We’re All Sinners

 

 

Three days later

 

“Dude, seriously, call me back. I’ll be back from Boston tomorrow. If I don’t hear from you, I will be breaking down your door.” The line goes dead as Dixon hangs up for about the ten millionth time today.

The past three days, I’ve not left the apartment because I’m afraid of what I’ll do, or what I’ll say if I do. Mary has shaken up my entire world, but this time, it’s not the good kind of chaos.

After I told Mr. Yeong to go fuck himself, I was on the first plane back home. My first instinct was to find Mary and demand she explain what the holy fuck was going on, but with a lot of thinking time to spare, I realized I needed time to process everything I’d uncovered.

The pictures Keira sent erased everything I thought I knew and left me with this gaping hole in my chest. It reiterated the reason why I don’t date, and why I never should have given in. I never gave my heart to anyone because I knew this was bound to happen. Some may call me a coward, but I was smart to avoid this current clusterfuck I’ve found myself in.

I miss Mary—I fucking need her more than I need air to breathe, but she has ruined me. She never denied lying about dinner with Gail, and that betrayal cuts me deep. How could she think I would be okay with that? And then there’s the issue of love hearts near her name.

She said there’s a reason why she lied, but how can I trust a word she says?

I hate that this distrust has rooted deep within because before this, I trusted Mary with my life. I gave her a key to my apartment for fucks sake. But maybe I got swept up in the romance? In the possibility of actually being happy?

You really are too good to be true.

Her words have rung loudly since she confessed something which I felt every moment I spent with her. I was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, but now that it has, I only realize how badly I want for things to go back to the way they were.

When I found her, tears streaming down her cheeks, running from the bathroom, I wanted to beg her to forgive me for treating her the way I did. Yes, I was angry, I still am, but I should have manned the fuck up and not been such a drama queen and listened to what she had to say.

I wanted to tell her the reason why I was so upset. It wasn’t the dinner itself, or that she told Gail about the watch. It was the fact she broke my trust. This whole dating thing is foreign to me. So maybe she had cold feet because we had gone from naught to perfection in weeks. But whatever the reason, if you don’t have trust, then you don’t have anything at all.

But I’m torn, and this is my dilemma.

Pacing my bedroom, the room which Mary has turned into my own personal sanctuary, I groan, unbelieving what a fucking idiot I am, because regardless of everything, regardless of the fact she has torn out my heart, I want to tell her that I forgive her because I…love…her. We all make mistakes, god knows I’ve made my fair share, but I want to work this out because what we have is too good to quit.

I have no idea what this says about my self-respect, because if this were any other woman, I would be drowning in faceless pussy by now, forgetting my woes. But Mary isn’t any other woman, she’s my woman, and in spite of everything, I want her back.

I thought I could stay mad at her forever, but the moment I saw her tears, saw her vulnerability, I wanted to forget everything that had happened and start afresh. We’re not saints, we’re sinners, but sinning is a lesson learned. And I’ve learned mine. I’ve learned that I should have acted like an adult and asked Mary if she’d hit her head and suffered temporary insanity before I jumped the gun.

When I caught Mary crying, a self-satisfied Keira emerged moments after, smirking a cat got the cream smile. When she saw me however, her entire demeanor changed and she asked if Mary was okay. That was so out of character for her and a voice inside of me yelled that she was masking her guilt.

She was beyond flirty in the kitchen. I was seconds away from telling her to fuck the fuck off, because even though she thought she was doing me a favor by spilling the beans, all she had done was fucking ruined my life. I know the truth is supposed to set you free, but she was completely smug about catching Mary out, like this was some game and she had won. But there was never a competition.

I’ve laid low, needing time to lick my wounds, but I can’t hide away forever.

Sighing, I brush back my snarled hair, my hand still throbbing like a bitch. Needing painkillers to dull the pain, I make my way into the kitchen and swig back two pills with a Budweiser. I’m a fucking mess, and I know the only cure is sitting inches away.

I can snatch my keys off the counter, drive my sorry ass over to Mary’s apartment, and demand she talk to me. She can call me names, because most of them are true, but she can’t deny me when I profess my love for her, and ask that we work past this, because what we have is too valuable to lose.

Mid-sip, my cell chimes. I know it’ll be Dix or Finch, as both have been blowing up my phone.

Contemplating changing my number, I reach for it in a huff, but pause when I see the text message on my screen. It’s a game changer. And it’s exactly what I need.

One clever asshole once told me…nothing is impossible. In case you’re wondering, that asshole is you.

I remember that occasion well. It was when Dix and I were on a mission to stop Maddy’s imaginary wedding. Times were simpler back then because I wasn’t the one losing my mind.

Rubbing over my chest, I can’t shake this feeling and I know I will never be able to unless I stop this pity party for one. Look at everything Dix was able to achieve by just being honest. No matter what happens, I can’t give up until I try.

Tossing back my beer, I slam the empty bottle onto the counter and fist my keys. I don’t bother changing my rumpled clothes, because all that matters is finding Mary and doing what I should have done days ago—listened.

Now that my decision is made, my feet can’t keep up with the urgency and I all but run toward the front door. Sadly, the door has the same idea as me and runs toward my face as it swings open with a force so great, I stagger backward once it smacks me in the nose.

Cradling it, I ignore the blood streaming from it because standing before me is my assailant…Mary.

Her chest is rising and falling frenetically. She looks ready for battle. But when she sees me, standing in the middle of my living room, blood coating my fingers and staining my white shirt, her eyes widen in horror.

“Oh my God! Are you okay?”

The fact she didn’t sucker punch me and asked about my wellbeing is a good sign, but my brain decides to flip me off and remind me of the picture and the fact she’s fucking my arch nemesis for fun.

“Oh yeah, totally fine,” I mutter around my hand. “Just bleeding out half my body weight. No biggie.” Now is not the time for sarcasm, but it’s the only way I can deal with this mess.

Sprinting for the bathroom with my head tilted back, I search blindly for a towel. Only when I manage to drop my toothbrush and toothpaste onto the floor and shatter my favorite cologne do I find a handtowel.

“Here, let me help you.” That sweet voice is one I’ve missed more than I thought humanly possible, and even though I’m so conflicted, I allow her to tend to my wounds.

She guides me to sit on the toilet seat as she gently removes my hand so she can press the towel to my nose. “Keep your head back,” she instructs when I attempt to look at her.

I do as she asks.

The next few minutes are filled with silence, which isn’t a bad thing, as it allows me to accept that Mary is in fact here, nursing me back to health, instead of speeding up my demise. She looks tired, the bags beneath her eyes hinting she’s had as little sleep as me.

Her hair is pulled back into a loose bun, and every freckle is exposed because her face is free of any makeup. Her usual creamy skin, buttered with pink-hued cheeks, now looks pale, translucent. It pains me beyond belief to see her this way.

“How’s it look, Doc?” I tease, needing to lighten the mood before I break down and sob like a baby.

“You’ll live,” she replies, ensuring to not meet my eyes. I’m done playing. She’s here for a reason, and I intend to find out what that is.

With a cautious touch, I gently place my hand over hers, but as expected, she recoils and jumps so far backward, I’m surprised she didn’t end up outside. The bloodied towel falls into my lap, but nosebleed or not, it’s time to get to the bottom of this.

Tossing the soiled towel into the basin, I stand, looking at the damage in the mirror. My face is caked in blood and my nose is double the size. With my sprained hand, and now swollen nose, I feel as battered externally as I do on the inside.

With nothing left to lose, I stand tall and very directly stare at her, waiting for her to meet my eyes. When she finally gathers the courage, it’s on, and I know this won’t end pretty. “Why are you here?”

She scoffs, folding her arms tightly. “For a number of reasons. First and foremost is to return this.” With frantic fingers, she reaches into her pocket and produces a key. No guessing what it opens.

“What are the other reasons?” I ask, standing my ground.

My unwavering stance doesn’t intimidate her in the slightest, but I never expected it to. “I need to take pictures of your bedroom…” Her pause incites World War Three. “But I can come back if I interrupted your gangbang!”

When she attempts to turn, I pounce, latching onto her bicep. She shakes me off so violently, I almost lose my balance. “You have some fucking nerve. I’m not the one who thought having dinner with a complete cockhead was acceptable behavior. Nor was I the one who thought fucking someone else would be okay!”

She snarls, ripping her arm from my grip. Her tiny hands beat against my chest. “For your information, I had dinner with Gail to try and save your ass!”

“Oh, that’s rich.” I snicker, shaking my head as I seize her wrists. “I’ve heard some bullshit stories in my time, most of which I’ve been the author of, but that takes the cake!”

This is spiralling rather quickly, but there is no sugar-coating what’s been done.

“It’s not bullshit. I didn’t even get to appetizers. I had half a drink and bolted out the door,” she spits, still fighting to free herself.

“Why, Mary, would you agree to go out with him in the first place? Please, explain, because I am so fucking confused!” I level her with my fury, which only seems to ignite hers.

“Because maybe if you weren’t so fucking blind when it came to Keira, you’d see that she and Gail are up to something. All I needed was proof, because accusations are just that if you don’t have evidence!”

“So you thought offering your pussy would somehow present all the proof you needed?” My jaw clenches, and the need to kill Gail reaches astronomical levels.

“I never offered him anything, you idiot! I’m not like you. I can actually stay faithful!” she screams, finally breaking free. She tugs at her hair, tears stinging her eyes.

“I have no idea why you think that. I have been faithful.”

“Enough! I’ve heard the evidence.”

I won’t stand by and accuse her of something I haven’t done.

She said she went to dinner with that asshole because she needed proof…well, I have all the proof I need.

Taking a deep breath, I reveal what I should have days ago. “A picture speaks a thousand words, and these two pictures have spoken about ten thousand words. They’ve spoken to me nonstop since I first saw them!” Yanking the cell from my pocket, I turn the screen so she can see her betrayal and how she’s fucking broken my heart.

Her chest falls intermittently, but when she sees the picture of her and Gail, and when I scroll across so she can see her digits, I’m afraid she’s stopped breathing all together.

“So, you see, you speak of proof…how much more proof do I need?” I wave the screen in her face, wishing that maybe, just maybe, there is some colossal mistake and she will make all of this go away.

“W-where did you ge-get that?” she stutters, her eyes as wide as saucers.

“Why does it matter? You needed your proof…well, here is mine. It’s fairly obvious this dinner was to celebrate the fact you fooled me, and fooled me real good.” When she cocks a brow, I’m done with her lying. “You can imagine my surprise when Mr. Yeong told me that it’s now an equal playing field because that bastard, Gail, knows all about the watch.”

This is the moment I’m expecting to see Mary crumble, because her ultimate betrayal has been revealed. But she doesn’t, and the wind gets knocked from my sails when she calmly nods. “I know, he told me.”

I recoil, curling my lip. “What do you mean, he told you? He told you because you told him.”

It’s like we’re speaking in tongues, because she shakes her head. “I did not. He already knew about it when we had dinner. That was the reason why I agreed to have dinner in the first place. I knew he was up to something, so yes, I may have flirted a little to get him to think I was interested, but I did it because I wanted to uncover what he was up to. I wanted to protect you.”

I close my eyes, my utter stupidity kicking me in the dick.

“I thought I was so clever, trying to get information, but he was two steps ahead because he knew about the watch and made it clear that he wasn’t telling me how he knew. So everything was for nothing and blew up in my face.”

“That’s not possible.” I stagger backward, winded.

“It’s the truth, Hunter. I have no idea why you’d think I’d tell him. Or why the hell I would fuck him…when I was fucking you.”

It should be music to my ears, but it highlights what I’ve done, what I’ve ruined because I was too scared of being happy. “Mr. Yeong told me that Gail said you’d told him about the watch, and that you and him were…together.” I almost gag on the admission.

Mary shakes her head slowly, not a hint of guilt showing. “Well, someone’s lying, and no guessing who that is.”

“But if you didn’t tell him, then who did?” I ask, so lost in translation, my brain is about to close shop.

The mood shifts from anger, to hurt, to confusion. Why would Gail tell Mr. Yeong what he did? And how did he know about the watch if Mary didn’t tell him?

She appears as baffled as me. There is still a small bubble of doubt that she’s lying to save her ass, and I hate that I can’t trust her completely. But this is so fucked up, like a script of some bad daytime TV show.

“Follow me.”

The urgency to her step has me following without question, because if she can explain what the hell is going on, then I’m in. I watch as she hunts through her bag, producing her cell. “Who are you…”

“Shut up,” Mary demands, cutting me off. “If only you had listened, none of this would have happened.”

“What are you talking about?” I bark, offended.

“I have a hunch,” she reveals, frantically pushing buttons on her phone. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner. I wanted proof…and it literally was in the palm of my hand this entire time. Rookie move,” she mumbles to herself.

I watch silently as she sets down her phone onto the kitchen counter, tapping at the screen and desperately scrolling through what looks like video footage. My interest is completely piqued and I stand beside her, thankful she doesn’t knee me in the balls.

It takes me a second, but when I recognize the backdrop, I cock my head to the side. “Is that my office?”

“Yes,” she blankly replies, rewinding through a blur of imagery. “There is a camera in there.” When my mouth hangs open, she adds, “Don’t worry. It’s hidden.”

“Oh, that makes me feel a whole lot better. Why are you spying on me?” I’m now insulted. The shit I do in there is not pretty.

“Please, don’t flatter yourself. Everyone has one. There are creeps out there. This is solid evidence in a court of law. And besides…” She stops her manic searching, meeting my eyes. “I thought it would give us something fun to watch when we finally christened that desk.”

A longing hits me low at the possibility of never living out that dream.

Our attention returns to the screen and when a blob comes into view, Mary pauses the image. The footage may be grainy, but there is no mistaking the blob has a face, and that face is Keira’s.

“I knew it,” she spits, quickly backtracking, until she disappears from view. Mary continues searching and stops when Keira enters my office. The date in the top corner reveals it was taken a week ago.

“What the fu…”

“Sshh…” Mary shushes me, increasing the volume on her phone.

We both watch, completely absorbed as Keira makes her way into my office. She closes the door, looking from left to right like a thief, scoping out her surroundings. When the coast is clear, she saunters forward, running her finger along my desk.

She’s stalling, and I wonder why. She reveals her true motives a moment later when she rounds my desk and opens the drawer. “What the fuck is she doing?”

Mary’s heightened breathing matches the galloping of my heart. I suddenly feel so violated when she taps her chin after her snooping came up with nothing. But that pales in comparison to when those eyes, eyes which I once thought were nothing but innocent and kind, focus on my unlocked filing cabinets—the very same ones Mary goaded me about.

She smirks, running over to them, before dropping to her knees and hunting through them madly. It takes her a while, because there is no method to my madness, but I know when she finds what she’s looking for because she mutters, “What a fucking moron,” making me feel even stupider than I already do.

This would be the time Mary delivers a well-deserved I told you so, but when the door opens, we’re both lost for words. In strolls Gail. My skin crawls, knowing he’s been inside my office. I’m expecting Keira to quickly stow away what she’s found, but I should know by now, nothing is what it seems.

Gail’s cocky saunter has Keira smirking, using my favorite chair as a barrier as he hunts her like prey. “Did you find it?” Keira holds up the file proudly.

Edging closer to the screen to see what she is in fact holding, I groan, scolding my stupidity. She’s sporting Mr. Yeong’s file, the file which has a two-page report detailing my progress on finding the fucking watch. I can regret my foolishness later because something nasty, and I don’t mean that in a good way, is about to take place.

“Yes. So now that I have it, what are you going to give me in return?”

“Don’t be a bad girl, Keira, otherwise, I’ll be forced to punish you.” Gail prowls closer and closer to her, and when he unfastens his tie and begins to unbutton his shirt, I actually throw up in my mouth.

The moment he’s topless, I’ve seen more than enough, but Mary nudges me in the ribs, demanding I see this through.

“I’ve been a very bad girl, Mr. Gail.” Keira twirls a lock of hair around her finger, while Gail snarls like a dog. I just can’t. It hurts my eyeballs.

“You know what happens to bad girls, don’t you?” Move over, Ron Jeremy, we have a new hedgehog in town.

It happens before I can turn away or render myself unconscious, but Gail pounces on Keira, kisses the living shit out of her, before bending her over my desk, where he fucks her like an epileptic slug. “Oh, god, no.” My face twists in sheer horror. “Sweet baby Jesus, why?” I’ll never look at my index roller the same way. No surprise that he’s a two-pump chump, but I’ve forever been scarred when he comes with a high-pitched squeal.

This is the ultimate fuck you—literally.

Mary mercifully turns off the video as I’m moments away from rocking in a corner. “Well…” She clears her throat. “I thought she was in this for herself, but apparently, I was wrong.”

I have no idea what that means, because that video is a clear indication that they’ve been fucking for a while. I can only hope that was the first time they used my office as a bordello.

As I’m contemplating calling a priest to exorcise my office, Mary exhales. This was an ordeal for the both of us, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she suggested counseling, but what she says next just proves that when it rains, it fucking pours down a shitstorm.

“That must be hard to watch.”

“You have no idea,” I confirm, shuddering. “It pains me to say, but I now have to burn down all your hard work because there is no fucking way I can go inside that office without a bubble suit and a gallon of bleach.”

It was meant to be a joke…well, sort of, because I do plan on ripping up the office, floor to ceiling, but Mary doesn’t look amused. “That girl certainly gets around. It’s a wonder she can get any work done. Between fucking her boss and blowing you, she sure does have her hands full. Although, I can see why she favors your cock.”

The brakes are slammed on and I jerk my head so quickly, I’m certain I’ve given myself whiplash. “What now? Who’s blowing me?”

Mary narrows her eyes, ready to kill. “There’s no need to lie. The cat’s out of the bag.” She cringes. “I really wish I used another phrase.”

I’m now the one who is far from amused. “You think Keira is blowing me?”

“I know for a fact she’s doing a lot more than that,” she counters quickly.

I’m so lost right now, I don’t think a GPS could even steer me in the right direction. Siri, help! “You’re mistaken. She was fucking me over, yes, but I never touched her.” When she rolls her eyes and pushes off the counter, I press, “It’s the god honest truth.”

“Just stop. I heard the recording.”

My brain short circuits, unable to take yet another surprise. “What recording?”

“The tape where you say…” She holds up her finger, licking her lips. “She can fuck whomever she likes. We’re not exclusive. Just having fun.” Her low voice I’m guessing is supposed to mimic mine, but why is she reciting something that was said a lifetime ago?

When I continue staring at her like she has two heads, she flies into a rage. “You can’t deny it, Hunter. I heard you. Keira played me the recording in the bathroom. She then detailed how you fucked her into a well-sated heap!”

This explains her tears and the slap which rattled my teeth.

“I’m not denying it,” I say, intruding on her need to kill. She steps forward, no doubt ready to slap me again, but I grab her wrist. “I did say that, but it was weeks ago. The night when you met Ming, Keira rounded me up and told me she’d heard you speaking to someone I now know was Maddy. She made it sound like you were ready to screw anything with a pulse. I didn’t know it was Maddy, so I assumed the worst. What you heard was me licking my wounds.”

Her mouth parts and her need to kill lessens.

“My huge ego had control of my mouth for a split second, but it appears that second was exactly what Keira needed as collateral. I didn’t even know she was recording our conversation, because no one except crazy people do that shit. I didn’t mean a word of it. I was just…hurt.” God, I sound like such a pussy.

“B-but she said you had slept together.”

“Well, she’s a fucking liar, but there’s no surprise there.” I loosen my hold, believing Mary will need time to process everything that’s just happened. I sure as shit do.

I take a moment to digest everything without giving myself indigestion.

So, it appears Keira is the root of all evil as she and Gail were in cahoots this entire time. I know without a doubt our first encounter was not accidental. She set a trap, and like a stupid rabbit, I got caught.

Her job was to get close to me, as Gail hoped I’d fall for her sweet, virginal act, which I did. But what he never anticipated was me falling in love with the woman of my dreams, foiling their plans on overthrowing my empire.

When her constant attempts to seduce me failed, they decided to up the ante and not only destroy my career, but my personal life as well. The funny thing is, they saw what I was too blind to see. They knew if they destroyed my relationship with Mary, nothing else would matter, because winning isn’t worth the effort if you don’t have anyone to share your triumphs with.

Keira was never on my side. All the times I thought she was looking out for me, both she and Gail were actually setting this plan into motion because they planted a seed…and sat back and watched it grow. We played right into their hands, but the sad part is, they didn’t destroy us…we did.

They were hoping their plan was foolproof, and for a second there, it was. How fucking stupid could I have been?

It appears Mary has done some investigating of her own. “I knew Keira was evil, but this takes it to a whole different level. When I saw her crying in Gail’s office, I thought he was reprimanding her for spilling his coffee, or not booking his favorite restaurant, but I bet he was chastising her for not trying harder. You were supposed to be easy, but then…” She seals her lips shut, averting her eyes.

I’m so tired of pretending, because this is the first time I’ve felt like I can breathe in days. Risking a finger, I slowly brush the back of my pointer down her cheek. The moment I make contact, her skin breaks out in a shiver. “But then you came along and changed my world forever,” I confess, unable to stop even if I wanted to.

“This entire thing was about power, control, and greed,” I reveal. “With my past, Gail thought it was a done deal. He was certain I’d succumb to her advances, confessing my secrets mid-orgasm. But what he never realized was that Keira was the fluffer, but you…you were the real deal.”

She lifts those eyes, the eyes which have me denouncing all I believe in and love because she is my goddess, my deity I bow to and worship. “I was?” she whispers, leaning into my touch.

“Yes, Shortcake. You were.” I hate speaking in past tense, but we both have a lot of soul-searching to do.

I have no idea where this leaves us, because until I speak to Keira and beat the truth from Gail, we’re given half the story, and to move forward, I need all the pieces to see where we went wrong.

“So you believe me?” she asks, her lower lip trembling, the sight breaking my heart all over again.

“Yes, I believe you. I never should have doubted you in the first place.”

Her shoulders sag and she looks ten pounds lighter. Now, it’s make or break. “Do you believe me?”

She has every right not to. I’m far from an angel, and given my track record, she had every right to think I meant what I said on that recording. In the past I may have, but that was before I met and fell head over heels in love with her.

I skim my fingertip over her trembling lips, unable to stop myself because I’ve craved her touch. Whatever her response, I will deal, just as long as she lets me touch her. She does, but there is something missing.

She opens her mouth, but I know what she’s going to say even before she says it. “Yes, I do, but…” One simple word can hold the weight of the world, and now is no exception.

“But what?” I gently ask, brushing my thumb over the apple of her cheek.

“Keira and Gail…they played at both our insecurities, and it worked. It’s ridiculous to think I believed Keira, but that’s the problem…I believed her. What does that say for our future? If we don’t trust one another, then we don’t have anything. This entire situation could have been avoided if only we were honest.”

Every part of me mourns because what she says is true. I don’t want it to be, but it is. It is ludicrous to think I ever believed Mary would do all that I thought she did, but the important thing is, that I did. I would rather believe a lie, than accept the truth because the truth of spending forever with one person is fucking daunting, and to a former manwhore, a self-confessed commitment-phobe, Mary is someone who scares the living shit out of me.

“I should have been honest from the very beginning. I’m so sorry.”

But she shakes her head, placing her palm over mine. “The same thing could be said about me. If I had just told you of my suspicions, we could have worked this out together. But that’s our problem.” Her lower lip trembles. “I think we’ve been single for so long, we don’t know how to co-exist without hurting each other. We’re still learning, and we’re bound to make mistakes along the way, but this is just…” She sniffs, her eyes peeled to her sneakers.

Cradling both her cheeks, I coax her to look at me because I know what comes next. “Too much?” I offer, and after a moment, she nods. I tell myself to man up. The waterworks can start later.

“I know most people would be able to get over this and move on, but I don’t think I can. You’ve got the power to ruin me, and I’m scared. Every time I’m with you, I can’t help but question…am I enough?”

“You’re more than enough, Shortcake,” I affirm, leveling her with my sincerity.

She smiles, but it’s so bittersweet. “Thank you, but I have to believe it. I just…I don’t think I’m ready.” Tears sting her eyes while I watch on, not believing that our future is ready to crash and burn. “I’m sorry for calling you a manwhore.”

“It’s okay. It’s the truth.” I sigh, wishing I could erase all the women I’ve ever slept with, because none of them matter. My past has finally come back to bite me in the ass. I lower my hands, suddenly feeling unworthy of touching her.

She surprises me when she interlaces our hands. It’s the simplest of gestures. “It may have been, but not anymore. I hope when looking back on what we had, you can say you learned as much from me as I have from you.”

“So that’s it? We’re done?” I swallow past the lump in my throat. She sniffs, but eventually she nods. “…Fuck me.”

This is so final, and although I hate it, it’s the only way for us to move on. We would be stupid to sweep this under the carpet and not learn from our mistakes. I suppose most people could move on together, but we’re not most people.

I can say with confidence that Mary is the first person that broke my heart, because I’ve finally learned how to love. Love sets you free…and I have to do the same for Mary if she doesn’t want me. Fight for her! my inner caveman screams, but I no longer want to be someone’s stand-in.

“I know it sounds petty, but I need to be in a relationship with myself before I can even contemplate being in one with somebody else. And you, Hunter”—she draws me toward her—“are something else. You take my breath away, and I’m afraid I’ll forget how to breathe on my own.”

So, it appears we’re breaking up because this all-consuming love has the ability to overthrow us both, and we’re not ready for that type of commitment because what we have…it has the possibility to be epic—a true life fairy-tale. But if we can’t trust one another, if Mary can’t look at me the same way my parents, Dix, and Maddy look at one another, then I don’t want to settle.

A small part of me feels like it’s dying, but knowing Mary will look back on what we have with nothing but fond memories makes me feel like the luckiest man alive. She gave me a chance and taught me self-sacrifice, because I would gladly lay down my happiness if it meant she lived her life with a confident smile.

This has got to be the most anti-climactic breakup—ever. I was expecting tears, maybe even a broken leg, but it appears our story isn’t filled with angst or ugly tears. Don’t get me wrong, I’m hurting, and when she walks out that door, I don’t plan on leaving the apartment for a month.

“So, what happens now?” she asks, working her luscious bottom lip.

I need to stop focusing on shit like this because if we’re going to move on, then first and foremost, we have to learn how to be friends. “We went from enemies to lovers. I think we missed a step,” I reveal, extending my hand and throwing my manhood to the wind.

Mary peers down at it, her brow arched. “You want to be friends?”

I nod. “Yes. I still want you in my life, because before things got complicated, you were my most favorite person to annoy.” She bursts out laughing, the sound music to my ears.

“Maybe we could work from there and see what happens? Friends it is, then.” She slips her delicate hand in mine, shaking with vigor and a smile. Sadly, the moment we touch, my dick is far from impressed with this truce, highlighting that although my intentions are good, I still want her more than ever, and I doubt that’ll ever change.

She reads my heightened response, and her reply is that her nipples blossom under the thin cotton of her white t-shirt. I fight with my depravity, trying to look anywhere but at her chest, but I just can’t help it. I’ve come to realize I’m an all right guy, but I never claimed to be a fucking saint.

“You better go…” I manage to push out between clenched teeth.

“Yes, I better go,” she confirms, but her hand is still locked in mine.

“Shortcake…” I warn, wrestling with my morals, because we literally agreed to being friends thirty seconds ago, and all I want to do is kiss the living shit out of her.

“Hunter, just stop talking.” She pounces on me, smashing her lips to mine and sucker punching me with her strawberry kisses. I don’t stand a chance, because this quite possibly may be the last time we lock this way, and if that is in fact true, then I’m going to enjoy every minute. Fuck the confusion and mixed signals, I can deal with that tomorrow.

She laces her hands behind my nape, standing on tippy toes to gain full access to every part of me. Our tongues duel, battling to conquer the other, but when she rubs her knee against my hard on, it’s evident that we’re both winners.

I want to be gentle, tell her that I love her, because I do, I fucking do, but she doesn’t want to hear it, and besides, words escape us both as we’re fueled by our untamed passion to consume one another whole. Reaching under her skirt, I tear off her underwear, palming her supple ass. She gasps into my mouth, but that soon turns to a moan when I slip my fingers into her ripe heat. Her pussy clenches at the intrusion, sucking me into the warm cavern. I never want to leave, but I don’t have a choice, because after tonight…who knows what the fuck is going to happen.

She only pries her lips off mine to tear the t-shirt from my body. When I’m topless, our lips re-collide, desperately clinging to the other as I lift her up and walk her toward the couch. We fall together, our kisses never ceasing as we desperately undress each other.

The moment her magnificent tits are exposed, I pull away and work her pink nipple into my mouth. She launches off the sofa, only offering me more of her milky flesh. I can’t get enough of her, so with her right breast still in my mouth, I lower my hand and thrust two fingers into her. She cries as she spreads her legs wider.

“Greedy girl,” I hum against her areola, flicking her fleshy nipple with my tongue.

She madly unfastens the button on my jeans before yanking down the fly. Her hand shoots into my pants, desperately fisting my shaft as I suckle her breast. Her pussy is wet and ready, and I so want to bury my head between her legs and eat her out for a week, but we both need the most primitive connection known to mankind, because this is what links us as one…for the last time.

Without further ado, I yank my jeans down and align our bodies, staring deeply into those mesmerizing eyes. I know I’m bareback, but the condoms are in my room, and if I don’t get lost in her body this second, I just may fucking die.

She nods, giving me silent permission to bring this home.

It’s all I need, and I sink into her, unable to mute my cries because she feels so… fucking… good. I still the moment I’m buried all the way to the hilt. My cock demands I move, but I need to absorb this memory, get lost in perfection, because I’m going to do something I’ve never done before.

With the slowest of movements, I rock my hips, lower my lips, and then, we make love.

I’ve fucked plenty, but making love, before now, I couldn’t even say the word without wanting to throw up, but as I savor every slow stroke and get lost in the sweet cadence of her lips, I’m a complete convert. Every emotion is heightened, and the feel of her small body writhing under mine is more than words can express.

Our bodies are slick, coated in perspiration as we lock eyes and get lost in one another. I don’t know what the future holds, but this right now is enough. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, a tear slipping down her cheek.

Bending forward, I lick it away, the salty sadness a reminder of everything we’ve faced. “Sshh, don’t cry. It’s okay.”

“I just wish things could be different.”

I understand what she means, because when we’re coupled this way, everything falls into place around us. But sex isn’t the Band-Aid I thought it once was. Mary and I are dynamite in the bedroom, but the sex stuff…I get it now, it will eventually fade.

The only thing that matters is growing old with someone who completes you, and until we uncover that…we will always have this— the memories. No one can take them away.

“I wouldn’t give up one second spent with you, Mary Mitts. Once in a lifetime, you meet someone who changes everything…thank you for being that person.”

More tears fall, but I don’t know whose they are. It doesn’t matter however, because I’ll never forget this feeling for as long as I live.

We move in sync, our bodies entwined, our hearts beating as one. I know she’s close, so I reach down and circle over her swollen clit. She rockets off the sofa, her hips swaying into me, pleading I give her what she wants.

I seal my lips over hers, fucking her mouth as I fuck her pussy. I’m imbedded so deep, I can feel the vibration pulsate along my cock. I suddenly pull all the way out, before slamming back into her. “Oh fuck! I can’t…I love…” she cries, before her body shudders and she comes with an earth-shattering scream. The sight of her thrashing underneath me, of what she almost said, has me pumping my hips, and I follow her lead seconds after, pulling out.

I’ve never come this hard before, and I decide to finish this once and for all. “I love you!” I roar. It’s a jumble of words, but they’re said nonetheless. Do I regret them?

When she sobs, kissing over my neck, my chin, my lips, I know the answer is hell to the fuck no. If this is what living is…then I think I just took my first breath.