We’ve all heard the stories. Shy, innocent, but beautiful woman meets the handsome, jaded, but good inside billionaire with a heart of gold. Some drama follows, and lots of steamy sex before lo and behold, shy girl saves his jaded soul and makes him whole again. And they live happily ever after.
Yeah, that one. There are millions just like it.
But what if they’re not all like that? I mean, those stories are great for a weekend read, but they’re fiction.
My story is not fiction. My story is as real as it gets. I’m far from a shy, innocent girl, and there was no saving the jaded soul of the billionaire that swept me off my feet, because my billionaire had let greed drive him to the brink of insanity.
Six months earlier…
“Cut!”
The director’s shout catches me off guard. Seriously? Cut? I look up at Ricky—who is thrusting his cock in and out of me like a sexy jackrabbit—and make a face. His jaw tenses, and his ruddy cheeks get even redder as he pulls out and sits back on his feet.
Sitting up, I look over to Jeff, our director. “What the hell?”
It’s unusual for a director to yell cut in the middle of a porn shoot, and it’s especially frustrating when I was so goddamn close to coming. My clit throbs between my slick folds, and I want more than anything to reach down and rub it, relieving what is slowly turning into a painful arousal.
It’s rare for me to come on camera, but I make it work. I can fake it like a pro, but Ricky is good with his cock. And his tongue. We’ve also been at this for more than two hours, so to say I’m annoyed by this little impromptu break is putting it mildly.
“Sorry, Alex,” Jeff says. “Just got a call from security that Mr. Reese is on his way up, and he wants to see the shoot in progress.”
Ricky groans. “Seriously?” His hand comes down to slowly stroke his cock, his face twisted with the effort to keep it hard so we can start right up again.
There are times I feel kind of bad for the men in the adult film industry. It’s easy for us women. We don’t have to be aroused to look like we’re enjoying ourselves. Most of us rarely are, but we’ve mastered the art of acting to the point where nobody would ever know. Not even our scene partners. Men, though? It’s kind of hard to act an erection.
I squeeze my legs together, the burn of my clit and my ragged breathing taking their toll on my body. I need to cum.
A flurry of motion erupts down the hall and my orgasm is forgotten as the man walks into the room, followed by a woman with a notepad, pen, and a pinched face. His eyes meet mine as he nears and I sit there, frozen, unable to look away from his steely gaze. He doesn’t look away from me as he lifts a hand to Jeff and says, “Proceed.”
“All right, Alex and Ricky, from where we left off.”
Jeff’s words fall on deaf ears while I stare at Maxwell Reese, one of the richest men in the world, and the owner of the adult film company that had recruited me away from my previous employer just three months ago. I’d never seen him in person before, just pictures on the internet. He’s taller than I expected, and even more beautiful in person. His face is hard and angular, as if chiselled from the finest stone.
“Alex,” Ricky whispers from above me, his cock in his hand, ready to thrust into me. “Lay down, baby.”
I force my gaze from Reese to Ricky, and slowly lower myself back onto the bed. His hands land on the backs of my thighs, just like before, and he opens me wide; my feet touching the sky, the cool air of the room hitting my swollen clit.
I can feel Reese’s gaze on my skin, like a caress, as Ricky positions his cock at my aching entrance. I can’t help it when my eyes drift back in Reese’s direction. Our eyes are locked together as Ricky pushes himself back inside, filling me, making me scream in pleasure and relief as he thrusts his massive cock in and out. His soft curls rub against my clit, bringing the burn to a full-blown flame.
Everyone else in the room disappears. It’s just me and Maxwell Reese, and my fast-rushing climax. His jaw tightens, and I don’t miss the twitch of his dick in his pants as I pant and moan. My body writhes on the mattress, reaching for the release I so desperately need. When a thumb meets my clit, it hits me. I scream out in pleasure, the cock that is fucking me dragging out my orgasm as I stare into Reese’s eyes.
His nostrils flare out, and I watch the touch of red creep up his neck from beneath the collar of his perfectly pressed dress shirt as he watches me come.
“Fuck, yes!” Ricky groans and quickly pulls out, his own cum spurting across my belly in warm, sticky drops, reminding me that he’s here, and that it’s not Reese fucking me. My chest heaves, my nipples tight as I rip my gaze away from the billionaire in the corner and remind myself that I’m working.
Biting my lip, I put on a show for the camera, looking up at Ricky from beneath my lashes as I reach down and grasp his still spurting dick with both hands. I slide them up his slick length and swipe away the last of his cum with my thumb before bringing it to my mouth.
I’ve never been one to enjoy the taste of cum, but I don’t let it show as I suck it from the tip and smile up at him with a wicked grin. His mouth meets mine in a clash of teeth and tongue, and we kiss like that until Jeff calls out, “And scene!”
Ricky pulls away and grins at me, pleased with himself as he holds out his hand to help me sit up.
“Good job, guys,” Jeff calls out, already focusing on the camera and scrolling through the footage we’d just gotten. I glance back toward Reese, only to see his back disappearing through the door, his assistant close on his heels. What the hell just happened?
***
I drive home that afternoon in a daze. The memory of Maxwell Reese’s steely blue eyes boring into me as I’d climaxed plays over and over again in my mind. Even though I’d never met him before, the way he had stared at me, and the way that made me feel, was like he himself was fucking me, coaxing every ounce of pleasure from my body. Claiming me.
Pulling the car to a stop in my driveway, I rest my head on the steering wheel and take a deep, cleansing breath. Come on, Alex. Get it together. Reese has no interest in you, other than how much money you can make him while you fuck other men.
I sigh a little as I push the door of my car open and head toward my front door. Inside, the cool air is a stark contrast against my heated skin. I love my house. It’s a three-bedroom bungalow on the outskirts of town, complete with a wooded back yard, and a gorgeously landscaped, kidney shaped in-ground pool. I’d paid for it in full last year, after getting payment for my third film.
Being a porn star was never something I had dreamt of being. I don’t think any little girl grows up with dreams of being the fantasy of masturbating men everywhere. It had happened out of the blue, and the career choice to give it a shot had changed my life.
I came from a quiet family in rural Nebraska. My mother and father were active in their church, and my brother grew up to be a pastor of a church that he himself built. My childhood was filled with family dinners, strict rules, and Sunday school lessons.
The problems between me and the rest of my family started when I was about sixteen. I stopped attending church and started dating, much to my parent’s dismay. They wanted me to wait until I was eighteen. They wanted me to meet a boy from church. In fact, they’d already had one in mind that they thought would be perfect for me.
I rebelled, big time. I dated who I wanted, when I wanted. I paid no attention to curfews or rules if I thought they were unfair. I partied, I drank, and I had sex way too young. I lived. I loved my parents, but they focused all of their time and energy living for a deity that I didn’t even believe in. To me, that was foolish.
When I was eighteen, my father had had enough. He’d handed me five hundred dollars and a suitcase full of my belongings, and dropped me off at the bus station. He told me to go, to live my life of sin somewhere they didn’t have to watch me do it. So, I left.
I haven’t spoken to my parents since that day. My brother managed to track me down on social media last year. We talk on the phone from time to time, and we’ve seen each other once, but I know he’s only interested in saving my soul. It’s his way of loving me, and I respect that, as much as I don’t understand it.
After the five hundred dollars my father had given me ran out, I’d already made it to Los Angeles. I had tried waitressing, but even with the tips, I was barely able to pay for the sleazy motel room I was staying in. I turned to stripping, which was where I ended up making my money.
The way I felt when I danced in front of all those men, slowly peeling off one article of clothing at a time, was empowering. As a society, we’re taught to believe that strippers are the lowest of the low. I guess in a way, some of them are, but in my mind, most of those women are the strongest I have ever met.
They are sexual beings, in touch with their sexuality, and proud of their bodies. They live in a world where women are raised to believe that sex is naughty. Secret. Those women buck the system and do what they want, and sometimes, what they have to do to get by.
I was dancing onstage the night the producer from a local porn company came in. He kept the dollar bills coming, and though I had no clue who he was at the time, I paid him some extra attention, performing some of my best moves directly in front of him.
At the end of the night, he’d approached me and offered me a role in one of his films. I wasn’t interested at first, and then he told me I’d make twenty-five hundred dollars, just to have sex with a man, who from the pictures he showed me, was very attractive.
That was the end of my stripping career. I know how people look at girls like me. They think we’re trash—broken. They assume that most of us are victims of abuse of some kind or another. But they’re wrong.
Every single person on this planet has their kinks. Mine just happens to be sex in a public forum. It makes me feel powerful, beautiful, and sexy. I’ve found a way to explore my preferred sexual appetite in a place that’s safe, totally legal, and consensual for everyone involved. Plus, if I continue to invest my money the way I have been, I won’t have to work any job for the rest of my life, leaving me more time to do the things I enjoy.
I’ve been writing short stories since I was just a girl. My mother had read one once, when I was about fifteen, and instantly threw it into the fire. She then made me get on my knees and pray to God for forgiveness. Apparently, she didn’t approve of the dark romance genre. My dream has always been to publish one of my stories, but I’ve never been brave enough to submit one to a publisher.
Shaking off the memories, I step out into my back yard and strip away my clothes. As I approach the edge of the pool, I brace for the cool water on my naked skin, and then I jump, erasing all thoughts of my parents, Lush Studios, and Maxwell Reese from my mind.
***
“Why does she get the lead in this one?”
It takes everything I have in me not to roll my eyes at Kendra’s whiney protest. Jeff isn’t so kind. “Because she’s good at her fucking job, and Reese wants it this way. I suggest, if you want to keep your own part in the next shoot, you get your ass to makeup and get ready.”
I’d like to say I’ve never seen a grown woman stomp out of a room in a huff worthy of any five-year-old, but if I did, I’d be lying. I’ve worked with Kendra on five other shoots since coming to Lush Studios, and she has been a world-class brat on each one of them.
“Don’t worry about her, Alex,” Jeff says, taking me by the arm and leading me away from the others. “She’s old news and she fucking knows it. You got this.”
I like Jeff. He’s as much of a father figure to me as a man can be that makes his living filming you during sex. I don’t run in the same circles as the other people from Lush. I don’t go to the parties or do drugs like the rest of them. I come to work, do my job, and go home to unfinished manuscripts I’ve been working on for two years. I can’t stomach the arrogance and pride my co-workers all seem to have.
“Reese asked for you specifically on this shoot. Any idea why?”
My eyes widen at that revelation. “No. I’d never even laid eyes on him before the other day when he was in.”
Jeff sighs and shakes his head. “That’s what I figured.” His eyes meet mine, a message I don’t understand shining through. “Just…be careful with him.”
He turns and walks away, leaving nothing but question marks in his wake. Be careful? Of what? And why had Reese asked for me specifically? So many questions, but I don’t have time to mull them over, because Jeff calls everyone on-set to begin.
In this little scenario, I play the part of a car dealer. I’m not sure how Jeff got access to the private lot we’re using for location, but as I walk out on-set, I can’t help but admire the high-end, hundred thousand dollar cars surrounding me. I put a little sway in my hips as I move, dragging my fingertip slowly across the hood of the charcoal painted, two million dollar Bugatti Chiron in the center of it all.
Jesus. This car alone could feed a starving country in Africa for an entire year. It is beautiful, though. It’s sleek lines and rounded body are sex in car form, and I don’t have to fake it when I sink my teeth into my lip in admiration.
“That’s perfect, Alex,” Jeff calls out. “Now touch yourself.”
I slowly run my hands up my body and caress my full breasts. Letting my eyes fall closed, I do what I always do and drift away. I allow my body to take the lead, and attempt to wash away the reality of the crew standing around me with lights and cameras, and giant microphone booms hanging over my head.
Resting one hand on the side of the car, I drag the other one down my body, and slowly pull up my knee-length, black pencil skirt. Before I get a chance to show the whisper-thin lace panties I’m wearing, Shawn enters the set.
“Beautiful,” he says, his voice already raspy with need.
I spin around, as if startled, being sure to exaggerate my open mouth while keeping my hand just under my skirt as I cry out, “Oh!”
I can already see the bulge in Shawn’s pants as it grows. Figures he’d have to take something beforehand to get himself hard. It seemed all the guys did these days. A hazard of the job, I guess. Pulling my hand away, I smile seductively. “Can I help you with something?”
His answering grin is wolfish. “I’m interested in this one,” he says, indicating the car behind me. “What can you tell me about it?”
“This lovely lady here?” I ask, placing a hand just in front of the windshield, stroking the cool metal hood. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
“Yes, she is,” he murmurs.
I shoot him a coy smile over my shoulder and say the last of my rehearsed lines. “This is a 2017 Bugatti Chiron. She’s fully loaded.” I allow the tip of my tongue to come out and drag it across my lower lip. “She’s the sexiest car on the lot.”
Shawn’s hand comes down to grasp his cock over the well-fitted pants of his suit. “What makes her sexy?”
I cock my head to the side and keep my eyes focused on where his hand is working his cock. I stare for a moment, being sure to increase my breathing as I watch, playing up the turned-on sex kitten act for the camera.
“Look at the beauty of it,” I say, walking toward him, a single fingertip dragging along the side of the vehicle. “Look at the way the sleek metal flows and bends around the vehicle seamlessly. It’s seductive.”
Shawn takes a step toward me and grasps my hips, yanking me to him. “I’m not convinced,” he says. “I want to see how you bend around the vehicle.”
I stare back at him a moment, then lean forward onto the tips of my toes to drag my nose across the corded muscle of his neck. His hands come down, cupping my ass as I press my lips to his pulse and nip his skin with my teeth. “Let me see if I can convince you then,” I tease.
Jeff rarely plots out the sex in his films. We have a set scene that leads up to it, but after that, the actors take the lead, usually ending up in a more authentic encounter. Not knowing what’s coming goes a long way toward getting my body where it needs to be to do my job.
As Shawn’s hands come up to thumb my nipples through the thin fabric of my shirt, his mouth crashes onto mine. Already, I can feel wetness start to pool between my legs. I love sex. I’m a sexual person that enjoys the pleasures of the flesh, and I’m not ashamed to take exactly what I need from a man, whether I know him or not. Doing porn has allowed me to do that in a safe environment, free from STDs and dangerous men, because everyone, including me, are thoroughly tested and looked into before ever setting foot onto a shoot.
I press myself against him, my tongue dueling with his as his hands come up to unbutton my blouse. He tastes like spearmint gum. Buttons undone, Shawn backs me up until my ass hits the hood of the car, and he leans away as his calloused fingertips trail along my arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
His mouth ravishes my cleavage as he presses my full breasts together, his thumbs once again giving praise to my tight nipples. Throwing my head back, I don’t have to act to the pleasure he’s giving me. When his teeth sink into one, just enough to hurt, I let out a tiny yelp and he pulls away, a wicked grin playing on his handsome lips.
I grin back, reaching behind me and unclasping my red, lacy bra. Ever so slowly, I hold his gaze as I pull the straps down my arms, keeping the cups in place with my forearm. Shawn’s shoulders heave as he watches, his tongue flicking out to wet his upper lip. When I don’t move the fabric away fast enough, he reaches out and rips it away.
His warm tongue drags across my puckered flesh in a long, slow lick, as his hand goes into my panties. There’s no way the camera can see what he’s doing, but my body thrums with pleasure with each swipe across my clit. I place the sharp heels of my stilettos on the bumper and spread my knees wide, allowing him to fall between them and give the camera a better angle.
I reach forward and swipe aside his suit jacket, tugging at his belt buckle with one hand. He releases my nipple with a loud pop and gives it one more stroke of his tongue. “You want my pants off, baby?” I whimper a little and nod at him from beneath my lashes. “You first,” he says, lifting my skirt and splaying my back along the hood.
He lifts the backs of my legs and spreads me wider, running his nose along my slit. I feel his teeth scrape along my clit through the fabric, and my belly quivers in anticipation. Again, I love sex, but my favorite part is the feel of a man’s eager tongue lapping at my pussy.
Shawn teases me over my panties, hands coming up to pinch my nipples, but finally, after what feels like forever, he pulls the lacy material aside and sinks his tongue inside me. The shock of his warm, wet flesh on mine has me screaming out a breathy, “Yes!”
Shawn is good at what he does. I’d never worked with him before, but I had heard about his magic tongue and long, thick cock. So far, one of those stories was proving to be more truthful than I’d expected.
His tongue and lips work magic on my clit, making my entire body quiver with need. A burst of heat builds, threatening to burn me from the inside out as I reach for the orgasm his mouth promises. Shawn’s finger appears under his chin, the tip of it slipping inside of me, and I buck my hips, desperate for him to thrust it the rest of the way in.
When he finally gives me what I crave, my eyes roll back in my head. His finger slips in and out of my body, the knuckles of his hand pressing against me from below as his warm tongue circles my clit, applying just the right amount of pressure. The heat turns to a white-hot pleasure, causing my entire body to shake uncontrollably as I moan and buck my hips, pressing his face into my most sensitive area.
Shawn doesn’t stop when my orgasm hits. He draws it out, slowing the motion of his finger and tongue, teasing me, coaxing more out of me, making my body melt into the car beneath me. When I’m finished, he pulls away, his eyes boring into mine. He smirks at me as his hand comes up, wiping my wetness from his lips and he stands, leaning over me as his mouth takes mine.
I’ve had a lot of sex in my twenty-four years. Some people might call me a slut, but I would just turn around and call them prudes. I like what I like, and my sexuality is something I’ve learned to embrace. I refuse to live in shame just because I don’t hide the fact that I like a little kink. I like to have sex in public. I like people watching me have fantastic sex. I like the way sex on camera empowers me to express myself.
In all the times I’ve had sex, nobody has given me an orgasm quite this intense. Shawn knows what he’s doing. My muscles feel limp and shaky as I sit up, reaching once again for his belt buckle. He had blown my mind, and now it was my turn to blow his. Literally.
As I yank his pants open and release his cock, I can’t help but stare at it for a moment. It’s very long and thick, just as I’d heard. It’s also hard and ready, waiting for me to wrap my lips around it and take it deep into my throat. As I reach my hand out, but before I can get any further, his own hand comes down. Taking me gently under the chin, he lifts me until I’m standing.
His hands cup my ass, kneading and squeezing, bringing one knee up over his hip. His cock rests perfectly between my folds as he kisses me, his hips thrusting slightly, causing my entire body to shiver.
When he pulls his mouth from mine and looks down at me, his cheeks are ruddy with need. “Time to put this car to the test,” he says.
In a motion so fast and smooth, I squeal when he spins me around and pushes my chest down on top of the hood of the Bugatti. My naked breasts meet the cool, charcoal steel, and I moan as two fingers sink inside my exposed pussy. His thumb strums at my clit while he thrusts them in and out, bringing on yet another white burn of pleasure.
“You ready, baby?” he asks.
“Yes,” I moan, pressing my ass toward him, wanting more than anything for him to fuck me.
I lift my cheek from where it lies on the hood and face forward to watch our reflection in the windshield. My body freezes when the eyes staring back at me aren’t my own. Shawn’s cock plunges into me as I stare in shock at the man sitting in the driver’s seat of the souped-up sports car, watching it all through the dark tint of the windows.
Reese holds my eyes as Shawn fucks me, his arm moving in motion with Shawn’s thrusts, and I have no doubt that he’s in there stroking his cock. His eyes burn as they watch me, and I’m helpless to do anything. Shawn’s cock is bringing on another orgasm, and one of the sexiest men I have ever seen is watching this man fuck me. It’s the hottest fucking thing that’s ever happened to me.
As my climax builds, I watch as Reese’s arm moves faster, his lips parting on a silent gasp. We fall over the edge of ecstasy together, our eyes locked as I cry out, and my body trembles. Reality comes rushing back as Shawn pulls out and flips me to my back in one swift move. He places a foot on the bumper and gives his cock three firm thrusts before his cum spills onto my chest and belly.
This time, when he kisses me, I don’t marvel at his skill. Instead, I want nothing more than to turn and stare into Reese’s eyes once again. To regain that intense connection we’d seemed to share.
“And cut!” Jeff calls, clapping his hands slowly. “Good fucking scene, guys. That was sexy as hell.”
My mind is still spinning as Shawn pulls me up from the car. Someone hands me a towel, and I absently use it to wipe the cum from my tits as the men pull me into the shade, off to the right. Jeff is still spewing out compliments of excitement, but I can’t stop staring at that car, waiting for Maxwell Reese to show himself. Did anyone even know he was in there?
Just then, the car’s engine roars to life, and before any of us have a chance to question it, it pulls down the lane and out of the parking lot, disappearing behind the fence and down the street.
***
After that little unexpected episode with Reese today, I need a drink. I stop at the local grocery store and grab myself some wine, and everything I need to make my favorite steak fajitas. I don’t know what to make of Reese making yet another appearance into the most sexual parts of my life. Why was he there?
Nobody had known Reese was in that car until he took off. Apparently, the set had been on a private lot after all. Reese owned the lot and the car. Jeff had just shaken his head and continued to pack up, telling everyone not to worry about it.
I reach for a bottle of my favorite wine and turn to place it in my cart.
“I didn’t take you for the type of girl who enjoyed the cheap stuff.” His voice is like a bucket of cold water, ripping me from my thoughts. I stare up at Reese with wide eyes. He grabs the wine from my cart and places it back on the shelf. He then grabs another, much more expensive bottle, and hands it to me. “This one is better. Aged to perfection, made with the finest grapes, and has a crisp taste only found in fine wines.”
I take the bottle from his hand. “Thanks,” I whisper, wondering where the hell he’d come from and why was he standing in front of me, giving me a lesson on wine.
Reese takes the handle of my shopping cart and starts to walk away, clearly expecting me to follow. “I decided it was time for you and I to meet,” he says, grabbing yet another bottle and placing it into the cart. “I’ve been watching you for a very long time, Alexandra Newman.”
My brow furrows as I watch the muscles of his back flex beneath his collared shirt as he places something else into my cart. “You have?”
He glances back at me over his shoulder and smirks. “I have. You’re very beautiful.”
I can’t help it. I may be an independent, strong-willed woman, but when a gorgeous, accomplished man like Maxwell Reese tells you that you’re beautiful, you blush. And I do. My cheeks are burning as I say the only thing I can think of to say. “Thank you.”
He stops, then turns to face me. “I want you to come home with me.”
I don’t respond. I don’t know what to say to that. I’ve been hit on by a lot of men, but none so direct as this one.
Reese takes a step closer, his body dangerously close to mine. “I want to get to know you.”
I just gape up at him, my eyes searching his. Why can’t I speak?
He takes another step, and his long, muscular body is now pressed against my own. He leans down and trails his nose along the curve of my throat, inhaling deeply as he moves. When his mouth reaches my ear, I shiver. “I want to fuck you until you can’t stand on your own two feet,” he whispers. “I want to shove my cock inside that greedy pussy of yours and make you forget your own name.” His teeth nip at my throat, and goosebumps race across my skin. “I want to devour you.”
Jesus. Christ. Every ounce of air in my lungs sits like a brick on my chest. I can’t breathe.
He pulls away slightly, his face floating in front of mine. His tongue darts out and slides across my lower lip in a slow, sensual caress. “Come home with me,” he urges, his tone rough and full of lust.
“I can’t,” I whisper. He yanks his head from mine and stares at me. If the look on his face is any indication, my answer has shocked him, just as much as it has me. “I’m sorry,” I say, finding a little more strength to explain. “I just can’t.”
This man may be sexy, and my own personal wet dream, but he is also my boss, the owner of the company that employs me. If things fall out with him, I could be out a job. One that pays me very well and treats me like an actual human being, which is more than I can say for the other adult film companies out there.
He frowns and shakes his head, bewildered. “You can’t?” I attempt an apologetic smile and shrug my shoulders. “I don’t like that answer, Alex. I don’t like it at all.” Reese wraps his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me closer. “Please say yes.”
As much as he turns me on, his comfort with touching me, and the way he talks to me has me backing away. I may have sex on camera for a living, but I am still a lady. Any man that wants to be with me needs to respect me as one. Reese is treating me like a sure thing. “I don’t know you, Mr. Reese. I’m going to have to kindly decline your offer.”
The strength in my voice comes from out of nowhere. A minute ago, I was a quivering mess at his fingertips, but the more I play his words over in my mind, the more I hate the way they make me feel. Like a toy.
I step around him and walk right past my shopping cart. He’s filled it with things I didn’t want anyway, and I need to put as much space between us as I can before I forget why I said no in the first place.
“Alexandra,” he calls out, just as I’m about to turn the corner. I freeze, but don’t look back. “Have dinner with me.”
My heart flutters a little at his tortured request. It’s clear that it’s not something he asks often. I turn and find him in the same place, one hand gripping the back of his neck, the other thrust out toward me, pleading. “Please,” he pleads. “I would like to take you out for dinner, and get to know you.”
He looks uncomfortable. Scared even. “When?” I ask.
“Tomorrow. Six thirty. I’ll pick you up at your place.”
For the first time, since Maxwell Reese walked on-set the other day, I don’t feel his power over me. For the first time, I’m the one with the power. I don’t make him wait. I do my best to keep the happiness from my voice as I say, “See you then.”
I turn and walk out of the store, forgetting all about my plans for wine and fajitas. I’ve got a bottle of whiskey at home and pizza delivery on speed dial.
***
I’m just stepping out of the tub when my phone rings, with a number I don’t recognize. I quickly dry my hands and put it to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hi…Alex?”
I don’t recognize the man’s voice on the other end. “Yes. Who’s this?”
The man clears his throat. “This is Shawn, from earlier today. I, uh…I got your number from Jeff.”
Only in my world would the man that fucked my brains out just this afternoon sound so completely nervous to call me at home. I wrap the towel around my chest and tuck the phone between my cheek and shoulder as I grab my book and whiskey from the side of the tub. “Hey, Shawn. How are you?”
“Good,” he says. “I’m good. I, uh…I was just calling because I thought, maybe—I mean, if you wanted to, maybe you and I could hang out sometime?”
I place my things on the nightstand beside my bed and take a seat on the mattress. Again, only in my world do I go for over a year without a single date, and suddenly, two very attractive, totally sexy men ask me out on the same damn day.
I pause for a moment, trying to decide on what I should tell him. I mean, I did just accept a date with Reese earlier today, but in no way does that mean we’re exclusive. Besides, I like Shawn. Today was my first day meeting him, and the sex had been phenomenal, but off camera, he seemed like a genuinely good guy. A guy I could see myself spending time with.
“If you don’t want to, that’s okay,” he says, sounding a little disappointed.
I had been silent for too long. “Yeah, Shawn. I’d like that.”
“Awesome,” he chuckles, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “I have a shoot in New York this weekend, but I was thinking next Saturday afternoon? If the weather is nice, we could spend the day on my boat, then grab a bite at this seafood shack down the coast.”
“That sounds perfect.” And I mean it. I love spending time outdoors. I’ve never had a chance to spend much time on a boat, but it sounds like a lot of fun. Getting to know Shawn wouldn’t be so bad either. My date with Reese is tomorrow, which is Wednesday. That gives me a week and a half, which should be plenty of time to figure out if he’s just looking for a quick roll in the sheets with a porn star, or a relationship with a woman he’s in to.
“Yeah?” Shawn asks. “Great. Awesome. Text me your address and I’ll pick you up around eleven, if that works for you.”
A smile creeps across my face as he talks. “That works.”
“Okay. Good. Great. I uh…I’ll text you Friday night for your address.”
“Sounds good, Shawn. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Yeah, Alex. Me too.”
“Bye, Shawn.” My grin has now turned into a full-on smile.
“Bye, gorgeous.”
I hang up the phone, feeling like a fifteen-year-old girl who was just asked to the senior prom. Two dates in one day. Huh. Seems my luck with men may finally be changing.
***
Six thirty the next night rolls around, and Reese hasn’t shown. By six forty-five, I’m wondering if all the primping and waxing I’d put myself through to get ready for this date was worth it. By seven o’clock, I’m just pissed off.
At seven minutes after seven, my doorbell rings. I consider not answering it at all. I’d just poured myself a glass of wine and had slipped out of the ridiculously high stilettos I’d been wearing. They are sexy as hell, but killer on my poor feet.
When the doorbell rings a second time, I stand from my chair and make my way to the front door. Cocking a brow, I open it to a bouquet of red roses, and an apologetic grin on his face.
“I apologize,” Reese quickly blurts out. “A meeting I was in ran late.”
He looks so pitiful standing there, flowers in hand, his head bowed in mock shame. I can’t find it in me to be mad. “Come on in.” I sigh. “I just need to grab my shoes.”
I know I’m letting him off far too easy, but this is our first date, and he is a billionaire. I’m sure he has meetings that run late all the time. Who am I to bitch him out for being late to take me to dinner for the first time?
After grabbing my shoes and my purse, I hurry out to the front hall where Reese is waiting. “So, where are we going?”
Reese grins and helps me place my pashmina around my shoulders. “I made reservations at one of my restaurants,” he says, surprising me. I’d never really put much thought into where all of his money came from. I guess it makes sense that he isn’t just a porn king, though. “It’s quite good. I’m sure you’ll love it.”
When we step outside, I see his car sitting at the curb and freeze; my gasp drowned out by the sound of my own laughter. “This is your car?” I ask, looking down at the familiar Bugatti sitting in my driveway.
He steps up behind me and grips my waist tightly. “Indeed,” he whispers into my ear. “It’s my new favorite car.”
My cheeks flush as he steps away, remembering the look in his eyes as he’d stroked himself while I’d been fucked on the hood of that same car. I think it might just be my new favorite car as well.
The drive to the restaurant is short, and Reese fills me in on why we’re going to one of his restaurants. “I have a business associate meeting us at the restaurant,” he discloses. “I hated to do it during our date, but it was the only time I could fit it in this week. I hope you don’t mind.”
A business meeting as our first date? I frown a little, but what can I do? We’re already on our way there, and if I’m being honest, I’m curious as to what it is that Reese does for a living. “That’s fine,” I murmur. “Not exactly a way to get to know me, like you had said, but it could be a good way for me to get to know you.” I grin over at him, letting him know I’m teasing.
He chuckles. “Good. And getting to know me could be dangerous, Alex. Be careful what you wish for.”
The restaurant itself is upscale. I’m glad I’d had the sense to wear my favorite little black dress. It can pass as either formal or casual, depending on the occasion, and here, it’s definitely a place that calls for formal.
We don’t even have to wait as we walk inside. The hostess smiles as her eyes land on Reese. Grabbing two menus, she escorts us to a table in the far corner of the restaurant, where there is already an older gentleman in a business suit, sitting and scrolling through his phone.
He stands as we approach. “Reese,” he greets, his tone curt, and the first thing I notice is the sudden tension in the air.
Reese stays cool and shakes his hand. “Bennett, nice to see you again. I’d like you to meet Alexandra.”
The tension in Bennett’s face relaxes slightly as his focus shifts to me. He extends his hand for me to take. “Alister Bennett.”
I smile and take his hand, noting the gentle way he shakes it. “Alexandra Newman. It’s lovely to meet you.”
Mr. Bennett chuckles and stands by his chair as Reese pushes mine in behind me. “I very much doubt that, young lady, but it’s kind of you to say so.”
When the hostess hands me the menu, I instantly feel out of place. I don’t recognize a single thing listed, and I can’t even begin to guess how most of the items are pronounced. As Reese and Mr. Bennett talk about business, I scour the words for something I recognize, but as the waiter shows up to fill our wine glasses and take our orders, I realize that it wasn’t necessary.
Reese goes ahead and orders for the both of us, and though I feel like I should be annoyed, I’m not. I’m grateful that I don’t have to attempt to say some of these words and end up getting a fish head on a platter, or something equally disgusting.
As the waiter walks away, I tune into the conversation the two men are having. “My grandfather built this company from the ground up, Reese. There’s no way in hell I’m going to sell it over to you and your lecherous company to drain it of any assets and sell it for profit. I have employees that count on me, and grandchildren of my own to pass Toro Industries on to.”
“You may not have a choice, I’m afraid. What’s done is done. Toro Industries has been dying for years now, and you know it. As top shareholder, I can prove it.” Reese pulls out a file folder full of papers. “Your best bet is to sell it willingly, and maybe come out with a bit of a profit instead of fighting this and losing it all completely.”
The flush of anger creeps up Bennett’s neck, turning his face a shade of red I’ve never seen on another human being before. The tension in the room is back as Bennett’s glare turns from Reese to me. “Ms. Newman, you’ll have to forgive me. I seem to have lost my appetite.”
He pushes out from the table and stands, stopping to press a gentlemanly kiss to the top of my hand. “You seem like a good person, Alexandra. Be careful with this bastard,” he whispers before walking away, without another a word to Reese.
I blink, my mouth open in shock as I turn to Reese. He just shakes his head and laughs. “That old goat is too sentimental to be the CEO of anything, let alone a million-dollar corporation.” Our dinner arrives then, and I stare down at the food on the plate in front of me. “Coq au Vin,” he says. “Try it. It’s delicious.”
I stab a piece of meat with my fork and slowly bring it to my mouth. I’m normally game for trying anything once, but after Bennett’s swift departure, and Reese’s attitude toward him, I’m off my game. But one bite, and all is forgotten. It’s delicious.
“What exactly do you do?” I ask between bites. “Obviously, not just porn.”
Reese chuckles at that idea and takes a bite of his own food. He washes it down with a sip of wine before he answers me. “I own Reese Incorporated. It’s a business that my father started before I was born, and one he wasn’t running properly. When I was twenty-one, I bought it out from under him and have been building my empire ever since.”
“You stole your business from your father?”
“Bought,” he clarifies. “He made out okay in the end. As Reese Industries, I find smaller companies that could make a nice profit, buy them, clean them up and use them to make more money. We have a little bit of everything under our umbrella—publishers, advertising companies.” He looks at me and grins. “Porn.”
“And your father?” I ask.
“Don’t know.” He shrugs his shoulders. “We haven’t spoken since the day the papers were signed.”
He’s so blasé about it, like he couldn’t care less. I don’t know how to respond to that at all, so I change the subject. I regale Reese with some of the funnier stories about the people at Lush. It doesn’t surprise me that he doesn’t know most of the people I talk about, but he laughs in all the right places, and seems to enjoy my sense of humor.
When the meal is finished, he leads me out of the restaurant and to the car. Just before I get inside, he leans closer to me and whispers, “Thank you for tonight, Alex.”
I don’t know if he means for being with him as he spoke to Bennett, or for changing the subject after the unpleasant conversation, but my heart flutters as he smiles at me. I’m thankful that I could make him happy.
***
Reese follows me into the house, and I can feel his eyes devouring every move I make, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end, and my belly to quiver with anticipation. I head for the living room and slip off my shoes. My feet feel instant relief, and I wiggle my toes a little at the freeing feeling of my bare feet on the carpet. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you this, but you look fucking incredible tonight, Alex.” His voice is rough, and coming from much closer than I expected.
I whirl around and find myself pressed against his muscular frame. His hands go to my hips, gripping them tightly as his eyes bore into mine. “We never had dessert,” he says against my skin.
I tilt my head and allow his lips to nibble along the side of my neck, my eyes falling closed as I take in a deep breath. He smells like expensive cologne and clean laundry. He feels like heaven. My mind clouds as I try to remember all the reasons I hadn’t wanted this to happen. He’s my boss. He should respect me. Blah, blah, blah.
All those things cease to matter as his fingertips slowly start lifting the hem of my dress. My lips part on a sigh as his teeth nip the arch of my throat. Maxwell Reese has the art of a good neck kiss down to a science, and I stand helpless in front of him as his mouth moves on me.
“Maxwell…” Oh, God, that feels good. “We can’t…oh, Jesus.” One hand comes up and cups my breast, as the other finds the waistband of my panties from under my skirt. “We can’t do this,” I finally manage to say, pressing myself closer as his thumb grazes across my nipple.
“We can,” he whispers, nipping at my neck before pulling away. His eyes meet mine, sparked with need. “And we’re going to.” His face disappears as he drops to a kneel, both hands tugging at my panties, but keeping me covered with my skirt. “You see, I’ve been watching other men fuck this pussy longer than you know,” he admits. “Time for me to see just how sweet it is.”
One at a time, I lift each foot and allow him to slip my panties off. He bunches them up in one hand and stares up at me from his place on the floor. “You ready for that?”
The way he looks at me makes me feel like the sexiest woman on the planet. I hold his gaze and nod my head, expecting him to stand. “Lay back on the chair,” he orders, all emotion gone from his voice. He sounds demanding and in control. Excitement rushes through me as his stern face falters for a fraction of a second, as he lifts his brows playfully.
Doing as I’m told, I take a seat in the large lounge chair behind me. Reese’s smile is filled with mischief as he takes one of my ankles in each hand. Slowly, he runs his palms up the backs of my legs, lifting them high as he goes.
He stands, my panties still in his hand. “Put your arms in the air,” he orders. I do as I’m told. “Guys like me, Alex,” he says as he ties my left ankle to my left wrist, my panties now ruined forever, “we like our sex a little different than most men.” He reaches up and undoes his necktie. He slowly pulls it off and ties my other ankle to my right wrist. “We like it rough and hard, making sure we are in control.”
Butterflies swirl in my belly. Trussed up like this, I am completely at his mercy. My pussy is exposed and already burning with need. What is the matter with me? Just yesterday, I was telling him this was a bad idea, and now I’m here, spread eagle in front of him, waiting for him to do whatever he damn well pleases with me.
When his mouth hits my pussy, my entire body convulses with surprise and pleasure. His tongue swirls and his lips sip at my clit, his teeth scraping across my sensitive nub in the most delicious way.
I squirm a little, desperate for him to apply more pressure. I’m so lost in the sensations his tongue is giving me, I don’t expect it when his open palm crashes against the bare skin of my ass. “Stay still,” he orders.
My skin stings as my pulse races. I’ve never been spanked before in my life, and I don’t expect the warm rush of heat the feeling gives me. I stay completely still, my moans growing louder, trying so damn hard not to thrust against his mouth.
I’m about to fall over the edge of oblivion when he rips his mouth away. “Not yet, bitch. First you’re gonna suck my cock.”
Uneasiness causes my pleasure to waver. Bitch? I’m all for enjoying dirty talk. In fact, I kind of love it, but I’m nobody’s bitch. Not in the bedroom or out of it. Before I can protest, he yanks my feet to the floor, my wrists still tied to my ankles. The position is uncomfortable. My entire body feels like it’s about to fall forward, where I would smash my face into the carpet.
Reese’s cock is already at my mouth. He grabs onto my hair, lifting my head back at an angle that hurts my throat. He taps the tip of his dick against my lips. “Open.”
My uneasiness is now fear. He looks angry and fierce. There are tears in my eyes, but he pays no attention as he uses the head of his cock to part my lips. “Lick it,” he says, his stern voice husky now.
My tongue darts out and curls along the tip, swirling as he presses it inside. I feel like I’m on a runaway freight train with no way off. The look in his eyes terrifies me. His painful grip on my head hurts, but the throbbing of my pussy has me wanting more.
Unable to move my head, I stay still, sucking with everything I have as Reese fucks my mouth. His cock slips down my throat, making me gag. Strings of saliva drip down my chin, but he thrusts even harder.
Tears fall freely down my cheeks, and I don’t even know any more if it’s from the gagging or the shame I feel at letting him treat me this way. For enjoying it. Reese’s hands come back to my ankles and I’m flipped back on the chair, my hands and feet in the air once again.
I hear the crinkle of a condom wrapper, and this time when he slaps me, I barely notice. His cock plunges into me without warning, and my body struggles to accommodate him. “Fuck, yeah,” he moans. “You like my cock, bitch?”
I moan as the pain disappears and my orgasm quickly rises back to the surface. His fingers come up and pinch my nipples so hard, I fear he’ll tear them off. “Do. You. Like. My. Fucking. Cock. Bitch?”
The pain in my nipples sets off an involuntary reaction, and my orgasm washes over me in an instant. “Yes,” I cry as my body trembles beneath him. “Yes,” I say again and again.
Reese’s body freezes, and I can feel his cock throbbing inside me as he silently cums. When he pulls out, he’s grinning the most beautiful grin and pats me on the ass.
“Let’s get you cleaned up.”
***
Last night, Reese had left shortly after our little foray in the living room, after first informing me that he would be here to see me tonight when he finished with work. Since then, I’ve spent the majority of my time out on the back patio of my house, drinking tea and trying to come to some sort of understanding of what had happened last night.
I’m an overthinker, I know this. I always have been. And maybe that’s what I’ve been doing as I dissect every single touch and every dirty word that had come from Reese’s lips last night, but I still haven’t come up with an answer.
I feel shame, if I’m being honest. Shame for letting him talk to me that way. Shame for letting him hurt me. Shame for not stopping it when I was afraid. Shame for liking it enough to ignore that fear.
There have been times in the past where I was offered a role in different bondage films. Ones where there was spanking, handcuffs, and whips. One of the directors had seemed especially interested in having me tied to a wall at the wrists and ankles. I’d turned them all down flat. As much as I love sex, that kind of thing had never appealed to me.
Until now. It isn’t until I’m getting dressed for my night with Reese that I come to a decision. There is nothing wrong with two people enjoying each other’s bodies in any way they want to, as long as both people are aware of the boundaries, and both of them want it to be that way. There’s no place for shame in any of it. If you like something, like it. Shame is just an emotion made up of the fear of not being what the world expects you to be.
By the time the doorbell rings, I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to roll with this little ‘whatever it is’ I’ve got going on with Maxwell Reese and see where it leads us. I open the door with a smile, and take in his tired eyes.
“Wow. You look like crap.”
Reese chuckles and pulls my body to him, his arms winding around my waist, his face nestled into my neck. “I feel like crap.” He inhales deeply and squeezes me. “This helps, though.”
For several moments, we just stand there, holding one another. The intimacy of it catches me off guard, but when he lifts his face and brushes his lips against mine, I fall into his kiss. His lips are warm and soft as they caress my own, and I can feel every ounce of tension leave his body. His kiss deepens, turning passionate and demanding, his fingertips digging into my hips as he presses me tighter against him.
My body trembles at his touch, my heart fluttering as I struggle to pull air into my lungs. God, this man can kiss. Somehow, no matter how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking, one kiss from Maxwell Reese turns me to putty in his hands.
I feel his chest heave as he takes a deep breath, then his lips are gone and he’s gently pushing me back a step. “Enough of that,” he says. “If we don’t stop, we’ll never get to drink this.”
He holds up a bottle of champagne and wags a brow. I chuckle a little at his playfulness and take a step back. “Well, we wouldn’t want to miss that. Come on in,” I say, holding the door open for him to follow me inside. I start toward the kitchen. “What’s the occasion?”
“Ah,” he murmurs from behind me. “To getting what we want, and taking no prisoners.”
I stretch up on the tips of my toes and pull two champagne glasses down from the top shelf. “Okay.” I place them both onto the counter in front of him. “You might have to elaborate on that.”
He smirks as he pops the cork, sending it flying across the room. “Remember Bennett, from last night?” I nod. “We’ve been in a battle over his business for months now, and today, I finally won. I now own it outright.”
I frown. “From the way that man acted last night, he didn’t want to sell to you.”
Reese hands me a glass. “He didn’t. I won it, fair and square.”
“And what about him? He’d said his grandfather had started that company. What will he do?”
His head jerks back, his brows drawing together. “I don’t give a fuck what that old prick does. Maybe he’ll finally retire.” As Reese sips his champagne, I think back to the look of fear and anger in Mr. Bennett’s eyes last night as he’d spoken with Reese. He didn’t want to lose his company. This must have devastated him.
“Look,” he says, drawing me close to him. “This is business, Alex. It’s the way the world works. I know you took one look at that sad old man and felt sorry for him. That’s what makes you a good person. But me, I’ve built an empire doing the things I do. If I went into everything emotional, I’d be some poor son of a bitch hitting the McDonald’s drive-through on my way to my night job at some factory.”
I sigh. “I don’t get it, but I can see this is a good thing for you, and for that reason,” I take a sip of my champagne, “we should celebrate.”
He grins and rubs his lips against mine. “Take off your dress.”
A thrill rushes through me at his husky tone, my gaze locked on his. One at a time, I slip the straps over my shoulders. With a little shake of my arms, the silky material drops to the floor, pooling around my feet.
The cool air hits my nipples, and I feel them pucker under Reese’s stare. He lifts his hand and drags the back of his knuckles across the tight peak, then trails it down my belly and into my wet center. One finger slips inside of me, followed by another.
“The first time I saw you was in a porn flick,” he murmurs, his fingers moving in and out, dragging across the spot just inside that makes my toes curl and my breasts heave. “It was you and some redheaded woman, licking and touching each other while some big bastard fucked you from behind.” Pressure builds in my core as his thumb joins the stroking. His eyes never leave mine as he speaks.
“You are so fucking sensual, Alex. I could watch you fuck all goddamn day. The way you moan, the way your perfect fucking tits sway with every thrust. The way you roll them round hips of yours to get as much of a man’s cock inside you as you can. You enchanted me.”
He pulls out his fingers and pinches my clit, causing a shockwave of pleasure to burst through me. “I had Lush pursue you as an actress so I could have more say in who you were fucking.” He rolls my clit beneath his thumb as his face comes down to my breast. “I chose the people, the scenes, even the scripts.” He drags his tongue across my nipple. “Do you know why?”
I let out a shuddered breath as I shake my head.
“Because I wanted to see if you could take it, Alex. I wanted to see if you could handle the way I wanted to fuck you.”
“I think I proved that I can,” I say, running my fingers through his thick, dark hair.
He pulls his head away and stares into my eyes. “Almost.” He smirks. “Turn around, Alex.”
My heart skips a beat as I take in the look on his face. Gone is the lightness of the man that walked into my house a victor in some sort of hostile takeover. Gone is the grin he had given me just a few moments before. Reese is serious and heated, and I suddenly feel less like his lover and more like his prey.
He takes me by the hips and spins me himself, facing me toward the kitchen counter. His hand presses into my back, lowering me, my breasts crushing against the cool marble. He steps back, his hands running down my back, caressing my ass. “Has anyone ever taken you here?” he asks, his finger sliding to rub against the tight ring of muscle there.
I squirm away from him, but my body is still trapped between his hips and the counter. “No, and I don’t think I’m ready for that just yet.”
He leans forward, his chest against my back as he kisses and nibbles at my ear. “We’ll get you ready.”
I hear the jingle of his belt and the rustle of fabric as he removes his clothes. “You look so fucking incredible spread out for me like that,” he groans, his breath fanning across my skin. I start to lift my body from the counter, but he holds me down with a gentle hand on my back. “Stay still.”
I hear the crinkle of the condom wrapper, then silence. When his lips hit my pussy, I yelp in surprise, but quickly spread my legs wider, giving him better access. I tilt my hips, thrusting my ass out, allowing his mouth to cover my center, and feel his tongue plunge inside me. He fucks me with his mouth, wringing moans and pants from me while his hands massage my ass.
“You like my mouth, don’t you, bitch?” he asks as he pulls his lips away from my clit with a pop. “You like it when I taste that greedy little pussy of yours.”
I moan, because he’s right. I do like it. I like it so much that I want to reach back and press his face into my heat, forcing him to never stop, but I don’t. I stay put, like he’d ordered, spread out on the counter like Christmas dinner.
When his cock plunges inside me, I grip the marble edge below me and hold on tightly as he thrusts in and out, his hips slapping into mine. I’m so close to coming, I barely notice when his thumb finds its way to my ass.
“No,” I cry out, but he’s already thrust it inside, as far as it will go.
“Yes,” he pants, his hips still moving. “You’ll like it. Relax, Alex.”
Tears prick at my eyes as he thrusts his thumb in tandem with his cock, and the discomfort distracts me from whatever pleasure I had been feeling. “I don’t like that, Max. Stop.”
He pulls his thumb from my body, growling in frustration, and then I lose his cock too. “You like the way I fuck you, Alex?”
His question catches me off guard. I suck in a breath before answering. “Yes, but—”
“Then you need to fucking trust me, okay. Now bend the fuck over.”
I frown. I can handle a lot of things, once I get used to them—the spanking, the way he calls me bitch, and even the way he orders me around in that cold voice he sometimes has—but I won’t be forced to do something I don’t want to do. “No. I—”
“Jesus Christ,” he snarls. Reese’s fingers tangle through my hair and he forces my head back down to the counter. Once there, I can’t move. He holds me there, his body pressing down on mine, his hand crushing my face into the marble. “I want your ass, Alex. I want what nobody else has ever fucking had.”
When I feel his cock at my virgin opening, a place that I have never allowed a man, my eyes widen and I start to fight. “No!” I scream. “No!”
With only the lube of the latex condom, and what he’d gotten from my pussy just moments before, Reese pushes his dick into my ass in a thrust that feels like he’s ripping me in two. I hear him groan with pleasure over my own silent scream. I can’t breathe. This hurts so fucking bad.
Again, I try to squirm away, but with every movement of my body, the pain only gets worse. “Stop!” I cry, tears making their way down my cheeks. “Please.”
“Fuck, baby,” he groans, his hips thrusting harder, the sound of his skin slapping against mine mingling with his panting and my sobs.
As he continues to fuck me—hell, he’s not fucking me, he’s raping me—I feel myself disconnect from my body. It’s like I kind of just drift away, watching the scene in front of me in horror as the man I was slowly becoming very fond of rapes me in my own kitchen.
“Oh, Jesus,” he moans, and his body goes stiff as his hips shudder into mine. “Oh, fuck.” I lay there, still and defeated as he spills his pleasure into me, a little more of my pride dying with each passing second.
As Reese pulls out, he gives me a little smack on the ass, but I still don’t move. “See, baby?” I hear him rip off the condom and throw it into the trash. “I told you you’d like it.”
Gathering what little strength I can find in my shaken soul, I slowly push myself up to a standing position, and turn to face him. “Get out,” I whisper.
Reese’s grin fades. “What?”
“Get out!” I shriek.
Reese blinks. “Jesus Christ, Alex. What’s your fucking problem?”
My body shakes as I kneel and pick up my wrinkled dress. I’d chosen it because it made me feel beautiful. Now it barely conceals me as I hold it in front of me to cover my breasts. A sob rips through me, my chest aching as I look into his eyes. “Leave.”
Reese stares at me for a moment, then shakes his head in disbelief. “Fine,” he says, angrily tugging on his pants and driving his arms through the sleeves of his shirt. “I don’t need this shit.”
When I hear his car tear out of my driveway, I stop pretending I’m strong and drop to my knees, crying.
***
I’d showered until the water ran cold, but I still feel dirty. So fucking dirty. I pop Advil and sit on an icepack, hoping it will take the pain from my bottom, but so far, nothing has worked. As much as my poor ass hurts, that’s nothing compared to what my mind feels right now.
I feel used and violated, confused and outraged, even murderous. I just need someone to come along and tell me it’s okay. But nobody’s coming. Since I left home, I’ve kept to myself, making few friends, and focusing on getting my degree. There was no time for socializing.
I debate on calling the police, but I know it’s useless. I don’t even really know if what just happened can even be called rape. I’d wanted him to fuck me. I’d taken my clothes off for him. I’d spread myself out on the counter for him. I knew Reese liked it rough, but I’d wanted him anyway. So he took it a little further. Does that mean it’s rape? What police officer is going to believe a porn star was raped by a sexy billionaire?
When I crawl into bed, I keep on all of my clothes. No more sleeping naked. It leaves me vulnerable, and right now, I can’t handle that. I cry for hours, long after the sun starts to rise. When sleep finally does take me, the tears continue to fall.
***
I’m sitting in my living room, watching a movie I’m not even interested in, when the doorbell rings. Gingerly, I climb to my feet, keeping the thick, puffy blanket wrapped around my shoulders. Slowly, I walk toward the door, not caring what a mess I look like.
When I tug it open, Reese stands on the front step, a grin on his face, and a gift-wrapped package in his outstretched hand. I feel nothing. Numb. I stare at his face, then at his gift before taking a step back to close the door.
His foot jams in the crack, just before I can close it all the way. “You’re still mad,” he says, like he figures I should be over it by now. “Come on, babe. Don’t be that way. It was sex. Good fucking sex. What are you so pissed off about?”
That clears away some of the numbness. Rage burns deep in my belly, bubbling and boiling, and threatening to incinerate me from the inside out if I don’t release it. “Are you kidding me?” I say, my voice sounding distant and controlled. “Sex? You think that was sex? Reese, you raped me. You fucking raped me, and you want to know why I’m so pissed off?” I shake my head. “You need help.”
Reese’s head flies back at the word “rape,” and he backs up a step. I use the movement to my advantage and slam the door closed between us, locking first the knob, then throwing the deadbolt.
“You think I raped you?” he yells through the door. “Me? You can’t rape a fucking porn star, Alex. You get paid to fuck people. It’s your goddamn job!”
“I’m calling the police,” I choke out, but I’m not. The police won’t help a woman like me against a man like Reese. I just want him to go away so I can go back to my living room, where I can stare off into space and try to remember why I was ever attracted to this man in the first place.
“Fuck!” he roars, and the door in front of me rocks on its hinges. I don’t’ know if he punched it or kicked it, but this old door can’t take too many more of those blows. Silence follows, and then I hear his voice, close to me, but on the other side of the thick wood. “Alex, don’t do this,” he says softly. “It’s not supposed to be this way.”
Tears escape from between my lashes as I press my forehead to the door, wishing I could rewind to last night and stop it all before he’d had the chance to hurt me. Before he ruined any hope of he and I becoming an ‘us.’
After a few minutes, I start to wonder if he’s left, but then I hear his feet shuffling on the porch. “Alex?” he calls softly. “Baby, I’m gonna go, but this isn’t over. We need to talk about this.”
I cover my mouth with my shaking hand as a sob threatens to burst past my lips. So many emotions are swirling inside me, I feel like I’m about to come out of my own skin. I tremble as I listen to his footsteps recede down the front stairs, and hear the sound of him getting into his car.
It’s not until I can no longer hear the sound of his car leaving the driveway that I allow myself to scream. I scream in anger and pain, and even with rage. When I’m finished, I slowly walk toward the living room, turn off the movie, and go to my bedroom. There, throat raw from screaming, body aching from last night, and my soul feeling like it’s broken in two, I lay in the darkness and try not to think.
***
For the next five days, I don’t leave my house. Reese had called me so many times, my voicemail had no more room for messages, and the sound of its ring was driving me crazy. I’d turned it off completely after the first day.
In that time, I’d received sixteen flower deliveries, each one with a card attached, but I haven’t opened a single one. Instead, I took each card, tossed them in the trash, and jumped into the shower. It took me almost ten minutes to load all those flowers into my car, and another twenty to drive them to a nearby retirement home.
I’ve sulked long enough, grieving the loss of my dignity and potential relationship. It’s time to get back to my life, but I can’t do that with all the flowers serving as a constant memory of what Maxwell Reese had done to me.
The ladies at the retirement home had been excited with my donation, and I’d even helped a couple of them put them in just the right places in their rooms. It made me feel good to bring them joy, but I hated that it took me being raped by a remorseless man to be able to do that.
Finally, house cleared of flowers, garbage full of tear-drenched tissues at the curb, I decide to go for a run. I need to clear my head, and I need to forget that I ever met Maxwell Reese. He may have taken a piece of me that night, but I wasn’t going to let him break me.
***
I almost call Jeff and tell him that I can’t come in today. I’ve been scheduled for this shoot for months, and now that I know the part Reese had played in each of my roles, it turns my stomach to actually go through with it.
In the end, I decide to go. One more film, one more paycheck, and then I’m out. Out of Lush Studios, out of porn, out of the toxic circle Reese manipulates without anybody even knowing.
I can tell Jeff knows that something is wrong with me, just by the way he’s watching me. I don’t know what I’m doing to give it away. My bottom has finally healed up, and I’m trying my best to be friendly. Nevertheless, his eyes follow me off-set, worry clear in his heavy brow.
When filming begins, I feel strange. I go through the motions, making all the right noises and doing all the things I’d seen in the script, but I feel nothing. No excitement at being watched by the rest of the crew. When Ricky touches me, no pleasure washes over me. It’s like part of me is dead inside. Like my body is there, but my mind is asleep, not connecting to the outside world at all.
That connection is forced when I hear a door at the back of the studio slam shut, and the whispers as the crew talk to each other. My mind connects with my vision as my eyes snap toward the sounds and land on Reese. He’s standing beside the camera, his arms folded, his gaze riveted on me.
The feelings of filth return, of being dirty and used up. I rip my eyes away from him, but what I want to do is grab the blanket beneath me and use it to shield my body from his hungry stare before running out of the room, screaming. But I don’t. Ricky is below me as I ride his cock, my hips swaying in time with his grunts.
Wanting to just get this over with so I can go home, far away from Reese, I squeeze the muscles in my pussy, picking up the pace. My body quivers with my climax, but it’s not real. I fake it, focusing on Ricky and doing whatever I can think of to get him to finish. When he finally pulls out, he spills his cum across my belly and up onto my breasts, his lips sipping at mine.
As soon as Jeff says, “Cut,” I jump off the bed and run down the hall, into the room I’ve used to change my clothes. I see him in the hall when I leave, leaning there, watching me, his hands in his pockets, but I don’t stop. It takes everything in me not to run out of there.
Instead, I keep my head held high, my car keys held in just the right position so that if I need to punch someone, I can take out an eye or two. He doesn’t speak to me, but he does follow me. As I get into my car, Reese stands just outside the door of the studio, watching as I pull away, his face blank, but his fists clenched tight.
***
I’m in my garden, pulling weeds, when the text comes in from Shawn. I’d just turned my phone on that morning for the first time, making sure to block Reese’s number and deleting all the messages without listening to a single one.
Shawn: You still up for dinner tomorrow?
Dinner. In the whirlwind week I’d had with Reese, I’d forgotten all about dinner with Shawn. My finger hovers over the screen as I try to decide on what to say. I really don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave my house, or spend time with anyone right now.
But Shawn had asked me, and he seemed like such a nice guy. Maybe getting out would be good for me. Since everything had happened, I hadn’t talked to anyone, other than the minimal conversations I’d had during my shoot.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I text him back.
Me: For sure! What time?
I watch the three little dots bounce as he types out his reply.
Shawn: 7 work for you?
Me: Absolutely. See you then ☺
I stuff my phone back into the back pocket of my jeans and go back to weeding. When the Bugatti passes by my house, it’s moving slow. I can’t see him inside of it, but I can feel his eyes on me. It seems to take him forever to go by, and I just stand there, frozen, not sure what I’ll do if he gets brave enough to turn into my driveway.
He stops in the middle of the road, the car idling. There’s no traffic. There’s nothing. One of the nicest things about living out here is the seclusion, but right now, that doesn’t seem like a good thing at all.
My heart feels like it’s about to explode as I stand there, unable to breathe. It feels like forever passes as he sits there, but it’s probably only a minute. Finally, he eases off the brake and the car rolls forward, still slowly, but it’s not until it completely disappears from my sight that I pick up my things and hurry inside.
***
Shawn is nervous when he picks me up. I can tell. It’s funny to me, and maybe even a touch sweet, because the man has been balls deep inside of me, but he is clearly flustered when I open the door. “You look lovely, Alex,” he compliments as I step outside.
I don’t dare invite him in. I had to force myself to keep this date after what Reese had done, and while I’m not afraid of Shawn, I don’t feel comfortable being alone with him in my house. Not so soon after.
“Thank you,” I reply with a smile, poking my arm through his and following him to his car. He is the perfect gentleman as he holds it open for me, closing it behind me once I’m inside. Just like Reese did. As Shawn rounds the car to the driver’s side, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Shawn is not Reese.
“So,” he says, after getting settled into his seat and pulling out of my driveway. “How was your week?”
I feel the burn of tears trying to form behind my eyelids, but I beat them back. “Okay. Nothing too exciting,” I lie. “How about you? You have a good shoot?”
Shawn’s eyes flick to mine, then slide back to the road ahead. “Not exactly. It seems I may have done something to piss someone off at Lush. They recast the role with some other dude, and didn’t even bother to tell me. I spent the rest of the week at my brother’s place, hanging out with him and his wife, and their new baby girl.”
“Recast you?” I wrinkle my nose. “Can they do that? Isn’t that against your contract?”
Shawn shrugs. “Apparently, my contract was up two weeks ago, so they don’t owe me shit.”
“That sucks, Shawn. I’m sorry that happened. Sounds like you had a nice visit with family, though.”
He smiles. “I did. They’re great, and to be honest, I’ve been wanting to get out of this porn gig for a while now. Maybe this will be the kick in the ass I need to find something new.” He shrugs. “Anyway, let’s not talk about all that. I asked you out because I want to get to know you. Tell me about Alex.”
I smile. “What do you want to know?”
Shawn’s lip curls up in a smile of his own as he glances over at me. “Absolutely everything.”
Heat floods my cheeks as his eyes drink me in, and I have to look away from him to collect myself. “Um…there’s not much to know, really.” I tell him about my childhood and growing up in my parent’s house. I tell him about my book, and how I hope to be a published author one day.
Twice while I’m talking, I think I’ve bored him. I get the impression he’s not listening as his eyes keep flicking to the rearview mirror, his brows creased in a frown, but when I stop talking, he raises a brow or asks a question, proving that he is paying attention.
The third time I think I’ve lost him, I finally just ask, “Is everything okay?”
Shawn’s worried gaze slides from the mirror to me, then back to the road. “I don’t know. I think someone may be following us.”
Shit. I turn in my seat and look over my shoulder at the headlights behind us, but it’s too dark to see the actual car behind the lights. “Are you sure?”
“I don’t know. They’ve been back there the entire time, and they’re practically riding in my trunk. Whoever it is needs to back off.” His knuckles are white as he grips the wheel.
There’s not a doubt in my mind that it’s Reese back there, trying to scare us. How far is he going to take this? Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of running scared, I place a hand on Shawn’s knee, and can’t help but smile when he jumps a little at my touch. “They’re probably just going the same way as us,” I tell him, and give his knee a squeeze.
Shawn’s eyes lift from my hand to my eyes, then back to the road. “Jesus,” he mutters, his grin wide on his face.
“What?”
Shawn shakes his head, chuckling. “I don’t know what it is about you, woman, but you make me feel like a damn teenager. I can’t remember the last time I was this nervous around a woman.”
I laugh, Reese almost forgotten. “You’re crazy. You don’t need to be nervous. Let’s just have some fun, okay?”
Shawn nods his head, his grin still spread wide on his handsome face, and takes my hand in his. He brings it to his lips and brushes a gentle kiss to the back of it. “Deal.”
The restaurant is one I’d never been to. A big Texas steakhouse with loud country music blaring over the speakers, and servers in jeans and cowboy boots, bustling around the giant dining area. The aromatic wafting of food past my nose makes my stomach growl as we are led to our seats. We each order a beer, and the waitress is back in a flash with two beers and a giant bowl of homemade tortilla chips and salsa.
“This is fantastic,” I say, cramming another chip in my mouth.
“It’s my favorite spot.” Shawn takes a swig of his beer. “Reminds me of home.”
“You from Texas?”
“Nope.” He grins. “From a small town in Florida, but we have one of these steakhouses there too.”
For the next twenty minutes, as we wait for our food, I ask Shawn more questions about his past. It’s refreshing to talk to someone who’s so open and candid about his own history, and the way he describes his family makes me wish I knew that kind of closeness.
My family had always been so cold and biblically regimented. There hadn’t been closeness with anybody but Jesus. Maybe that’s why I crave sex. Maybe it’s because I had never received much of anything in the way of affection or love, and sex makes me feel powerful and validated. But the laughter and the happiness Shawn describes as he talks about his family isn’t something I would ever get from sex. I don’t know that I’d ever be able to have that.
“I’m curious,” I say after our food arrives. “Why porn? I mean, your life sounds like a fairy-tale to me, so how did you get into porn?”
Shawn sighs, and his shoulders lift in a shrug. “Sex?” He laughs. “I don’t know. It started out as a joke at first. Some chick approached me on the street and said she wanted to put me in a movie. My buddies thought it was hilarious.” He tips his bottle to his lips and takes a swig of his beer. “I was twenty years old. What twenty-year-old in the world wouldn’t want to screw all those beautiful women?”
“And now you want out?”
“As of last week, I guess it’s more of a now I am out.”
“So, why now?”
Shawn spreads his hands wide. “I grew up? Sex isn’t as much fun as it used to be? Or maybe it’s the way women in the real world react when they find out what I do for a living. Like they want to spray themselves with disinfectant and run screaming from the building. There’s a lot of reasons.” He tilts his head to the side. “What about you? Do you ever think about quitting?”
I pick at the label on my beer and watch as the pieces fall to the table. “I think I’m done.”
“You think?”
“I still have a month on my contract, but I don’t want to do it anymore.” I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I want out.”
“Hey.” Shawn’s finger comes across the table and underneath my chin, tilting my head up so he can study my face. “What’s going on, Alex?”
I shrug and dash away the stray tear that had escaped with the back of my hand. “Nothing I can’t handle,” I tell him, but I think I’m lying. I don’t know what I can handle anymore.
Shawn looks like he’s going to press the issue, but after a few seconds, he sighs and moves his hand away. “If you ever need to talk, honey, you can always call on me.”
Heat burns in my chest at his offer, and I force myself to smile across the table at him, not letting the pools of tears fall. “Thank you. I’ll remember that.”
The waitress comes then with the bill, and after paying it, Shawn pulls out my chair and together we head to the car. “You want to go home now, or do you want to have a little fun?” he asks.
I don’t want to go home ever again. That’s where those memories of Reese are. “Fun. Always fun.”
The smile on Shawn’s face is contagious, and before I know it, we’re driving down the street to find a little fun.
***
The dance club Shawn takes me to is one I’d never been to before. He orders us each another beer, then moves me to the dance floor. Together we dance, our bodies swaying and hopping to the heavy beat. There’s no room for conversation. The music is so loud, we couldn’t have one if we tried.
One song after another plays, and still we dance. I close my eyes and lose myself to the rhythm. Shawn dances close, but never steps over the line of touching me anywhere but my waist. It’s nice for a change. I usually avoid dance clubs because there’s only so much a woman can take of being groped and pawed at. Any other time I’ve been to one, the men line up like dogs, all of them feeling entitled to take their shot at getting me into bed, and very few of them willing to take the hint that it’s never going to happen.
At the end of the night, the last song is a slow one. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world, Shawn pulls me into him. I wrap my arms around his neck and lay my head on his chest. I can feel the steady beat of his heart. The scent of his aftershave and the smell of his sweat surrounds me, cocooning me in all that is him, and I feel…something.
At first, I don’t know what that something is, but as his hand against the small of my back draws me closer, and I feel the press of his lips to my hair, I realize what it is that I’m feeling. Safe. Even though I barely know him, Shawn makes me feel safe and protected. Cared for.
Even as the music ends and the lights in the bar turn on, he holds me tight. He’s smiling down at me when I lift my cheek from his chest. “You ready to get out of here, gorgeous?”
Shawn holds my hand as we weave through the crowd and out into the chilly night air. The breeze has picked up since we’d last been outside, and I shiver a little.
Inside the car, he cranks the heat to high and turns on the heated seats. Slowly, my body warms, and I rest my head back against the headrest, a soft smile claiming my face. “I had fun tonight,” I tell him, turning my head a little so I can see his face.
Shawn grins. “Good. Me too.” His hand wraps around mine, and he rests both our arms on the center console. We drive the rest of the way in silence, his thumb stroking my skin. When he finally pulls up in front of my house, I realize I really don’t want him to go. It’s almost three in the morning, but the idea of being alone after such a wonderful evening, in this house of all places, has anxiety rearing her ugly head.
“Do you want to come in for a drink?”
He glances at me, his gaze seeming to study me before he answers. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Alex. I really want this—us—to be about something more than sex.” He gives my hand a squeeze. “Is that stupid?”
My cheeks burn as I realize what he’d thought I meant. “I wasn’t thinking sex, Shawn. I just don’t really want to be alone right now.”
I hate revealing that to him, especially after not telling him what was bothering me earlier, but I can’t think about that right now. Staring up at my little empty house, with all the windows dark inside, has me wanting to run away, screaming.
This whole thing with Reese has messed with my head more than I thought it would. It might be time to find someone to talk to about what had happened. Someone that can help me deal with the way he’s left me feeling. Maybe I should tell Shawn.
“I guess a coffee would be all right,” he says, unbuckling his seat belt. After waiting for him to open my door, I step out of the car and dig around inside my purse for my house key. “Nice little place you have here. It’s quiet.”
I stick my key in the lock and smile. “It is. I love having my privacy.”
As we step inside, I switch on the lights. “Do you take cream and sugar?” Heading down the hallway, I flip on more light switches. Inside the kitchen, I turn on the kettle and watch as Shawn takes in my décor.
“Yes,” he answers, his head swiveling as he looks around. “This place is gorgeous, Alex. Did you decorate it yourself?”
“Yep. It’s kind of a hobby.” I point at my mismatched table and chairs. “I pick up old furniture at auctions and yard sales, then refinish them. I started doing it because I was broke, but found I liked the stuff I fixed up better than the stuff I bought new.”
“Well, you have an eye, that’s for sure. I should have you give me a hand at my house. It could definitely use a woman’s touch.”
A creak from the hallway draws my eyes from him to the door and my heart drops, sinking into the floor and shattering. “Isn’t this cozy,” Reese says, his shoulder resting against the door jamb. “You two lovebirds on a date? How sweet.”
Shawn whips around, his forehead creasing in confusion, his body coming to stand in front of me. My protector. “What the fuck? What are you doing here?”
Reese clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “No, Shawn. The question is, what the fuck are you doing here? It seems our girl, Alex, forgot to let you in on a little secret.”
I watch the two of them speaking to each other, their bodies taught, their posture full of aggression, and I can’t move. Fear has stolen my words and my ability to understand what is going on.
Shawn turns his head, still protecting me with his body as he looks at me and says, “What’s going on, Alex? What is he talking about?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, cupping my elbows with my hands to stop the trembling that’s taken over my body.
“Alex is mine, Shawn. She’s not for you.” As Reese steps into the room, the shadows fall away from him, and I can finally see the gun clutched in his hand. “But it seems my Alex here really liked fucking you the other day,” he continues. “She wanted to have another go at you, isn’t that right, babe?”
The comfortable way he calls me ‘babe’ has a sob bursting from my throat. Reese smiles at me, without any trace of the kindness I’d seen there in the past. “Ah, Alex, don’t worry. You’ll get your fun. I know how much you like it when people watch you fuck some guy’s brains out. But see, now that you’re mine, you can’t do that without me.”
He’s crazy. He’s lost his damn mind! “Max, put the gun away,” I say, my voice shaky and thick.
“What, this?” He waves it in the air. “Nah. I’m going to need this. I was watching you guys tonight. You looked like you were having a lot of fun. So now, let’s bring the fun back here so we can all enjoy it.”
Shawn’s shoulders are heaving in front of me, and I can see the red flush of anger spread across the back of his neck. “Get out,” he seethes.
Reese chuckles and removes the safety on the gun. “Not happening, asshole. Now take off your clothes.”
“Fuck you,” Shawn spits, his hand coming back to push me farther behind him.
The shot hits the floor, right in front of Shawn’s feet, leaving a perfectly round hole in the linoleum that disappears into the basement. My ears ring in the silence that follows, the scream still escaping past my lips.
“Shut up!” he roars. “You did this, Alex. You. So you shut the fuck up and take your punishment.”
This is like a bad dream. It has to be. There’s no other explanation for why this is happening. Shawn slowly starts peeling off his clothes. He turns and looks at me before he removes his pants. “It’s okay,” he says. “It’s going to be okay. Just do what he says and he’ll leave.”
Reese’s laughter booms through the tiny room as my hearing slowly starts to go back to normal. “Not happening, Shawn. You see, Alex belongs to me, and nobody touches anything that belongs to me without my permission. So, I’ll let you play with her, but you’re going to play by my rules.” His dead eyes swing to me. “Strip, Alex.”
My hands tremble as I reach behind me and undo my dress. I don’t take my eyes off Reese as I strip out of my clothes, kicking them off to the side, then covering my nudity with my arms the best I can. “Awe, you shy, Alex?” He laughs. “You shouldn’t be. You’ve fucked us both.” He takes a step closer. “Get up on the counter and spread your legs.”
Tears fall freely down my face, dripping onto my naked chest as I hop up onto the counter. “Wider!” he snaps. I spread my legs wider and turn my head away. Shawn’s breathing is loud and rough, but I can’t look at him.
“Isn’t that the prettiest pussy you’ve ever seen, Shawn? Did you know that the only reason you’ve been anywhere near this pussy before was because I wanted to watch you fuck her?”
“You’re a fucking psychopath,” Shawn snarls.
“Perhaps,” Reese replies. When his finger lightly traces the outer edge of my sex, I jump, and my sobs cause my entire body to shake. “The rules are, you can lick this pretty pink cunt. You can stick your cock inside it and fuck it raw, but you can only do those two things while I’m watching. I like to watch Alex work.” He slips a finger inside me, slowly moving it in and out. I turn my head away and squeeze my eyes closed, clamping my lips shut so I don’t scream. “Her pussy is fair game, Shawn, but her lips never touch that tainted dick of yours, and you never put it anywhere near her ass. That ass is mine. Got it?”
“Fuck you,” he spits.
Reese keeps fucking me with his finger, even as he brings the butt of the gun down on Shawn’s cheek. I hear the crack of it as it hits, and my eyes spring open to see Shawn on his knees. “Not nice, Shawn. I’m letting you play with my things and you’re being an asshole.” He pulls his finger out of me and puts it to his lips. “She tastes incredible, doesn’t she?” He sucks his finger into his mouth and licks away the wet he’d stolen from inside me. “Show me how you like to lick her.”
Shawn is still on his knees, his defiant eyes pinned on Reese.
“Show me!” Reese roars, pressing the gun to his head.
When Shawn moves between my legs, his eyes meet mine. The pain I see in them isn’t a physical pain. It’s filled with fear, regret, and sorrow. “I’m sorry, Alex,” he whispers.
Reese keeps the gun to the back of Shawn’s head and uses it to push him forward, smashing his face into my sex. “Nice and slow,” he says.
As Shawn’s tongue slides across my clit, I barely feel it. I feel only humiliation and panic. “Keep licking,” Reese orders. “Make her scream like you did the other day.”
Shawn’s eyes are still locked on mine as he swirls his tongue on my nub. I nod my head, telling him it’s okay, but it’s not and he knows it. Against my will, I start to feel the burn of pleasure building strong, but this time, it’s coupled with terror, not a need for release. I moan and squirm, but it’s all for show. I don’t dare piss off Reese, not while he has that gun pressed against the back of Shawn’s skull.
I fake the best orgasm I can manage, making the mistake of looking up at Reese as I do. His eyes are dead and cold as he stares down at Shawn working me with his mouth. My blood chills as I watch him, fear wrapping her icy fingers around my heart and squeezing until I can barely breathe.
Reese digs his fingers into Shawn’s hair and pulls his head back. “Now fuck her,” he orders.
Shawn’s eyes are helpless as he stares up at me from his place between my legs. The tears are still falling from my eyes, my face drenched in my humiliation. As Shawn stands, the kettle begins its long, low whistle, letting me know it’s done so I can make our coffee.
The next few seconds happen so fast, I can barely make sense of them. Shawn moves between my legs, and then he’s gone. As if in a dream, I watch as he snatches up the screaming kettle and spins, crashing the hot metal surface against the side of Reese’s face. Boiling hot water splashes all three of us, scalding my legs and upper thighs.
The two men are on the floor, a tangle of punching fists and screaming. “Alex,” Shawn shouts. “Run!”
I hop down off the counter, my skin on fire from where the water had burned me. Across the room, I see Reese’s gun lying on the floor, under the kitchen table. Reese must have dropped it when Shawn attacked him.
I scramble toward it on my hands and knees, unable to gain much traction on the water soaked floor. Behind me, fists crash into skin, and the men continue to scream and grunt as they try to take each other out.
When my hand wraps around the cold metal grip of the gun, I slide it out and force myself to my feet. “Enough,” I scream, swinging the gun toward Reese and holding it with both hands to stop the trembling.
The two men turn. Reese’s eyes go wide as he sees me standing over him with his own gun pointed at his head. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never shot a gun in my life. I don’t know how to use it at all, and my hands are shaking uncontrollably. If I shoot now, the chances of hitting Shawn are just as likely as me hitting Reese.
“You’re not going to use that, baby,” Reese drawls, slowly coming to his feet. His face and neck are already turning red from where the water had scalded him. He takes a step toward me, his hand outstretched. “Give me the gun, Alex.”
Thrusting the gun forward, I take a step back. “Stop,” I say, my voice cracking as I choke back my panic.
Reese takes another step toward me, and then another. My finger pulls the trigger as if on its own. Just before he reaches me, I shoot. Reese is standing in front of me one moment, and on the floor, unmoving, the next.
Blood pools on the floor around him, mixing with the steaming water, turning it an angry pink color that is sure to stain my floor forever. Reese’s eyes are filled with pain and shock as he stares up at me, his mouth open, his hand clutching the wound in his chest.
I don’t realize I’m screaming until Shawn wraps his hand around mine, taking the gun from my grasp and pulling me to him. He whispers to me, but I can’t hear him. My ears are ringing, and the world is spinning. I can’t breathe.
I feel myself falling as my vision fades to black.
***
Shawn is sitting by my side when I come to, both hands gripping one of mine. His face is turned away from me as he stares out the window. For a moment, I’m not sure where I am, but one look at the puffed red skin on the side of Shawn’s face, everything comes back to me.
The cry that escapes my lips sounds raw and strangled. Shawn’s head whips to mine, and his hands squeeze tightly around my fingers. “Hey,” he whispers. “It’s okay, Alex. We’re okay.”
My shoulders heave as I take deep breaths, his calming voice doing little to help me get my emotions under control. The hospital room I’m in is tiny, the walls made up of curtains. I’m wearing my clothes still, and there are no machines hooked up to me, but I’m lying in the bed, the blankets pulled up to my chest.
Shawn continues to talk softly to me, his hands never letting go of mine as his voice breaks through, beating back the panic that threatens to overwhelm me. “You were so fucking brave, honey,” he says. “So brave.”
“Reese?” I ask, my question coming out as a croak from my raw throat.
Shawn’s face is sad. He’s dead. I had killed him. More sobs burst through my aching throat. I killed a man.
“Alex, you saved us. That man…” He shakes his head. “What he wanted to do to us was vile. He would have killed us both if we didn’t do what he wanted. You saved us both.”
“I was so scared,” I sob, curling up into a ball on the bed.
“I know, honey. I know you were.” Shawn leans over and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug that warms my entire body. We sit that way for several minutes, me sobbing and him rocking me gently from side to side, telling me how very brave I am.
Forcing down the overwhelming emotion, I’m finally able to catch a breath and ask the one question I hadn’t thought to ask yet. “Why am I here?”
“You bumped your head pretty good when you fainted,” he informs me. “They said you were likely in shock, but wanted to keep an eye on you.”
I wipe away the last of my tears and turn to look into Shawn’s eyes. “I want to go home.”
***
Two weeks later, I take one last look around my house and slip outside, locking the door behind me. I walk past the For Sale sign, hoping that the people coming to look at the house today love it, and hopefully buy it, freeing me from the memories it holds and the nightmares it gives me.
When I first got out of the hospital, I hadn’t been able to come back inside without Shawn. That man had been my rock. He’s been by my side through it all, even helping me get the house ready to sell and letting me stay at his place until it does.
After what had happened, I’d had no issues getting out of my contract with Lush Studios, and I’d already put an offer in on a house on the other side of town. Shawn and I have been taking it slow, but we’ve spent every night together in his bed. I couldn’t bear to be alone. Not at night.
Everything in my life is changing, and even though my heart still hurts every time I think about Reese and everything that has happened, I’m looking forward to the future—a new future. I don’t know what that will look like, or if Shawn will be a part of it, but right now, things are getting better, day by day.
I started writing again. It’s a completely new story, filled with love, betrayal, and the greed of one man. It’s the story that had twisted my life and made me re-evaluate everything I ever thought I knew about myself. Even if I never get it published, the writing itself is therapeutic, and so much of my anger and sorrow practically pour out onto the pages, writing itself.
I learned one thing from Reese’s greed, and it’s that love is blind, and greed can never be quenched. The man once had everything he could ever want in his life, but still, he wanted anything he was told he couldn’t have. His selfishness is why he’s gone now.
The best part about all of it is that I have come out of this a stronger woman. He may have raped me, scared the holy hell out of me, and exploited me, but I never let him break me. I know now that I can survive anything life throws at me.