Annie
Staring at the test, Annabeth Bowers felt her eyes burning. She wouldn’t cry. Hell, Annie knew that was bullshit. The first tear was already running down her cheek. After three years, she’d thought all her tears had dried up. Apparently not.
She’d been sure this cycle was the one. The one where she would finally see the positive plus sign. In the past, Annie had never felt so sure. Maybe that’s why it felt like a hot knife had plunged into her heart.
Shifters weren’t supposed to have infertility issues. They were programmed to find their mates and reproduce like rabbits. Both Annie and Nathan had taken every test, but nothing was wrong with either one of them. None of the doctors ever figured out why Annie couldn’t get pregnant.
Annie hadn’t gone back to the doctors in over a year. Nathan had convinced her they needed to take a break. If they got pregnant, great. But if they didn’t, it wasn’t a big deal. Only, to Annie, it was a big deal. Especially with all her girlfriends having babies, having no problem getting pregnant.
This last cycle, she and Nathan had gone to Vivienne. The elderly witch was the territory’s healer. If anyone could help them conceive, it would be her. Just another reason Annie had thought the damn test would be positive. She gripped the sink as sobs racked her body.
Why her? Was something wrong with her? Why couldn’t she give her mate the family they both desperately wanted? Neither of them had come from a big family, something they wanted to change when they started their own. However, with the way things were going, they weren’t going to have a family at all.
“Annabeth?” Her mate’s voice sounded panicked. Nathan was always calm and laid back. Easy-going. Hearing him worked up only made her feel worse. “Oh, honey.”
Nathan’s strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her into his body. His heat seeped into her, warming her down to her bones. Annie hadn’t realized she’d been shaking. She felt her sweet mate’s lips at her temple, giving her a comforting kiss. “You should’ve waited for me. I know how hard this is on you.”
Did he though? Did he feel like he lacked something when his friend’s mates turned up pregnant? Maybe so, but they didn’t share those insecurities with each other. At least, not anymore. They weren’t as close as they once were.
All her friends thought she had her life together. They looked up to her, while truly it was them who had the wifely and motherly duties down pat. She was hiding so much of herself from so many people. People who were supposed to be close to her, and yet, Annie felt alone. Although, the feeling wasn’t anything new to her.
Most of her life she’d felt alone. The only one to ever make the feeling go away was Nathan. Now, it even felt like she might lose him. “Shh, Annabeth, I’m right here. I’ve got you, honey.” She breathed in his scent, using the spicy pine smell to calm down. “That’s it. You’re alright.”
His hands stroked down her back in soothing motions. The one thing which hadn’t taken a nose dive lately was her and Nathan’s sex lives. Thank the Goddess. Shifters were notoriously sexual creatures. Right then, she wanted Nathan to do more than comfort her.
She wanted him to make her forget, even if it would only be for a little while. Nuzzling his neck, Annie nipped his jaw. Being as tall as her mate had its perks, like knowing exactly when his desire matched her own. “You know we have Lani’s baby shower in an hour.” Nathan’s raspy, sexy voice said one thing, while his hands and body said another.
“Who said we needed an hour?” She leaned back to catch a glimpse of her mate’s face, but he threw her over his shoulder. Growling like the sexy bear he was, Annie heard him mumble about showing her just how much of the hour they’d need.
“I can’t believe you guys are just getting here. We’ve got twins, a sixteen-year-old pup and we still made it on time.” Annie felt her face heating up, knowing her blush would give them away. Her bear had taken his time on her. He’d shown her why they had definitely needed longer than an hour.
The cocky, satisfied smile on Nathan’s face made her feel like a Goddess. Even if all their friends knew what they’d been up to. All of them except for Gene and Lani, who were sitting in the front of the room cooing at their son. Gene’s living room looked like a mini forest had exploded in it. Since Lani had delivered their child early, the baby shower now included the little man himself.
James Kennedy Dodson, who was born at twenty-eight weeks, looked as healthy as any baby born full term. He’d had to stay in the hospital for a month before Lani and Gene were allowed to bring him home. While waiting, everyone had rallied around them to get the house ready for a newborn. The sight made Annie want to curl up in a ball. She was that envious and jealous.
Would she ever have a family? Share a moment so tender and loving with Nathan and their child? Annie put her thoughts to the back of her mind when she went to meet the little guy for the first time. “You sure he was early?” Nathan asked from beside her, clapping Gene on the shoulder.
“Yep, but he’s big and strong like his daddy.” Gene beamed at his wife, reaching down to hold onto on of James’ tiny, chubby hands.
“He got to come home two weeks early because he’s a fighter, like his mama.” Before the couple could exchange any more romantic comments, Isaiah rushed into the room.
“I didn’t miss the big announcement, did I?” He pouted, then practically threw his poorly wrapped present at the gift table.
“Goddess, you need a woman to calm your ass down,” Gene muttered, peeking through a hole in the paper. “And no, you didn’t. Besides, these two just showed up too.” Gene smirked at Nathan. Apparently, they were sharing a guy moment.
“Good, I have a bet going on around here. If he’s a wolf, I get a hundred bucks. And if he’s not, well, I may need to borrow some money from ya.”
“Which side are you on, Annie?” Lani’s eyes hadn’t left her son. Annie could see why, he was fricking adorable. James didn’t have any hair but bright red eyebrows, green eyes and chubby little limbs. He was sure to look just like Gene when he got older.
“Wolf.” Lani looked up just long enough to wink at her.
“You two get some food before Ella’s brothers eat all of it. There goes Mason. Goddess, how does Ella put up with all of them?” Gene scratched his head, but a smile stretched across his face. Everyone loved the Wilson brothers once they got to know them. “Hey, the kids are supposed to eat first.”
The three men, along with Corey all stopped to look at Gene. Other than the twins and James the only kid there was Stella. The little girl Carter and Grace had taken in after an anti-shifter group attacked Redwater. Carter, with Stella wrapped up in his arms like a Koala bear made his way over to the food table. Annie didn’t miss the smug look Carter gave the others as he made up three trays.
One for each member of his family. Even Carter and Grace had a child. It was just another reminder of everything she wanted, but didn’t have. Nathan must’ve felt her growing sadness because he chose the moment to usher her to the food table. If only he knew her stomach revolted at the very thought of eating.
She hated playing pretend, acting like none of this got to her. When in reality, it felt like someone had twisted a knife deep into her heart.