I started writing this book when I was seventeen. Back then I was enamored of girls like Mulan, Eowyn, Xena, and Princess Mononoke. I desperately craved stories in which young women got to wield weapons or go to war or be fierce. I didn’t realize it then, but what I was looking for were girls breaking out of a cultural script that dictated who and what they could be. I was tired of the narrative that said women were inherently weaker, inherently victims. I didn’t see myself that way, nor did I see the women around me that way.
I wanted something different. So I started writing this story.
But writing the story is just the beginning. Something you don’t see when you pick up a book from the shelf is just how many people were involved in getting it onto that shelf. Though my name might be on the cover, The Last Namsara was by no means a solitary feat. These are the people who helped me make it what it is today. . . .
First and foremost: Heather Flaherty, my world brightener and fiercely optimistic agent. Thank you for fighting so hard for me and this book. I think we were waiting for you.
Kristen Pettit, my sweet and inimitable editor. I adore you. Thank you not only for making my books better, but for being so supportive of me.
The amazing team at the Bent Agency, including Jenny Bent (for making so many dreams come true), Victoria Cappello (for having endless patience with me and my pesky questions), and most especially my UK agent, Gemma Cooper, for finding my books the perfect UK home.
A big huge thank-you to the entire team at HarperTeen who helped turn this book into a beautiful reality, most especially: Renée Cafiero, Allison Brown, Martha Schwartz, Megan Gendell, Vincent Cusenza, Audrey Diestelkamp, Olivia Russo, Michelle Taormina (I can’t even count the hours I’ve spent staring adoringly at my cover), and Elizabeth Lynch (for being all-around amazing, but especially for writing jacket copy so beautiful it made me cry).
The entire team at Gollancz, but especially Gillian Redfearn and Rachel Winterbottom. I’m ridiculously excited and proud to be part of the Gollancz family.
My international coagents and foreign publishers: Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine my stories would be translated into other languages and sold in countries so far from my own. Thank you for believing in this book.
My early readers (of various drafts): Cassandra Roach, Kayli Kinnear, Shannon Thomson, Leslie Morgenson, Amber Sundy, Andrea Brame, Rachel Stark, Emily Gref, Franny Billingsley, Traci Chee, Renée Ahdieh, Chris Cabena, Joan He, Michella Domenici, Hope Cook, Merrill Wyatt, Kamerhe Lane, Heather Smith, Amy Mathers, Tomi Adeyemi, Isabel Ibañez, Kit Grant, Leila Siddiqui, and Geoff Martin. I’m probably forgetting someone. If I am, I’m so sorry!
Extraspecial thanks go to:
Franny Billingsley, for teaching me everything I know about storytelling.
Leila Siddiqui, for your honest feedback and kind help at the eleventh hour.
Art and Myrna Bauman, for letting me use the cottage whenever I need to escape the world and just write.
Leslie Morgenson, for telling me all those years ago that I am, in fact, a writer. You gave me the courage to go rogue.
Heather Smith and Nan Forler, for coffee, friendship, and general mischief-making.
My Pitch Wars cohort: I never expected to fall so hard in love with you all, but I did. It is a joy to be journeying with you.
My Pitch Wars mentors, Traci Chee and Renée Ahdieh: Thank you for dragging me out of the hole I’d dug myself into, then believing in and championing this book. Your mentorship was one of the best things to ever happen to me. Far better than book deals.
Brenda Drake: Thank you for working so tirelessly, thanklessly, and invisibly behind the scenes of Pitch Wars. You are a life changer.
Michella Domenici and Joan He, for your friendship and fangirling and willingness to drop everything when I need fresh eyes and another perspective. *squishes you both*
Isabel Ibañez, for backseat conversations from Charleston to Orlando. For devouring this book “like a starving wolf.” But most of all for your love and support. Sweet friend: you are beautiful.
Hope Cook, for always being just a text away whenever I need to a) melt into a puddle of self-pity or b) go on an angry rampage. I love you, O wise one.
Chris Cabena, for chess games and SAGA reminders and patiently listening to me ramble through all my plot snags. I cherish you more than you know.
Tomi Adeyemi, for your friendship, wisdom, and support. For talking me off ledges and bringing me back to the heart of things. But most of all for being so proud of me.
Joanna Hathaway, I don’t know how I would have survived this year without you. You make me braver than I am on my own.
Asnake Dabala, brother and dearest friend, for letting me abuse all your printing privileges. Nilimuuliza Mungu kwa ajili ya rafiki na akakuleta wewe. Thank you for always being there for me.
My entire Cesar family: I wouldn’t be who I am today without you all. Thank you especially to Nancy McLauchlin, Mary Dejonge, and Sylvia Cesar, for teaching me everything I know about love and bravery and being true to yourself; Larry Dejonge, Brian Baldoni, and Jim McLauchlin, for making my childhood one happy adventure; Pa, for carrying me to bed every night for almost a decade (we miss you); Bobbi, for making my lunches, driving me to appointments, teaching me how to braid my hair . . . you’ve always been so much more than a grandmother. Belonging to all of you is one of the greatest joys of my life. Thank you for raising me.
Jordan Dejonge, for being my coconspirator in all things growing up, but mostly: writing, adventuring, and figuring out how to be human together. I love you.
Dad, for always supporting and defending me. I’m so proud to be your daughter. Jolene, for always being proud of my art-making. Nathan and Graeme, for being two beacons of light in my life.
Mum, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Your love is a bright, fierce thing and the most precious gift I’ve ever been given.
Joe, for never thinking to doubt me. For talking me through this and everything else. For always, always bringing me back to myself. Now let’s go chase your dream, my love.
Last of all, thank you, dear reader, for making it this far. Never forget: you are not what you’ve been told you are, you are what lies within you.