CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Mason
A small suitcase dropped on top of my bed with a whoof. It was all packed for Costa Rica and ready to go. My passport lay next to it along with an airline ticket and a letter to Beth.
The letter was pathetic. In it, I told her I loved her, and begged for forgiveness.
It was long, at least five pages.
I’d done at least six drafts.
But I didn’t expect her to read it.
In fact, I’d never know what happened. Because I’m leaving. After months of agony, life got to be too much. Fucking up big time isn’t my style. It’s not how I climbed to the top. The opposite in fact. I got here by doing everything right, ruthless decisions one after another.
So yeah, life has been turned upside down, and this letter was proof. It was literally ragged and tear-stained, I’d cried writing it like a heartsick adolescent boy.
Me, Mason Carlton, crying?
Pouring out my heart?
To a woman no less?
Totally unbelievable.
But it’s the truth. Beth had me wrecked, I was so fucked.
But it wasn’t her fault. It was all mine. Fuck book? That was on me. Fucking Players Club? On me. Worst mistake ever, bar none.
And she hated me now, deservedly so. The female didn’t want to see me, hadn’t so much as called or emailed in the months since our blow-up. So yeah, it’s Costa Rica for the foreseeable future. Maybe getting out of town will help clear my mind, wipe the slate clean for a little. Maybe I’ll spend the whole trip on the beach, dreaming of Beth. But that’s better than being here. This fucking apartment, with her smell everywhere. The itsy bitsy pieces of lingerie still in my drawer, reminding me of our hot play.
I’m fucked if I stay.
I have to go.
And there’s no telling when I’ll be back.
Gordon’s in charge of Carlton Corp. now. He’s the new CEO. And I couldn’t give a shit.
Because I have nothing without her.
Nothing without my sweet Beth, librarian extraordinaire.
Being CEO was so stupid compared to what had slipped through my fingers. The rough waters of Costa Rica were needed to scrub my guilt and pain away. Without Beth, all the cash and influence I had didn’t mean shit. I could make a billion more dollars, but what was I gonna do with it? Buy another plane? Another apartment? More girls? All that was fucking disgusting, bile rising in my throat.
I grabbed my wallet and checked one more time to make sure everything was set. Costa Rican currency for the taxi. My ATM card.
It was go time.
God damn. Because leaving was so hard.
Beth was still in this city, somewhere.
But she didn’t want to see me.
Fuck my life. Resolutely, I grabbed my keys, one hand already outstretched for the door.
But then it swung open by itself, hinges silent.
What? What was going on? The air in the apartment changed suddenly because she was here.
I could feel it.
It was her.
My beautiful woman.
The girl who owned my soul.
“Beth,” came my low growl, eyes devouring that sweet female form as it stepped forwards. “Beth, what are you doing?”
She looked down, biting her lip.
“Hi Mason,” were her soft words. “Long time no see.”
I growled again. A long time? Fucking eons by my book, but there was no sense in behaving like a maniac.
“Come in,” were my rough words. “Can I get you something?”
Slowly but tentatively, she made her way to the couch, perching on the white leather seat. Oh god, no one’s ever looked this good. Her breasts were bountiful, lushly displayed in a v-neck sweater. And fuck, but that ass sank heavily into the cushion, soft and huge as always.
“Water?” I managed in a strangled voice.
Her eyes meeting mine were mild, giving nothing away.
“Yes please.”
I strode to the kitchen, banging the cupboard while retrieving a glass. Fuck fuck fuck! She was here! Fuck, I better not fuck this up.
“So this is unexpected,” came my low growl. “What gives, sweetheart?”
She was tentative, biting at those rosy lips.
“Well,” she began. “I wanted to talk about that last night.”
Oh shit, the night in the woods, when we ran through Central Park. When I rescued her from Jonas, loser extraordinaire. After that incident, I shut down his business. Yeah, we were interconnected through a couple shell companies, and I put that motherfucker into bankruptcy. That’s what you get for attacking my girl. It’s lucky he wasn’t in Rikers, serving time with a bunch of burly thugs who’d make him scream.
But I didn’t say any of that.
“I apologize,” came my rough words. “What happened is because of me.”
She held up one small hand.
“It is, but I wanted to work out some details. The police did an investigation after the assault. They pulled the tapes from your boys’ club meeting. Did you know that?”
I was stunned. Shit, those meetings were taped? What the hell?
“Are you shitting me?” I asked on a low growl.
Beth nodded slowly.
“Yeah, your friends aren’t really friends. They taped everything, probably all the way back to your first meeting. But what’s important is that I saw the recording of your most recent one. I saw how you talked about me.”
My voice deserted me for a moment.
“How did I talk about you?” I rasped, heart in my throat.
She was quiet for a second too.
“Like you love me,” Beth said slowly. “You spoke about me like you were in love, and never showed the pictures we took.”
My heart pounded. Holy shit, I thought I’d never have a chance with my girl again. I was so sure that the fuck book thing completely ruined my relationship with her. But with these tapes in the mix? Maybe I’d been given a second chance.
“So now that you’ve seen the video, what next?” I asked roughly, chest tight from lack of air. “It should have been clear how I feel about you. Will you forgive me?”
Her thick hair fell around her face as she dipped her head and looked away for a moment. But taking a deep breath, those caramel eyes met mine then.
“I don’t know because what you did was really messed up. The whole fuck book thing is a messed-up concept. But,” she said, taking another deep breath, “I saw how you spoke about me on that tape, so we’ll look for a way forwards.”
And I was on my knees next to her in a second, cradling that beautiful face with big palms.
“Everything you saw on that tape is true,” I growled, overcome with emotion. I couldn’t believe my luck. My sweet girl was forgiving me for my sins, the incredible series of horrific mistakes. “I spoke like that because I love you, Beth White.”
Tears of happiness fell down her cheeks and over my fingers like cleansing rain.
“I love you too, Mason Carlton. I love you so much.”
She threw her arms around me and held on tight, then squeaked when I grabbed her closer, giggling and pressing her wet face into my neck. I laughed with her, the sound of it rolling through the living room. God, I’d just been granted a second chance at life, and the air had never been so sweet, the world so welcoming.
Because she’s my Beth. My sweet thing. The female is all mine and I was going to make it up to her for as long as I lived, for as long as she let me.
I didn’t deserve this. Not at all. But the heavens had intervened, and here she was now.
Suddenly, the brunette grew serious.
“Mason,” she warned, drawing back slightly. “I want you to know that this isn’t a get of jail free card. This doesn’t mean that suddenly, we go back to being the way it was before.”
I nodded.
“Of course not,” were my growled words. “I wouldn’t expect that, not after what happened.”
Beth was silent for a moment.
“I guess I shouldn’t have promised so much,” she said slowly. Oh shit! Was she backing out? Was my chance at redemption gone already?
But the girl must have seen the look on my face because immediately, she smiled again.
“No, not that. It’s just that we have to take it one day at a time now, okay? After all that’s happened, I can’t just jump in with my eyes closed. That’s not fair to me. It’s not fair to who I am and who I want to be.”
And immediately, I nodded, grabbing her small hands between my big ones.
“Sweetheart, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I’ll show you that I’m trustworthy. That I care. That I love you, and you’re the most important thing in the world to a poor bastard on his knees begging you for forgiveness.”
Beth softened then.
“I know,” she said, caressing my cheek with one tiny palm. “I know. But one day at a time, okay? Because the fuck book doesn’t disappear just like that. It’s an on-going process, and we need to repair the damage. We need time to rebuild and re-group, to find ourselves once more. So will you do it, Mason? Will you go to therapy with me? Will you spend quality time working on this?”
Her words rang through my soul. Because I fucked up before, but damn if I’m gonna make the same mistake twice.
“Yes, sweetheart. I’ll do anything to help you trust me again. I’ll take classes, go to Alcoholics Anonymous, whatever’s necessary. You’re my first priority.”
And Beth threw her head back then and laughed, the peals ringing through the apartment.
“Mason, you’re not an alcoholic. What do you mean, Alcoholics Anonymous?”
My grin flashed.
“Just sayin’ honey. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it. You’re my number one, and I’m going to prove it to you with everything I’ve got.”
She was still for a moment, those caramel eyes swallowing me whole.
“Thank you,” was her simple reply. “Thank you, I appreciate it.”
And with that, I gathered the brunette in my arms, pulling that curvy body close. Because I’ve been given a second chance, and who am I to squander it? After everything we’ve been through, that fucking fuck book, the lies, the misrepresentations, the assault even, I didn’t deserve this woman. I didn’t deserve another bite at the apple.
But she was here now.
Beth wanted to try again.
And I was going to make it worth her time.
Because I love this female so much … and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her close, always.