Varden

Seeing how fucking devastating Saffi was in finding out who I really was—well that was one of the low points of my life. And there had been a lot of low points.

I had thought she’d be annoyed. Maybe even pissed. But not hysterical with pain at my deceit.

She hated me. And in that moment, I hated myself.

She ran out of the bar, and for a second I thought I owed it to her not to follow. But I ran after her, anyway, grabbing her arm as soon as we hit the hotel lobby. I didn’t want to attract the attention of hotel security or the well-heeled guests going about their business, but if I didn’t get her to calm down quickly, we’d be creating a scene that wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Saffi, dammit, would you wait just a minute?”

She whirled around and tried to shake her arm free. “Let go of me,” she hissed, tears dribbling down her face.

“I need to tell you something very important. Please, just listen. It’s for your own safety. After I’m done, if you want to take off, that’s fine,” I pleaded. “I wouldn’t blame you at all if you did. My not telling you who I was when I knew your identity was a shitty thing to do.”

“No kidding, you asshole. And why did you do it, then? Ugh, and to think you’re my father’s business associate.” She looked at the floor, shoulders shaking from her crying.

“Please, Saffi. Just sit here with me. I need five minutes.” I tilted my head toward the lobby’s only unoccupied seating area.

“Five minutes.”

“C’mon.” I led her to a chair and sat directly opposite her.

She looked at me impatiently.

“Saffi, I had a meeting with your dad recently, and he mentioned you’re working on an undercover story for the paper. I immediately figured it was Club Silk.”

The color drained from her face. “You didn’t tell him anything about the club, did you?”

“No. God, no. I think he thinks you’re investigating a country club or something. And he has no idea we’ve been…together. Anyway, I was immediately concerned about protecting my own privacy.” I looked around the hotel lobby. “I have a lot at stake. But you know that.”

“I’m not surprised. Thinking of yourself and no one else,” she snapped.

She hadn’t exactly been honest, either, but I would get to that.

“Then it became clear to me that M was on to you, suspicious about something.”

“What did you tell her?” she hissed.

“Hold on. Jesus, I didn’t tell her a thing.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. I never would have guessed she was so full of fire. I liked it.

“You didn’t?” she asked.

“Are you kidding? I wasn’t going to let her know I knew you or what you were up to. But listen. She’s kept after me, asking me questions, demanding I get info. It’s fucking crazy.”

“What did you tell her?”

“That I knew nothing about you. I lied.”

“How do I know you didn’t give me away to her?” she asked.

“You’d know. For one, she wouldn’t let you get near the place. But for another…well, she knows a lot of people.”

She looked confused. Was she really that naive?

“And the people she knows, they’re not all particularly…nice.”

The color drained from her face as her expression shifted from anger to the unsteadiness of fear.

“She’s suspicious of you. Look, she couldn’t successfully run a club like Silk for as long as she has without a good sense of people. The point is, she doesn’t know what you’re up to. But I’m afraid she’ll push till she finds out.”

Saffi looked at her watch. “Thank you for the information.” She stood to leave.

I held up a hand. “Wait, I’m not done.”

“What?” She parked her hands on her hips.

“First of all, you have not been so honest yourself. You knew I was interested in you.”

She looked down for a moment, the defiance draining from her face. “That’s true, but—”

“Look, forget it. What I have to ask you is far more important. I’m not sure I have the right to, but I will anyway. I don’t want it getting out that I’ve been anywhere near the club. Can I count on you for that?”

“If you wanted your identity protected, why did you reveal yourself?”

“I did it for you. Otherwise, you might not have listened to my warning.”

She pulled her trench coat tight. “For all M knows, I go there to hook up. She can’t prove anything.”

“I’m gonna ask you again. Will you keep me out of your story?” I asked.

She’d started to walk away, but turned around quickly. “I don’t know. I’ll get back to you on that.” She gave a small laugh that was pissed off and sad at the same time. Then she was gone, leaving me in the middle of the Four Seasons lobby, full of shame like I hadn’t experienced in a long time.