Present

 

RUN.

I couldn’t see past my tears. I couldn’t feel past my heart clawing against my chest and his blood coating my hands as I ran. I could only obey fear’s demand.

I pushed at the door, but my hands slipped on the first try. There’s so much blood. I threw my body into the door the second try. The light from the sun was an unwelcome change.

I deserved darkness.

I used my weight to push the heavy door closed, shutting in death and mayhem, as hard sobs shook my body.

I killed him.

When my legs threatened to collapse, I surrendered and slid to the ground. I’d only just closed my eyes—I wanted to let the pain consume me—but then I heard the shout.

“Princess?”

Another kind of terror seized me when I opened my eyes and found Z running toward me. When they found their brother dead, would they know it was because of me?

“Son of a bitch!” I recognized the sound of Lucas’s rage, but I didn’t get the chance to react. His strong hands closed around my upper arms and gently lifted me from the dirt. His fingers bit into my skin as he held me up, but fear of what would come next distracted me from the pain. “What happened?” Lucas demanded.

“Are you hurt?” Z questioned at the same time. He pulled me away from Lucas and held my face between his hands. His worried gaze searched mine. I wondered if he could read my guilt. “Where’s Angel, princess?”

My gaze slid away to fix on the dirt beneath us. “Inside.”

“Why is he—” He paused when his mind started piecing the answer together.

“I—” If I told them he was dead, would they see my guilt and know it was me? My eyes drifted shut as more tears began to fall, but I ripped them open again when the vision of me plunging into Angel’s knife that was inside him replayed all too vividly.

“Son of a— Is that blood?” Lucas blurted. My attention shifted to my bloodied hands at the same time as Z. Oh, God. They’d know.

They probably already knew.

“Fuck this,” I heard Lucas growl past the drumming of my heart. The cry of the metal doors as he yanked them open drowned out whatever Z was saying to me. When the warehouse doors closed again, he cursed and dropped his hands from my face to look over his shoulder.

I didn’t see them until they were already surrounding me.

“Take her and don’t let her out of your sight.”

 

* * *

 

ANGEL DIDN’T set me free. I was trapped now more than ever, and my prison was an elegantly decorated bedroom. Pacing the floor, I held Caylen in my arms as he screamed at the top of his lungs. I had no idea how much time had passed since Angel’s band of less than merry men took me from the warehouse. They’d brought me to the estate—the perfect prison.

Already, the walls were closing in on me, and this time, there was no chance of escape or Angel to save me. The estate sat alone on land that stretched for miles, and the house was a maze. I’d never make it to the front door before I was caught. I was willing to bet it was heavily guarded after Victor’s daughter, Eliana, so easily kidnapped me from Art’s home. Angel, Lucas, and Z weren’t men who needed to learn a lesson twice. I didn’t often see the men Angel used for protection, but I guess that was the point.

I gazed down at my son, whose cries had stopped. He stared back up at me with trusting eyes. The day he was born, I knew I would give my last breath to protect him. A tear slipped down my cheek at the reality that it just might come to that.

It was only a matter of time before Lucas and Z came to kill me. They had to know it was me who killed Angel. Water had washed his blood from my hands but not the feeling. I’d never stop seeing the blood.

Caylen mercifully drifted to sleep just as night fell. I had finally decided to give in to my own body’s demand for sleep when the door slowly opened. I thought I might already be dreaming until someone stepped into the shadow of the room. I quickly sat up just as the light flickered on.

My body tensed even when my head screamed to hide my guilt. Maybe they didn’t know anything. Maybe they’d never know.

“Princess?” The voice, soft and hesitant, was one I recognized.

“Z?” I quickly scrambled from the bed. If I had to fight, I needed the advantage of being on my feet. He looked completely burned out as he moved closer. The black shirt he wore was wrinkled and discolored with the stain of blood that likely belonged to Angel.

“Are you okay?” I could hear the fatigue in his voice.

I’d never be okay again. “Are you?” I questioned, instead, while managing to mask my confusion. I should have been fighting for my life. Instead, I was pulled into his arms.

“I don’t think I’m going to be okay for a long time.”

I don’t know why. Maybe it was the way he held me or the pain we shared, but I found myself crying against his chest. My tears mixed with Angel’s blood as I poured my soul onto Z’s chest.

“We should have never let him go in alone. Angel wanted us to hang back, and we just followed his orders like we always do,” he admitted bitterly. “He’s been up against worse and survived with barely a scratch.”

I didn’t speak as Z carved out pieces of my heart with his pain. For the barest of moments, I considered asking him to end my misery forever.

“I can’t believe he’s gone,” I heard myself say. It was the truth even if I had been the one to end his life. I felt his body stiffen just before his arms fell from around me. When he took a step back, I did the same. It was the frown on his face, however, that set my heart racing.

“He’s not gone, princess.”

It was my turn to frown. “What are you talking about?” My voice was steadier than it should have been.

His face relaxed. “Angel’s really fucked up, but the doctor said he’ll live. They’re keeping him sedated for a few days while he heals through the worst of the trauma.”

“H—how—” I cleared my throat to heal my broken voice. “How can that be? I—” I stopped short at the genuine confusion in Z’s gaze. Suddenly, I was more certain than ever that Z had no idea it was me who tried to kill Angel.

“What?” he urged when I continued to stare with my mouth open.

“I really thought he was dead,” I whispered instead.