He loved her. It was unbelievable and beyond possible and yet Callum was certain of it as he watched the moonlight cast shadows upon her sleeping face. He trailed his thumb across the delicate curve of her lip. He had to make sure she was happy by his side because he couldn’t lose her.

That much was perfectly clear. This was exactly what he’d been hoping to avoid, this emotional attachment. What if she saw how weak he was when the memories plagued him? Would she lose any affection she had for him? But how could he hold such a beautiful, intelligent, strong woman this close to his body and not want to cherish her?

Impossible. He supposed that is why he’d avoided a physical relationship with any woman for so long. At least he knew she was strong enough to withstand the changing tide of his emotions.

It was that thought that relaxed him enough to fall asleep.

It was restful at first. But his guard was down, and soon the dreams came. He was alone in an open field, and Indian soldiers were everywhere. He couldn’t see them, but he could feel them. The grass shifted in strange ways, and the trees rustled without wind. While he didn’t dare stay still for fear of being found, every move he made, he risked being discovered.

And then he was upon him. The bayonet slashed toward him as more men rushed him from behind. He let out a cry, half anger, half fear as he fought for his life, blood oozing down his face.

He lashed out and felt his arm knock into flesh. Had he bested his assailant?

“Callum,” a voice called to him. Soft and soothing it was in stark contrast to the dream. “Wake up,” it pleaded. “Wake up, my love.”

Opening his eyes, Elizabeth’s face loomed just in front of his. She held his cheek in one hand her other hand covering her chin. “Callum?”

“I’m awake,” he gasped, blinking his eyes.

She wrapped her arms about his neck again, pulling him closer. “It’s all right,” she soothed.

“Did I scare ye?” he asked, his breath still coming out in short gasps.

“No, you warned me.” She moved her hand from her own face to touch the other side of his. That’s when he saw it, a darkening spot on her jaw.

“Bloody hell,” he grunted as he touched the spot where he’d surely hit her in his sleep. Then he closed his eyes, shame making him bury his head in her neck.

“It’s all right.” She soothed.

“It isnae,” he spoke into her neck. “I promised ye I’d never hurt ye. We’ve only been married a few hours and already I’ve broken my promise.”

“Stop it.” Elizabeth stroked his cheeks, kissing the top of his head. “You cannot count night terrors. Do you want to tell me about it?”

He shook his head. “Not really. It’s the same dream I have nearly every time. I’m being rushed by several men, one cuts my face.”

She held him tighter. “I used to have dreams that I was at a ball, wearing my ragged patchwork clothing. Everyone lined up and laughed at me. They jeered and taunted and I would beg them to stop. I couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t just leave me be.”

“Do ye still have them?” he asked, leaning back to look at her now.

She shook her head. “Not for a while.” She caressed his cheek, her fingers skimming along the stubble. “I know it’s not the same as your dreams.”

“In many ways it is and it’s why I married ye. I knew ye’d understand more than most. Thank ye, lass.” He pulled her closer. “But ye shouldn’t be comfortin’ me. It’s me who should be takin’ care of ye.”

She gave him a glowing smile then. “Pish. Even I know wives provide many comforts for their husbands. It’s one of the only ways society allows women to be strong and you, husband, will not be taking it away from me.”

He gave her a wide grin, his fears forgotten. She was glorious. He’d chosen a woman who he thought wouldn’t run from his nightmares, but in some strange way, his weakness had brought them closer together. In all his imaginings, this had never occurred to him. How he had been so lucky to find her?

“We’ll find other ways for you to show the world how strong ye are,” he said.

“Do you mean it?” She pushed him onto his back, her body sliding on top of his.

“Every word,” he replied. And he did.

Her body was pliant against his, so soft and willing. He groaned as her hair cascaded around him. He couldn’t imagine being without her. And he’d do everything in his power to protect her.

* * *

The past week had been like a dream, Elizabeth thought wistfully. Callum had spent his days rethatching the roof, while she tended her aunt. Without laundry to wash and mend, she was free to give Aunt Mary the care she needed to recover.

And the nights...Callum had been correct when he said it would get better. Though, not wanting to be overheard by her aunt, they’d found themselves in a myriad of locations that afforded them privacy but not necessarily comfort.

Elizabeth was looking forward to traveling to her new home where they would have the benefit of a bed chamber.

Though the thought of that change proved discomforting as well. Would they still get along the same way when Callum returned to his responsibilities? And what would her life be like as a countess? Would it be managing servants and wearing pretty dresses? It made her shudder. She’d do it for Callum but in her heart, she wanted more meaning in her life. She’d come so far from the girl who would have been content with that existence.

“Are you dreaming of your husband again?” Aunt Mary pinched her arm playfully as they sat in their tiny parlor.

She blushed and, ignoring the question, stood from her chair. “Are you up for a walk around the cottage?”

“So that we might ogle your earl? Absolutely.” The older woman grinned as she stood.

“Please, do not ogle him,” Elizabeth begged as she held out her arm.

Aunt Mary gave a small cough. “I’m an old woman. I can do as I like.” They shuffled to the front door. “Has he said how long the journey to his home in Scotland will take?”

“Our home.” Elizabeth winked. “He insists on calling it that.” They stepped out on the front path just as Callum came into view.

“I do.” He grinned at the ladies.

Her aunt gave him a beaming smile back. “I just asked how long the journey will take. I think I am up for it whenever you wish to travel.”

Surprise lit his gaze and his eyes twinkled as he replied, “Excellent, I’ve found a buyer for the cottage and I’m nearly done with the roof. We’ll leave in a few days’ time.”

Elizabeth nodded but her insides tightened further. There was no going back now, not that she wanted to. While part of her looked forward to her new life, she wasn’t ready for the changes Scotland would bring.

Callum studied her face, but didn’t ask questions and she remained silent while her aunt prattled on.

Once back in the cottage, Elizabeth settled Mary down for a nap, then returned to the parlor where she found Callum waiting for her. Without a word, he pulled her into his arms. “Don’t be nervous,” he soothed.

“How did you know I’m nervous?” She pulled back to look into his face.

He kissed her, long and slow. “I’m startin’ tae understand ye.” He stroked her cheek. “I’ll try to take some time to get ye settled. Being a countess means ye’ll have to help the people on my land. But then we’ll figure out what else will fit ye.”

“I love you,” she said without thought and then her heart nearly jumped out of her chest. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

He hesitated, his eyes looking pained and she heard him swallow. It wounded her, his wordless rejection and she made to pull away but he stopped her and pulled her close again. “I don’t ken how Ewan decided to match us together but we’ll have to give him a proper thank ye when we see him next.”

She supposed that was something but his hesitation, and the fact that he hadn’t returned her sentiment, left her feeling raw and open, where she’d been content and safe before. There was nothing to for it now, though. They were married, she’d made her choice. She could only hope that they’d come to an understanding of affection in time.

The next few days passed in a flurry of packing and planning until the three of them set off in the carriage for the coast. They’d spend most of the day making the journey to the sea and then they’d sail that night for Scotland.

She’d hope they would have time together on the boat but it was late when they’d finally set sail and the journey was short. Without meaning to, she’d fallen into a sound sleep only to be wakened when it was time to leave the ship and begin the final leg of their journey to her new home.

Elizabeth sat next to Callum and her aunt across from them. The older woman had already fallen asleep, leaving Elizabeth and Callum in a state of partial privacy. Elizabeth found herself longing for the night as he brushed his knee against hers.

The day passed with infuriating slowness until the air smelled of salt again. Mary woke, and Elizabeth craned her neck to catch a glimpse of his home, their home.

“Does your castle overlook the water?” she asked.

“Aye, it does.” Callum sounded amused.

“Wonderful.” She clapped, feeling lighter than she had since the journey had begun. Her worries, forgotten for the moment. “Are we almost there?”

“Nearly. We’ll pass through the village first.”

“Can we stop there first for just a little while?” This would be where she shopped for food and clothes, spend time getting to know the people. Somehow, it was important to take it in.

“That’s a fine idea, lass.” Callum reached for her hand.

“I agree,” Aunt Mary said. “You two go ahead. I’ll stay here.”

As the carriage rumbled over stone pathways, the driver stopped and Elizabeth and Callum stepped out.

Placing her arm in the crook of his elbow, they started down the street of the village, passing the baker and the butcher as they made their way toward the end of the street. The sound of metal hitting metal pulled Elizabeth toward the smithy’s shop.

Just outside two children played quietly. Even from a distance, Elizabeth could see that their clothes needed mending.

Callum, seeing her gaze, leaned down and whispered, “Their mother passed last year. Damon is working hard to provide for them, but it is difficult to do the work of two.”

Elizabeth swallowed the lump in her throat. She’d had her aunt to give her motherly love. Those poor children.

Returning to the carriage, they made their way to the castle once again but Elizabeth’s excitement had been dampened. She sat staring out the window without really seeing. She wished there was someone to help the blacksmith and his family.

As the castle loomed ahead of her, her thoughts slowly returned to her own future. His ancestral home was a massive stone structure, jutting up into the sky from its perch on a cliff. It looked as though it had been there for a thousand years and would be for a thousand more. Elizabeth turned to her husband. “How did you stay in that tiny cottage with us coming from this?”

He gave her hand a squeeze. “I loved the cottage.” Then he leaned over to whisper in her ear. “It’s where we met.”

She wanted to believe this was a declaration of some kind. But it wasn’t. Still, it was a momentus day and she wanted to enjoy it with her new husband. Taking a deep breath, she waited for Callum to hand her aunt out and then she accepted his hand as she stepped out of the carriage once again. A staff of twenty servants lined up to greet her.

Taking a deep breath, she stood straight in her readymade gown. Giving them a gracious smile, she accepted each of their welcomes with all the grace she possessed. After two years of being a near servant herself, she had a much deeper understanding of their position.

The housekeeper, Mrs. McDougal, gave her a friendly greeting. “If there is anythin’ ye need to tae settle in, just ask.”

“Thank you,” she replied, sure she would need that help more than once.

Walking into the main hall, Callum took her hand in his. She took in the worn tapestries, stone walls, and lit fires. “It’s so big,” she murmured.

“Aye, it is.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “Our suite of rooms will be our private space. Let’s go have a look.”

“That would be wonderful.” She looked round as he led her toward the main stairs. It took what seemed a ridiculously long time, but finally, Callum opened a door off the dark hallway. An expansive, surprisingly bright room filled with sunlight spread out before her with a large bed at its center.

Grinning, she breezed over to it and then flopped herself down upon the mattress. It was massive and soft and likely her favorite part of her new home. “This is divine,” she said, then inhaled a large breath as Callum moved to stand over her.

“Aye, it is.” He held her eyes with his, devouring her with his gleaming hot gaze while brushing her cheek.

Her own body stirred. Between the cottage and the ship, they hadn’t much time together alone. She reached for him, and pulled him onto her body. “I’m glad to be here with you,” she said as she looked into his dark, bottomless eyes.

“I’m glad that ye’re glad,” he said sinking onto hers.

A knock sounded at the door and Elizabeth scowled. This was her one moment to enjoy her husband and already it was being interrupted.

Callum ignored the sound, his lips sliding over her neck, but then a voice called out, “My lord.”

“What?” Callum responded his hands on the buttons of her dress.

“There’s a fire, my lord. The Drury farm,” the muffled voice replied.

Callum jumped from the bed and taking her hand, kissed it. “I have to go.”

She blinked and he strode toward the door. “Should I come with you?”

“Nae, lass. It’ll be nasty work. Stay here where yer safe.” Then he opened the door and was gone without another word.

She became aware that her mouth was hanging open and rubbed her face with her hands, trying to make sense of what had just happened. He’d left after mere minutes of returning.

Not that she begrudged him helping others. She understood his duties, and what was more, felt pride that he was so willing to put himself in danger to care for his tenants. Callum was needed, she was sure of it. But would this be her life? Loving a man who was forever off doing for others, not just because it was his duty, but because he didn’t have the same depth of feeling for her that she had for him? Since the day she’d confessed her love and he hadn’t returned it, she’d been concerned. Now, as he’d left with barely a backward glance, she couldn’t quiet her fears any longer. It made her heart sink.

She waited all afternoon, but Callum never returned. What if he’d been hurt? What if he was simply taking his time because he wasn’t that eager to return to her? She hated these thoughts but they came anyway. Having dinner with her Aunt Mary, she saw the woman settled for the night before she wandered further into the house. She’d likely get lost but at least she’d be doing something. She couldn’t pace in a single room any longer.

Mrs. McDougal appeared in front of her. “Can I help ye wit’ anything?”

Drat, she couldn’t even get lost in peace. “Any word on the fire?”

The lines of Mrs. McDougal’s face tightened. “They can’t find one of the Drury children. Such a shame.”

Elizabeth’s heart beat wildly in her chest. Here she’d been lamenting being useless while some poor family was missing their child. “Mrs. McDougal, can you take me to help?”

The other woman’s eyes lit first with approval. “Let’s make a quick basket of food to take. I bet no one’s eaten a thing.”

Within a half hour they had set out to the farm. The wagon bumped along the rutted path in the darkening sky, but Elizabeth paid it no mind. It felt so good to be out, to be helping.

They arrived at the charred structure, and Elizabeth winced to see the burnt-out shell of a home. It pained her even more to see the worried faces of the tenants.

Callum came striding over, his face set in hard lines. “What are ye doin’ here, lass? I told ye not to come. It’s not that I’m not happy tae see ya, but it’s your first day here and—”

Elizabeth bit her lip, he didn’t sound all that happy to see her. “We brought food for everyone.” She lifted the large basket out of the wagon. “And blankets for anyone who is cold.”

Callum relaxed, approval lighting his eyes. “That was kind of ye.”

“I heard there is a child missing?” She leaned over to stroke her husband’s cheek. She’d missed him today.

“Aye. We’ve searched everywhere and called over and over.” He leaned in to close the distance between them. “They swear the child was out of the house, but I can’t help think that…”

She reached for his hand. She knew he didn’t want to say the child had likely perished in the fire. He helped her down from the wagon and she pulled the supplies she’d brought, ready to hand out food.

An older woman, who could only be Mrs. Drury, cried softly as she accepted the meat and cheese. “I brought her out meself,” the woman cried. “I dunnae ken what could have happened.”

A young woman holding a baby, came to place her hand on the other’s shoulder. “It will be all right, ma. We’ll find Fiona.”

But the mother shook her head. “Ye ken as well as anyone it isn’t always all right. Look at ye, Caroline, trying to care for that baby with Angus gone.”

Elizabeth winced. Much as her fate hadn’t been kind, these people had been suffering. Were suffering now.

“Fiona, how old is she?” Elizabeth asked.

“Four, my lady,” the younger woman, Caroline, responded.

Elizabeth inwardly winced. The girl was so little. “Tell me about her.”

“She’s a wild one,” Caroline shook her head sadly. “Always runnin’ free, hidin’ in the barn.”

“She wouldn’t be hiding there now would she?” Elizabeth asked hopefully.

“We’ve checked, my lady,” the older woman said.

Elizabeth took a long slow breath. “What else can you tell me about her?”

“Well,” Caroline started. “She loves the dogs, eats everything in sight, and she’s forever singin’ wit’ all her breath.”

“She helps her father wit’ the plowin’. Always two steps behind him.”

Elizabeth nodded as the men once again fanned out and began calling for her. Their voices were harsh, their worry evident.

“Stop,” Elizabeth called suddenly. “Stop calling for her.” If the child was still alive, she was too young to respond to such harshness, she’d come out to the quiet call of a mother.

Callum turned to her, looking surprised and mildly irritated. “Elizabeth, it’s gettin’ dark. We’ve got to find her or—”

“Ladies, we have to sing. She’s a child. If she’s frightened, their voices won’t help.” Understanding lit both Caroline and her mother’s eyes. They began a lullaby, soft and high.

Blow the wind, blow;

Swift and low;

Blow the wind o'er the ocean.

Breakers rolling to the coastline;

Bringing ships to harbor;

Gulls against the morning sunlight;

Flying off to freedom!

Elizabeth caught the melody and joined in as Mrs. McDougal added her voice. As the notes pitched up, and their voices carried, a small figure appeared in the door of the barn.

The women stopped abruptly as Caroline and her mother raced to the little girl. It could only be Fiona.

“Well, I’ll be a horse’s arse,” one of the men said softly as he shook his head.

“Where were ye?” Mrs. Drury cried, snatching up the child in her arms.

Fiona blinked. “Wit’ the dogs. I was scared.”

Callum came to her side. “How did you know that?” His arms wound around her as he pulled her close.

“Just an instinct,” she said against his chest.

“I think.” He took a breath. “That you will find your life as a countess on the Highlands will be filled with far more meaning than you first thought. I ken ye won’t be supportin’ yerself, but you will be helping all of them. Ye’ll be helpin’ me.”

A feeling of satisfaction lit her from within. She’d make it her mission to help the people here. Whatever his feelings for her, he would value her and he would never leave her alone. That had to be enough. “Oh Callum,” she breathed. “That is everything.”

“I ken, my love.”