I force myself to watch the video again. And again. And again.

It’s the video Rori and Kyla made for their GoldLake presentation. It has Rori written all over it. Her compassion, her empathy, her … goodness. Right now, it feels like the only thing I have left of her.

But it’s Maria’s story that makes my throat feel tight. Each time her words come through the screen, I feel shittier. And I keep watching it, just to torture myself. Because I deserve to feel like shit. I’ve made a complete fucking mess of this whole situation.

Rori hasn’t spoken to me since the wedding. I’ve called, left messages, sent texts, but she hasn’t returned a single one of them. I even stopped by her office, but Kyla told me she was spending a few days with her parents in Connecticut. That really drove home how much I’d hurt her. The woman couldn’t even stand to be in the same state as me.

I scrub the video timeline back to the part where Maria talks about her husband’s death, how she struggled to go on after his loss. I think about Rori and what an ass I’ve been. Here I have the most perfect woman on the planet, alive and well and willing to work her ass off on a project she was passionate about — and I screw everything up.

And for what? Money? What do I need more money for? I have enough money to live a hundred lifetimes. I have more money than I could have ever dreamed of, back when I was a dumb eighteen-year-old kid, sleeping in the back of my car. All I wanted back then was enough to not have to worry anymore. I wanted a comfortable life. I wanted to be able to provide for the woman I loved.

Well, I had that and more after I’d earned my first million. Everything beyond that was greed. Ego. Something to prove to myself — or maybe everyone else — that I had made it. That I was really someone.

But what’s the point of being someone if you don’t have anyone?

That’s the thought that keeps rolling around in my head. That’s the reason I keep watching Maria’s video, listening to the way her voice cracks when she says her husband’s name. When she talks about her son Bruno, about wanting the best for him while watching him go to a public school that’s practically crumbling to the ground around him.

“What the fuck are you watching?”

Levi appears at my doorway, rolling his eyes at the tinkling piano music coming out of my laptop.

“It’s a video Marigold made. To promote the hiring initiative.”

“Oh?” He perks up. “Is it any good?”

“It’s great.”

“Let’s see.”

I hesitate then reluctantly spin the laptop around. The last thing I want is for Levi to shit all over the video. I think I might punch him if he does.

Levi slips into the chair opposite me as I start the video back at the beginning and hit play. He watches in silence, then chuckles when it gets to the emotional part where Maria talks about her husband.

“Laying it on a bit thick, huh?” He shakes his head. “Good. People eat that shit up.”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. At least he shuts up. I watch him as the rest of the video plays. A frown comes over his face and he looks up at me.

“Is that the community center? The one we’re going to be tearing down?”

“Yeah,” I admit.

“That’s hilarious!” Levi slaps his thigh. “So this woman we hired to distract people from our development project actually lives and works in the place we’re going to be tearing down.”

“Yeah.” I shift in my seat.

Levi is nearly doubled over now. “Oh my God. You can’t make this stuff up. That is priceless.”

“Priceless? That isn’t the word I would use. It’s a fucking disaster.”

He sits up, wiping a tear of laughter from his eye. “Oh, come on, Wes. Have a sense of humor. This is dramatic irony at its finest.”

My fists are clenching, but I keep them buried in my lap on the other side of the desk. Restrained. “Then you have a pretty sick sense of humor. I think this is what I’d call a clusterfuck.”

Levi waves his hand dismissively. “Wes, this is not a big deal.”

“It’s not?” That’s news to me.

“Of course not. We’ll just fire her.”

I sit up straight. “What?”

“Come on. We can’t have her working here. You said yourself it’s bad.”

“Yes, but the solution isn’t to fire her.”

“Why not? She’s only been here a couple of weeks. I’m sure she’ll find something else.”

“You can’t do that.”

He leans back in his chair, studying me. “I’m not going to.”

“Good.” I start to relax , before he speaks again.

“You are.”

My stomach bottoms out. I’m already shaking my head. “No. Not happening.”

“Wes.”

“We’ll find a way to make this work.”

Levi and I have never really argued about a business decision before. We’ve disagreed before, but never for long. We’ve both always had the same vision for the company — that the deal is the thing. We do whatever it takes to seal the deal, to succeed. It didn’t matter what that entailed. There was no cost — financial or human or otherwise — that was too great, as long as it meant it got us closer to our goals. The business was ruthless and we thrived on that. We were the most cutthroat in the industry and everyone knew it.

Now, for the first time, I’m the one breaking our deal. The unspoken one, the one that said we ran this company full-speed ahead and damn the consequences.

“Wes, I’m ordering you to fire her.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“The last time I checked we were equal partners in this business. I don’t believe you can order me to do anything.”

Levi scoffs. “That’s in name only, Wes. You and I both know that. This business was built on my knowledge, my experience, my contacts. Let’s not fool ourselves.”

My gut is clenching and I have the nearly insurmountable urge to slug him. “Why partner with me at all then?” I can’t resist asking.

He shrugs. “I enjoy your … youthful enthusiasm. You’ve always been committed to the cause, I’ll give you that. But now I’m wondering if maybe I’ve been wrong about that.”

My rage is simmering beneath the surface, but barely. Levi, on the other hand, looks like he’s enjoying this. Why have I never noticed before that this man is practically a sociopath? He seems to be taking genuine pleasure in the situation with Maria, and in twisting me up about it.

I’ve never seen it before, but now it couldn’t be more clear. I’ve been trying to follow in Levi’s footsteps, trying to become more like him. Levi doesn’t have attachments to other people, he doesn’t get emotionally invested. That’s what I wanted. I wanted to be aloof, alone. Where nothing would ever hurt and nothing would ever remind me of the things I’d lost. My mom. Rori.

Rori.

Having her back in my life has torn down those walls I spent years building. Suddenly, getting emotionally invested doesn’t seem like such a bad thing.

In fact, it feels a little bit like ... the thing I’ve been missing all along.

I look up at Levi. His grey eyes are steely, and I can tell that he’s testing me right now. To see whether I’ll push back about Maria, or whether I’ll roll over for him. I weigh my options, but the decision itself takes only a split second to make.

“Leave it to me,” I tell him with a resigned sigh. “I’ll take care of it.”

Levi nods, satisfied. He leaves my office and I slam the laptop closed. I can’t bear to watch the video again. I have the damn thing memorized now.

Instead I reach for my phone.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, I’m meeting Tyler at Veneer, a hot little dive bar in Manhattan. We used to come in a lot when we first moved to the city, but I haven’t been here in a couple of years now. It’s a pretty mellow place, with a mixed crowd and great 80s alternative rock blaring out the speakers. Exactly the kind of laid-back place I’m in the mood for right now.

Tyler is already there and I slide into the booth across from him. I catch the bartender’s eye and gesture towards Tyler’s drink. A minute later, I’m sipping the foam off a frosty amber ale of my own. I clink my glass against Tyler’s.

“Thanks for meeting me in the middle of the day,” I say, after I’ve had a couple of good swallows of the beer. “I really had to get out of there.”

“Hey, no worries. When you’re rich and fun-employed, you can do whatever you want with your time.” Tyler grins. “So what’s up? Troubles at the top of the food chain?”

I let out a long breath and tell him about Levi wanting to fire someone who, by all accounts, was a great employee.

When I’m done, Tyler looks serious.

“What are you going to do? Fire her?”

“Fuck no,” I huff. “I told him to leave it with me, but that was so I could buy myself some time. What I really need to do is figure out how to deal with Levi, not Maria.”

“Levi Goldman.” Tyler shakes his head. “Say no more. I still don’t understand why you’ve stuck by that guy for so long. Everyone knows he’s toxic.”

Tyler’s assessment takes me by surprise.

“Oh? I didn’t know you knew him very well.”

“Oh yeah. He used to be a member at Kinsmen. Until he got himself kicked out.”

I snort. “What for?”

Tyler shrugs. “General assholery. And you know, that place tolerates a fair bit of rich boy antics. Levi took it to a whole other level. I don’t know the whole story but I always suspected he crossed the wrong guy there. This was years ago, though. I only got the gossip second-hand, through my dad.”

“Huh.” I guess I always knew Levi was a bit on the arrogant side, but I didn’t realize it was bad enough to get him kicked out of the Kinsmen. I shake my head.

“Wish I would have known that about, oh, eight years ago.” I grin ruefully.

Tyler grins back. “Sorry, man. By the time I heard about it, you’d already started GoldLake. Figured there was no point in bringing it up. And hey, the guy could have changed.”

“I don’t think he has,” I say, taking another drink from the glass in front of me.

“That sucks.” Tyler nods.

“Yeah.” I look up suddenly. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Stay normal. I mean, you grew up with a fuck ton of money. Your father is Malcolm Grant, for Christ’s sake. And yet, you’re a good guy. Down to earth. You haven’t let it go to your head.”

Tyler chuckles. “Well, I’m sure my father would like it if I was a little less ‘down to earth’ — or in his words, a complete fuck-up.”

“Shit. Sorry, man.”

He waves off my apology. “Don’t worry about it. That’s my issue. But I don’t know the answer to your question, really. Where is this coming from?”

I shrug. “Just thinking about stuff lately. My life now is … well, it’s nothing like what I could have pictured when I was a kid. I didn’t know money like this existed. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve become too singularly focused on it. I don’t want to end up like Levi, you know?”

I expect Tyler to crack a joke, but instead he sips his beer thoughtfully.

“That happens,” he admits. “And I guess that’s what happened to my father. Maybe that’s why I’ve always rebelled against that life. I’ve always been happier being the party boy than the good son.”

“Huh.” Even though Tyler and I have been friends for over ten years now, I don’t think we’ve ever really had a conversation like this before. I’ve never thought about him being conflicted about his family’s money. I know he likes the playboy life, but I never imagined it was a reaction to the way he grew up. I guess there’s always more to people than you realize.

Tyler sips his beer again. “Look, I don’t know much about how you grew up. You’ve always been cagey about that part of your life, and I totally respect that. But you can’t let the past eat your present, you know? It’ll completely consume you, if you let it. At the risk of sounding like a total cheeseball, today is all we have. That’s how I try to live my life.”

We’re both quiet for a minute.

“You know, you’re a hell of a lot smarter than you look, Grant.”

Tyler grins. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Now onto more cheerful topics.” He sets his beer down on the sticky table with a loud thunk. “How’s that new lady friend of yours? Rori.”

My face falls. Tyler winces.

“Shit, man. Sorry. Should I take it it’s not going well?”

“You could say that.”

“What happened? Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” I sip my beer.

“No problem.”

There’s a moment of silence and then I crack my knuckles.

“It’s just, it comes back to what we were just talking about. I think I put my business before her, in a way that was — well, let’s just say it was pretty bad. And now she’s rightfully pissed at me. And I don’t even know why I did it, because she’s a hundred times more important to me than GoldLake, but now I don’t know how to fix it and it’s killing me.” I stop and finally take a breath. It feels surprisingly good to get that out.

Tyler looks sympathetic.

“Shit, man. That’s heavy. I don’t know what to tell you. If she’s more important to you than GoldLake, well, that says to me that you’re head over heels for this girl. Now you gotta make her see that.”

“I know, but how do I do that?”

“You have to go deep. It has to hurt, you know?” Tyler’s grey eyes are serious. “It’s not a real apology if it doesn’t cost you something. And I don’t mean in the financial sense.”

“Damn.” I shake my head. His words really resonate. “Seriously, man, when did you get so smart?”

Tyler laughs. “I guess it was all that time I spent partying in Europe after college. All those old philosophers rubbed off on me.”

I groan. “Sure. Let’s go with that.”

But Tyler’s words have lodged something loose inside me. I know now what I have to do. I have to be honest with Rori. I have to tell her everything, even the things I never wanted her to know. The things I was so ashamed of for so long. I have to let her see all of it.

Tyler’s wrong about one thing, though. Because if I’m going to do this right, it’s going to cost me financially too. It might just cost me everything.

But when it comes to Rori, no price is too high.