don’t you remember that? Don’t go flinging stones when you have your own glass house, Zachary.”

 

The young Collins grimaced at the memory of his twelve-year-old self shoving the big-eyed Indian nerd boy, Nitin or Nijin or something’s face in the dirt just because he could multiply big numbers in his head and spell long ass words.

 

“Only because they would shove their brilliance in our faces Jason,” Zachary snapped before he calmed down and pinched the bridge of his nose, “List Jason, I didn’t mean that okay, I… It’s just I want to be a good guy this time, I don’t want my karma from those years to bite me in the ass, okay.”

 

“So, your tyrna to fix it by being nice to the black kid?” Jason said in a slightly confused tone while squinting a little. Zach could see the wheels turning in his friends head, “Oh… I get it, you’re trying to find some charity case for the mentor program, huh, that’s smart dude.”

 

Zachary felt his molars grind but in order to keep face he barely managed a pained smile at Jason’s nearsighted assumption. Instead of giving a verbal confirmation, Zach nodded, “Look Jase, I’m gonna run home and clean up okay… I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 

“Probably,” Jason shrugged his wide football linebacker shoulders, “If you’re gonna be all tied up with that charity case of yours.”

 

It took some deep-seated strength to stop Zachary from showing his irritation, but he couldn’t throw away his best friend. By some divine intervention, his face didn’t betray his anger and stayed still. “I guess we’ll see then.”

 

Turning away, Zach cut through Danforth Street and made his way to his Nissan Hybrid parked at the Kresge Lot student parking. Unlocking the car Zach sank into the cool interior and after a moment, tilted his head back and eyes closed, “What the fuck am I doing?”

 

Behind his eyes, he saw the glimmer of the golden orbs and the small quirk of full lips that had drawn him in like a fish on a hook.

 

“His eyes…that’s why…” Zach nodded, keyed the car and drove off.

 

****

 

Zachary would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he was sweating a little under his t-shirt. It was a cool night on MIT campus and Zach had gone to his apartment to prepare for the something-date with Kymani with his head slightly spinning.

Leaning on the hood of his dark blue car and with his hands shoved into his pockets at the front of the Café, Zachary was still trying to control his nervousness. Dimly he heard the raucous shouts and carefree calls of the freshman march to Kresge Auditorium.

He had only snapped out of his deep concentration when Kymani rounded the corner and spotted him. Zachary swallowed liberally as Kymani's svelte form moved closer. His lithe body was dressed in a long-sleeved soft-looking forest green shirt and dark jeans shorts. His hair was pulled back into a sloppy ponytail and he had a thin hawthorn necklace with a tiny crystal pendant dangling from it.

A welcomed cool breeze ruffled Zach’s hair and he thanked all the powers that be that he had managed to get himself under control –however slightly.

They two didn’t utter a word to the other until Kymani was a foot away. Silently, Zach reached across, lightly took up the pendant and thumbed it. It was of an unusual shape, an oblong stone caged in an elegant thin silver cage which color shifted with the light, one moment blue then next green and hinted gold at times.

“This is unusual,” Zach said quietly, “What is it?”

“Tis a zirondelle,” Kimani replied just as quietly as his hand closed over Zach, “A dragonfly stone pendant… it belonged to my baby sister.”

Despite the tingles that had run through his skin at the touch, Zachary stilled for a moment, frowning a little at the soft sad intonation on the past tense, ‘belonged’. He glanced quickly up and saw soft sadness in dimmed hazel eyes, the tiny mottled green/brown near the irises darker than usual.

Their eyes met for about three seconds and Zach swore that the air between them had gone static as the look held. Jerking his head away, Zach dropped the pendant and laughed softly.

 “Nothing heavy just off the bat, right?” Zach murmured civilly and breathed in relief at Kymani’s nod, “…so how do you find the dorm?”

“Ehn,” Kymani shrugged, “Shoebox room with a single bed and a squeaky shower, not much to rave about.”

“I can imagine, so,” Zach said pushing the door to the coffee shop open, “I’m curious, I’ve never heard your name before, where’s it from?”

 

“Jamaica,” Kymani replied while wiping his feet on the welcome mat, “My dad was kind of obsessed with Bob Marley and his clan so he named me off one of his sons.”

 

Spying a table nearly at the back, Zach nodded to it indicating that was where he wanted them to sit, “Oh, reggae, is that why you have locks?”

 

“Nope,” Kymani shook his head and then lifted some of his hair away from his face to show a light scar line that was just under his hairline, “When I was seven I took a nasty fall and the stitches left a pretty bad scar. The locks are more camouflage than anything else.”
 

The first impulse Zach had was to ask him why he didn’t have it surgically removed but something in the back of his mind slapped him; not all people had the kind of money to shell out on plastic surgery, and besides the locks looked good on the other man.

 

“Oh, okay...um, do you want to order now?” Zachary asked, turning to the menu board, “They have cappuccino, macchiato, café au lait, espresso, lattes, iced, black…”

 

“Café Au Lait, please,” Kymani replied and rested a warm hand on Zachary’s bare arm and then nodded to the seat, “I’ll be over there, okay.”

 

The heat from that simple touch warmed Zachary’s chest in a way that shouldn’t be natural. He twisted his head and saw Kymani’s soft smile and that only compounded the emotions in his chest, “Yeah sure.”

 

Turning back to the cashier who flicked decidedly curious eyes at the dreadlocked man and back to him but didn’t say a word; Zachary placed their order, the café for Kymani and the espresso for him.

 

Barring the middle-aged gentleman sitting at the side with an oversized cup of joe and a doing the crossword in a newspaper, the coffee shop was basically empty and his order was ready in a few minutes. Carrying the beverages to the table Zach handed Kymani’s his and sat.

 

Sticking a plastic spoon into his drink Zach’s eyes caught the thin silver band around his wrist; the making of it was a thin twist of silver that matched the pendant cage. Although he wanted to know, Zach stuck to his own rule about not getting into anything heavy. He was about to ask a generic question when Kymani overruled him with a question that almost gave Zach an aneurysm.

 

“What do you want from me?” Kymani asked blandly, “Sex?”

 

The mouthful of the hot drink that Zachary was about to swallow almost spewed out of his mouth when his shock hit him like a boulder ball to his head. Instead, he swallowed it the wrong way and spent the next thirty seconds almost hacking up his lungs.

 

“W-what no!” Zachary spluttered when finally got himself under control after beating his chest into submission, “Why would you think that?”

 

“Come on,” Kymani sighed fiddling with the edge of the placemat, “What would a guy like you want with someone like me? You’re obviously rich, smart and can do way better than a scholarship student from the suburbs of New Orleans.”

 

Zachary pressed a napkin to his mouth for a moment, “…Do you really want to know why?”

 

“It’d help.” Kymani murmured.

 

“At first I didn’t know… I just saw you looking lost and I wanted to help, but then… I was your eyes,” Zach replied, “Your gorgeous eyes are what sealed the deal for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m stupidly attracted to you in other ways but it all came from your eyes.”

 

A small crinkle furrowed Kymani’s brows, “You’re serious.”

 

“Like a judge,” Zach replied placing his forearms on the small table and leaning forward. “When you got angry they seemed lit with hell’s fire and I literally feared for my life.”

 

“Feared for your life… really now?” Kymani drawled.

 

Zach tilted his head to give the image of deep contemplation, “By life I mean my balls…which is basically the same thing.”

 

A half snort and half laugh issued from the Cajun and Zachary saw pure amusement on his face, “You really are a straightforward guy.”

 

“…I meant it you know,” Zach said quietly, “I really am attracted to you.”

 

A small smile crossed Kymani’s face, “Same here… but I can hear my mama’s voice in the back of my head sayin’, ‘not again’.”

 

Now Zach was getting curious, “Huh?”

 

“The very first crush I had was on a white boy, about a few months older than me. I was fifteen and one day we were “studying”,” Here Kymani broke to make the quote marks, “In my room when my almost psychic mother just came into my room just as he was kissing me.”

 

“What did she do?” Zach asked.

 

“Rolled her eyes and muttered som’thing about me and white boys leveled Kyle with a narrow-eyed look and threatened to use his innards to strangle him if he hurt me.” Kymani shrugged, “My mama knew that I was… different from the day I was born. I didn’t do anything girly, in fact, I played soccer and tennis till I was sixteen but I just wasn’t drawn to girls that much…especially after my sister died.”

 

“I thought we weren’t getting into anything heavy.” Zach reminded quietly.

 

“I think that’s out the window by now, eh?” Kymani replied brushing a lock behind an ear, “When I was six my mama gave birth to my baby sister Lilian- I have two older siblings fraternal twins, Renee and Remy by the way. A few months after Lilie was born we found that she had a hole in her heart. The doctors patched it but… she couldn’t run or skip or do anything strenuous without breathing hard. She beat the odds by living ‘til she was six...but died in her sleep.”

 

Zach managed a commiserating smile, “At least she went peacefully.”

 

Golden eyes shot a swift look up, “Yes…the pendant was hers, and the chain on my wrist was the necklace for it… it’s just… I loved her with my whole heart and didn’t want to just let her life slip into the back of my mind like some unwanted memory.”

 

“I’d like to think that is what any good brother would do,” Zach said quietly. “I’d done the same if I had any siblings or a large family like yours.”

 

Kymani’s nose crinkled, “Trust me, you do not want a large family like mine with the hermit uncles, eccentric aunts and bebette and peeshwank cousins.”

 

“Um,” Zachary smiled, “I’m assuming those aren’t good terms but I’m still going to need some clarification here,”

 

The two spent a good half of the night in the coffee shop, talking about family, friends, likes and dislikes and projected careers. It was after closing time, nine when Zach walked Kymani back to his dorm, and their arms were so close that they brushed.

 

The gate of the dorm, a hulking dark mass only pinpointed with tiny lights from rooms above, was where Zach left the enchanting young man that was slowly claiming his place in Zach’s mind. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

 

“Yes...” Kymani replied,

“Good night then. See you at school.” Zach said turning away but felt his arm being grabbed. He turned to feel a press of soft but firm lips to his. Zachary felt his body run ice cold and then volcanic hot as he felt Kymain’s lips on his.

He couldn’t move when the other man stepped back eyes averted. A quick flick of his tongue over his lips and Zach felt the lingering taste of the coffee Kymani had drunk.

“That’s not fair,” Zach whispered to the lips an inch away from his after they had parted from the chaste kiss.

“Are you complaining?” Kimani returned slyly.

Zach couldn’t answer for the life of him and his silence only enhanced Kymani’s amusement “…Good night, Zach’ry.” The smirking Cajun said while slipping inside.

Zachary stood there, on the empty sidewalk, absently feeling the cold air chilling his skin but was more focused on the warm lips that had just kissed his, he shook his head and walked away with a wry grin, “Good night Kymani.”

*****

It was something close to a miracle how Zachary managed to concentrate in his
Electromagnetic and Applications class. To be fair, most first week classes were just going over the syllabus and making sure that the dates for submitting papers, doing labs, tests, and midterms were sealed in stone.

Unknown to him, his foot was tapping an anxious tattoo under the desk and his eyes kept flying to the cell-phone next to his arm on the clinical metal table.

‘Fifty-five…fifty-seven…fifty-nine...sixty!’  Just as the class was about to end, the TA called out saying that he had skipped over some information and they needed to stay back for a few minutes.

Those five minutes and forty-five seconds seemed like the longest moments of Zach’s life and the second they were allowed to go, he was out the class and halfway across the building when he checked his speed. The urge to see his, and here Zach hesitated even think ‘boyfriend’, was pressing on him so strongly that it was a deep set pain.

He was rushing to the Shwarama Shack at the Stratton and as just as he was about to cross Massachusetts Ave, his name was bellowed over the thirty feet between him and the building he had just come out of- from no other than Jason.

“Zach!”

 “Crap.” Zach groaned and rolled his eyes in exasperation, “I can’t get a break can I?”

Shifting on his feet Zach managed to put a smile on his face, as Jason jogged up to him.

“Hey man,” Jason said easily hiking his book bag over his plain green Oxford and facing him with a grin, “I’ve been trying to get to you all last night, dude. I managed to get us a date with these two French chicks that were all over me at KickOff. You better get your game on cause you know what they say about French chicks, they’re frea-key.”

Zach shifted a bit agitatedly on his feet, “Um, that’s cool but I…can’t.”

Jason’s eyes practically bugged out of his head, “You can’t? What the hell do you mean you can’t? Did you not hear what I said, two smoking hot French chicks as ready to do us, man.”

The hand that was closed around his books tightened a little, “I really can’t Jase…I’m just-” ‘not interested’- “tied up with… stuff.”

“It’s the first day of the goddamn year Zach,” Jason scoffed, as his eyes narrowed with suspicion, “What the hell could be tying you u-oh, the charity case huh.”

Oh, how Zach wanted to punch his friend in the face while screaming that the charity case was about to be his boyfriend- but he didn’t, couldn’t.

“Something like that…yeah.” Zach murmured quietly. “I’ve really got to go Jase, and I probably won’t be around much for the near future either.”

“Whatever,” Jason snorted, “Just do what you have to do Zach, I’ll see you...y’know… whenever.”

“And I’m sure you can handle two chicks by yourself,” Zach offered in compensation while turning away.

He acutely felt Jason’s eyes on the middle of his back but couldn’t turn back to satisfy his friend’s curiosity. He crossed the road with his pulse steadily kicking up. The moment he entered the eatery he saw Kymani sitting in a corner booth, a glass of water and a stack of books beside it.

The young man hair was mostly loose but a part was braided back from his face. There was a soft frown in the middle of his brows that looked absurdly cute to Zach. The moment he approached Kymani, not even looking up, scooted further into the corner and allowed Zach to slip into the seat.

“Hey you,” Zach said softly nudging the book a bit, “Isn’t it a bit early to get all swamped with work,”

A soft sigh slithered from open lips as the other engineering student closed the text and set it down, “Sorry, it’s just I’ve always been this proactive kind of person and I’m new here, I just want to get my head in the game.”

Zach reached over and spun the book towards him, “Hey, you’re taking Engineering Computation and Data Science, I can help you with that.”

 

Kymani snorted and took the book away, “I suspect that ‘help’ is going to end up with us doing everything else but studying.”

 

Smirking at the chance to turn the Cajun’s words back at him Zach grinned, “Are you complaining?”

 

The pads of two fingers pushed themselves into Zach’s forehead, “Stop being fresh. So what’s good here?”

 

“Well, its Middle Eastern food and they’re kinda heavy on the spices,” Zach replied as Kymani took one of the menus up, “But I suspect that’s not a problem for you… I always go for the kababs.”

 

It was either his residual fear of being found out or some kind of hypersensitivity, but Zach felt eyes on him and the hairs on the back of his neck lifted a little. Twisting a little on the seat he spotted a brunette across the dining hall with notepad and a textbook before her. She was scribbling on the pad-noted most likely- but her eyes would dart up to look at them periodically.

 

Wary at the way she was watching them Zach was about to give her a narrow-eyed glare when her eyes met his and she gifted him with a beautiful smile, her eyes shifted between him and Kymani and gave an approving nod.

 

Tuning back to Kymani who was pursuing the menu with the tip of his tongue slightly clamped between his lips-lips that Zach really wanted to explore, he gave another mental groan and sighed; he really just couldn’t get a break.

 

“How about this…” Kymani said pointing to a dish, “Chicken shwarama with veggies and rice with the chicken, yogurt and taziki sauce?”

 

“Hm,” Zach leaned over and looking at the picture, “That’s a big meal for one.”

 

“That’s why you are going to share it with me,” Kymani pronounced, “…you are, aren’t you?”

 

Taking a look at the slightly apprehensive amber eyes Zach nudged him, “Nothing would please me more.”

 

****

 

Slightly annoyed Zach swiped Jason’s fifth call for the night to ‘reject’. How was it that Jason couldn’t get a clue after four rejected calls.

 

“You do know that you’re gonna to have to answer him eventually,” Kymani said, breaking the soft silence in the library while highlighting another section in his textbook. Three weeks into the semester he and Zach were spending basically every moment they had with each other, which pushed Jason on the sidelines.

 

“He’s probably calling you for somethin’ important and he’s not gonna play nice forever.”

 

“The words important and Jason are axiomatic strangers.” Zachary ran a palm over his face, “He’s probably calling me to hang out somewhere or be his wingman for the night. Doesn’t he know that I have other, better things to do.”

 

Kymani eyed him, “Helping me out is one thing but you can’t give up on your friends just for little ol’ me.

 

“Little ol’ you gives me a lot more than big ol’ Jason,” Zach shrugged, “I just can’t get through to him sometimes.”

 

Closing a file Kymani leaned back on Zach’s chest, “He still needs you though, so little ol’ me is ordering you to see him, Zachr’y.”

 

Huffing a little Zach buried his nose in Kymani’s hair, “Sure but…”

 

“But what?”

 

Strong hands grabbed Kymani and pulled him to sit sideways right unto Zach’s lap as one hand went right under the back of the young Cajun’s shirt and started stroking the tight skin there, “Kiss me,”

 

Kymani balked, “We’re in public,”

 

“It’s a free country,” Zach replied, leaning in, “Besides, it just us, Hibbler, Hicks, and Gordon in this empty place.”

 

A soft playful scowl played over Kymani’s face, “I don’t appreciate you callin’ other men’s names while I’m on your lap…even though they’re the authors of the text we’re studying.”

 

“Then do something about it.” Zach teased.

 

Twisting his torso, Kymani pressed a kiss to Zach’s mouth and a small smoldering spark was kindled in the electric engineer’s body. In a moment, that smoldering spark grew to fire and lust was racing through Zach’s veins like liquid lava. The scorching kiss burned down to his toes and his hands were on Kymani’s lower back kneading the muscles there.

“Fuckin’ faggots.” A passing guy darkly snarled and those two words were like a bucket of arctic water being dumped over their heads.

Pissed, Zach yanked his head back and looked to see who had spoken and saw a scowling man, in his late twenties or so sneering at them. A few choice words came to him but with a glance at the anxious eyes before him, he turned away, pressed his forehead to Kymani and whispered, “Ignore him.”

Swallowing tightly Kymani disentangled himself from Zach’s arms and shot him a soft look, “Go see Jason, now, I’m okay here.”

Even though Zachary doubted it and his worry was plain on his face, Zach knew that he couldn’t be overbearing and override Kymani’s wishes. The only thing he could do was hope that his boyfriend- and he now had the right to call him that- could take care of himself.

“You’re sure.”

Nodding Kymani said, “I’m sure now go… sha.”

A small flutter of warm emotion that Zachary didn’t dare think was love ran through his chest at the small endearment. “Okay, call me if you need me,”

At Kymani’s nod, Zach grabbed his bookbag, books, and cellphone and left, skipping down the steps of the library while dialing Jason.

“So you’re alive,” Jason said his tone decidedly snide. “I guess I should call off the police search for your body,”

“Oh for God’s sake stop being so goddamn melodramatic,” Zach huffed, “I didn’t call you for two hours, in case you don’t remember, I have a life,”

“Yeah, catering to the charity case,” Jason replied in a strangled tone, “But whatever, me, Lance, Ricky, and Jordan are hanging out at the House.”

Zach rolled his eyes; leave it to Jason to be at back at the Phi Sigma Kappa Frat- his frat-house in the middle of the day. Granted the comp science student’s classes had ended from about ten but any responsible student might have used that time to study. Then again… this was Jason he was talking about, jock Jason who only went to college for college sake. The man had his future already set for him and this was just some time for him to ‘get ready’ for adulthood.

“I’ll be there,” Zach sighed.

****

The trip fifteen minute trip past Stratton Center, Kresge Auditorium and the walk south on Mass. Ave; and into Kenmore Sq, ended with Zach being dragged into the frat house and a cup or alcohol being pushed into his hand.

“Collins,” The head of the chapter, a big brute of a guy named Dominic said, “Good to see you…it’s been a year but I’m still looking for your name on our pledge list.”

“And you’ll keep looking;” Zach smiled easily, “Living with a bunch of guys just isn’t my thing.”

Dominic threw back his crew-cut head and laughed, a deep baritone that was just a tad unsettling for Zach, “All for the females, huh, can’t blame you,”

Females, yeah; he could believe that if he wanted. Nodding, Zach followed his directions and went to the backyard where Jason, Lance, Richard, and Brandon were horsing around, playing touch football on the green.

“He’s alive!” Richard, a twenty-two-year-old classmate of his who had the same stocky build as Jason grinned and jogged up to him, “Good to see you, man.”

“Just been busy,” Zach shrugged his shoulders under his thin crosshatched Henley. “School and my job are taking all my time, y’know.”

“Oh please,” Jason derided suddenly materializing by his side, “You tutor like once a week, how the hell is that a job?”

Zach’s left eye twitched, “It’s three nights a week Jason, get your facts straight and stop thinking with your dick.”

“Oh,” Brandon called out ushering them to the wide back porch and the scattered lounge chairs there, “Speaking of… I think it’s time for a roll call.”

“Roll call?” Needless to say, Zach was mystified while sitting in one and feeling the soft evening breeze ruffle his hair.

“Yeah,” Ricky, replied, “Roll call for all the chicks we banged over the summer.”

Instantly, Zach felt sick but knew it was better for him to play along. He did take out his phone and set it on the arm of the chair, glancing at it periodically for any text from Kymani.

Zach sat, admittedly uncomfortable, hearing the vivid recounts of the sexual encounters of his friends; from single encounters to a couple twosomes and to the single threesome. He heard about how well girl ‘a’ sucked guy ‘b’s’ cock or how girls ‘c’ and ‘d’, made out while guy ‘e’ took turns with them. Reaching for the bottle of booze Zach acerbically thought he was trapped in a twisted Games of Thrones episode.

His stomach was feeling queasy and he was looking for any reason to escape when the searchlights were turned on him.

“None,” Zach shrugged, “I didn’t do anyone on break.”

It seemed like an atomic bomb had just exploded in the middle of the yard and rendered the other four boys speechless.

“What?” Zach asked flicking his eyes at the group.

Brandon was the first to recover, “Stop lying dude, Jason already told me that you went to Brazil for the summer so ‘fess up. Was she hot or what?”

“There was no she,” Zach stressed.

Richard’s face twisted into something like he was smelling something foul, “Are you telling us there was a… guy?”

There it was; the golden god-given opportunity to come out and tell them the truth about him…about who he was- but he didn’t. Shamefully, Zach caved, hunched over in his seat and framed his face, “Fine, ugh, god, there was one girl Luc-y, but we didn’t do much… she only sucked me off, okay.”

Jason’s thick hand slapped on Zach’s back jerking the breath out of his lungs, “My man! Good for you dude.”

Shame and disappointment curled in Zach’s chest and for the rest of the forty-six minutes that they chatted and bragged he sat there, silently hating himself.   The moment the group broke up Zach said goodbye to them and as he was about to leave Jason’s shouted, “Say hi to your charity case for me.”

Brandon leveled his forest green eyes to Zach, “Charity case?”

Fuck. “It’s just this new guy I’m helping out,” Zach said with a nonchalant shrug, “It’s nothing.”

“Aw don’t say that,” Jason interrupted once more, “It’s this black kid from the backwater swamp that’s he using as his ticket to the mentoring program, you know, getting good with the profs.”

“Is that true?” Brandon asked while staking up the empty cups.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place Zach muttered, “Yes,”

“Damn it…” Richard huffed to himself, “I should have thought of that, thanks for the idea, Zach.”

Zach barely met Jason’s smug face and dryly drawled, “Thanks a lot Jase, I knew I could count on you to keep something confidential.”

Maintaining his calm Zach walked bade his goodbyes to everyone else and walked back the campus proper in the darkening dusk with shameful steps. Just as he approached his car, his phone rang, a small smile crossed his face; it was Kymani.

“Hi you,” he said a bit glumly while unlocking the car,

“…Okay, what happened?” Kymani asked.

Sinking into the interior Zach sighed, “Nothing much, just the guys shooting the shit.”

“…You sound like you need some comfort food to me,” Kymani replied, “Want to go out tonight?”

The suggestion was tempting but Zach had absolutely no vibe to do so, “Actually, I think I’d just stay in.”

“You don’t sound right Zach,” Kymani stressed, “I bet my mémère’s gumbo would change that tune of yours.”

“Make it for me then.” Zach replied while gunning the car alive, “Where are you, let me get you and we’ll go get all you need,”

“I’m in my dormroom,” Kymani replied, “You helped me out last night; this is me repaying the favor.”

*****

The Whole Foods Market at Prospect was a bit busier than normal with an influx of high school cheerleader coming back from competition and from the decimal level, Zachary inferred that they had won.

Grabbing a cart Zach looked over, “So what do we need?”

Kymani shook his head and placed his hand on Zach’s arm, “If I start listing the list of ingredients we’ll be standing her to judgment day. Let’s just go through the aisles and pick up what we need okay?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Zach saw a nearby employee’s face twist like curdled milk. Not having the strength to do anything about it, Zach just pushed the cart off to the spice aisle. Kymani was walking before him and Zach had no problem appreciating the smooth movement of his boyfriend’s body. The young Cajun was clad in his go-to faded denim shorts and a fitted t-shirt with his hair banded back by a forest green bandana.

“Okay so… paprika, black pepper and salt, oregano…”

Zach propped his left foot on the undercarriage and his forearms on the handle and allowed a small smile to cross his face. It wasn’t only the psychical aspect of Kymani that Zach liked, it was the mentality behind the face too. In the past few weeks, Zach had come to know that the Lautibeaudaire was not only sexy but smart too. Kymani was a multifaceted as the gem he wore on his chest.

When they spoke, Kymani would always have something to contribute to the conversation. When they debated, his smart answers would give Zach another perspective to look at and his snide quips never failed to make Zach laugh. He had come to know that though the boy was eclectic, he had stayed by himself for most of his teenage life and didn’t socialize much.

Zach knew the nights when Kymani would stay up studying until almost dawn, a fact that was evident by the dark circles under his eyes. Zach knew Kymani’s ups and downs, like when he was buoyant after a call from his mother or his grief when Kymani would absently reach and fingers his dead sister’s pendant while studying.

Zach had come to love that Kymani was as vibrant as the culture he came from, not loud, but possessed the ‘notice me’ look by his clothes, his accent, and his attitude. He was an open book as his expressive eyes would shimmer with amusement, glimmer with annoyance and blaze with anger. Zach had come to realize that it took a lot to get to Kymani but when it did the Cajun wasn’t one to hold back.

On the other hand, Kymani had a heart of gold too; a fact Zach had learned when they had gone to the University Park Commons three days ago.

They had spread blanket in a secluded area of the park just to relax and found a shaded grove. Zach’s back was to a sturdy tree behind him, Kymani was between his legs, and his head was resting in the crook of Zach’s shoulder.

They absently spoke, their conversation meandering about their days classwork, new friends and all between. It was a quiet and peaceful stitch in time where Zach was reveling in the body against his, the warmth of his skin and the clean scent of his hair tickling his nose.

If it had been up to Zach he would have stayed that way forever, but, sadly, it hadn’t lasted. In the middle of Zach’s question about his latest lab, a chocking caught was heard and Kymani’s head had darted up. His eyes scanned the nearby foliage and when the sound came up again, sounding like a young child, Kymani had darted up and into the nearby bushes.

Zach had stood up in alarm too just as Kymani came out, tenderly holding a young girl, not more than five years old, in his arms. Rushing to the two, Zach was about to say something when Kymani, not even looking at him, sat down and used the end of his shirt to wipe the tear-stained cheeks.

“Shh, Bebelle, shh.” Kymani hushed softly, “It’s okay…where’s your mama, darlin’?”

Zach took a step back, knowing that he was nothing more than an afterthought to Kymani now. With hitching words, the small girl told them that she had run off, chasing some butterfly or something but got lost and had been wandering around for long while.

Zach was already poised to carry the little girl to the police but Kymani had other ideas. He lifted the child up and started to walk with her, all around the park, and around it once more. Zach, even with his own objections, hadn’t done a thing but grab the blanket and his keys and followed them.

Fifty-something minutes in they still hadn’t found the mother and Zach drove them to the nearest police station where the cops set out to find the child’s parents. There Kymani didn’t relinquish the child until near midnight when the frantic mother, Mrs. Worthington had rushed into the room who, after searching the park had scoured the outsides of the park believing that her child had walked away.

Exhausted but glad that the child had been returned, Zach had accompanied a fatigued Kymani to his dorm. Inside, he had helped his boyfriend undress and even though his hands had trailed over tight abs and warm skin, Zach had only dressed him, softly kiss him goodnight and went to his apartment knowing that he was falling.

Now looking at the other who had that adorable crinkle in his forehead while scanning the spices, Zach moved off, wrapped an arm around his shoulders, bent down and kissed him, in the middle of the aisle, not giving a damn who saw.

Holding the spices Kymani reacted like he was electrocuted, shifted away and glared hard, “Pour l’amour de Dieu, arête ca! Are you possessed Zachr’y? Stop it!  ”

“Oh come on,” Zachary shrugged, “No need to get God into this. So what if I want to kiss you in public, you need to live a little.”

Kymani poked him in the chest, “You can go live a little, over there in the frozen food aisle since clearly, you need to cool off.”

Feeling mischievous, Zachary kissed him even harder and didn’t move when Kymani’s fist struck his chest, he did when soft snickers behind him were heard. Pulling back he pressed a closed kiss to Kymani’s whose eyes were glowing with anger and embarrassment and turned to see two cheerleaders snickering behind their hands at them before skittering out of the aisle.

Low Cajun curses were being muttered under a husky breath a mere foot away, paired with heated glances and a small a tilt of lips and Zach realized, there was no falling, he was in love.

*****

“Ugh.” Zach groaned as his head fell back, “I don’t think I’ve been that full in my life.”

The small kitchen of Zach’s apartment was filled with the aromatic spices from Kymani’s grandmother’s gumbo. Under the cover of his lids, Zach watched Kymani smirk, gather the empty bowls and took them to the sink.

The two were at Zach’s apartment, about seven in the night and Zach felt that he didn’t want to be alone.

Getting up he crossed the room and wrapped his arm around Kymani’s waist and pressed his lips to the back of his neck, “Stay with me tonight?”

Kymani’s head twisted and a soft apprehension was in his eyes while rinsing the suds off his hand, “Isn’t that a bit…soon.”

Pressing his lips on Kymani’s cheek, “It’s not sex Kymani, I just want to be with you, hold you and I just want you here,” ‘and probably for a long time’, Zach mentally added, “I just want us to be close, do you want to go?”

 “Alohrs pas,”  Kymani said while shaking his head.

“Then stay, please.”

Spinning in his arms Kymani pressed a soft kiss to his mouth, “I’d love that.”

Breathing in relief, “I’ll get you some PJ’s okay.”

Moving to his bedroom Zach took out a pair of loose chequered pants and a loose t-shirt. When Kymani appeared at the doorway Zach pressed them into his hands, “The bathroom is over there.”

Smiling slightly Kymani took the clothes and walked off as Zach sank to the edge of his bed, breathing a little heavy with anxiety crawling through his veins. When Kymani appeared dressed in the clothed Zach had given him a soft sigh of appreciation left the blond. It was totally cliché but it felt good to see his boyfriend in his clothes.

 “Come here,” Zach reached out and pulled his hesitating boyfriend in with soft preamble.

With Kymani’s knees on the edge of the bed, Zach tilted his head to allow a rough tongue to thoroughly plunder into his mouth but in the next second, Zachary was kissing him. Mocha fingers clutched at thick blond locks and hauled him closer, shivering when the wet muscle ran over a sensitive palate.

Burning palms slipped under the loose t-shirt to settle on narrow hips. The heat driven by those hands made Zachary half delirious. He bit down slightly on Kymani’s full lip and the guttery groan he received went straight to his groin. Soft heated breaths were on his lips and the pupils of the golden eyes an inch away from his were blown wide.

There in the silence of the room, Zachary realized he was in love with this man. Pulling Kymani to himself, Zach pressed his lips to Kymani’s forehead, “I’ve got to admit something…Kymani…”

Golden eyes flitted up with soft apprehension Zach sighed despondently, “You know how you think I’m this kind of straightforward person…well I’m coward Kymani. Today the guys were all talking about how many girls they fucked and I…just couldn’t tell them about me…about us. I know we haven’t done anything but… I punked out Kymani, I’m not the person you think I am.”

Eyes closed Zach’s was bracing himself for rejection when soft lips pressed on his, not in a kiss but just to intimately speak, “It’s okay Zachr’y, I understand. They’re your friends’, people you’ve been with for a good while. It’s not like you can just drop this bombshell on them and they’ll be okay with it, so I understand.”

Zach’s blue eyes flit open in wonder and amazement at the wonderful man in his arms. Reaching up he brushed back the locks from Kymani’s face and framed his cheek, “You’re too good for me you know that,”

“Of course I know that,” Kymani smirked, “I’m just doing my service to humanity by being with you.”

His lips lifted and a small laugh came from Zach, “Thank you, you’re so gracious.”

“So how about that-” Kyamni yawned deeply in Zach’s shoulder, “You said something about holding me and sleep?

Pulling his close, Zach tucked the warm body into his feeling Kymani’s searching eyes on him. With those golden orbs inches away from his Zach made sure to project sincerity and adoration.

Slipping one leg between Kymani’s, Zach rested his hand on Kymani’s lower back and nuzzled into him, inhaling Kymani’s signature smell of soft spice, “I’m not going anywhere, go to sleep.”

*****

From that first day where Kymani had cooked for Zach, eleven days ago, Kymani was now a regular at Zach’s apartment.

During that eleven days and knowing that he was in love with Kymani, Zach made sure to actually made an effort to ‘court’ Kymani, despite the fact the Cajun continuous complaint that he wasn’t some ‘southern belle’. Taking advantage of his ‘charity case’, Zach used it to avoid Jason as much as he could in favor of being with Kymani.

He had taken him on the generic dinner-and-movie date, a walk through the Boston National Historic Park and a cotton candy, release-the-kid-inside run of the Boston Harbor Inland NPA.

One Friday night Zach had shown up at Kymani’s dorm armed with a bottle of Jack and while taking the bottle from him Kymani had playfully quipped, “You only want to get me out of my drawz,”, Zach had grinned, “You don’t know how much.”.  The cherry on the top of the courting cake was when he had taken them on the Harbor City Lights Yacht Cruise.

The Thursday night had been chilly and Zach had no problem playing walking space heater to his boyfriend. With his arm around the slightly shivering Cajun, Zach the boarded the New England Aquarium and walked them to the deck just as the nine-thirty cruise began.

The open-top deck was sparsely occupied as the majority of the patrons were inside the cabin’s dining’s room. The cool night and sea air was no problem to Zach who had grown up in the Boston weather but Kymani wasn’t. Shrugging his jacket off, draping it over the shivering southerner and pulling him into his arms, they stood at the rail looking over the dark water at the lights making the iconic building glisten.

As the night deepened and the cold increased, Kymani had snuggled into Zach’s hold while staring out, entranced, at the shimmering night scene. When the one hour trip had passed and they were back on the wharf, Kymani had turned to him with soft and clear love in his eyes, had wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him softly.

“Byen merci,” He had whispered in his ear.

Zach had pressed his forehead against Kymani’s and stared into his eyes and he felt submerged in the gold orbs, “You’re worth it,”

It was nearing midterms now and they were studying in Zach’s room at about after nine. The days that passed had been filled with strong arousal and whenever they kissed it got harder and harder to stop from going all the way.

Kymani was laying on the bed and Zach was at the midsized table in his room with a stack of books before him. Blue eyes kept flitting up at the body on his bed as half his head was on his work and the other half on the lithe body on his bed.

Apparently, Zach’s ‘covert’ glances had gotten noticed and not moving his eyes from his work Kymani asked, “Did you finish your report?”

“Hardly,” Zach sighed dropping his pen, “Do you really expect me to concentrate when you're all of a foot and a half away from me?”

“Well, you should,” Kymani replied while braced on his elbows and scribbling on his pad. Laying on his belly, his legs lifted up and crossed into the air.

Zachary looked over his shoulder at the svelte profile of his boyfriend, clad in a simple black tank and jeans shorts with the ends of his hair tickling his shoulders. Slightly entranced, Zachary's blue eyes slowly traced down the dip of Kymani spine to the arch of his backside.

 

“I can feel you watching me, you know,” Kymani said evenly.

“Can you blame me?” Zach grinned while slowly getting off from his chair before crossing the small space and approaching the bed. There he paused to stretch his arms above his head until he heard his shoulder crack. He was just about to pull his shirt down after it had ridden up when Kymani glanced his way.

Kymani gold eyes flicked to him but then went back to his book.

Smirking Zach propped a knee on the mattress and slowly crawled over boyfriend, placed his forearms on each side of the Kymani’s body, lowered himself on his boyfriends back and then pressed his lips at the side of Kymani's neck, “Wanna take a break,” 

His silent answer was a soft roll of Kymani's hips and the press of a taught backside on his groin made Zach's arousal skyrocket. He pressed his growing arousal on the firm mounds and heat laced up his spine. 

The moment Kymani twisted his head around Zach met his lips and kissed him. A low moan came from the man under him and Zach lifted enough to allow Kymani to twist under him. 

The moment he did warm arms wrapped Zachary's head and the kiss deepened. Slightly calloused fingers dug into Zach's hair and pressed his head deeper. Their lower halves pressed on the other and matching growing erections met each other. 

 

Soft and slow evaporated into thin air and soon enough both were rock hard and grinding on each other. Zach pulled away and pressed his bitten lips against Kymani’s ear while his hips still bucked, “God, I want you.”

 

Kymani’s head canted to the side, baring his neck while his mouth fell open and needy while came from the depths of his throat, “Merde,”

 

Zachary's fingers caught under Kymani's chin, prodding him to look upwards only to feel Kymani twist his head and kiss him full on the mouth. Presently he pulled away from Kymani’s kiss, and Zachary blinked slowly, still unsure. He wanted so much to press his lips back there, to have Kymani kiss back and tell him he wanted him the way Zachary did but something in his hazel eyes seemed to tell a different story.

“I'm sorry,” he muttered, slowly moving away. “I was too forceful, I'll-”

“Zach’ry, no,” Kymani panted, his hand gripping a fistful of the front of the other's shirt stopping him from turning away. “It’s okay… please kiss me again.”

Trembling at the chance given to him Zach only wanted to grab it,“You’re sure?”

Kymani nodded so Zachary did, and Kymani responded with both hands rising to Zachary's neck, keeping him there like some kind of lifeline. Zachary mirrored his actions with similar need as his tongue snaked out against Kymani's bottom lip.

Instinctively, Kymani let his lips part and his own tongue greeted Zachary's, deepening the kiss as his hips pressed into the other man’s. Zachary took command of the kiss, and Kymani was happy to surrender, longer fingers flexing against the man's neck as Zachary pressed the slender man deeper into the bed.

His knee moved between Kymani's to feel the warm and hardening length against his skin. Zachary used one hand to brace on the bed at Kymani’s side, while the other moved upwards along his clothed ribcage, over his shoulder, and up his neck to lace through his hair. The blunt fingertips scratching across his scalp made the Cajun’s gasp against Zachary's mouth, and he closed his teeth around Zachary’s swollen bottom lip, tugging at it.

The action sent a jolt of stimulation throughout the blonds’ body, pooling heat in his groin, which was now straining hard against the front of his trousers and the clothed body he had pressed into the bed. Kymani had been quick to reach a similar state of arousal, and bumped his hips forward into Zachary's deliberately, relishing the confined friction.

Grabbing a handful of Kymani's shirt and tugging it free of his belt and with slightly fumbling fingers Zach placed his hand flat against the warmth of Kymani's belly, unable to wait until the shirt was entirely off to feel his boyfriend’s skin.

Kymani gave a shuddering breath against Zachary’s lips between a kiss, wanting that hand lower, higher, everywhere on him. Lips still attached Zachary went back to undressing him, moving to undo all the buttons and clasps to get him naked.

Zachary's lips finally left the others to trace down to Kymani’s beautiful jaw, kissing along the length of it. With a few tugs, the cloth was off and fluttering to the floor. Zachary leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Kymani's shoulder, then his clavicle. He felt relief and a sudden wave of emotion ripple through him and allowed his hand free reign to slip from Kymani’s neck, slowly down his front, sensing the definition of muscles.

A soft gasp came as Kymani writhed at the subtle scrape of teeth against his neck as Zachary continued to kiss there. Zachary's mouth curled into a satisfied smile against his skin as he moved lower and tugged at his belt. Kymani jerked and the thud of books falling to the ground echoed in the air but neither cared.

Zachary needed no further encouragement, and unbuckled Kymani's belt, pulling it free from the belt loops with one quick tug. Next, he unbuttoned the man's shorts and reached for his zipper, pulling it down and pushing the fabric away from the man's hips, the material kept from sliding further as Kymani was panting under him

The dusky blonde pressed a thumb along one of Kymani's hip bones, and the man actually bucked beneath him, gasping out into the kiss and gripping taunt Zachary's biceps. Grinning, Zachary repeated the action on the other hip and received a similar response, which made him kiss Kymani even harder.

Wanting to not be passive, Kymani’s slender hands found the other's belt and unhooked it with less ease than Zachary had, but managed to get it unbuckled without breaking the kiss. He could feel the heat radiating from within as he unbuttoned and unzipped the front of Zachary's trousers.

All he wanted to do at that moment was slip his hand downwards and feel the bulge that had been pressing against him as they kissed, but even with Zachary pressed up against him, kissing him feverishly, nervously, he couldn't bring himself to.

“D'you want to go all the way?” Zachary murmured against Kymani's lips.  “We’ve stopped before and we can stop now.”

“Not this time,” Kymani panted softly while giving Zachary a wordless look. “I want to.”

Quietly, Zachary reached for the man's trousers and pulled them away from his hips, the other lifting his up enough to allow Zach to get rid him of them. Zachary followed suit, stepping off the end of the bed long enough to drop his pants, stepping out of them and crawling back onto the bed, pushing Kymani's knees apart and moving between them.

Below him, Kymani's lips were parted, a small sliver of pink tongue poking out to trace over them. Zachary, on his elbows, supported himself over the man's body as Kymani's hands found his torso again, wrapping around his back.

Zachary had known that Kymani was attractive but now, in the fickle light and Kymani fully unclothed it was more apparent. Kymani was all lithe, smooth skin and lean muscle. Zachary lowered his mouth and kissed Kymani, deepening it immediately and resuming the passion of the entrance alcove. Fluidly, he moved to rest on one elbow, the other hand tracing lower to catch at the hem of Kymani's dark boxer-briefs.

The Cajun lifted his hips to let Zachary pull them off, suddenly very aware that he was naked and that Zachary was backing up, sitting back on his haunches and looking down at his bare body.

If Kymani could have pulled his legs together he would have, but as Zachary was on his knees between them, he forced himself to wait and watch for Zachary's reaction. The reaction he got was a hard swallow and blatant desire in his eyes; that was enough for the young engineer.

Kymani felt hope spring into his chest when Zachary stripped his own underwear off without getting off the bed, carelessly flinging them over his shoulder. Large black pools rimmed by a smidgen of hazel eyes were latched on Zachary's face, before finally making his eyes slipped down, and then darted away.

Holding Kymani’s eyes Zachary softly took Kymani's slim cock in his hand and knowing what motion he liked, he mirrored it for Kymani, gripping firmly and stroking his fist along the man's length. Kymani moaned softly and lifted his hips, eyes never moving from Zachary's face. To Zachary, the constant eye contact was almost as sexy as the sight of Kymani reacting under his ministrations.

For his part, Kymani had never had hands on him like this before; although he wasn't virginal, his experiences with other men had been sporadic. Nobody had ever kissed him as headily or touched him in a way that was more than to just make sure he came.

Kymani pushed himself up from his elbows and reached between Zachary's legs, wrapping his hand around the girth there. Zachary was far from disappointed, letting out a small groan and closing his eyes for a few seconds as Kymani began to twist his fingers, studious hands learning his flesh.

Both their hands moved along with each other, and Kymani arched his back and neck in search of contact. Zachary gave it, leaning forward to latch his lips on Kymani’s neck relishing the electricity of the fire of Kymani's hand stroking him.

“You do have lube, right?” Kymani breathed into the man's mouth. “Condoms too?”

Zachary blindly leaned across the bed, pulled open a bedside drawer and feeling inside, finally drawing back with a bottle of KY gel and a packet of condoms. By the soft intaken breath Zach knew that Kymani was a little surprised that he’d had both of these things and more so that they were kept by his bed, but he didn't comment.

Gently he put one hand on Kymani's smooth pale rear and circled the tip of a lubricated finger around the pink pucker of the man's entrance. Kymani jolted, bracing his upper torso against the pillows of the bed.

Zachary firmly pressed his finger against the muscled resistance, and then through. Kymani moaned from his throat as Zachary's thick digit invaded him, pushing to the hilt as the muscles clamped at the welcomed intrusion.

Zachary's other hand traced up Kymani’s side, the pad of his finger brushed against a small bump, and although he knew what was going to happen when he touched the man's prostate, he wasn't prepared for the reaction to his touch.

“Aaah!” Kymani gasped, hips arching into the contact, all the muscles of his thighs tensed tight. Zachary’s hand that was on Kymani’s side slipped to down to his hip than to the apex of his them.

Kymani was still hard, his tip wet with precum. Zachary gently made circles with his fingertip and felt the man's cock jump in hand, felt the muscles of his legs dance against his own and listened to the sound of Kymani's panting breathing and soft moans.

After more time stroking his finger within Kymani's channel, gently touching his sweet spot, he withdrew the finger and squeezed more lube onto it, and onto the adjacent finger. Pausing this time to read the man's response he pushed them into the tight slickened heat. He found that spot again and framed it with his fingers, barely touching it, not wanting to over-stimulate the man and cause him to come early.

Kymani seemed to enjoy this though because his hips were rocking slightly back and forth like a sibilant wave. Kymani’s hand reached up and gripped one of the pillows hard. Zachary removed his fingers slowly, unable to ignore his own need any more. Kymani shifted a little then widened his legs a bit. Zachary met his gaze as he unwrapped a condom and slid it down his length.

“You’re absolutely sure about this?” Zachary asked huskily, lazily stroking lube over his latex covered erection.

“Yes,” Kymani nodded shivering a little pressing a hand on Zachary’s abs. “Just go slowly, it’s been… a while.”

Zachary gripped Kymani's rear with one hand, the other guiding his tip against the other's entrance. At the first entrance, Zachary was enamored with Kymani's hitching breaths, the tiny sounds falling from between his lips.

Zachary pushed forward, the head of his cock slipping past the first guarding muscle, and Kymani moaned throatily. It took all of Zachary's restraint not to slam his hips forward and bury himself in that delicious tight heat, and now both hands gripped Kymani's behind tightly.

Kymani's toes curled as he felt Zachary pushing in slowly, steadily stretching him, and filling him. Pride and lust surged into Zach’s system as he heard the sounds falling from Kymani’s mouth; the soft gasps and the high whines of need from the back of his throat.

Finally, he felt pushed to the point where he was fully seated and the feeling was more than he'd ever imagined; tighter, warmer and a thousand times more intense. It was intimate to the point that his head spun, and it was a slight miracle that he even heard Kymani’s plea.

“Zach’ry!” Kymani gasped. “Need...”

His need was obvious. Hands shifting position slightly to grip Kymani's hips Zachary held them tightly as he slid his pelvis back, dragging his cock back against the resistance of Kymani's squeezing muscles.

He stopped with the tip still sheathed and pushed forward again, quicker than he had the first time, and repeated the action again. Kymani began to respond immediately, rocking his own hips back and forth in rhythm with Zachary's, an unspoken sign that he wanted – needed - Zachary to move.

The tan man was moving into Kymani with increasing fervor, his golden face under his creased with the completely new feeling of being filled so entirely.

Zachary continued his fast movements as his hands moved around Kymani's hips while one of his hand was around Kymani’s neck and through his hair, grabbing a large fistful of it. He squeezed his hand, tugging at Kymani's hair and making his neck arch, gauging the man's reaction as he began to thrust again.

“Yesss,” Kymani hissed through his teeth, so Zachary gripped his hair harder and pulled, making the man's back arch. His hand moved lower, gripping at the man's bony hip to give him leverage as he continued to fuck him, hard and fast shallow thrusts.

Kymani was moaning loudly, too lost in the rapture of the friction and the heat and the stimulating tug of his hair. Zachary was too caught up in his ecstasy to wonder what his neighbors must be thinking. Feeling a bit animalistic Zachary placed his teeth and lips at his neck, worrying the flesh there before biting down into his slick skin.

Zachary had, perhaps foolishly, imagined Kymani would be passive in sex, letting Zachary have him any way he wanted but Kymani was not merely allowing himself to be fucked; he wanted it as much as Zachary did. That thought was so sexy to Zachary, and he thrust harder into Kymani for it.

Moving from his neck Zachary kissed him then, claiming his mouth, using his hold on the man's hair to angle his face so he could dominate the kiss. Kymani's hips thrust forward into his own hand under Zachary's control, knew that as long as he didn't stop stroking and thrusting soon he'd peak.

Kymani screwed his eyes shut and moaned against Zachary's mouth, hips jerking and body shaking as he tumbled headfirst into orgasm, spilling out between them. Zachary kept a grip on his hair, holding him upright as the thinner man's body shook from the force of the orgasm that triggered his own.

With several last hard thrusts, Zachary came, grinding his body against the other, holding the man's hips to him desperately, his head was thrown back and teeth clenched to stifle what felt like a roar that was brewing in his chest. It came out as a deep groan as he emptied into the condom, jerking his body with several small erratic thrusts and collapsed onto the slick body under his.

For what felt like a long time - but wasn't even a minute - they were frozen in place, both panting heavily. Kymani wanted to tell him he didn't mind Zachary's weight covering him, his lingering hardness still buried in him. At Kymani's neck, he could feel the other man's hot breath ghosting over his damp skin. He wanted to close the inch between their hands and slip his fingers between Zachary's, but he didn't dare.

Eventually, Zachary pushed himself up as if he was doing a press up, and gently withdrew his softening cock from Kymani's still throbbing channel.  Zachary blinked the blur from his eyes, soaking up the warm quiet. Gently he reached up and brushed his fingers over the small of Kymani's back, over the small curve of one of his buttocks.

“You okay?” he said softly, the care for his lover very apparent. His fingers lingered against Kymani's behind, and the man seemed to understand he was asking about whether he was okay somewhere specific.

“I'm fine,” Kymani said softly, not daring to move as Zachary touched him.

“Kymani, this is the possibly the worst time in the history of the universe for me to ask this question and I feel like an ass asking it… but how many guys have you slept with?” Zachary asked softly. Kymani shifted a little, folding his arms under his head.

“One,” Kymani said, pressing his nose into Zachary’s skin.

“When was that?” Zachary couldn't help but ask.

“When I was nineteen,” Kymani sighed, “It was sex just because of sex, there was no emotional connection.”

Doing a quick calculation in his head Zachary was astounded, “Kymani, are you telling me that I’m the…the first boyfriend, you’ve ever had.”

Kymani leveled him with calm eyes. “I told you I kept to myself, why’re you so surprised?”

“I dunno,” Zachary said sarcastically, “Cause you’re gorgeous, smart, kind, gorgeous, smart, funny and did I mention fucking gorgeous?”

Kymani softly slapped him on his chest, “Stop it.”

Zachary let out a deep laugh, “No, and you’d better prepare for more compliments because you are beautiful… and I love you.”

Kymani eyes widened, clearly stunned but then a small smile crossed his face, “Ej t'aime.”

Pressing a soft sealing kiss on his lover’s lips Zach felt complete for the first time in his life.

*****

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Kymani asked, reaching over to place a hand on Zach’s.

The two had just pulled up to Zach’s parent’s suburban home. It was Thanksgiving Day and Zach the day before, had found the courage to call his mother and ask her if he could stop by…and bring his boyfriend with him.

His mother, Caroline, had taken a long while to respond before she had replied with a shaky ‘yes’.

Kymani had been apprehensive the moment Zach had suggested it, saying that it was only fair his folks knew of his relationship like Kymani’s mother knew his- and had even gone to give them her blessing.

Two days later, there they were, sitting in the car at the curb of Hollow Lane and facing the large Mahogany wood home before them. Zach reached over and tucked on end of Kymani’s finely twined locks behind his ear. The strand was soft to the touch as it had just been re-twisted.

“Don’t worry about it,” Zach consoled softly looking into anxious eyes, “It’ll be alright, no matter what happens in there, I’ll be by your side.”

Wordlessly, Kymani shot him a tremulous smile, popped the inner handle of the door and stepped out into the chilly autumn air. With his hand on Kymani’s shoulder, Zach pressed the doorbell.

After a moment the door opened and an older gentleman, who had the same eyes as Zach stood there, dressed in fitted khaki trousers and a pressed blue button-up shirt. His eyes flicked at Kymani for a moment and widened slightly in surprise before he looked at his son and smiled.

“Zach,” Mr. Collins said, “Welcome home son.”

The younger Collin’s shoulders sagged in visible relief while he stepped into his father’s arms. “Good to see you dad.”

He stepped back, and placed his hand on Kymani’s shoulder, “Dad, this is Kymani Latibeaudiere, he’s at MIT too.”

“Good evening Mr. Collins,” Kymani said respectfully, “How are you?”

The older man smiled a bit at the smooth Cajun accent, “…I’m well thank you but I think it’s said in New Orleans, comme ci, comme ca, correct?”

Both Kymani and Zach were shocked to hear Cajun words come from the older man and Kymani laughed a little.

Smiling a little Mr. Collins said, “Please call me Ken, and come in,” Ken said opening the door a little further, “Zach, you’re mom will be down shortly.”

“In the meantime,” Ken gestured to the padded couch, “Tell me Kymani, what area are you at the college?”

“Engineering actually, the civil and environmental division,” Kymani replied, “which I couldn’t have found if not for Zach. I was spinning around like a gig when then found me and pointed me in the right direction.”

Ken shifted his look to Zach with a small look of admiration, but then back to Kymani. “I assume you’re staying on campus, right?”

“That is what my scholarship allows me to do,” Kymani replied evenly, “So yes.”

By that time soft footsteps announced the arrival of Zach’s mother- Caroline- a gracefully aging middle-aged woman with the same blond hair and blue eyes in a soft chiffon dress.

“Zach- oh,” Caroline stopped short and blinked at the young black man sitting on her couch and talking with her husband, “Oh hello.”

Kymani stood and held out his hand, “Mrs. Collins, good to meet you.”

With apprehension running through his chest Zach saw the slight hesitation his mother had when she took Kymani’s hand and shook it once before pulling away. Her blue eyes flicked to him and Zach saw what he had feared- rejection.

“Hello, who are you?”

“Kymani, Kymani Latibeaudiere,” Kymani replied, “I study engineering student like Zachr’y.”

“Oh,” Caroline said hesitatingly and he eyes flicked once more between them, “That’s nice. Where in Louisiana are you from.”

“New Orleans,” Kymani replied, “I transferred from the University there.”

“Kymani is a budding civil engineer,” Ken Collins cut in, “Isn’t that wonderful dear?”

The smile Caroline repaid them with was strained at the edges, “It is, excuse me; I’ll get some drinks for us.”

“I’ll help,” Zach replied turning to follow his mother, feeling the tension in the air and feeling that an altercation was budding.

From the doorway of the industrial kitchen, Zach watched his mother bustle around the room, taking out a tray, coasters, glasses and the lemonade from the fridge.

The stiffness he saw in her spine didn’t sit well with him, “Mom, are you okay?”

Caroline didn’t answer him and turned away. Troubled, Zach asked again, “Mom; is everything okay?

“No Zachary!” Caroline snapped, turning to him angrily while the small tears were budding at the corners of her eyes, “I could have accepted that you're...gay, but now that you've carried a black boy into my house, no Zachary, just No! I can't deal with that.” now the tears were starting to fall over, “I love you Zach but I - I can't bear this.”

 

The silence that thrummed through the air was more deafening than a blasting foghorn. Zachary stood there completely dumbstruck that his own family, his mother, was this callous. His fist clenched for a moment, then when he spoke his tone was completely empty,

 

“Tell me, mom, if ‘he’ was a ‘she’ would you have accepted her? If I had fallen in love with a black woman, would you be okay with that?”

 

Caroline's navy blue eyes shifted to the side for a split second and her throat contract with a heavy swallow, and that was all the proof Zach needed.

 

“Is it woman or black or both that's tripping you up, Mom?” Zach pressed within her silence. 

 

He waited for a long moment and still with no reply Zach snorted in derision. 

 

“So all that preaching about loving your neighbor and that people are people who deserve love and affection no matter who they are was bull, right. I never thought I'd say this but you're a hypocrite mom. I'm sorry but I'm not going to change myself or the person I love just because you don't like it.”

 

“It’s just not right Zachary!” Caroline said, “The Bible is clear about this, you will-”

 

“Oh just stop about hell and damnation Mom,” Zach snapped, “If you want hell I think I’m already in it. You know, I came here in the vain hope to get some kind of blessing that Kymani’s mother gave him but now, I think I wasted my time.”

 

Spinning on his heel Zachary called out, “Kymani, let's go, we're not needed or wanted here.”

 

A stumble and a soft curse were heard from the living room and Kymani stumbled out with Zachary's father in the background. His golden eyes were wide, “Zach, what's g-”

 

“We need to leave, now,” Zach said tightly while striding to the door. Kymani shot an apprehensive look at the softly crying women braced on the kitchen table and the man who was moving to comfort her but didn't say a word about it and followed his boyfriend out.

 

Zachary yanked the door of the Hybrid out a little harder than needed, sank into the seat angrily and shoved the key inside the keyhole with unnecessary force. The moment Kymani buckled himself in Zach spun out from the curb with a speed only Nascar drivers used. 

 

“Zach!” Kymani called shooting a hand to the dashboard, “Slow down, what the hell are doing?” 

 

“Getting us as fucking far away from those people I thought was my family.” Zachary snapped and stepped on the gas pedal, “People I thought I could count on. My loving mother just basically disowned me just because I love you. According to her, she could have put up with the fact that I'm gay but I had the gall to bring a black boy into her house.”

 

Golden eyes widened at the stress on black and then Kymani said, “Zachary Collins, pull over right now.” 

 

Zachary ignored him if anything the speed picked up a little more. 

 

“Damn it, Zachary, pull the damn car over, now!” Kymani ordered. 

 

A shocked blue eye shot over and the car's acceleration slipped a little, then gradually to nothing. They were in a section of the road where an inlet to an empty park was and Zach pulled over and shut off the car. 

 

With his heart still pumping and his mind scattered to the four corners of the earth, Zach leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. 

 

“... Did she really say that?” Kymani said quietly, “That you're not welcome in your own home because you're with me...because I'm black.”

 

Zachary grimaced a little, “I might have exaggerated a little but essentially. It’s just, I can’t believe my dad is more tolerant than my own mother.”

 

The quiet in the car stretched for a moment before Kymani said, “Let me go then.”

 

Zachary reacted like he'd been electrocuted; he jerked in his seat and twisted to his lover, “What the hell Kymani?”

 

Settled in his seat, Kymani's head was bowed and his hair was falling over his face. Zach reached over, unbuckled the Cajun man's belt, then grasped Kymani's jaw, tilted his head and looked him in man's eyes. 

 

Something seemed to shrivel up and die in Zachary's chest when he saw the deep-seated pain in his boyfriend's golden orbs.  

 

“What did that come from?” Zach asked quietly, “Kymani, tell me why in the world would I let you go?” 

 

A caramel hand rose and curled over the pale version, clenched over it for a moment then pulled it away, “Zach, your family, your mom or whoever pays your tuition. If she cuts you off what are you going to do? I mean I have my scholarship but you, you have your family's money. You can't give that up, just for me.”

 

Seeing the genuine concern in Kymani's eyes, Zachary smiled and leaned forward, “Is that what you're worried about? Kymani, I already planned for that. From the day I knew who I was, I've been saving every cent from my job and whatever cash my parents give me. I have enough money to pay for my tuition for the next year in case they do cut me off and after that, I’ll find a way to make the ends meet.”

 

“But what about your apartment?” Kymani said, still with a tone of anxiety. 

 

“I'll let the lease go, collect my security deposit and find a cheaper place.” Zach proposed, “Whatever the case I'm not letting you go Kymani, I love you more than you think, so get it out of your head. It's not going to happen, not now nor ever, understand?” 

 

“Mo chagrin, that’s a lot to sacrifice for me, cher.” Kymani sighed, “But I won’t stop you.”

That night when they made love, it was Zachary, who was on the receiving end. Slowly Zachary's lips were kissed before warm lips slipped down the slender column of his neck, and tender bites peppered at his pulse point. Calloused fingers then softly shifted Zach’s shirt to allow a hot open mouth to run over his shoulder. By the onset, it seemed that tonight was going to be slow and sensuous; no frantic rush, no fire scorched impatient need; just a plain show of love.

That night, when Kymani was sound asleep beside him, Zachary slipped out of the bed, took his phone off the nightstand and spoke. He called his mother’s cell knowing that this time of the night it would ring out to voicemail.

“Mom, I know you don’t want to hear this but I’m sorry. I still love you and understand what principles and beliefs and I respect you for that. I know that you’d want more from me but I am what I am and I only ask that you accept it. I hope that someday you’ll realize that my love for Kymani is just as real as yours and dad. I love you mom, please know that.”

Pressing the end button Zach felt like something had just come and taxed his soul, ripping away from him the leeway to fall back on the stability and love he had found with his family. He felt on his own; bare, raw and vulnerable.

Scrubbing a hand over his face he sat up and went back to bed where the soft sleeping face of his life was resting and felt a small balm come over his ragged soul as he slipped beside him. Closing his eyes, Zach wrapped his arm around Kymani and laughed softly when the Cajun’s nose wrinkled in his sleep.

****

Bare-chested and feeling a little more settled from his declaration last night Zach watched softly as Kymani did away with the dishes, smiling at his boyfriend’s OCD problem; Kymani easily got agitated when dirty utensils, dishes, and any other mess was around him.

When he was done and Feeling like everything was going to be okay; Zach crossed the room and wrapped Kymani in his arms. “I love you, you know that right?”

A small smile crossed Kymani’s face, “I felt that last night.”

Laughing softly Zach dipped his head and kissed him, a loving kiss which was interrupted in the worst way.

The door blasted open and then time seemed to freeze. Zach dropped his hand and spun to the door where a wide-eyed and jaw dropped Jason was standing there in shock. A pulse ran through the air and Kymani jerked from his seat just as Jason’s face went red and his eyed narrowed.

“Motherfuck!” Jason shouted with the spare key Zach had given him months ago dangling from his grip, “Jesus H-fucking-Christ, Zachary! You’re… you’re fucking gay!”

“Jason!”  Zach snapped, anger and fear running through his system like liquid lava, “You can’t burst into here without any warning!”

“I’m fucking glad I did!” Jason spat, “I can’t believe you, Zach! How could you do this! all this time I thought we were on the same page but you, you’re on another fucking planet!”

“Jason,” Zach said stepping out, “List-”

“You’re not only gay but gay for that goddamn charity case you’ve been ditching me and everyone else for!”

Kymani elbowed Zach away, “’Scuse me, what the hell are you talking about, what charity case?”

Jason’s blue eyes glared, “That’s you. Zach has been ditching us all month to ‘mentor’ you to get in good with the professors, so he can get additional credit on his GPA but it’s clear that he was mentoring you with his dick.”

“Is that true!” Kymani rounded on Zach with rage imprinted on every feature he had, “Am I your fucking charity case Zachr’y? Was all this just to get in good with your professors for credit?”

“No!” Zachary shot back with panic on his face before he rounded on Jason with fury, “Jason you fucking moron, I only said that to get you off my goddamn back. You were so fucking nearsighted that the only way you could possibly understand me paying Kymani any attention was because I’m trying to kiss my professors’ ass!”

“Were you?” Kymani snapped his shoulders rigid with anger and his expressive eyes flashing, “Tell me right now Zach, did you use me as an excuse to get anything from your teachers? Tell me the truth.”

Zachary felt like something had gone and carved a pit out of his stomach and forced himself to not look at Jason’s triumphant eyes, “Once, but it-”

“Putain. You fucking asshole.” Kymani snarled, spun on his hell and was about to walk off when Zach grabbed his hand. Kymani spun back with a blistering right hook, a punch that landed squarely on Zach’s jaw. The punch made Zach see stars and he automatically dropped his lover’s hand, “Don’t ever touch me again, you bastard.”

Stunned to silence, Zach watched the love of his life rush to the room, grab his stuff and walk away, the line of tension steel in his spine.

“Good riddance to bad rubbish,” Jason muttered darkly behind him.

Zach spun to his muscle-bound friend with so much anger in his gut he was surprised he hadn’t exploded, “What the fuck was the Jason!”

Level blue-green eyes met his, “I did it because you deserve better Zach, fuck, I couldn’t care less that you were gay but for a black boy? Are you out of your mind?”

The injured electric engineer stepped back, his metaphoric eyes now wide open, “… Jason, I got this crap from my mother and now you? Jason, Christ, I lost my family yesterday, lost my boyfriend ten seconds ago and now,” Zach placed his hand in the middle of Jason’s chest and pushed, “…now, I’m losing my best friend. I can’t believe you’d do that to me… I had hoped you’d be… you know what, goodbye Jason…I don’t think I can stand to look at you anymore.”

“Zach!”

With his eyes hard as stone, Zach slammed the door in his face and grabbed his shirt, shoes, and cell and not caring if Jason was outside he darted out with one intention; to find Kymani and explain.

The first place he went to was the dorm but the guard reported that he hadn’t seen Kymani. Not deterred, Zach scoured the engineering campus and still couldn’t find him. Every ten minutes he called Kymani’s cell and every call went to voicemail.

Two hours in the line finally connected and in relief, Zach called out, “Ky-”

“Shut up Zachr’y,” Kymani snapped, “Feet pue tan, just fucking stop you goddam son of a bitch. If this was all for fun and jokes, you won. You fucking won Zach. I was a fool to trust you in the first place because what man like you would be interested in me, a poor black kid from New Orleans when you had it all. I’m sorry I even knew you and allowed you to break my h- fuck, goodbye Zachr’y.”

The line cut off abruptly and Zach stood there, ironically in the middle of Killian Court, numb. He didn’t move until it fully sank in that Kymani had dumped him.

Closing his hand around the slim digit Zach closed his eyes, knowing that this was all his fault. Cruel hindsight reminded him the many moments he could have come clean with Kymani and tell him that the truth and that his simple neglect had come to cost him.

Heading back home Zach felt like a curtain of bleak bleakness had come over him and he had no idea when it would leave?

*****

The chilly wind of winter in Boston didn’t even faze Zach as he looked up from his notes. He was sitting against a tree in Killian Court; nineteen days after Kymani had broken up with him. It was the last days of classes and Zach had embarked on a self-imposed isolation for the last two weeks and four days.

He knew that Jason had told Brandon, Richard, Lance and who the fuck else knew that he was gay and didn’t give a damn. In fact, he didn’t give a damn about anything much; it all felt empty as Kymani had left.

Zach had no idea that this would get to him; this dearth of emotion after having his love being ripped away from him. He felt empty and went about his daily duties like a robot.

He came there to the court for a piece of nostalgic masochism. This was where he had met Kymani and even staying in this court meant he would feel pain, he didn’t care.

Scribbling something on the pad Zach felt when a body sat beside him but didn’t care.

“Hey, Zach,”

“What the hell do you want Jason?” Zach said emptily, not moving his eyes from the pad. “Want to kill me and sell my organs on the black market so you’d get rid of me altogether?”

“Dude, that’s disgusting.” Jason sighed, “I’m sorry Zach, I never thought you’d be…gay but besides that, I didn’t think you’d fall for a black kid; but I haven’t seen you this miserable in my life and I realize the huge fuck up I made. I’m sorry that I messed up your life Zach. I’m sorry dude.”

Zach’s pen stilled for a moment but then it dropped and sighed, “It’s alright Jase. I should have told you who I was in the first place. This is all on me. I’m sorry.”

For the first time in over a month, Zach looked his friend in the eye, “Thanks for everything though.”

Jason slanted a blue eye to him, “You really love him, don’t you?”

A low and hollow laugh came from the despondent Collins, “What do you think?”

“Should’a seen that coming,” Jason sighed, tilting his head up, “Think you can get him back?”

“Can you help me wind back time?” Zach replied, “Cause that’s the only way I think I can get through to him.”

“It’s almost exams Zach,” Jason said scuffing his left sneaker in the ground, “I don’t want you to go into this exam half-assed so I’ll help you get him back, for my sake more than yours.”

Zach reached over lightly punched him in the arm, “You’re a real piece of work you know that…but what do you propose?”

*****

The Parson’s hydrodynamics Lab wasn’t Zach’s favorite place, in fact, any lab wasn’t his cup of tea; they all smelled of detergent and antiseptic, but he wasn’t there for him; this was all for Kymani.

He wasn’t entirely comfortable with holding an ambush but this was a desperate time and it called for desperate means. Even if he had to go to New Orleans and camp out before Kymani’s gate he would do it.

Sitting on the metal chair with his foot bouncing in anxiety, Zach waited in the dark until Kymani, who was scheduled to use the lab, came in.

His head darted up when he heard the heavy door push open and Kymani reached in a flicked on the light.  Glad that he was slightly camouflaged by his position, Zach waited until Kymani locked the door and placed his books on the table.

The moment he moved into Kymani’s line of sight the Cajun’s eyes went wide in surprise but then narrowed in ire. “Are you stalking me now?”

“Yes,” Zach replied pushing off the stool, “I need you to listen to me.”

“Why?” Kymani spat, “Because your grades are in peril?”

“No.” Zach said slowly stepping towards him, “Because I can’t sleep without you, I can’t see any color without you and my days are so fucking empty with you gone. I’m sorry Kymani, I should have told you the truth but I couldn’t. I’m a weak son of a bitch and I admit it, but I swear on my life that I still love you and no matter if you don’t believe me, I’ll still love you.”

Zach didn’t react when Kymani flinches at the ‘L’ word but kept on, “The moment I saw you I knew my life had changed and the moment your lips touched mine I was lost. That night, a few feet away from your dorm is sealed in my mind Kymani, just like you are. Everything you are, everything you do to me, say to me even a look, has been chiseled in the stone of my mind. I love you Kymani, whatever else be damned.”

By the time he had finished speaking, he was a mere foot away from the golden eyes that he loved. The mystic orbs that had enchanted him from the moment he had seen them.

“You know how you say I broke your heart…” Zach added, “You shattered mine to pieces when you left and up to now I can’t find the shards to put them back together.”

Kymani was back, flush on the lab’s door, his amber eyes wide but teeming with sorrow. Zach knew that the same pain he was feeling was inside his boyfriend.

“Put them back together Kymani,” Zach replied five inches away from Kymani’s full lips, “Let me love you again.”

Slowly, Kymani’s hands came up and twisted in Zach’s shirt, “You’re friend Jason told me that the charity case stuff was his idea, is that true?”

Zach nodded, “I never ever said those words.”

Golden eyes dimmed, “It hurt you know when I thought you’d used me for credit…I hated you more than I loved you because I thought you’d betrayed me. There were times when I even thought you were ashamed of me because I’d never meet your friends…but I understand now. You were just trying to protect me.”

Pressing his forehead in Kymani’s Zach whispered, “I would never betray you… I love you Kymani and I don’t give a damn who says what, I’d protect you with my life.”

Kymani’s head tilted to the side and he sighed, “Can we start over, you know despite it all.”

“I can certainly do that,” Zach said before kissing him with all his heart and soul in it.