Chapter Fourteen
Katrina
Both Thonis and Warmund were with Audiv when Katrina brought the atlas back. The relief on their faces was tangible when she set it down. Warmund hurried over to her and, to her surprise, pulled her into an embrace.
“I thought…” he started, then trailed off.
Who knew that an atlas would be such a tell. Katrina lightly hugged him back, uncertain. This relationship was so new. Her gaze traveled to Indulf. They loved her so much, even before she knew it. It was going to hurt them both… but she knew that they couldn’t love her more than they loved their mates and children combined. This hurt, but that pain would be agony.
Katrina stepped away from Warmund and turned to Indulf. “Can I go to Earth to say goodbye?”
Indulf flinched. “When we open the portals next, it needs to be for the last time.”
“I see.” She looked past him to the wall. If she died in this attempt, she wouldn’t ever be able to explain to her parents. Tears started to fill her eyes. “I am going back to my room.”
Warmund touched her arm. “I thought we could—”
“You spend tonight with your mate and children,” Katrina forced a smile. “I have Thonis. I doubt you’d want to see what I plan to do with him.”
Warmund flinched but didn’t press. Thankful for his silence, Katrina turned on her heel and headed for the door. The thought crossed her mind that if she never saw them again, they might take this as anger… She didn’t want them thinking that she was angry with them when she—if she died. In the doorway, she turned and looked at them both, wondering what to say.
“I had a good life on Earth,” she finally decided. “And I loved it. I understand why you decided not to tell me the truth right away. I know how hard it must have been for you. I’m glad that I was able to meet you and get to know you before all of this happened.”
Indulf nodded, a shine in his eyes. “And I’m glad that you came back into my life. I’m just sorry it had to be like this.”
“Me, too.”
There wasn’t anything more she could say. So, with a final smile, she walked away. By the time she reached her chambers, her limbs were heavy, and her heart felt like it was ready to burst. Tears pressed against her eyes, but she fought them. When she entered and found Thonis standing at the window, the bag of relics at his feet, the floodgates burst. She ran forward, letting all her emotions tangle in one giant knot and threw herself at him.
They didn’t talk. Emotions ran too high for words. Katrina wrapped herself around him, already struggling with his clothes before their lips even touched. Their mouths crashed together, teeth clinking as their hands roamed over each other’s bodies. Thonis snarled into her mouth, the reverberation shaking into her body.
She pulled down his pants, yanking them all the way to the floor before she knelt and took him in her hand. One of his hands wrapped in her hair. He opened his mouth but didn’t say anything as he let out a grunting noise. Katrina took that as enough and, moving her hand up and down his shaft, took the tip of him into her mouth. Thonis grunted again, his head falling back. She took him deeper, loving the way he hardened in her mouth.
Some of the desperation raging in her eased; Thonis was here with her, they had time. Maybe not a lot of time, but they did have time. She slowed her movements slightly, focusing instead on technique. She swirled her tongue over his head before wrapping her lips around him. When she sucked again, Thonis let out a small cry. His hips rocked back and forth with the movement of her hand. The hand wrapped in her hair tightened; pricklings of pain started in her scalp, but Katrina welcomed the sensation; she relished it, proof that she was alive and with the man she loved.
Love. She took him deeper, adjusting her position as he bent over her to tug on the raised hem of her shirt. It was a strange word. It meant such different things in different contexts, but there was no denying what this swollen warmth in her chest was. Fires may rage through her blood and her core could tighten to the point of pain, but this? This was more marvelous than the highest orgasm. This feeling of love burning in her.
“Katrina.” Thonis pulled away long enough to tug her shirt over her head, then took her shoulders and pushed her back. He knelt, continuing to encourage her to lie. Once she was, he pressed tender, fiery kisses down her body until he reached her waistband. There he lingered as he slowly tugged her pants off altogether. “Katrina, I… I want you to know how much I care about you.”
She nodded. A lump welled in her throat, but her eyes stayed surprisingly dry. Thonis pulled her pants off and laid them to one side as he ran a hand up her thigh. She spread her legs for him, her fires smoldering as she reached to comb her fingers through his hair.
Thonis kissed down her leg, then up her thigh and to her core. He found his target quickly and the fires inside of her burned even hotter. A tight feeling coiled inside. Katrina let out a small cry. One of Thonis’ hands slid up her stomach and began to toy with her breast. His strong fingers kneaded into her flesh and she placed one of her hands over his, encouraging him to continue.
Tremors ran down her legs as the fire slid higher in her stomach. His tongue laved over her, hitting all the right places. Katrina writhed under his attention, holding to him tightly, one hand on his, the other in his hair.
Time didn’t mean anything anymore. It was too early and too late all at once. If she said nothing now, would be she able to say it later? If she had said it before, would they have been able to experience something even more powerful?
“I love you,” she whispered. A finger pushed inside of her while his tongue still laved, and she arched her back crying out. “I love you!”
In the next moment, his mouth was over hers, his words filling the air between them. “I love you, too. I love you so much, Katrina…”
Her fingers ran over his back, loving the feel of his strong muscles. He lowered himself between her legs, and she clenched her thighs around his hips. The closeness of their bodies was already too much, and yet she wanted more. She wanted this for the rest of her life. No matter how short or long that might be. Their lips pressed together as they ground their bodies; when Thonis reached down and guided himself in, it was like fireworks exploding in her brain.
She didn’t want to take it slow and neither did he; he started to thrust at once. She cupped his face in her hands and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer. They stared into each other’s eyes as their cries grew louder. The smell of smoke filled the air and the fires inside of her spread to every inch of her body. Her skin was too tight, she was going to burst apart at any moment.
Thonis pressed another kiss to her mouth, his tongue thrusting against hers and everything flew apart. Dark waves washed over her vision. Her legs kicked out as shudders ran down them. Thonis jerked, stiffened and she felt him filling her. Her fingers dug into his skin as she cried out, the pleasure too much for her to take.
After they were both finished, they lay in the pile of furs, clutching at one another as they panted for breath. Thonis tangled his fingers into her hair, his lips softly brushing over her cheekbone. The tenderness of his touch made her want to cry. Out of everything, being here with him, feeling the warmth emanating from his body, made her wonder if this was the right choice. If she was being too narrow-minded; maybe there was another way…
But they were out of time. If there was another way, it would remain lost in the depths of the unknown.
Katrina turned her face to press into his skin. As it had every night since they learned what was causing the tremors, his strength seeped into her body. She knew how much this had to be killing him. But he was willing to do it anyway, for her and for Byrelmore. That was a strength she didn’t know if she would have if their places were reversed.
“Oh, my love,” Thonis whispered, a hand sliding down her thigh. “I don’t know how to begin to process my feelings.”
“Me neither.”
A ball of dread sat in her chest, making it difficult to breathe. Doom hung over her. A guillotine waiting to fall. And the uncertainty of whether it would fall or not. Katrina wasn’t sure what was worse—thinking that she might die, or not knowing if she would survive. Her breath started to come faster, and she squeezed her eyes shut as her resolve faltered.
I must do this! My parents didn’t raise me to give up when the going got tough. They didn’t raise me to be complacent, they didn’t raise me to turn my back and hide my head when there was something I could do.
Thonis kissed her again. His lips were wet, and it took a moment for her to realize he had kissed away a tear falling from her eyes.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered. “Please. I can’t bear it.”
Katrina managed a smile at him. “It’s just because I yawned.”
He wiped another tear away. “I can’t believe I’m really doing this. Is there no way for me to change your mind?”
“No… and would you really want there to be?” She propped herself up on her elbow and stared down at him as her fingers dusted over his bare chest. The look on his face was all the answer she needed. “I know it’s hard. But…” How many times could she say she had to do this? “There isn’t any other choice.”
“I wish there was.”
“I know.” Her voice broke. “I wish there was, too. I’m so afraid… but the alternative? That’s even worse.”
Thonis pulled her down again. He rolled so he was over her and with one hand reached between her legs while the other cupped her face. As the heat started to tighten in her core again, blissfully washing away all thoughts, he kissed her, gently and then with increasing determination.
“I will be at your side,” he promised her, grinding his length against her while continuing to work on her with his hand. “No matter what happens, I will be at your side. I will never let you go.”
Katrina tangled her fingers in his hair, loving the heat that rolled off him. She arched her back, indicating her need, and cried out with pleasure as he pushed himself into her. As he began to thrust, his eyes glittered with unshed tears while they moved in rhythm with each other.
“Never,” he whispered again. “Never let you go.”
She wanted to tell him that he might have to. She wanted to say that he needed to see this through to whatever end there was. But at that moment, all she wanted was him. To hold him and pretend like if they held onto each other tight enough, it would be okay. And so, she wrapped her arms more firmly around him and whispered back.
“I’m not letting you go, either. You are mine and I am yours. From this breath to our last.”