Chapter Twenty-Three
I closed another email from Henry and resisted the urge to scream at my computer. The important thing was that I was able to keep all of my rage and fury and bitterness bottled up. Everybody knew keeping the angry feelings inside was the best way to handle tough situations.
Although, apparently I needed to practice because Emily immediately lifted her head and gave me a funny look. “You okay, Slugger?”
Stacking loose papers with the grace of a charging hippopotamus, I glared at her. “You are so lucky you didn’t call me something gross. Like doll face or hot stuff. I might have reflexively punched you in the junk on accident.”
She pursed her lips like a fish. “You could have tried.” Then more seriously, with her nose wrinkled she asked, “What does the little Tucker want now?”
I rolled my eyes. “For me to work late tonight. Because even though Black Soul has rejected all of my interesting ideas to ensure they become the most boring record label on the planet, Henry wants to go over my graphics. Again. He wants me to plan on a late night.”
“Weren’t you in there yesterday doing the same thing?”
I nodded. “And every day this week. He has a serious control freak problem. Also, a massive touching problem.”
Her eyebrows shot up to her hair line. “Is he still being inappropriate?”
My head dropped back and I stared at the ceiling. “He’s awful. I hate him.”
“Molly, what are you going to do?”
Her voice was a concerned whisper. She wanted me to go to HR again. But I’d already been twice and both times Doris had shrugged me off. I didn’t think a third time would matter. I didn’t think three thousand times would matter.
Doris was protecting her job and by proxy Henry. As long as he didn’t cross the line to full on sexual assault, she was going to let all the small things slide.
Only they didn’t feel like small things to me. They didn’t feel petty or forgetful or insignificant. They felt horrible.
I hated being the object of Henry’s unwanted attention. I loathed the way he would casually bump into me, pressing his body against mine for way longer than was appropriate. I hated that his eyes were always on my boobs, talking to them, staring at them, following them around wherever they went. I wanted to scream every time he made an inappropriate joke or called me a gross pet name.
He was out of line, and he behaved as though he was exempt from real world consequences. Maybe Doris wasn’t going to do anything about it, but I wasn’t going to take it either.
Fine, it had taken me this long to find the courage to truly stand up to him, but I had finally arrived. Watch out world.
I blamed Ezra. Ever since our conversation and intimate night at Bianca a little over a week ago, I hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that I was finally comfortable in my adult life, in my own skin. There was something suddenly so right about my apartment, my car, and my boyfriend, that I could almost overlook just how not right my job was.
Okay, the job was a big part of being a grown-up. But it was also something I’d let go of too. It didn’t need to be the absolute defining feature in my life. I’d released some of my mother’s voice and the expectations she’d placed on me to always be successful—at the cost of every other happiness.
She meant well, but that didn’t make her right. Ezra had helped me see that. Maybe I couldn’t totally believe it just yet. There was still lingering doubt, and years and years of performing and pleasing and pacifying. It would take a lot of work to get me in a healthier head space about who I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing with my life. I’d decided to borrow Ezra’s confidence and freedom until they felt like mine.
He said he’d learned that from his dad and their relationship. His dad had been very successful in business, but lonely in life. He hadn’t even known Ezra’s mom had gotten pregnant. She was a fling that Ezra’s dad, Immanuel, had met through mutual friends. It wasn’t until those friends revealed her secret years later, that Immanuel had started the tedious, frustrating process of finding Ezra. And when he found him it had been too late to rescue him from some of the hardest challenges any child should face.
His dad had brought Ezra to his house and given him a job, sent him to college and introduced him to his soon-to-be-beloved, little sister. And then he’d died, leaving Ezra almost everything. For as heartless as his dad seemed, he had a true knack for business.
Which Ezra obviously inherited.
We’d spent the last week sharing more and more about our lives, getting to know each other, learning the ins and outs of each other’s past, present and imagined future. And we’d been spending a fair amount of time kissing.
There had been a lot of kissing. And to be honest, a whole lot more than just kissing. The man drove me crazy. He was stubborn and impossible and so irresistible I wanted to scream.
Or maybe, I did scream. But like in a hotter, more consensual context.
“Hey, if you see Ethan can you send him to the office?” I asked Emily as I got ready to head to Henry’s lair.
She frowned, glancing around. “I think he’s out today. One of his kids is sick or something.”
“Argh,” I growled. “Kids are so annoying.” At her giggle, I added. “Just kidding. Only Ethan’s kids are annoying.” That garnered me a few dirty looks from surrounding coworkers. But I didn’t see any of them spending a whole lot of time with Henry alone in his office, so they could just save their judgment for someone else. “Are you heading out soon?” I asked her.
She nodded. “I am. I have a hair appointment tonight.”
“That’s exciting,” I told her, jealous that she got to go do something fun and relaxing while I had to sit with Henry Tucker all evening and dissect all the work I’d done that he wanted to take credit for. “Are you going lavender again?”
She pulled her hair over her shoulder, examining the faded ends of it. “Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.”
“I think you should go full mermaid. You would look amazing. And I would have epic hair envy.”
Her grin turned into a laugh. “Well, then it’s worth it.”
“Glad you see things my way.” I stood up, clutching my various necessities to my chest. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Hey, Molly.” Her serious tone made me pause. “Be careful, okay?”
“You mean with Henry?”
She nodded once. “Yeah. It worries me that he hasn’t gotten the hint to back off yet. Make sure you’re… I don’t know… on your guard.”
My mouth dried out at her concern. It was one thing to tell myself these things, but hearing them from a trusted friend escalated all of my wariness. “Thanks, Em. I appreciate you looking out for me.”
She waved me off. “You’d do the same for me.”
“Hey, that’s what friends are for.”
“It’s true,” she smiled again. “We drink together, we survive boring meetings together, but most of all we save each other from perverted bosses that try to feel us up next to the copier.
I couldn’t even force a laugh, it was too close to the truth to be funny. “Gross.”
“Text me later,” she hollered at my back.
“Will do!”
Even though I took the long way around the office, I still made it to Henry’s office in no time. He sat at his computer, staring thoughtfully at paperwork. My nose wrinkled with disgust automatically. I would rather be so many other places than his office right now. Like getting a root canal. Or a Brazilian wax. Or renewing my license at the DMV. Anything would be better than stepping into this office alone with this man.
I plastered on a professional, but blank expression and knocked on the half-opened door. “You wanted to see me?”
He looked up at me and smiled, his gaze traveling down the length of me before settling on my boobs. “Come in, Molly. Have a seat.”
With one last helpless glance around as my coworkers filtered out for the night, I finally gave up on escaping and did as he asked. He watched me sit down and cross my legs before he stood up and joined me in the chair usually reserved for Ethan.
Turning to me, he leaned forward and plucked the pen I’d been nervously clicking out of my hands. “That’s annoying,” he said casually.
“Sorry.” I cleared my throat, hating that I apologized so reflexively. “Nervous habit.”
“What is there to be nervous about?” he asked. “I’m not scary.”
You’re terrifying. “I don’t even
notice I’m doing it.”
“Well, relax. It’s all good things today.”
“About the Black Soul account?” I asked, mostly as a way to keep him on task. “Have you heard back about the new mock-ups?”
His smile stretched. “Yes, I have. Molly, they’re very impressed with your work. They wanted me to pass on the word that everything is coming along perfectly.”
It should have felt amazing to receive praise from a high-profile client. This was what I’d set out to do. I’d wanted this account for the sole purpose of impressing them. And yet… it fell flat.
I’d given up every one of my original designs and interesting ideas to cater to their style and lackluster vision. They were the client, so of course it made sense. But realizing all of the concessions I had made to please them lessened any pride I felt in the project.
I wasn’t really the mastermind behind a widely successful social media account—they were. I was the grunt that simply did their bidding.
That was obviously my job. They were paying me to bring their vision to life, not my own. My entire profession revolved around pleasing business owners and giving them what they wanted.
But for some reason, at this level, I had been expecting more. More freedom. More creative control. More room to be innovative, and take risks, and try new things. The reality was that I had less of everything. I had more of a leash than ever.
I was more dissatisfied than ever.
To Henry, I managed a weak smile. “That’s great.”
“It is,” he agreed, missing my lack of enthusiasm completely. “I took a risk on you, sweetheart. I can’t tell you how pleased I am to know it paid off.” His hand patted my knee and then stayed there.
I crossed my legs the other way, knocking his hand free. My shoulders pushed back and I sat up straighter, instantly on the defensive. “Glad to know it paid off for you.”
“I could have gone with anyone,” he added. “But I knew there was something special about you. Something I just couldn’t resist.”
My tongue was like a stone in my mouth, heavy and gritty, unwilling to show him gratitude. “Did you have more to say about the account, Henry?”
He looked over my shoulder at the now empty office. “You know, the client isn’t the only one impressed by what you did. I really enjoyed working with you. I think we made a great team.”
“Ethan helped,” I added slightly hysterical. I hated how he kept grouping us together, as if he could take credit for my job well done or worse, as if it meant something more than what it did. “Ethan is the reason either of us could do our job well.”
He ignored me, choosing instead to move his appreciative gaze over my fully clothed body as if I were sitting there buck naked. His hand landed on my thigh this time—flat, wide, and grossly heavy. “There are a lot of pretty girls out there, Molly. But I have to tell you, you are definitely one of the sexiest in this office.”
My goodwill dried up immediately. That wasn’t a nice thing to say. At best, it was a backhanded compliment. In reality, it was offensively out of line, and unwelcome. But the little Tucker had his head too far up his own ass to realize that. “Henry, if you don’t have anything else to say about the account, I’m going to leave.”
His eyelids hooded and his smile softened to only mildly condescending. “We make a good team, honey. I think we should try out our talents in other areas.”
Jumping to my feet, I moved as far away from Henry as possible. Unfortunately, I ended up cornering myself against the wall furthest from the door. My heart raced and my blood rushed with adrenaline. This was not happening. “I’m not comfortable with you talking to me like that,” I said firmly, sounding braver than I was.
He stood up too, pushing my chair to the side so he could walk straight to me. “Come on now, Molly. I gave you the biggest opportunity you’ve had yet. I went to bat for you. I included you on a project with a big fat commission. Don’t you think you should return the favor?”
My sense of professional pride took a serious hit. “I’m good at what I do,” I argued for some stupid reason. “You picked me because I was best suited for the job.”
He rolled his eyes even while he moved closer to me, crowding me against a filing cabinet. “I picked Ethan because he was best suited for the job. I picked you because you have the nicest rack in the office. You should feel flattered.” He leaned forward, pushing into my space. His hand reached out to touch me, but I swatted it away before he made contact. He looked mildly annoyed. “You should be grateful.”
I didn’t feel flattered. I sure as hell did not feel grateful. I felt disgusted. “You’re a pig,” I snarled. “And maybe HR is afraid of you, but I’m not. Back off, Henry. Tomorrow your dad can hear all about how you talk to women around the office. I’ve tried to be professional about this. I’ve tried to go through the right channels. But I’m done putting up with this misogynistic bullshit from you. You’re out of your goddamn mind if you think I’ll let you touch me.”
His smile disappeared and his face soured, speckling red with fury. “Why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and let those tits get you a promotion.”
My hand processed his words before my brain fully comprehended how awful they were. My palm hitting his cheek resounded with a loud smack, making him grunt at the impact. His head turned to the side as he brought his hand up to cradle his face.
Mine tingled as it settled back against my side in a fist. My entire body shook with rage and humiliation and unshed tears. “Keep your promotion,” I growled, venom dripping from every word. “And your help. I don’t want any of it. Stay away from me.”
His head snapped back to mine as he repositioned his body quickly to keep me from fleeing. “Relax, Molly, we’re just having some fun.” He slid his finger down the front of my blouse. I knocked it away, but he wasn’t deterred. “You owe me this. You fucking owe me this.”
I had never felt as sickened by someone’s words or humiliated. Fury vibrated through me, chased quickly by panic and frustration. I wanted to cry, but mostly I wanted to knee this asshole in the balls so hard he would choke on them, then run away.
Instead, I pushed him away and scrambled past him. “You’re a disgusting bastard,” I bit out, grabbing my things off the chair and rushing to the exit. “And everyone’s going to know it.”
He slumped against the edge of his desk, running a hand through his greasy hair. His smug smile reappeared, confidence twinkling in his narrowed eyes. “Nobody’s going to believe you, doll. You messed up. This is my company, my house. You’re done.”
I paused at the door, finally speaking the words I had wanted to say for weeks. “Fuck you.”
His grin widened. “That’s what I was trying to do!”
Oh my god, what an asshole. I fled the office, rushing past a desk that I would be happy to never return to. I grabbed my purse, but abandoned my laptop. It was the company’s anyway and I wanted nothing to do with anything that belonged to STS.
Not unless they fired Henry Tucker.
I didn’t take a breath until I was safely in my car and out of the parking garage. My hands trembled aggressively as I tried to see through frustrated tears. My stomach roiled as I fought the urge to puke. My mind spun and spun and spun with the entire spectrum of emotions I couldn’t land on.
I was angry. Furious. Outraged. Anything and everything mad. But I was also shocked in a way that made me feel completely detached from what had happened. Had he really come on to me? Had he really said those awful things? Offered a promotion for sleeping with him?
The whole thing felt violently strange. Should I go to the police? Had he committed a crime? Or was this something the office had to handle.
I loathed the idea of making a scene about this, of drawing attention to myself over his horrific behavior. I hated the idea of having to talk to his dad, confessing Henry’s intentions and sharing the disgusting words he’d said. I knew I had to. I knew that I was right. But that didn’t negate the embarrassment and humiliation on my part. I would have to face both things—doing what was right and owning up to the rumors, reputation and reality of what had happened.
More tears surfaced. I was probably more frustrated than anything. I hated conflict, and I also hated being the center of attention on me, and now I would have to face both. Not because of anything I did, but because of the grotesque actions of someone else.
“It’s not fair,” I hiccupped uselessly in the car. Which, of course, it wasn’t. But what a ridiculous thing to say. Especially in light of everything that had happened. Especially acknowledging all that did not happen, all that I avoided by running away.
Rationally, I knew that it could have been worse. I realized that Henry had held back. He hadn’t physically assaulted me. He hadn’t raped me. He hadn’t hurt me. But that didn’t make his actions more right or less wrong. He still had behaved in the worst possible way. There were just certain things I needed to be grateful for.
I sniffled, blindly grabbing for a tissue from my purse. Wiping my eyes, I tried to decide on my next plan of action, but I couldn’t make sense of my thoughts.
I had likely just lost my job. Henry had his dad’s ear. He was set to take over in the next couple years. He was future CEO, and my boss, and an integral part of SixTwentySix. I was nobody. And before Black Soul, the project Henry had given me, I had worked on the lowest of all the projects.
It was his word against mine.
Which meant I better update my resume.
And even if I didn’t get fired for this, did I really want to go back? What if Henry didn’t take over his dad’s job? What if he only stayed on as an employee? It was no longer a place I could see a future at or even contemplate finishing out the week.
I pulled into the parking lot without knowing where I was heading. I couldn’t remember consciously deciding to drive here.
The wall of ivy was blooming vibrantly green, and the tree in the courtyard had budded with dainty white flowers. The building looked bewitching framed by the golden, setting sun. Bianca was the safe haven I needed.
I didn’t overthink my choice to find Ezra. I didn’t even think far enough ahead to worry if he would be here or not. I just needed him to tell me everything was okay when everything felt decidedly not okay. I needed his calm stability to sooth the fiery nerves exploding beneath my skin. I needed his strong arms wrapped around me, reminding me that there were good, decent men in this world.
And beyond what I wasn’t able to think through and rationalize, I just needed him. It was as simple and as complicated as that.