Chapter 15
Two hours later, it was mission accomplished and we called it a night. We left a few packs of bedding plants to avoid raising suspicion as Gabe had advised and around five thousand tender seedlings had been secreted in numerous cold frames and greenhouses around Barnaby. Clementine had written watering instructions down for people and made promises to give advice if anything looked like it was getting too ‘leggy’. Everyone was so fired up with the drama of it all that no one had wanted to go home, so Adrian invited everyone back to the pub for a drink ‘on the house’.
I made my excuses and walked along the dark lanes through the village to the river. The lights on the other narrowboats were off, but there was a welcoming glow from inside the cabin of The Neptune.
‘There’s a real sense of community in this village,’ said Gabe, after I’d filled him in on the capers amongst the courgettes. ‘Barnaby is a lovely place to live.’
It was too breezy to sit comfortably on the little deck tonight so we were in his cosy living area instead. He handed me a mug of tea and slid a stool under my feet. It wasn’t particularly comfortable – a built-in bench-style arrangement – but I was so tired that with gentle music playing in the background, soft light from one solitary lamp and the lulling motion of the boat on the water, plus the warmth of the small space, I soon began to relax.
Noah was fast asleep and the two of us kept our voices low.
‘Everyone is talking about you, singing your praises.’ I slipped my shoes off and made myself more comfortable. ‘Clementine, Nonna, even my dad.’
‘Really?’ He sat down next to me on the sofa. ‘It’s mutual. I’ve been made to feel really welcome in a short space of time. And I want us to fit in, it’s important to me.’
‘You’ll no doubt have made quite an impact at the school gates too. A new face and a single man with a cute …’ I sipped my tea and looked at him over my mug. ‘Boy.’
‘I did feel the weight of a few stares.’ He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. ‘I hate that, to be honest, although I’m getting used to it now. It happened at Noah’s nursery too. All the curious looks and the wondering what happened to Noah’s mum.’
‘Sorry.’ I bit my lip, touching his arm lightly. He was wearing a denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up and his skin was warm. ‘I didn’t mean to make light of it. I should have thought of that and come with you. At least on Noah’s first day.’
‘That would have given them even more to speculate about.’ He grinned. ‘Anyway, it’s fine. Moving somewhere different is always going to be difficult at first. We’ll soon be old news.’
I peered at him surreptitiously as he gazed into his mug; somehow I doubted Gabe Green could ever be old news. Unless he left, which, I realized with a jolt, I didn’t want him to do.
‘You mentioned liking the freedom of boat life to Dad. Does that mean you’re not planning on staying in Barnaby for long?’
He puffed out his cheeks and didn’t answer straight away.
‘Million-dollar question. The whole narrowboat life … it has served me well for three years, but at some point I’ve got to put down roots, build us a better life on solid ground. A family life.’
His eyes held mine for a second and my heart thumped.
‘Being here has given me a taste of what I could be part of again. I want to get back on track. Rejoin the real world.’
‘Verity would applaud that.’ I grinned. ‘I should warn you that she has asked me to introduce you to all the eligible women in the village.’
He groaned. ‘All of them?’
‘Don’t worry, there aren’t many.’
‘I’m only interested in one.’
‘So you’ve been looking already?’ I raised my eyebrows, wondering who the lucky girl was.
‘It’s not just about having a girlfriend.’ He laughed softly. ‘It’s a whole lifestyle change and I need to be part of a community again. Until I moved here I thought that working as a French polisher would see me through life and I’d stay living on the boat with Noah but now …’
‘I know what you’re thinking,’ I said, sitting up straighter.
My heart leapt with pride for him; Gabe was ready to kickstart his career and it was being in Barnaby that had done it.
‘Do you?’ His grey eyes searched mine and he twisted his body towards me.
I nodded. ‘And I think you’re absolutely right.’
It must have been helping Clementine out that had reawakened his interest in law. And, of course, working as a solicitor would be demanding; he’d need a support network around him for that to work. And I didn’t mind helping out.
‘Thank you for making it easy for me.’ He exhaled. ‘Because this is a big thing.’
‘Of course it is!’ I said encouragingly. ‘I have a theory that we should be the very best version of ourselves and I think for you that means getting a proper job again.’
‘A proper job?’ He stared at me, his expression telling me that I’d got the wrong end of the stick.
‘That wasn’t what you meant?’ I stammered.
‘No, I …’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘Actually, I was working up to asking you out on a date.’
He looked so deflated that it was all I could do not to hug him.
‘Me?’
‘But I can see now that that wouldn’t work,’ he said flatly. ‘Especially as I haven’t got a proper job.’
I was mortified to have insulted him and my stomach lurched.
‘Forget I said that. Of course you’ve got a proper job,’ I said hurriedly. ‘I thought I was doing the right thing, trying to encourage you and I misunderstood you, that’s all.’
He sprang to his feet. ‘No, I did. Put it down to lack of practice. I’m really sorry. And you’re right. It is time I got my act together. Why would a girl like you …? Look, forget it.’
I stood up too, feeling awful. ‘Gabe, let me explain.’
‘No need.’ He plastered on a smile. ‘Honestly. Message received and understood.’
He pressed a kiss hastily to my cheek and ushered me to the door. ‘You must be tired. Long day. I know I am.’
He faked a yawn and stretched his arms above his head.
I stood my ground and stared at him, forcing him to make eye contact.
‘Gabe, listen.’ I tucked my hair behind my ears. ‘I’m really flattered and I do really like you but—’
I could see Gabe’s chest rising and falling with every breath, waiting for the end of my sentence and my heart went out to him. It wasn’t his fault, it was mine. He’d done nothing wrong. I was preparing to flee as usual. It was a shame because Verity loved him, all my family seemed to like him and he’d done nothing but help everyone around him since he’d been here. And on top of that, there was no denying it, Gabe Green was totally gorgeous.
He wasn’t the problem, I was.
‘It’s OK,’ he said stoically. ‘A widower plus a four-year-old boy isn’t much of a catch.’
‘No. It’s me who isn’t a catch. I know enough about you and Mimi to know how happy you were and that you’ve had your heart broken,’ I said softly. ‘But what you don’t know is I have a past too.’
An image of Callum’s stricken face flashed through my brain, his pleading with me to give him another chance, that this couldn’t be the end. I shuddered at the memory.
‘We’re in our thirties,’ Gabe shrugged. ‘Who doesn’t have a past?’
‘Not like mine.’ I shook my head sadly. ‘Verity will confirm it: as soon as someone starts to get close, I run a mile. I can’t help it. It’s the way I am. I can’t …’ I swallowed. ‘I can’t take the risk. Not again. And you deserve better, Gabe, believe me, you and Noah.’
‘What happened to you?’ he said, reaching out gently to take my hands.
His eyes bore into me as if he was searching my soul for answers and my heart thudded in case he found them.
I looked at the floor between us. ‘Don’t. Please don’t ask.’
‘OK.’ He nodded and stepped closer until I could smell his lovely smell and feel the warmth radiating from his body. I squeezed my eyes shut. God, I was so fickle and idiotic. I wanted to meet someone but it was almost as if I activated a self-destruct button as soon as a glimmer of romance came my way.
Gabe pulled me into a quick friendly hug instead.
‘Friends?’ I said, relishing the feel of his arms round me.
‘Yeah,’ he murmured, pressing the swiftest kiss into my hair. ‘Friends with benefits.’
‘Gabe!’ I gasped, pulling back to gawp at him.
‘What?’ He shrugged innocently. ‘I’m a French polisher who’s collecting a load of your furniture tomorrow. What did you think I meant?’
I was still smiling when I climbed into my bed an hour later.