I wasn’t up to going out, but Jenny was relentless and told me she wouldn’t leave me home alone and there was no way I would make her miss the best party of the year. So because she was letting me crash on her futon, but mostly because she was right that being alone probably wasn’t the best idea, I agreed. With Jenny’s nudging and most of a bottle of wine while we got ready, by the time we arrived—at a swanky downtown restaurant that had been closed for the night to accommodate the who’s who of the city’s film and television industry—I felt good, ready for anything. The afternoon with Daniel now thankfully buried under my buzz.
“Lucy, I want you to meet someone,” Jenny shouted in my ear. It was loud in the restaurant, all the voices mingling to create one giant hum. I let her drag me around for about thirty minutes while she introduced me to colleagues and friends, smiled and shook hands and asked appropriately social questions about what they were working on, nodded and turned my face into a mask of curious interest at their responses. There was an endless stream of drinks moving in and out of my hands. I was having a great night, and for a while I simply forgot. About my accident, and Daniel, and Matt. Then Jenny was beside me again, squealing and clawing at my arm and whispering about how she’d met some hotshot director who claimed to know who she was, and she had to leave me for a few minutes to go mingle. She kissed me on the cheek before practically running through the crowd to get back to this director and his entourage.
With so many drinks consumed it was time for a bathroom break, so I made my way downstairs—carefully, the high heels (I’d changed out of my flats at the last minute and into a pair of Jenny’s shoes) and alcohol and steep stairs a dangerous mix. The washroom was empty, which was surprising for the number of people at the party. I came out of the stall and clumsily readjusted my short skirt so the zipper was at the back again, and then leaned heavily against the sink ledge as I evaluated myself in the mirror. Jenny had curled my hair into big, glossy waves, my lips were still colored, thanks to a lip stain that lived up to its marketed staying power, and I looked like a girl without problems. If only I could have frozen time. The door opened, the sounds of the party seeping back in, and I turned from the mirror to see Jenny.
“You okay?” she asked, holding two drinks in her hands. Something clear, in short glasses with one giant ice cube sitting in the middle of each.
“Better than ever,” I said as I washed my hands. The water splashed over the edge of the basin and I reached for some paper towels, losing my balance in the process. “Oops!” I laughed and stood with my feet a bit farther apart to stabilize my body. Then I wiped up the excess water and took the drink Jenny handed me.
“Maybe I should have grabbed you a water, too,” Jenny said, watching me try to stand without swaying.
“No. No water.” I shook my head. “I can drink water tomorrow.” And to prove it, I downed my glass (gin and soda) in three gulps. Jenny cheered, then we tried to high-five, but it didn’t go well because we had both had too much to drink, and we giggled as we walked back upstairs, arm in arm.
I should have stopped drinking then, but I had moved past the point of no return—my ability to be rational about my level of drunkenness gone with that last gin and soda. So I happily accepted a glass of prosecco from a passing tray once we got back to the party. I turned to tell Jenny how much I appreciated her making me come out tonight, but she was no longer beside me. Standing on my tiptoes, I peered over the few heads blocking my eye line to see if Jenny was nearby when someone touched my shoulder and I turned around.
“Lucy! I thought that was you.” She smiled, and though she looked different from how she used to, I recognized her instantly.
The half-full glass of prosecco dropped from my hand, shattering near our feet. “Oh! Are you okay?” Margot asked, holding on to my upper arm with her hand and moving us away from the broken glass. I nodded dumbly, staring at her.
Still holding my arm, Margot looked around quickly and made eye contact with a server working the room. She waved her over, and we moved another few feet away as someone else brought out a small dustpan and sweeper.
“Here,” Margot said, handing me another glass of bubbling booze. Then she leaned in and hugged me deeply, and I finally found my voice.
“Margot, it’s so great t-to see you,” I stammered, my words slow and ill-formed. Pull it together, Lucy, I thought. Embarrassingly I hiccuped right then, my hand quickly coming up to cover my mouth. “Sorry about that. So, how have you been?” Racing through my mind were a million questions. About Daniel, about whether she knew what had happened between us these past few weeks, what he may have told her about me. Then it occurred to me Daniel might be here with her, and my chest clenched. My eyes darted around the nearby milling crowds, but I couldn’t see him.
“I’ve been well,” she said, smiling. She seemed not to notice how much I’d had to drink. Maybe I was hiding it better than I thought. Or maybe she was being kind. “It has been such a long time, Lucy. You look gorgeous as ever.”
“Thanks. So do you.” Daniel hadn’t been kidding when he said Margot was different now. The Margot I had known in school was beautiful, but her edges weren’t smooth—she never wore makeup or anything that could be called “dressed up” and her short, choppy bob was often pulled back with elastic headbands. But this Margot...she was stunning. Her dark hair fell to her shoulders, sleek and straight. Her makeup was flawless, as was her outfit—a black pantsuit that billowed at the top and was tight through the leg—and glossy red nails perfectly matched to the large beaded choker around her neck.
“So what brings you here?” she asked, resting a hand and those red nails again on my arm. “I didn’t realize you were in the industry.” Her smile was warm and friendly—she seemed delighted to have run into me—and then I realized she had no clue Daniel and I had been spending time together recently. Probably had no idea we had run into each other at Jake’s party, or that we’d been texting and meeting up from time to time. Then I thought back to today, Daniel and me at the Maddy, drinking beer and kissing under the awning... I swayed again but managed to keep my balance.
“Oh, I’m not,” I said, wishing I hadn’t tossed back the last gin and soda so quickly—or the three (four?) drinks that preceded it. “I’m here with Jenny.”
Margot let out a happy squeal that made me jump, and started glancing about. “Jenny’s here? I haven’t seen her in ages. Not since I styled a set for her, maybe a year ago now? I would love to say hi.”
Jenny and Margot had worked together a year ago? Jenny told me she hadn’t seen Margot in years. Years, as in multiple. The heavy truth that Jenny had lied to me about Margot settled across my shoulders, and tried to push me to the ground, though I managed to resist the desire to lie down on the sticky bar floor and close my eyes.
“You know what? I’ll tell her you’re here,” I said, though I had no intention of telling Jenny any such thing. I had a new plan: hightail it out of this party as soon as I could extricate myself from this conversation with Margot. “Listen, I need to head out. I, uh, have a big work project to attack tomorrow.”
“I get it,” Margot said, leaning in with a smile. “I’m only here to make an appearance.” She held up her glass. “Water, sadly,” she said. Then she winked and turned ever so slightly sideways, flattening the billowy part of her outfit by running her hand down her stomach. And that was when I saw it. The tiny bump of her abdomen, which could mean only one thing because Margot was too thin everywhere else for it to be anything but. “We haven’t told a lot of people yet. But it won’t be long until I can’t hide it, you know?”
I nodded, though I didn’t know at all. Margot was pregnant. Daniel was going to be a dad, and he hadn’t said anything to me about it. A ball of shock hit me square in my center, and I knew I had to leave the party immediately or things were going to go bad, quick.
“Wow! Congratulations,” I said, trying to shift my face into a look that was more delighted versus distraught. “Wow, how exciting. Daniel must be...thrilled.”
“He is. We are!” she said, a grin on her pretty face. “It was nice to see you, Lucy. I’m glad we were able to, you know, have such a nice conversation. I know it’s been a long time, but, well...” She looked uncomfortable for a moment, glanced at her glass of water before looking back up at me and taking a deep breath. “Anyway, I’m glad we ran into one another.”
My mind whirred, but I couldn’t hang on to a single thought. Then Margot leaned in and hugged me tightly. “Please say hi to Jenny for me if I don’t see her later.”
“I will,” I said, smiling as best I could, the gin perilously close to the back of my throat. “Okay, well, I should get out of here while I can.” I took a step back from her so she couldn’t hug me again. “Great to see you, too, Margot.”
“Same. Good luck with your project tomorrow.”
“Thanks,” I said, already half-turned away from her. “Bye.” I waved one last time before pushing my way frantically through the tightly knit crowd, beelining for the front door and praying I got out of there before I decorated the party with all those drinks. I made it outside and around the corner of the restaurant’s building before I threw up, my hand clutching the brick for stability as the heaves moved through me and my stomach emptied. Then I wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my blouse, shivered violently as I realized my coat was still inside—no way was I going back in there—before stumbling into the first taxi I could find.