Sam

“I’m telling you, Meg, you didn’t see him. He’s not even the same person anymore,” Sam said as she finished pinning up her hair.

“That doesn’t mean you have to go out with Zander.”

“I’m not going out with just Zander. There’s a bunch of us going. And besides, Devon was extremely clear that he wants nothing to do with me and doesn’t care what I do.”

“Sam . . .” Megan’s face was stuck in her, I-disagree-with-you, scowl.

“What? That’s what he said.”

“I doubt it.”

“Meg! He literally said, I don’t care what you do, Sam. And he’s so egotistical that he can’t even comprehend that anyone else would want to hang out with me.”

“What does that mean?”

“He said he thinks Zander’s only using me to hurt him.”

“Well, is he?”

“No! Devon is the only one who’s hurting people. He practically smashed Zander’s face in for the second time and he wouldn’t even talk to me. I know he’s hurting, Meg, but he clearly isn’t ready to face things. Until he is, I don’t think anyone can help him.”

“Yeah but—”

“No buts! Can you just be on my side? I’m going out tonight and I really wish everyone would stop trying to tell me what to do.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, Sam. I’m just worried.”

“Well, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m going to a party with some friends, like a normal teenager. Now, I need to finish getting ready. Zander’s gonna be here in twenty minutes. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Sam disconnected her video chat with Megan and finished getting ready. She slipped on a cute lacey black skater dress she’d bought on her shopping spree with Devon. It had a plunging neckline covered with sheer black mesh, an open back and a short flouncy skirt with pockets. Sam gave herself a once over in the mirror. She looked good—and not like herself at all.

She knew it was childish, but she wanted to look good tonight, if only to prove to herself that she was desirable after what Devon said to her. Did he really think just because he had been okay with being her almost boyfriend that meant no one else would ever want to date her for real?

“Arrogant prick,” she mumbled under her breath.

Sam finished tying the bows on her strappy heels when she heard a car horn beep. She looked out her window to see a massive stretch SUV with a half dozen soccer players hanging out the windows.

Shit!

Sam raced downstairs before her father came out of his office to see what all the commotion was. “Bye, Dad! Love you,” she called as she rushed out of the house.

Devon

It was dark by the time Devon woke up. He felt groggy and a bit hung over. He decided a shower was in order. The steam helped clear his head, but then all his memories from earlier that day came rushing back. He’d been a complete wanker to Sam. Devon turned the water cold to try and drive away his queasiness. But he suspected feeling ill had much more to do with what he’d said to Sam, than too much whiskey.

He dressed as his stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten anything today. He checked his watch. Almost ten. Perfect. Cara and the kids would be in bed by now and the kitchen would be empty.

* * *

Devon sat on the kitchen counter eating the last of a sandwich he found in the refrigerator. It seemed Cara was rationing his food now, because he found three sandwiches with his name on them. He’d been too tired to defy her by making something else, so he ate the sandwich with the newest date on the label.

As he finished his meal, Devon let his mind wander back to when he’d first brought Sam to the kitchen to make pizza. It felt like a lifetime ago. The memories made his chest tight. And when Devon wondered what Sam was up to at the moment, his eyes stung.

Probably snogging Zander, he thought wickedly. He couldn’t really blame her if she was. Devon had practically driven Sam into Zander’s arms with the way he spoke to her in the nurse’s office.

Christ! Devon knew pushing Sam away was for the best but it still hurt like hell.

Devon hopped off the counter and put his plate in the sink. He had to get some fresh air. All this thinking about Sam, and what would never be, was making him crazy.

Devon was about to open the door to his bedroom when he heard a whine behind him. He turned to see Eggsy come padding out from Sam’s room. Devon shook his head at the dog. “What are you doing in there? I told you she’s not coming back.”

Eggsy whined morosely.

“Yeah, I miss her too.”

Devon walked to Sam’s door intending to shut it, but he found himself peering inside. It didn’t even look like her room anymore. Cara removed every trace of Sam. The white comforter, the twinkling fairy lights, the fluffy pillows, all erased.

“That bitch,” he huffed stepping inside the room. First his father and now Sam. It was like Cara wanted to erase everything that had ever made Devon happy. Why did she hate him so much?

Devon found himself rifling through the room for any sign that Sam had ever been there. He just wanted one thing to hold on to. One thing so he knew what they had was real—even if it only lasted a short while.

The only thing Devon found was the adapter he’d loaned Sam when she first moved in. It was still plugged into the wall near the nightstand. Devon leaned over to unplug it and noticed a notebook wedged behind the nightstand. He pulled it out. It was the spiral bound kind Sam used to take notes in class. She must have forgotten it when she moved out. Devon smoothed the bent pages back and froze when he read what Sam had written.

It was a list.

And it was about him.

Devon James: Pros & Cons.

In the Cons column she’d written:

Always thinks he’s funny.

Always thinks he’s right.

Stubborn.

Moody.

Used to put spiders in my hair.

Used to call me Spam.

Too good looking.

Spends more time on his hair than me.

He scares me.

But in the Pros column there was only one thing written. And when he read it, it changed everything.

He scares me because I’m in love with him.

Devon blinked and read the sentence over and over again.

Holy shite! Sam loved him! That changed everything. Or at least it could. Devon had always known he loved her. But she’d never said it back, not even after he told her on their camping trip. Well, she sort of did, but she was joking. Wasn’t she? But if she loved him this whole time . . .

His mind flashed back to video chats they’d had with Megan. She was always teasing Sam and saying “Don’t be scared, Sam.” And every time Sam’s face would flush pink and she’d cut Megan off. Was this what Megan was talking about?

Devon still thought he was a right foul mess, and Sam deserved better. But if she loved him too . . . Maybe she didn’t care. Maybe she was just as mad for him as he was for her. He knew they could never go back—that Devon would never be the light and carefree boy he was before. But maybe, just maybe he could be some version of himself that Sam could love. Maybe there were enough pieces left of him. And maybe she would want to help put them back together.

Shite! He had to try.

Devon quickly took a photo of the list on the notebook and sent it in a text message to Megan.

DEVON: I need your help.

He pressed send and raced across the hall to get changed.

His phone was already ringing before he reached his door.