Parts of Cyrus’s skin had been melted to his jacket. As he’d healed his body expelled the fabric, so I didn’t need to clean the wounds, but I’d still spent hours with a pair of tweezers and a soft cloth soaked in alcohol tending to every one.

Cyrus’s guard stood close at first, watching me, a bewildered expression on his face that had been there from the moment I’d pulled up in front of the house. He’d helped me bring Cyrus up to his room. Brought me all the supplies I asked for. Kept fresh bags of blood close at hand for when I changed Cyrus’s IV.

He never asked why I was taking care of Cyrus. Which was good.

Because I didn’t have an answer.

For two nights Cyrus had been laying here, his wounds slowly closing, but he hadn’t woken yet. His body took in blood so slowly I started to wonder what I was doing wrong. I’d been burned by the sun and healed faster than this. Permanent marks on creatures like us took sustained heat, and as far as I knew, only metal had ever done that kind of damage. Like the brand on my face. Or Vince’s eye.

Had Rosali’s death somehow weakened him? Was the blood not fresh enough? I slit my wrist on a fang and pressed the bloody wound to his lips, cursing under my breath when my blood spilled down his cheek, pooling in his hair and on the sheets.

“I don’t know what else to do, Cyrus.” I pressed my wrist against my thigh and glared at him. “Have you given up? Is that it? You’ve done enough damage and you’re ready to die?” I slammed my other hand into the center of his bare chest. “You’re a fucking coward, you know that? You finally do something decent and now you’re finished? Well too fucking bad. Your men won’t go after Alrik while they see me here, fighting to keep you alive. And I owe you shit for saving my life, so long as I try to save yours.”

He didn’t react. Probably didn’t hear a word of my rant.

But I couldn’t stop. Seeing him in this bed, looking so fucking weak, was like having the door to my cage left open. I wasn’t ready to leave it just yet, but sensing freedom so close destroyed the walls I’d built to protect myself.

I didn’t need them anymore.

“You’ve finally started to feel something, haven’t you? You pretend it’s all about power, but something’s missing.” I thought back on that day when I’d been with Daederich at the carnival. We were so happy, so damn in love, so high on life it felt like nothing could touch us. Then I’d spotted Alrik. Cyrus had taken him and brought him there so we’d know every precious moment we’d stolen for ourselves had cost us the life we’d wanted for the boy.

Something normal. Something we couldn’t give him.

Something he’d never have again.

“You made sure we’d see you. Made sure we knew we’d never be free. You found another way to keep us in your chains.” Whatever else Daederich had done, that night had been real. He’d known, from that moment, that his son might experience everything he had. Our lives had ended then. Lost all meaning. Our only purpose was to find Alrik. To spare him as much pain as possible.

Cyrus could have killed Alrik, but he’d kept him. Found a sweet young teacher to care for him. He hadn’t destroyed the boy, though he hadn’t been able to avoid traumatizing him. There was no way to keep a child close to the horror of Cyrus’s existence without exposing him to the darkness.

But the point had been to torment the people who loved that little boy more than anything. To make us suffer for that love.

“I don’t want you to die. I should, but I don’t.” I stood and paced away from the bed, raking my hands through my hair. “I think… I think I want to understand. I want to look at you and know why all this happened. Why you found such pleasure in trying to break me. You almost did. You came so fucking close…”

Looking back, I tried to pinpoint the moment when I’d stopped seeing Cyrus as simply the evil that needed to be eliminated. When I’d started trying to figure out a reason behind his actions. When he’d started to seem more…human.

And it had been when I had no one else. When Daederich had become the enemy. When Elah had been broken down to a shadow of himself. When the only person I had was Cyrus.

He’d isolated me. Taken the only reality I had and twisted it into something unrecognizable.

I had no future. No past.

Only him.

Without him, I had nothing.

He’d made me believe that. Even now I couldn’t imagine a day without him in it. My pleasure, my pain, belonged to him. My every waking moment, my very life, revolved around him. That had become my new normal and I couldn’t see a way out.

There was no way out.

Unless I remembered who I was. Apart from him and Daederich and Elah and Alrik.

What did I want?

Did I want to die? If I forgot about them all, did living really matter at all? I didn’t have a family. I’d tried to build a new one, but I’d lost them. I’d tried to find a purpose in life, but that had only led me back here.

Death had seemed such an easy escape, but every time I had a chance to take it, I found a reason to keep going. To keep fighting. Immortality could give me a thousand lifetimes, but I only wanted one.

One I’d never have if I didn’t break free of this endless cycle.

Cyrus groaned, lines of pain creasing his beautiful face as his eyes opened. His gaze seemed distant, as though he wasn’t seeing me at all. “She’s still alive.” He reached for me blindly, his voice raspy, as though he’d been screaming. “You have to find her. Kill her. She’s making me feel everything she does.”

“Tell me.” I leaned close to him, whispering. “What does she feel?”

His lips parted and his whole body jerked. “The roof caved in. She’s trapped. Her skin is all burned away. Something heavy is crushing her. The splinters of her bones are tearing her apart from the inside. She doesn’t have the strength to heal. She knows this could last forever and she wants me to suffer with her. This won’t end until you kill her.”

I smiled and brushed a kiss over his lips. “Good.”

Eyes widening, he turned his head toward me, his gaze still far away. “You can’t do this to me. I saved you from her. I protected you. I—”

“Why did she suddenly show up, Cyrus?” I put my hand on his arm and he cried out. I cocked my head, brushing my fingers along his side and his back bowed. “Does that hurt?”

“Yes, you fucking bitch!” He panted, his eyes going wild. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”

“Then tell me.” I grazed his cheek with my knuckles and he made a choked sound. It was like all his nerves were exposed and every touch was pure agony. “Rosali wanted revenge. She might have made me suffer on her own, but… You know what, I don’t care.” I trailed my fingers down to his throat. He hissed, trying to wrench away from me, but he was trapped, chained in Rosali’s living nightmare. “I became everything you wanted me to be, but that wasn’t enough, was it? She was right, you wanted love.”

“I did.” Cyrus let out a weak laugh, letting his head fall to the side, facing me. “The idea of it fascinated me. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get you out of my mind. Why I was willing to risk everything to have you again. The idea of being in love with you sickened me at first. How could I be consumed by such a pathetic emotion?” He inhaled. Shuddered. “But making you love me in return was a challenge. And I was bored.”

Shaking my head, I reached over and covered his mouth with one hand. And raked the nails of the other down his chest. He bucked, tears filling his eyes as I muffled his screams. “That’s not love, Cyrus. That’s obsession. I almost feel sorry for you—you can’t tell the difference. Instead, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret.” I leaned down, licking a bloody tear from his cheek. Savoring his pain might make me as fucked up as he was, but I didn’t care. I’d earned this moment. And I’d enjoy every single second. “Rosali loves you. What you’re feeling now is her love. It’s all that’s keeping her alive.”

Cyrus relaxed against the bed, his eyes glistening, his lips curving under my palm. I moved my hand, his smile sending a chill down my spine. “Is that what this is?” He latched on to the back of my neck in a sharp motion, crying out as though the simple movement was torture. “Then share it with me.”

I couldn’t move, because my bones had shattered, a massive weight crushing them, tearing through what little was left of my flesh, ripping apart raw, exposed muscles. Every part of my body was blazing, as though acid had been poured over me, liquefying my skin and leaving my nerves bare to the ash and wind which burned like an endless inferno.

Behind my closed lids, beyond the echo of my own screams, came the soft sound of water laving against smooth rocks. An owl hooted and I was running and laughing, tripping over the red silk that wrapped around my legs, but somehow, I managed not to fall.

“I tire of these games, Rosali.” Cyrus called out. I glanced toward the trees across the creek and he appeared, leaning against the smooth bark of a tall willow. He’d abandoned his jacket during the chase, now wearing nothing but snug pants, tall riding boots, and a white shirt with half the buttons undone.

Seeing him like that, my breath caught.

No. Not mine.

Rosali’s.

I was in her memories, looking at Cyrus through her eyes. Reliving the past to escape the pain of the present. And using her bond to Cyrus, she dragged him back there with her.

There was no way to separate myself from either of them. Every time I tried agony enveloped me. I dug my nails into my palm, sobbing as the charred flesh split even further.

“Stop it!”

I returned to the creek, spinning around and around, the tall grass caressing my legs, the wind lifting my hair as I waited for Cyrus to come for me yet again.

“If I try to join you, will you run?” Cyrus pushed away from the tree. “You know what happens when I catch you.”

My pulse quickened. “Will you tear my pretty dress again?”

“Yes.”

“Then I have to run. This one is my favorite.” A giggle and I was running again, but not too fast. He was still new, still adjusting to the power I’d given him. He’d never catch me if I didn’t let him. Never lay a hand on me if I didn’t want him to. I let him believe he was strong and I was fragile, his ego couldn’t take the truth.

Besides, giving him control made me feel more than I ever had before.

For so long I’d been alone, even before I’d been cursed by the woman hired to care for me. My governess treated me like her little doll, and shortly after her lover had embraced her, she’d decided to turn me into a doll forever. As the poison seeped through my veins she’d stroked my hair, telling me I’d never grow old, that I’d always be perfect and beautiful.

Daddy’s guards killed her. He loved his children, even his bastard daughter. But no one could know the king’s daughter had become a monster. He’d kept me hidden away for years until Cyrus’s little spies heard rumors and threatened to expose us all if my father didn’t give me to him.

Cyrus had been cruel at first. The things he did to me were rough and dirty and I loved it all, even though I cried. I knew how much he enjoyed my tears. But inside I was so happy. He’d given me a gift, stealing me away from the dull life I’d been living.

Tonight had been different. Rather than tying me up and making me bleed, he’d taken me to the village. We killed dozens of people. Lovers, old and young. Children curled up in their beds. I could still taste their blood on my lips. The white silk of my dress had turned a beautiful shade of red.

I looked down and my throat tightened as I realized the silk I wore was still wet, slick with blood. I could feel it drying on my skin. I could see the face of every man, woman, and child I’d brutally murdered in the night.

Not me. This isn’t me.

But it felt real. I struggled against Cyrus’s hold on me. I was still in his room. My body was whole. But his grip on my mind couldn’t be broken.

Dirt scratched the open wounds on the back of my neck. Slicing. Searing. Tearing me apart.

He caught me and we both fell in the water. I screamed at the cold bite of the spring, trying to shove him off me. But then he smoothed my wet hair away from my cheeks, a strange look in his eyes as he stared down at me. He’d never looked at me like this before.

“I never realized how beautiful you are. Pretty, yes. But…” He shook his head and let out a rough laugh. “Pretty is useless. That was all I saw when I looked at you until that child climbed into your arms, trying to get away from me. She didn’t know how deadly you are. The way she screamed when you tore open her throat was heartbreaking. I almost pitied her, but I was too enthralled with the vision of you becoming all she feared. You were magnificent.”

That little girl… Tears spilled down my cheeks, the salty blood stinging as it ran over the parts of my face that still had skin on it. So many lives had been taken by them both. There had never been a time when they were good. Nothing had happened to twist them into the creatures they were now. They’d always been selfish and cruel. Killers with no remorse.

I’d lost sight of what Cyrus was for a while, stuck in each moment where my entire existence depended on him, but I’d never seen him more clearly than I did now. Even if it cost me my life, even if it put Alrik in danger, I had to finish this.

“She means it, you know.” Rosali gazed up at Cyrus, a sweet smile on her lips. “She’ll kill you, and then she’ll come for me.”

Cyrus chuckled. “Will she? I’d like to see her try. She can’t even get out of that hole.”

One second I was watching them, the next there was only darkness. I turned and something brushed against my cheek. A hiss. Tiny legs skittered down my arm. I slapped at it and my knuckles brushed sleek metal.

I flattened my hands against it. Felt the walls at either side of me. My breaths came fast and hard. Beneath me was more metal. A coffin. The coffin I’d imagined Rosali would put me in. One I couldn’t escape.

Things moving all around me.

More of them. So many I couldn’t open my mouth to scream.

“It hurts so much, Cyrus.” Rosali whimpered, the sound muffled, as though coming from above. “If I release you, will you come for me?”

“Will you keep her with you until I do?” Cyrus’s voice was low. Even further than hers.

“Yes.” Rosali purred. “And then we can keep her. Share her. You should have told me what game you were playing. I didn’t know the rules.”

“That’s because there was only one.” His breath caressed my skin and stirred the swarming, slithering mass. “It never ends.”