THE RESULTS
The paper in my hand is different from Nanay’s but the same as Bondoc’s. The Sano and Leproso boxes are empty, and it is unstamped. I suppose that this means they are waiting for the cotton to tell them things Doctor Rodel can’t see before deciding what I am.
I know that being Touched comes from tiny specks that travel in your body. That is why Nanay and I must be careful not to drink from the same water or eat from the same spoon, in case these tiny specks go from her to me. But I didn’t know that anyone would be able to see them from swabbing my nostril. My nose tingles and I rub it, wondering how I will feel if I am Touched and can stay. How I will feel if I am Untouched, but have to go? Both possibilities crouch heavy as demons on my shoulders.
The men are still working in the field. Already I can’t remember how it looked without houses on it. It’s funny how that happens. I can’t remember how Nanay’s face looked before her nose folded, or what school was like before Sister Margaritte came. The way things are rewrites the way things were so quickly.
Nanay is fussing around inside the house when we arrive, sweeping up dust from the dirt floor and then re-sweeping it in the other direction. Capuno is watching her with an amused expression on his face.
‘Well?’
Bondoc settles down beside his brother to tell them about the government doctors and the curtains drawn around in triangles and the cotton sticks in our nostrils.
‘Where did they put the patients?’ asks Nanay. ‘Ami, did you see Rosita?’
‘No, the beds were all empty and pushed against the walls.’
‘That man probably kicked them out into the street,’ she says, meaning Mr Zamora.
‘So they took swabs?’ says Capuno. ‘What help will that be?’
‘For a microscope,’ says Bondoc. ‘My doctor said they brought one with them from Manila.’
‘What’s a microscope?’ I ask.
‘It shows you things up close,’ says Nanay. ‘It will tell the doctors if you have the tiny specks that make you Touched.’
‘I hope I do,’ says Bondoc bitterly. ‘I hope I gave them to Mr Zamora when I stood before him in church.’
‘Tsk, Bondoc,’ she says. ‘You don’t know what you are talking about.’
‘What do your papers look like?’ Capuno asks me, and I know he is changing the subject. I show him the paper and he shakes his head. ‘So now we wait.’
We wait for a very long time. A whole evening and morning sky circles over us. Bondoc and Capuno sleep by our fire and in the morning they make us breakfast. We sit inside all day so we don’t miss the knock, but soon it is evening again and the moon is in its fullest roundness outside. Nanay, Bondoc, Capuno and I are just sitting down to a meal of rice and salted fish when someone raps on the door.
‘Come in,’ says Nanay.
Doctor Tomas steps inside.
‘We were just about to eat,’ she says, getting up stiffly.
‘My apologies, Tala. I have the results for Ami. And you, Bondoc.’
‘Well?’
‘Would you rather I came back?’ He looks nervous and I know that it is not good news, but then I don’t know what news could be fully good.
‘No,’ says Bondoc who has not stood up and is glaring at Doctor Tomas. ‘Tell us what your Mr Zamora has sent you to say.’
Doctor Tomas clears his throat and passes two pieces of paper to Nanay and Capuno. ‘These are your official papers. They confirm you have Mycobacterium leprae, and must reside within the Leproso areas when they come into force.’
‘And me?’ says Bondoc.
‘You are clean,’ says Doctor Tomas, and holds out another piece of paper. Bondoc stands and snatches it from his hand.
‘You even talk like them now,’ he hisses, and Doctor Tomas drops his eyes.
‘And Ami?’ says Nanay. I can hear the quiver on her lips.
‘I’m so sorry, Tala,’ says Doctor Tomas. Nanay takes the paper from his hand and scans it. Then she starts to cry.
‘Nanay?’
She tries to speak but her whole body is shaking.
‘Sister Margaritte will come tomorrow to explain what this means.’ Doctor Tomas leaves quietly.
Bondoc takes the paper and says, ‘Oh, Tala.’
He passes it to me. Beneath my name and age, above the blue-inked stamp, is a neat cross in a box. Below the box is a single word.
Now I know which I would have preferred. It was not this.
Sano.
Nanay is worn out from crying, so she goes to bed while the rest of us tidy up. When the brothers leave, I am still fizzing with energy. I hover outside our bedroom.
‘Nanay?’ I can hear her ragged breathing, and sit beside her on the bed. Her back is to me. ‘I’m sorry,’ I say.
Her hand reaches behind her and gropes for mine. ‘Why are you apologizing? This is good news.’ Another sob grips her throat as she speaks. ‘You are well, my little girl. Healthy. This is good news.’
I can’t think of anything to say so I just sit there until her breaths slow into sleep. I’m not tired at all. My blood feels as if it is filled with little beads of heat. It will be noisy for Nanay if I stay in the house to play, so I collect the racing berries from the garden and go into the street.
My feet take me to the field where we queued. The houses grow like square bushes either side of the sewage channel. The men have all left and the only light comes from the moon and the hospital. I wonder about going to see if Rosita is there, but I don’t want any of the government doctors to see me.
Nanay will be worried if she wakes up and I’m not there. I walk part way up the new street and begin to place one of my racing berries on the threshold of each of the houses as a welcome present. I run out of berries, and begin picking more from a low shrub before I realize it is silly. They probably won’t notice the berries. Even if they do, they won’t know who they are from, because when they arrive I will be gone.
My chest aches. It is only by climbing into bed with Nanay and curling my body against the warm scoop of her back that it begins to loosen. I tuck one of the berries into her pocket, and hope that she at least will know it’s from me.