Chapter 20
We spend most of the morning rolling around in bed—which is crazy, since I’m pretty sure we were up practically all night doing the same. Verit provided an earth-shattering, otherworldly fuck as requested, intoxicating bite and all.
“Ready to go to the beach?” Verit asks as I emerge from possibly the best shower of my life.
“Damn, I almost would have skipped the past dozen orgasms if it meant getting to the beach faster,” I tease, rummaging through my bag for a bikini. “Almost.”
“How about one more for the road?”
I squeal as Verit sweeps me up and tosses me on the bed, and we’re both smiling as he leans in for a kiss.
***
Oh god, the beach is glorious. The sun on my face, the sand between my toes, the salty breeze… life should never feel any less perfect than this. It’s all I can do not to close my eyes and spin with my arms outstretched like I’m in a commercial for antidepressants.
The beach isn’t exactly crowded, but we do run into a few other people as we walk along the water. A glistening male K freshly emerged from a swim, who Verit introduces to me as Juron, a male and female pair sitting in the sand who he doesn’t seem to know personally but greets cordially in a foreign language I don’t recognize, and a very blonde, very human woman who waves at us with a gentle smile as she jogs by.
We finally pause for a swim of our own, leaving kicked-off shoes and a pile of clothes on the beach and racing each other into the water. Splashing around and giggling with my K, gasping as he picks me up and kisses me deeply in the surf, I find myself thinking not for the first time, I could get used to this.
“Ari? Ariana Sandoval?”
It takes me a minute to respond to my own name, because this is the very last place on Earth I would ever expect to hear it. Verit sets me down, and I shade my eyes and peer at the shore.
“Who is that?” Verit asks pleasantly, waving at the figure. He’s truly in his element here, among his people.
“I’m not sure,” I say, starting to walk back to the shore.
“Ari?” the figure calls out again, and as I approach, the familiarity of her face suddenly falls into place. “It’s me, R—“
“Raquel!” I finish, running the rest of the way to her and meeting her in a hug.
Raquel and I met our first year of college, way back when I was still on a pre-law track. We stayed friends even after I changed my mind, although we grew apart when she went to law school on the West Coast. Last I heard, she was a badass public defender in LA, before randomly dropping off the grid a few months ago.
“Holy shit, what are you doing here?” I ask when we break apart, still completely taken aback by this surprise meeting.
“I live here,” Raquel says, beaming. Then with a giggle, she comically smacks her forehead. “Oh god, sorry. This is Maur, my cheren. Maur, this is an old friend of mine, Ari.”
Cheren? She gestures to the tall K standing just a few feet away from us, who I somehow hadn’t noticed in all the excitement. The beautiful woman brushes her long dark hair behind one ear and greets me with a silent but friendly nod.
“Are you a charl too? Is this your cheren?” she continues in that almost-bubbly manner that is so far removed from the high-strung, perpetually stressed Raquel I knew, I almost wonder if this is even the same woman. She’s gesturing at Verit, who is currently emerging from the sea behind us like a fucking Greek god.
“Um, I don’t…” I trail off, completely lost, but Verit picks up the slack.
“Ariana and I are only here for a brief visit,” he explains. “I’m sorry, I missed the introductions. I’m Verit.”
The three of them do introductions, although it turns out Verit and Maur already know each other, while I stand slightly to the side, somehow feeling even more like an outsider than I did before.
“Verit, do you mind if I steal Ari away for a quick catch-up?” Raquel asks. “We haven’t seen each other in years.”
“Of course,” Verit says, motioning to Maur. “I wouldn’t mind the chance to catch up with Maur as well.”
I barely have chance to grab my tank top off the sand before Raquel is dragging me away down the beach.
“Damn, Ari, you landed yourself a hot one,” she says in a loud stage whisper, pulling me in with a conspiratorial smile as I pull the sandy top on over my soaked bikini. I just roll my eyes in response, not sure I want to jump to that part of the conversation quite yet.
“Raquel, you look great,” I say instead, and I mean it. She’s practically glowing.
“Turns out the charl life really suits me,” she says with a beaming smile, and my world tilts a little bit to the left. It’s not like Raquel and I have been very close recently, but this new information has really pulled the floor out from beneath me. She’s the last person I ever would have expected to wind up a charl. Strong, mentally and physically. Smart, independent, iron-willed. I always seriously admired her. And now, she’s a charl, swept off to Costa Rica in secret like so many others.
If they got to a woman like her, how do I even stand a chance?
“How long have you been here?” I ask, trying to shake my spiraling thoughts.
“I guess it’s been a few months now, I’ve lost track of time a little,” she giggles, meaning she’s officially giggled more today than in all the years I knew her. “I’d been with Maur for almost a year before that, but it took me a while to work up the courage to commit to the big move. Best decision I ever made. How about you? How long have you been with Verit?”
“Um, just a couple months, I guess,” I say, as we settle onto a washed-up log just out of reach of the lapping tide, smooth as stone from saltwater and wind. “But, we’re not really together-together. It’s just a fling of sorts.”
Raquel looks at me sideways, a knowing look on her face. I’m still reconciling this carefree Raquel with the one I used to know, but she’s picked up right where we left off.
“Ari, come on,” she says, her tone teasing but her words serious. “You know that’s not true, right? Ks don’t bring flings to Lenkarda.”
“Fuck,” I say aloud, although I only meant to think it. I bury my face in my hands, groaning in frustration and a certain degree of fear. “Shit. That’s what I was afraid of, but I told myself I was just being paranoid. I told him… I fucking told him I didn’t want anything serious. I don’t want… No offense, honestly, but I really, really don’t want to become a charl. I just… It was never supposed to end like this.”
Raquel waits quietly, letting me speak, and then letting me sit in my words.
“I mean, it hasn’t ended yet,” she says finally, reaching out and gently setting a warm hand on my shoulder. “And if Verit hasn’t forced you to become his charl yet, I imagine he probably never will. Force you, I mean. He wants you to want it, too. And maybe he’s not even there yet himself, I don’t know. But he brought you here, so it’s not just a fling to him, not anymore. And I saw the way you looked at him, even just in that minute I could tell. It’s not a fling to you anymore, either. I bet it hasn’t been for a long time.”
“Raquel, I can’t fall for a K,” I choke out, my heart in my throat. “I just can’t.”
“What are you so afraid of?” Raquel asks, pulling my face from my hands, and forcing me to look her in the eyes. “Are you afraid because he’s cruel to you? Are you afraid because you think he’s not the one? Or are you afraid because you think you’re supposed to be?”
I hold her gaze for a long moment, before tearing my eyes away, overwhelmed with emotion.
“Listen, Ari, I don’t think I have to tell you that being a charl isn’t that bad, not at all. I mean, just look at me. I’ve never been happier, healthier, better, not in my whole life. And I can introduce you to a dozen other charl here who will all tell you the same. I remember all the rumors and the whispers, but that’s all they are. Humans fear what they don’t understand. But just look at me, look at me and understand.”
“Raquel, I’m so scared,” I whisper, blinking back tears. I repeat the only clear thought circling in my brain. “It wasn’t supposed to end like this.”
“And I’m telling you,” she says, standing and reaching down to help me up. “It’s not ending. This is only just beginning for you.”