Fucking hell. Aubrey has me acting like a horny teenager. Since I took her last night on the mini golf course, I’ve had her in the shower, in our bed, on the couch, on the deck of our room, and even in the bathroom by the buffet, and it’s only noon. The idea of sleep briefly occurred to us at some point during all of that, but somehow we never got around to it. I think a small part of my frenzy has to do with trying to distract myself from what happened yesterday.

Linda saw me kicking the shit out of Jake and she saw me doing it in front of Sophie. I can’t imagine that’s going to make it easy for my lawyers to convince a judge that Julianne is lying about me. And I’m starting to have trouble seeing a future that doesn’t involve long, drawn out legal battles just to have the right to keep my own daughter.

It’s doing a serious number on my mental health. For starters, I’m craving a business trip like nobody’s fucking business. All the chaos and factors out of my control make me want to plow into my work at full speed, to dominate every obstacle in front of me. Except I can’t. No matter how strong the urge is, I’m needed here too much. I know it means I’m not the perfect father by any stretch, but I’ve never been able to stay for more than a few days when the need hit me before. Even if it meant missing out on parts of Sophie’s life while I was away and forced to video call her instead of seeing her in person. I justified it to myself by believing I needed to scratch the itch if I was going to be a good father. I thought I had to be fulfilled and striving toward some kind of greatness or I would just be a shell of a man.

I’m not so sure anymore. Even though I feel the call just as intensely as ever, something in me has changed because I’m able to section it off in my head. It could be that Aubrey is starting to fill whatever void the distraction of work was filling for me. Whatever it is, I’m just glad I can fight it now. My family needs me. Aubrey needs me. And I’ll be fucking damned if I’m going to let them down.

We catch up with Sophie and mom at the buffet, and I can’t help from glancing toward the bathroom and recalling taking Aubrey in there less than an hour ago. I’m sleepy as hell, but there’s an excitement running through me that chases away the possibility of sleep right now.

“You look sleepy, Daddy,” observes Sophie.

“That’s an understatement,” adds my mom. “You both look like you could use a long night’s sleep.”

“Nah,” I say, rubbing my eyes. “We’re good. So what’s the plan for today?”

“We docked in the Keys,” says Sophie. “I want to get off the boat and cruise around the little town. See the sights. Touch the things. Pet the--”

“Let’s do it,” I say.

Aubrey is either glaring at me, or she’s falling asleep where she’s sitting, but she limps out of her seat to get another helping of eggs and orange juice. Thirsty, I note, and hungry. I feel a stab of guilt. I should have held back a little. It was her first time on the golf course, and whether she was just as starving for it as I was or not, it wouldn’t have killed me to give her some time to recover. My mom doesn’t fail to notice, and she shoots me a disapproving look, which I try to ignore.

We spend a few hours exploring the island. The weather is perfect as we stroll--and roll, in my mom’s case--through the streets. The whole island has an aura of casual leisure to it, like time doesn’t apply here, like the stress and unhappiness of the real world never found its way to this place. Once we’ve made a run of the local shops and I have bought Sophie whatever little knick-knacks and souvenirs she wants, we grab a quick snack at a place that serves ice cream. Afterwards, we end up on a small beach we found by accident, which the main throng of tourists from the boat seem to have missed because it’s sectioned off by rocks on either side, and the only way to it was through a narrow alley Sophie wanted to explore.

“This is gorgeous,” says Aubrey.

“It’s so pretty!” squeals Sophie. “This is like the beach in that movie. The one where they get stranded and… Ahh! Why can’t I remember the name?”

She wanders toward the surf and starts looking for shark teeth, which is about the only thing she ever wants to do at the beach. I help push mom’s chair to a place in the shade of a patch of palm trees, where she sighs contentedly and gazes out over the water. It’s a rare sight, because my mom usually finds something to glare or grumble about.

“Look!” says Aubrey, who is pointing to a hammock strung between two palm trees a few dozen yards from where my mom is sitting. “I’ve always wanted to try these.”

“You’ve never been in a hammock?” I ask.

“Have you?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Probably,” I say, suddenly unable to remember if I have either. I climb in first and help Aubrey down beside me, and the hammock rocks softly while I hold her in my arms, feeling like I could fall asleep in about two seconds. And I guess I do, because when we got in the hammock it couldn’t have been much later than two or three in the afternoon, but when I open my eyes, the sky is stained red and purple, and the sun is dipping below the ocean in front of us.

Sophie is lying on her stomach, building some kind of castle and plugging shark’s teeth into decorative positions, and my mom looks like she decided nap as well, because I can hear the rumble of her snores even though she’s a few dozen yards away. Aubrey snores softly on my chest, and I smile down at her, realizing I couldn’t even dream up a more perfect woman, not just for me but for my family.

Aubrey stirs, sucking in a surprised breath and looking up at me.

“Come with me,” I say, a sudden idea occurring to me and striking me with all the force of a thunderbolt. “C’mon,” I repeat, grabbing her hand and helping her out of the hammock.

I lead her down the beach until we pass Sophie, who looks up curiously at us. Even Roxanne tilts her head up from her doze to look. The tide rolls in over our bare feet, cooling our skin. Aubrey looks up at me with mingling confusion and excitement. I blow out a breath. I should feel nervous for what I’m about to do. I could be reading her wrong and I could be about to embarrass myself completely. I should, but I’m not. I only feel the electric certainty that I’m doing the right thing. My family and the rest of the life I’ve been building may be on the verge of shattering, but this is something I can control.

I fall to one knee, keeping my eyes locked on hers.

Her hands come up to her mouth and her eyes well with tears. Good sign, I think.

“Aubrey. Not long after we met, I asked you to pretend to be my wife to help save my family. But now I have to ask something more of you. Will you marry me? No more pretending.”

She sucks in a shuddering breath, smiling.

Sophie sits behind her castle, watching us and tilting her head, clearly confused. She probably can’t hear us from where she is, but she can certainly see me kneeling like I’m proposing.

“Not just for show?” asks Aubrey.

“When I asked you to pretend to marry me, I thought I was doing what was best for my family. Now I realize the best thing for my family is you. The best thing for me is you. We need you, Aubrey. And I want you so fucking bad it hurts. Marry me. I’m not too proud to beg if you--”

She silences me by falling to her knees and kissing me. The force of her kiss knocks me backward, soaking me instantly, but I barely notice. I kiss her back, letting the surf wash over us and letting the fading sun warm the cool water from our skin.

Aubrey pulls back, smiling down at me as she lays on top of me. Her hair is wet and drizzling and the orange glow of the setting sun makes her look even more beautiful than usual. There are tears in her eyes but a happiness in her face like I’ve never seen. She’s my fiancée, for real now. This woman is going to be my wife, and I don’t know how, but I know that means everything else is going to work out.

We walk back up the beach hand in hand, and Sophie stands up as we approach.

“Okay. You got me,” says Sophie. “I’m totally confused. I thought you guys were already getting married.”

My mom, who’s within earshot, chimes in. “You only have to do it once, son! Is your memory going already?”

I grin. “It felt right to do it again.” I pull Aubrey close and kiss the top of her head. “It felt right.” Just when I think the moment couldn’t be ruined by anything, I notice a silhouette in the alley we followed to find this hidden beach. It’s a small, feminine figure with a hat. It’s too dark in the alley to make out any more than that, but the sinking feeling in my stomach tells me it’s Linda McCroy, and she just saw me propose to the woman who was supposedly already my fiancée.

And the grave I’ve dug for myself on this trip gets deeper. Fuck.