Chapter Twenty-Nine

 

Noah stood in his grandfather’s workshop, turning a piece of hickory wood over in his hand. When he was a kid, he used to spend weeks at a time here with his granddad. It was one of the only things that always set his hyperactive mind at ease. He knew that’s why his mother had sent him here. Her busy-work for him was a flimsy excuse. Not that he was complaining.

The peace this place usually instilled in him was elusive, but at least he felt a sense of belonging here. At the moment he’d take any kind of relief from his demons he could get. They were back in full force. The sense of worthlessness. The belief that he deserved all this pain and more. He knew Josh was concerned, but Megan’s visit the previous morning had caught him off guard. She’d shown up out of the blue with a bag of groceries and a six-pack of his favorite beer.

After setting the groceries on the kitchen counter, Megan had popped the top off one of the bottles and handed it to him.

“A little early for beer, don’t you think?” he’d asked as he took it from her.

“Never too early for a good beer. Besides, it’s nearly noon.” And she took out a bottle for herself too.

They ended up sitting on the back porch for about ten minutes, drinking their beers in silence.

He waited until he opened a second beer to ask, “Is this a peace offering?”

She turned the bottle in her hand, then set it on the arm of her Adirondack chair. “I screwed up, Noah. But I intend to make it right.”

He shook his head and sighed. “Don’t. Just don’t.”

“She won’t take my calls. Or Blair’s. She’s alone and miserable. Go to her.”

He lifted the bottle to his mouth and didn’t set it down until he knew he could swallow past the lump in his throat. “She left me, Megan. She believes the worst of me.”

“She was just scared, Noah. You have to know that. She’s terrified you’ll break her heart.”

“I know. All the more reason to leave her alone. I’ll just hurt her again. It’s what I do.” He took another swig then, drinking down a large gulp.

“I don’t believe that.”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. It’s done.”

“So how long are you going to stay out here?”

“I don’t know. It’s quiet. Lets me think.”

“About going back to work with Josh? Or about Libby?”

“Both.” Libby was an easy choice. He couldn’t have her, so it really wasn’t any choice at all. But the business was another matter. He couldn’t deny that he’d found a sense of accomplishment over the last few months, but he wasn’t in any shape to go back to work yet. He still needed more time to nurse his wounds. And he sure couldn’t handle going back to Kansas City, knowing Libby was there. He’d consider opening his own firm, but he would never want to be in direct competition with his brother, which left him where he was. Jobless.

“Josh and I are moving to Kansas City in a few weeks and I’d really like him to spend most of his time at home,” she said quietly. “Which means he needs someone to run Seattle. He wouldn’t be back much. The entire thing would be yours. Like it was supposed to be from the start.”

He turned to look at her.

She gave him a weak smile. “I’m not above begging. I want you to be happy, Noah, but I think working for the business does make you happy. It’s Josh’s micromanagement that drives you crazy.” She laughed and took a sip of her beer. “Yes, I know my husband very well.”

He grinned.

“So what I’m saying is, we can both get what we want. Josh will stay home with me in Kansas City with occasional trips to Seattle, and you can run the Seattle office with no interference. It’s a win/win, don’t you think?”

He sucked in a breath and blew it out. “I don’t think I can handle it.”

“Bullshit,” she said with a grin. “You handled it until Josh graduated from college. You just let him take over because you didn’t believe in yourself. But you are capable and we both know it. And I know someone else who believes in you too.”

His grin fell. “I don’t want to talk about Libby.”

“Fair enough, but tell me this: Do you love her?”

Tears filled his eyes, which pissed him off. He’d never been a crier before the last week. How did he answer that question? It was like she’d asked if he needed air to breathe, or water to survive. The answer was so obvious, yet a simple yes seemed so inadequate.

Megan stood. “Let me make you lunch.”

She made them sandwiches and helped him clean up the kitchen before she left. She pulled him into a hug after he walked her out to the car. “Don’t give up on yourself, Noah. And please don’t give up on Libby. She misses you just as much as you miss her.”

He’d spent nearly every minute after she left thinking about Libby and fighting his desire to run to her. The knowledge that he might never see her again was more than he could bear.

In addition to the stockpile of food Megan had left him, there was a bottle of champagne with a sticky note on it.

Save this for when you know it’s time to open it.

Fat chance of that.

Now here he was, a day later, still just as bereft, holding a piece of wood in his hands that begged to be shaped into something useful. It struck him that he had something in common with the block. This was how he’d been before meeting Libby—unformed. From the very beginning, she’d helped him determine what type of man he wanted to be. It might be too late for him, but he could shape the wood into something functional and beautiful.

He set the piece of hickory on his grandfather’s workshop table and examined the grain in the block. The day before he’d used the lathe to make a spindle out of a piece of pine. When he examined the piece of hickory, he could see the promise of a candlestick.

Then it hit him.

He could make the candlestick and give it to Libby as a peace offering. On the surface, it seemed lame, no contesting that, but if anyone would appreciate a handmade gift, it was Libby. And if he told her his analogy . . . maybe it would work. Besides, now he could tell her in person that he’d just gotten the results of his tests, and they had come back clean. Maybe that was reason enough to go to her.

At least it gave him the ghost of a plan.

He worked on it all afternoon and into the evening, fumbling a couple of times, but altering the shape enough to accommodate his mistakes. When he took it off the lathe, he decided it wasn’t half bad. He squared off the ends with a band saw and then sat in his grandfather’s chair. He was sanding the piece when he heard a dog bark.

He hadn’t seen or heard any dogs at the neighbor’s house, but he supposed it could be a visiting dog. He didn’t think much of it, until a large animal burst through the partially open workshop door.

He jumped in surprise and gasped. “Tortoise?”

The dog spun in circles with happiness, then put his front legs on Noah’s lap, begging for attention.

“How . . . ?” If Tortoise was here, then Libby . . .

She stood in the doorway, more beautiful than he remembered her. Her long hair was loose and wavy, skimming over the top of her breasts. She wore a green sweater paired with dark jeans that clung to her hips, and a pair of brown boots. He couldn’t believe she was there. How?

Megan.

He still sat in the chair, Tortoise excitedly licking his face. Without thinking, Noah nudged the dog down and stood.

Libby stayed perfectly still in the open door, worry in her eyes. “Noah, I’m so sor—”

He didn’t let her finish. He scooped her into his arms and kissed her hard. This had to be a dream.

When he lifted his head, tears streaked down her cheeks and fear filled his chest. “Lib, what’s wrong?”

“You still love me. I was so scared you’d hate me.” 

He shook his head in disbelief. “Oh God, Lib. I could never hate you. Never in a million years.”

“I was so wrong. I should have trusted you.”

“Shh.” He kissed her into silence, his tongue seeking hers. Her arms tightened around his neck as he lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her across the yard and in through the back door, Tortoise following on his heels. He took her to the master bedroom and set her on her feet, cupping her face in his hands. “I never thought I’d see you again, much less touch you.”

“I was miserable without you, Noah. I need you.”

“I need you too.” He pulled her sweater over her head, then paused. “I got my test results today. I’m clean.”

“So no condoms?” she asked hopefully, giving him a sly look.

“No condoms. Thank God. I don’t have any here.”

They undressed each other, then made love in a combination of passion and reverence. Afterward, he held her in his arms.

“You were right,” she whispered.

His hold on her tightened. “Those are my second three favorite words,” he teased.

She laughed. “And your first three?”

“Hearing you say I love you.” He gave her a long leisurely kiss. “But what was I right about?”

“You said I was looking for an excuse to leave you first. My dad’s words were ringing in my head, and I wasn’t thinking straight.” She looked up at him. “I saw him when I was twelve. I never told anyone.” Then she told him about the horrible visit that left her more scarred than she’d realized.

“You kept that to yourself all these years.” His voice broke. “Oh, Libby. The man was a fool. You are the most lovable person I’ve ever known.” He cupped her face and kissed her again, then smiled against her lips. “I can’t believe you came back to me.”

“Blair and Megan helped me come to my senses.”

He chuckled. “Megan worked some of her wiles on me yesterday.” Then he realized how well his sister-in-law had orchestrated their reunion. “Wait here.” He stopped in the doorway and looked back at the most beautiful woman in the world, still in disbelief that she was naked in his bed. “Are you hungry?”

“Only for you,” was her husky response.

He felt his own body respond. “I plan to keep you very busy that way, but I’m talking about actual food.”

Her teasing fell away. “I only want you, Noah.”

“I’m all yours.”

He came back a few minutes later, grinning ear to ear. “Megan must have had a lot of faith we’d work things out.” He held a tray stacked with cheese, crackers, and fruit, along with two juice cups and the bottle of champagne. “She left a note saying I’d know when to use this.”

Libby sat upright in bed, letting the sheet pool in her lap, and the sight of her bare breasts was tantalizing enough for him to want to make love to her again. “She was always the one of us who was the most prepared for anything. Don’t let her innocent face fool you. She’s a schemer.”

He gave her a wicked look. “It’s the quiet ones that always fool you.” He popped the top of the champagne and filled the juice cups, handing one to Libby.

“Look at this,” she laughed. “Someone gave us champagne and I didn’t even have to wear my wedding dress.”

Her smile faded, and guessing the reason, he cupped her cheek in his hand. “I have your dress. It’s back at my apartment. I couldn’t leave it.”

She looked down at the tray on the bed. “Thank you.”

He lifted her chin and searched her eyes. “Promise me that you’ll never leave me again. I don’t think I could survive it.”

Tears filled her eyes. “Never.”

“And I’ll never leave you. It would be like ripping out my own heart.”

They made love again, this time more playful, and he marveled how every time seemed to be better than the last. Then they lay in each other’s arms and Libby told him about her friends’ intervention and how miserable she’d been without him. He told her about his talk with Josh and the possibility of taking over the Seattle office.

“What do you want to do?” Libby asked.

“I don’t know yet.” He looked down at her. “What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to be happy. Whatever that means.”

“I have to provide for us, Libby. I want you to focus on your photography.”

“You don’t have to provide for me. We’re partners. We’ll figure it out. Together. Okay?” she asked sleepily. He realized it was after midnight in Kansas City. No wonder she was tired.

He gazed into her eyes and kissed her softly. “I made you a present.”

That got her attention. “What is it?”

“I’ll show you tomorrow.”

She propped herself up on her elbow. “You can’t tell me that and expect me to wait. I want my present now, Noah McMillan.”

He leaned over and kissed her again. “I’ll give you anything you want, Libby McMillan.”

She grinned against his lips. “You’ll regret that promise.”

“Probably.” He grinned back. “But it’s worth it.” He stood and stepped into his jeans. “I need to take poor Tortoise outside anyway. Don’t fall asleep.”

But she was dozing when he got back, her hair spilled on the pillow behind her head. He stared at her for several seconds before she roused.

“Stalker,” she murmured.

“I couldn’t help myself,” he laughed as he sat down beside her, hiding the candlestick behind his back.

“Where’s my present?”

“Am I not present enough?” he teased.

“You’re everything I need, but you promised me a present. Where is it?”

He loved this about her. Her excitement over the littlest things. She made him feel that same giddy happiness. He had no idea how he’d gotten lucky enough to have her, but he would never deny his need for her again.

He fingered the grooves of the candlestick, suddenly nervous. “I made it for you this afternoon. I was going to bring it to you as a peace offering. I’m still rusty, so keep that in mind.”

“You were going to come to me?”

“I couldn’t live without you, Lib. Even if that makes me a selfish bastard.”

She grinned. “Then I’m a selfish bastard too.” She sat up, practically bouncing with excitement. “Now back to my present. You made it? Give it to me!”

He put it into her open hands. “It’s a candlestick. Like I said, I’m rusty so it’s a little uneven on the left—”

She kissed him and pressed the candlestick into his chest in her excitement. “You made this?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s the most beautiful gift I’ve ever gotten. It’s even better than the one Blair gave me before I got on the plane, so that’s saying something.”

He wanted to ask what Blair had given her, but she distracted him with that beautiful mouth of hers. They showered each other with kisses, and he marveled that he could be so deliriously happy.

As he drifted off to sleep, her voice broke into his thoughts.

“Oh, my palm was right all along,” she murmured, half-asleep. “And I was scared I’d gotten it wrong.”

He roused awake, determined to never let her down again. “What did you see on your palm?”

“You. I was so worried it was someone else.” She looked up at him when he tensed. “I’ll explain it to you tomorrow. Just know that your candlestick is the most perfect present to chase away my last lingering doubt.”

“You still doubt us?”

She shook her head. “No. Not anymore. Just promise to love me even when the girls go south and we’re good.”

He smiled, kissing her forehead. “I promise to love you no matter what.”

It was the easiest promise he’d ever made.