Lily

Have you gone insane?

I ignored the screaming of my inner voice and rubbed Jack Williams’ chest again.  His mouth was wide open, and I could see the surprise in his dark brown eyes.  I had a moment of satisfaction that I could shock him so badly, but it faded quickly and was replaced with anxiety.

If he didn’t accept this as a payment for my shitty car, I was well and truly fucked.  I mean, not that I knew what well and truly fucked was, but I imagined it was a lot like having a negative balance in your bank account and a car that you desperately needed, being held hostage by a hotter-than-hell mechanic.

I licked my lips seductively, at least I hoped it was seductively, and leaned a little closer to Jack.  I’d done a lot of shameful things since my father had gone to prison and my mother had abandoned me, but this topped the cake. 

Even as I was offering to blow my mechanic for car repairs, I could hear the sound of hitting rock bottom.  Hell, it practically reverberated in my ears.  Jack Williams might be the hottest man I’d ever seen, and yeah, maybe giving him a blow job wouldn’t be the worst experience in the world, but I was still whoring myself out.

If you don’t do this, you really will have to turn to prostitution.

My usual inner voice had been replaced by someone else.  Someone cold and fearless who knew just how much trouble I was in.  I had a feeling that this new voice was the true me, the one who put survival above everything else and would do whatever she needed to stay alive.

You have no money and you need that car to get to work.  If you lose your job, you’ll lose the roof over your head and the pitiful amount of food you can still afford to buy.  You’re lucky that Dale hired you at his bar.  You suck as a waitress.  It’s only because half the town comes in on the regular to laugh at the former little rich girl, that keeps Dale from firing you.  You lose this job, you won’t find another and what will you do then?  Your friends are gone, your mother couldn’t give a shit about you, and you don’t even have enough money to leave this shitty little town.

I dropped my hand to Jack’s flat abdomen.  Holy shit, I could feel his abs through his t-shirt.  His low groan made my pussy go wet for him.  I tried to hide my surprise and almost succeeded.  I didn’t get wet this easily.  According to my first and only lover, Isaac, I barely got wet at all.  In fact, according to Isaac, I was the worst fucking lay in the world.  My oral skills weren’t that better apparently, but desperate times, right?  I might be terrible in bed, but I knew when a man wanted me.  

Jack Williams wanted me. 

He’d wanted me in high school and secretly, just like every other girl at school, I’d wanted him too. 

He was a big guy even then.  Big and quiet, with an air of danger about him that was stupidly appealing.  I wasn’t the only girl who was affected by it.  He’d had his share of girlfriends in high school and after.  While I was dating Isaac, he was having fun with a large portion of the female population in our town.  Not that I could blame them.  If I hadn’t been so afraid of what my father would say, I probably would have parted my legs for him too. 

My nostrils flared as I took in a breath of him.  He smelled like oil and grease and good clean sweat.  It was a combination that probably shouldn’t have been sexy but was.  His dark hair was cut short, and standing this close to him, his height seemed even bigger than the 6’2” he was.  His jaw was covered in dark stubble and I was suddenly itching to press my lips against the slight dent in his chin.  Everything about him screamed ‘male’. 

He'd been working in his father’s car shop since he was a teenager.  His hands were rough, dirty, permanently stained by oil and grease.  I knew I wasn’t the only woman in town who had fantasized about having those dirty, stained hands all over her body.  I doubted that he could make me come, my sexual hang-ups were so deeply ingrained that even I didn’t have a clue why I had them, but I still wouldn’t have minded being touched by him.  Maybe even letting him fuck me.  Under different circumstances, of course.

Enough!  It’s great that you find him sexy, it’ll make blowing him easier.  Stop thinking about touching him and do it, you idiot.  You need to be at work in half an hour.

“What do you say, Mr. Williams?”  I tried to sound sexy and failed miserably.  “Do we have a deal?”

He stared at me and I palmed his dick through his jeans.  He groaned again before his hand shot down and grabbed mine.  He yanked it away from his dick and tightened his hold when I tried to pull my hand free.

“You think your cock-sucking skills are worth seven hundred bucks?”  He asked crudely.

I blushed bright red before nodding.  “Yes.”

“That isn’t what I heard.  You’re the Ice Queen for a reason, aren’t you?”

My blush deepened, and shame flooded through me.  I hated that nickname.  Up until four months ago, I hadn’t even realized why the whole damn town had started calling me the Ice Queen.  Finding out that Isaac had shared every dirty detail of our lovemaking had almost been enough to make me leave. 

Who was I kidding?  I would have left, if I’d had the money.

“I’m good at it,” I said lamely.  “Just let me show you.”

“I don’t think a blow job from the Ice Queen is enough to cover the debt.”

“It will be.  I’m good at it, I swear.”  I could hear the desperation in my voice. 

The small part of me that thought maybe the mechanic would refuse sexual favours in return for car repairs died when he said, “What if I want something else instead of a blow job?”

“I’m not having sex with you.”

It was stupid, but I could live with the knowledge that I blew a man for car repairs, but not that I fucked him for it.  Why blowing him didn’t make me a full-out prostitute in my mind, I didn’t know, but now was not the time to dwell on it.

Oddly enough, it didn’t even bug me that he was negotiating for sexual favours.  Maybe because I was the one offering them and couldn’t exactly be judgmental.  I’d spent most of my life judging people and now, for the last three years, I was the one being judged. 

I deserved it though.  Karma was a bitch, right?

“I don’t want to fuck you,” Jack said.

My stupid and inappropriate feeling of hurt disappeared under a wave of shock when he said, “I want to watch you cum all over my fingers.”