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The Land of Stories--Worlds Collide by Chris Colfer (24)

Once the Otherworld was finally put back in order, the twins and their friends returned to the Land of Stories to do the same. The flames of the albino dragon burned through the fairy-tale world until every brick the Literary Army had misplaced was restored. The kings and queens reclaimed their thrones, and their kingdoms entered a much-needed period of peace and prosperity.

Alex and the Fairy Council waited until all the other kingdoms were finished before turning their attention to the Fairy Kingdom. Once the gardens were replenished, the fairies hosted a service for Rook Robins. His grieving father watched proudly as a large statue was erected in his son’s honor beside the statue of the late Fairy Godmother.

“There’s nothing in the world I could do or say to ease your pain,” Alex told Farmer Robins. “But I wanted to thank you. If you hadn’t raised such an extraordinary son, I wouldn’t be alive right now. I’ll think about him and his sacrifice every day for the rest of my life.”

“And I’ll spend the rest of my life making peace with it,” Farmer Robins said. “Rook was a stubborn boy, but he always followed his heart. And that’s more than I can say about most people.”

After the Fairy Palace was reassembled, Alex hosted a huge reception on the grand balcony to thank all the people who had helped her and Conner defeat the witches and the Literary Army. Characters from fairy tales, literature, and Conner’s writing mingled while they enjoyed drinks and hors d’oeuvres. The pirates of Starboardia told the royal families tales from the Caribbean Sea, the Merry Men flirted with the Fairy Council despite their blatant disinterest, and the Traveling Tradesman taught the Cyborg Queen how to arrange her galaxy so the planets would always be aligned in her favor.

Once everyone was settled in, Alex tapped the side of her glass to announce a toast. Seeing all the happy faces of her friends and family made her emotional before she had even said a word.

“Four years ago, a twelve-year-old bookworm and a sixth-grade class clown stumbled into this world by accident,” Alex told the crowd. “They were both in desperate need of an escape—and boy, did they get one. Year after year, my brother and I have had one adventure of a lifetime after another. However, the more I immersed myself in this world, the more I learned a tough lesson: the fairy-tale ending I spent my whole life working toward didn’t exist. But recently, someone very close to me redefined what a happily ever after actually was. As I look around the balcony, I think I finally understand what they meant.

Happily ever after isn’t a finish line, it isn’t a paradise, and it isn’t a phenomenon that makes all your dreams come true. Happily ever after is about finding happiness within yourself and holding on to it through any storm that comes your way. And nothing has helped me grasp that happiness more than having friends and family like you. Knowing I have so many people to love and support me is the most magical feeling in the world. Now I’m certain that happily ever after exists because you are the happy ending I’ve dreamed about since I was a little girl. So, to quote that bookworm when she departed this world for the first time, ‘Thank you for always being there for me, you’re the best friends I’ve ever had.’ And now, four years later, I still mean every word of it.”

The conclusion of Alex’s toast was met with passionate applause. She raised her glass to the people who gave her life joy and meaning, and they raised their glasses in return.

Soon the sun began its descent toward the horizon and the time had come for the Bailey twins to say good-bye to their friends from the worlds beyond the kingdoms. Conner laid out all his short stories and all the books of classic literature on the floor and the characters lined up behind the stories they belonged to.

“So long, my fellow explorers,” Beau Rogers said. “Don’t forget to write!”

“It’s been an unforgettable voyage,” Auburn Sally said. “I hope we cross paths again.”

“Stay super!” Bolt said. “And don’t be a stranger!”

“Good-bye, humans,” said the Cyborg Queen. “Please don’t bother us again.”

“IT’S WITH THE HEAVIEST OF HEARTS THAT WE LEAVE ALL THESE ATTRACTIVE DAMSELS BEHIND,” Robin Hood said. “FAREWELL, FAIRIES, MAY THE MEMORY OF MY HANDSOME FACE KEEP YOU WARM AT NIGHT.”

After saying good-bye, the Merry Men and all of Conner’s characters stepped through the beams of light shining out from their stories and returned to their home worlds. However, the remaining characters from classic literature had a difficult time leaving.

“Hey, Tin! Are you going back to Oz?” Conner asked him.

“Actually, I’ve decided to stay and live with Trollbella,” the Tin Woodman said. “There’s really nothing for me back in Oz now that I have a heart, and a cross-dimensional relationship sounds awfully tedious. Better to stay put where I feel the happiest.”

“Do you hear that, Butterboy?” Trollbella asked him. “That’s the sound of commitment. Take my Butter Tray’s example and the Breemonster won’t slip through your fingers as easily as I did.”

Since Bree was standing right behind him, the Troblin Queen’s comments made Conner blush so hard, he looked like a tomato. He turned around but could barely look Bree in the eye.

“Soooo,” Conner said with a nervous laugh. “That wasn’t the segue I was hoping for, but have you ever considered—”

“Sorry, Conner, I can’t be your girlfriend,” Bree said.

All the color drained from Conner’s face, and he did his best not to look disappointed.

“That’s-totally-fine-no-worries-I’m-super-okay-with-staying-friends,” he said without pausing between words.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Bree said. “I just know that as soon as I get home I’m going to be grounded for months. But once I’m free, I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

All the blood quickly rushed back into Conner’s face. “You would?” he asked. “Cool, well, I guess I’ll see you back at home, then.”

Bree kissed his cheek, then returned to the Otherworld through the Land of Stories treasury. Conner was so twitterpated, he practically floated across the balcony. He strolled right by his sister and didn’t even notice that she was having a relationship conundrum of her own.

“I can’t believe you’re making me go back to Camelot,” Arthur said. “Even after pulling the sword from the stone and founding the Knights of the Round Table?”

“You still have work to do, Arthur,” Alex said. “You would never expect me to shortcut my legacy for you, so I won’t allow you to shortcut yours for me. After you find the Holy Grail, your legend will be complete, and I’ll have no reason to keep you there.”

“Fine,” the young king said. “I’ll find the stinking Holy Grail—but only if it makes you happy. How long do you expect it’ll take me?”

“Oh, it’ll take you years,” Alex teased. “Maybe even decades. You spend your whole life searching for it in the legend.”

Arthur leaned close to Alex and kissed her passionately on the lips.

“I’ll do it in two months,” he said confidently.

Alex blushed. “I’m counting on it,” she said.

Mother Goose rolled her eyes at both sets of love-struck teenagers.

“This place reeks of more adolescent pheromones than a middle school book club,” she said. “Let’s get back to Camelot before the Capulets and the Montagues show up—I’m late for a Pilates class with the Mists of Avalon.”

The twins and their friends gave Mother Goose and Merlin good-bye hugs.

“Bye, M.G.,” Conner said. “Thanks again for saving us in the—”

“Listen, C-Dawg, I need a favor,” Mother Goose whispered while they were hugging. “Remember my vault in Monte Carlo? Well, I haven’t paid the lease in over a year. They’re going to throw my stuff out on the street if someone doesn’t clean it out. In the back corner, behind Plato’s scrolls, you’ll find a brown paper bag. Keep whatever you want, but flush the bag. Can you do that for me?”

“Um… sure?” he said. “But what’s in the—”

“You’re a good man,” she said, and patted him on the back.

Conner was equally intrigued and disturbed by the request—but that was how Mother Goose left most people she encountered. She, Merlin, and Arthur stepped through the beam of light and returned to the world of Camelot.

The only literary characters who hadn’t returned to their story were the Lost Boys from Neverland. They stared down at the book Peter Pan like it was a deep pool they didn’t want to swim in.

“Tobias, what’s wrong?” Red asked Tootles. “Don’t you want to go home?”

“Miss Red, the Lost Boys and I have something we want to ask you,” Tootles said as he nervously twiddled his thumbs. “We love living in Neverland, but now that Slightly is a baby and all, it’s a lot harder taking care of ourselves. We know you were just pretending to be our mother when you visited, but would you ever consider being our mother for real?”

Red was very touched by their request and placed a hand over her heart. She turned to Froggy with large, pleading eyes.

“What do you think, Charlie?” she asked. “I’m never having children the natural way after watching Goldie give birth to Hero—and Lord only knows what those children would look like. So why don’t we adopt the Lost Boys from Neverland? They’re already housebroken, and they make a delicious coconut daiquiri.”

The thought of being a father brought a huge smile to Froggy’s face.

“Actually, I would love it if the boys came to live with us,” he said.

“Did you hear that, boys?” Red said. “You’re now officially part of the Hood-Charming family!”

The Lost Boys cheered, but Peter Pan wanted no part of it.

“Enjoy all your rules, chores, and bedtimes!” he said. “I’m going back to Neverland.”

“But, Peter, how could you choose Neverland over being a Hood-Charming?” Curly asked him.

“Two words,” Peter said. “Tiger Lily. See you later, boys!”

The Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up flew through the beam of light and returned to his story with Tinker Bell at his side.

The impromptu adoption reminded Goldilocks of a matter she wanted to discuss with the young queen. “Red, could I have a word?” Goldilocks said. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“The answer is lather, rinse, repeat,” Red said. “Didn’t we have this discussion already?”

Goldilocks sighed. “That’s not what I was going to ask,” she said. “Look, I know we don’t always see eye-to-eye. We’ve had our share of disagreements, we often annoy each other to pieces, and we’ve each tried to kill the other at one point or another—but the truth, whether I want to admit it or not, is that you’re my best friend, Red. Would you do me the honor of being Hero’s godmother?”

Red gasped and happy tears filled her eyes. “Yes, of course I will!”

“Terrific,” Goldilocks said. “Because I just asked Porridge and she turned me down.”

Red was so moved by the request, it didn’t even bother her that Goldilocks had asked a horse first. Froggy and Jack shared a laughed as they watched the exchange between their wives.

“So what’s fatherhood like, anyway?” Froggy asked Jack. “Is it as wonderful as it seems?”

“Do you remember sailing through the clouds aboard the Granny?” Jack asked.

“How could I forget?” Froggy said, delighted to recall the fond memories. “The wind blowing across our faces, the birds soaring by our side, the sunrise peeking over the frosty mountains—it was a breathtaking experience.”

“Right,” Jack said. “Well, do you remember the part when we got shot out of the sky? Do you remember that feeling in the pit of your stomach as the ship plummeted toward the earth at hundreds of miles per hour toward a most certain death? That’s what fatherhood is like.”

Froggy gulped. “Lovely.”

While their friends were busy adopting children and having heart-to-hearts about parenthood, Alex and Conner strolled to the far end of the grand balcony for a moment by themselves.

“That was a great toast you gave earlier,” Conner said. “All that talk about happily ever after almost convinced me this was the end of our story.”

“The end of our story?” Alex asked. “That’s funny, because I was afraid this was only the beginning.”

Conner laughed. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said. “I bet right now, as we speak, there’s some big, brooding bad guy somewhere in the cosmos plotting our demise.”

“One could only assume,” Alex said. “I’m guessing the Evil Queen, the Enchantress, the Grande Armée, the Masked Man, the Literary Army, and the witches were just warm-ups compared to what’s coming.”

“Oh, they were kid stuff,” Conner said. “We can’t even fathom the level of difficulty we’ll be up against next. In fact, we’d have nightmares for weeks if we had a glimpse of what’s waiting for us in the future.”

“And we’ll most likely have to travel to galaxies far and wide to assemble what we need to stop them,” Alex said. “Which will no doubt expose us to much more of Jack’s and Goldilocks’s fearlessness, Froggy’s mindfulness, and Red’s misguidedness.”

“Sounds like fun,” Conner said. “You know, whoever our next enemy is, I already feel awfully sorry for them.”

“Me too,” Alex said. “The poor thing doesn’t stand a chance against us.”

As Alex and Conner watched the sunset over the Fairy Kingdom, they each sighed with the greatest relief of their young lives. The twins weren’t at ease because they expected the period of peace to last very long; on the contrary, they expected many new challenges in the days to come. However, for the first time, they didn’t fear what they couldn’t see.

No matter what obstacle came their way, Alex and Conner knew there was nothing they couldn’t face together. And because of that, the Bailey twins and their friends lived happily ever after in the Land of Stories.