Chapter 16
I can’t get to the front door fast enough. Opening it, I apologize immediately. “Mitch, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know what made me act like that.”
Mitch smiles a thin line of a smile. His eyes are red. “I rang the doorbell.” He points at the bell.
I don’t care, I’m just so happy he came back.
I don’t even invite him in, I just start blabbing. “You don’t have to do that. I’m a complete bitch. You can knock. In fact, I insist you knock. I need to learn that a knock on the door is just that. Someone coming to see me. A good thing. In your case, a wonderful thing. The best thing to happen to me in a long time. Or maybe you should just walk in. There’s no need for you to knock ever again to come into this house.”
His smile broadens. “I’ll do whatever makes you happy, babe. I just don’t want what happened this afternoon to ever happen again. If I’m doing something that upsets you, you have to tell me, OK?”
“OK. Mitch, I was wrong.”
“Yes, you were.”
I laugh, a little honest laugh. “None of this is your fault. Shane didn’t get hurt because you knocked on the door. He didn’t get hurt because we’re together—”
“He got hurt,” he interrupts, “because his parents are loudmouthed idiots who don’t know kids pick up on things. Meanness is learned at home. Bullying is learned at home.”
I rush to him and he enfolds me in his arms. He kisses my forehead and then tips my tear-stained, puffy, exhausted face up and kisses me so softly, so full of care.
“I thought you might not come back,” I croak, my voice rough from crying.
“Of course I came back. I just needed a minute. I needed to think about a few things. I’m here for you, Posey. For you and the boys. I love you. I love those boys.”
“Oh my God, I love you. How did we get so lucky to have you in our lives?”
“And Pose, I’m going with you to meet with the school and Rafe Walters’s parents tomorrow.”
“How did you know about that?”
“I just know.”
“O-OK.”
Mitch cocks his head and smirks, “Can we go inside now?”
I realize we are still lingering in the open doorway. I step back and tug him into the house by his shirt.
Mitch slides his hand down my arm and threads his fingers between mine. He brings my hand up to his lips and kisses my knuckles one by one.
“You look exhausted and I know I am. Let’s go to bed.”
We walk to my bedroom, hand in hand. Halfway there, I rest my head on his shoulder. I’m more tired than I realized.
Mitch and I quietly change into our nightclothes quietly. We slide under the covers. Mitch spoons with me.
“Good night, my Posey. I’m right here. I’m never leaving again.” The feel of his lips delivering sweet, tiny kisses on my neck and the low timbre of his voice soothe me. I sigh with relief and contentment and drift off.
***
Knock! Knock! Knock!
I sit straight up in bed.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
What now? I rub my eyes and twist to plant my feet on the floor.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
I don’t turn on any lights as I make my way down the hall. There’s just enough light to find the way with the light coming in the windows from the streetlights and the few night-lights I keep in case the boys wake up.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Whoever is at the door is going to wake everyone up. I open the front door a crack. There’s someone backed away from the door, but there’s a bright, white light behind them so I can only see the outline of his body.
“Posey,” a deep, dreamy, so-familiar-to-me voice says.
“Donnie?” But how can that be? I step forward, shielding my eyes against the light to see him more clearly.
He moves, as if on a conveyor belt or flying just above the ground, and suddenly, the face I’ve loved for so long is right in front of me. But different than I remember. Smoother, shinier, completely free of pain or anxiety.
“Posey, you are going to be OK.”
“But, how are you here?”
He doesn’t answer my question but continues, “I’m sorry I left you. I didn’t want to.”
I reach out for Donnie, but he’s just far enough away that I can’t touch him.
He smiles, the smile where his eyes crinkle, but they don’t crinkle as much now. He looks almost… angelic. “I want to touch you, too, sweetheart, but I can’t. Posey, I want you to know something. You deserve to have someone who loves you as much as I did. I think you’ve found him.”
Mitch!
Donnie kisses his fingers and blows me a kiss. “I just want you to be happy, Posey. I will always love you. Tomorrow starts a whole new life.”
I can’t stand it. I want to hold him. I walk forward with my arms out, but instead of waiting for my embrace, Donnie turns, floats down the sidewalk and fades, dissolving before my eyes and washing away like a beautiful chalk drawing in the rain.
“Don’t go,” I plead, my voice thin and tight. “Donnie!” I’m losing him again and letting him go all at once.
My heart squeezes. I close my eyes tight and consciously acknowledge that I must be dreaming. This can’t be happening.
When I open my eyes, I’m no longer standing at the front door. I’m in my bed, lying next to Mitch. Crying. Gentle tears. Happy Tears. I was dreaming. The best dream.
I turn over in bed to face him. “Mitch, Mitch, wake up!”
Yawning and blinking awake, Mitch reaches out and pulls me close. “What’s wrong, Pose. Baby? Why are you crying?”
“I saw him. Donnie. In a dream.” I tell Mitch about my dream, every second of it. “Mitch, it’s all going to be OK. I finally felt Donnie and he wants me to move on.”
“Oh, my Posey.” My new love holds me close, kisses all my tears away and breathes in rhythm with me.
“Mitch, I didn’t think I could ever feel… feel like this again. Feel completely free to love anyone but Donnie. But us?” I pull back so I can look into Mitch’s green eyes. “This is real, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it’s absolutely real.”
Even though we are both physically and emotionally drained, Mitch makes love to me. Slow, deliberate love. Full of a connection that’s so much more than physical.