Chapter Thirty
Roni would have preferred to clear her mind, to drift within the safety of the world Taber was trying to build around her. At least, she had thought that was what she preferred, until hours later, after the demands of their bodies had been met and sanity began to return. It was then she knew it was time to face her own life.
She was only twenty-two to Taber’s thirty. But even more than the eight years’ difference in their ages, there was a whole world of experience as well. He had lived with fear, unspeakable cruelty and death, even before he had become a man.
He had known the evil that filled the minds of the Council, the men who created him, who trained him. He had been decades older than she, even when he was a teenager.
Roni knew her own experiences while growing up didn’t even come close to the pain he had known. She was a baby in comparison. But she was also his mate. She wanted to be more. She wanted to be strong enough to stand by his side, strong enough to fight with him. She couldn’t do that if she allowed either of them to hide from the truth.
She would let him protect her to an extent, but after that, she needed to stand beside him, to ease the man who fought for supremacy over his DNA. The man who needed to love, to find at least a safe haven for his soul.
He hadn’t told her he loved her, but she would deal with that later. One step at a time, she thought. One growth at a time. She would get there eventually, but first things first.
“Cats have barbs,” Roni said lazily, her fingers playing gently through the long, silken strands of his hair.
He had been purring. It amazed her. He had tried to stop, had even laughed at himself earlier because he couldn’t, though she had seen the worry in his eyes that it would disgust her. Quite the opposite. She now knew how to tell if her lover was pleased, happy, content. Destroying that contentment for even a moment was something she hated to do. But it was something they needed to clear up.
He tensed in her arms. His head still lay against her chest, but rather than the sated relaxation that had filled him, a watchful tension now moved over his body. The soft vibration in his chest had stopped, though her fingers had never ceased the slow caress through his hair.
“Yeah, they do.” His hold tightened only marginally.
“People think because I’m young, I’m completely dumb.” She laughed softly at this. “Even before you marked me, you always handled me with kid gloves, never doing or saying anything that you thought would upset me. Letting me face life isn’t going to break me.”
“It was never because I thought you were dumb, Roni.” He sighed as he moved from her arms, sitting up so he could stare down at her thoughtfully. “I wanted to protect you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
And she realized how true that was. She had known it when she had been only a child, and she saw it now. A part of him had to protect her, otherwise, he would never be content, never be secure.
“I don’t want to be protected from everything, Taber.” She turned on her side, moving into the embrace he created by opening his arms and pulling her close.
Her head lay against his chest now as he breathed out roughly. She could feel the protest building in him and knew he would always try to protect not just her body, but her emotions as well. She didn’t want to be protected from growth.
“I don’t want you hurt,” he whispered against her hair. “Not in any way, Roni. It makes me crazy, thinking of it. It always has. The world can be dark, baby. Scary as hell. I never wanted you to see how bad it could be.”
The dark magic of his voice couldn’t hide the bitter memories running through it.
“That won’t work, Taber. How can I be anything to you if I can’t understand the life you’ve lived? Do you think I don’t know some of the evil out there? For God’s sake, how many times did you have to come rescue me from Reginald’s enemies, from men who called and told a teenager how many different ways they were going to fuck her in exchange for her father’s betrayal?”
She had never told him the full extent of the terror that had her running to him through the years. The true measure of the fears she had faced. She had known he would confront Reginald, and she had been terrified of the consequences. How could she have lived if he was harmed because of her?
His arms flexed, bunched in anger.
“I would have killed him if I had known, Roni. I may kill him yet,” he swore.
“You’re better than he is,” she sighed. “And he’s not worth the complications. He’s not worth the stain on your soul.” She rose up, staring him in the eye. “I know what you are, Taber. I know what happens when you come inside me. You don’t have to hide me from life. All I need is to know you’ll be beside me.”
“I always have been.” He shook his head in confusion. “Why would I leave now, Roni? You’re mine. I told you that.”
She rolled her eyes impatiently. “Taber, I don’t belong to you . . . ”
“The hell you don’t.” Stubborn male arrogance lit every word. “I warned you before, baby, and I’m telling you now. Once I had you, it was too late to re-think the issue. I won’t play games with you. I won’t lie to you. And I’ll sure as hell never let you leave me.”
“Good thing I’m content to stay. For now,” she muttered as she plopped back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with a frown. “Must be the animal coming out in you. Though I never knew cats to be possessive. You’re going against type, Taber.”
He grunted mockingly as he stared down at her, a brow lifting with an expression of superiority. “Really?” he drawled, his voice deepening. “Says who?”
“Wild Kingdom,” she snapped without heat.
“Wild Kingdom needs to research a bit more.” He laughed as he settled down in the bed beside her, drawing her close to the warmth of his body as he pulled the sheet over them.
“I don’t know.” She yawned. “They seemed pretty sure of it. You sure you can’t mate anyone else?” That one worried her, more than she wanted to admit. She would hate to have to kill him after getting used to this crazy situation he had thrown her in.
“Don’t know. And I sure as hell don’t intend to find out,” he grumped. “Mating you is about to kill me. I doubt I’ll be able to walk straight when I get up in the morning. Which isn’t far off. Go to sleep.” He reached over, extinguishing the light on the small table by the bed.
Silence filled the room. Weariness dragged at her body.
“You should make him leave, Taber.” She voiced the fear about Reginald that she couldn’t seem to rid herself of. “He’s dangerous.”
Once again silence stretched between them for long moments.
“We’ll watch him, Roni,” he promised her. “Remember. Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Reginald will show his hand eventually. When he does, one of us will be there to stop him.”
She sighed wearily. She couldn’t push the suspicion of her mother’s death from her mind. Someone had killed her. She had driven the mountainous roads in all conditions. She would have never gone over that cliff on a perfect summer day.
“I’ll protect you, Roni.” His confidence washed over her like a comforting wave of warmth.
“I don’t doubt that, Taber,” she sighed. “It’s not my safety I worry about. It’s yours.”
“Go to sleep, baby.” He tucked her closer, his arms, strong and warm, sheltering her. “Tomorrow is soon enough to deal with it.”
She closed her eyes, her hand moving from the bed to her abdomen. She could feel the change in her body. The desperate heat was cooling, leaving only a more natural desire now. A comforting warmth. Would it happen so soon, she wondered?
“Sleep.” His hand covered hers. “Tomorrow is soon enough.”