Chapter Thirty-Three

After she told Lucas she loved him, he started coming home later each night. She was seeing him much less. She could feel him slipping away from her before she’d ever really had him. She figured she was going to either give this her all, or let go. She couldn’t live in the marriage halfway anymore.

In the beginning she’d told herself she could do it. She thought she could do anything for the sake of her child, but what kind of mother would she be if she were so depressed, she couldn’t even function?

It was killing her a little bit more each day as she watched him pull further away. She didn’t say she loved him again, afraid that if she did, he’d ask her to sleep in a separate room.

They were making love less often, too, partially because he was gone so much more, but a lot had to do with her being so far along in her pregnancy, and she was perpetually exhausted. She’d had a few months in the middle where she’d felt great, but the beginning had been hard, and the end was even worse.

The doctor was keeping an eye on her, as she was swelling too much, and he was worried her blood pressure was too high. He’d put her on bed rest for ninety percent of each day, and she was getting tired of it.

When her blood pressure was finally under control, the doctor told her she could move around a bit more and that some fresh air might do her good. She decided to get out of the house for a while.

She was going into the office to surprise Lucas with a romantic lunch, lovemaking, and a confession. She was going to tell him how much she loved him and how much she wanted the marriage to be real.

If he didn’t return her feelings, then she’d let him go and get on with her life. She knew he’d want to be a part of her child’s life and that would have to work out, but she couldn’t live like roommates any longer.

She knew he still had the power to take her child away, but as she’d gotten to know him, she didn’t think he could ever remove a child from her mother. Besides, there was no way Joseph and Katherine would ever support it. They had too much love and respect for family.

Amy was feeling nervous on her drive to the office. She hadn’t been there in a while, and she was scared he wouldn’t be happy with the interruption. She planned her visit when she knew he’d be alone and she could just slip in. She didn’t want to run into Tom. She hadn’t told him about what was going on, feeling as if it were a betrayal to Lucas to say anything negative about their marriage.

She was hoping he could love her. Please, she prayed, let him love me as much as he loves our unborn baby.

She walked into her old office, which was empty, and pulled her coat a little tighter. It was long and covered her well, but she knew that all she had on underneath was skimpy black lingerie. It had been hard to find something sexy when her stomach was protruding out about a foot from the rest of her body but, unbelievably, she’d hit the jackpot and felt somewhat sexy for the first time in a very long while.

She wasn’t really self-conscious about her body, as Lucas had always raved of her beauty and complimented her often on her body changes. His excitement to meet their child was one of the reasons she loved him so dearly. Some things unplanned turned out pretty great.

She cracked the connecting door quietly and then stopped where she stood, her heart shattering. Lucas wasn’t alone. There was a skinny redheaded woman wrapped around him, and they were locked in a passionate embrace.

Her hair was a mess, as if they’d already been making love for hours. Her shirt was hanging open, and her skirt was hiked up, showing her garter. She was stunning in a way Amy could never hope to be, she thought in agony.

This was the reason he wasn’t coming home to her much anymore. He was having an affair. She’d doubted he could love her, but there had been growth in their relationship, or so she’d thought. No matter what else, though, she didn’t figure he was the type of man to cheat.

Up until the last month, they’d made love all the time. She thought he was satisfied, more than satisfied even, as their lovemaking always seemed so frenzied, as if they couldn’t get enough of each other. He was always ready to sink deep inside her, and that was something a man couldn’t fake.

She was horrified to think that maybe he was picturing his mistress as he made love to her. Maybe that was how he was always so ready. Amy knew she could never compete with someone like the stunning redhead.

She only stood there for a couple of seconds, but it seemed like an eternity. Her whole world began to crumble, and she didn’t know how she was still standing.

She closed the door and ran back to the elevator. She could feel hot tears streaming down her face as she quickly escaped to her car and sped home. She had her answer. She’d never stay with a man who cheated. She couldn’t do it.