Chapter 9
A whole bottle of champagne landed on the bed. Thankfully, it was unopened, but Nala felt compelled to jump off the bed anyway.
“It’s a good thing we… good thing we didn’t drink anymore…” Robin sat in Nala’s place, holding out her arms as if she couldn’t protect her balance any other way. Lucian wasn’t far behind her, flopping down near the pillows and jostling the whole damn thing. “Because I want this to be awesome.”
Nala stood near the wall, keeping her satchel close to her chest. “What are you guys doing here?” That was all Nala, not Nightingale – because Nightingale knew damn well what “group fun” meant. They want to have group sex. I can’t believe this. No wait, yes I can believe it. That sort of kinky shit was right up Lucian and Robin’s perverted alley.
“This bed is way more comfortable than the one we got,” Lucian revealed. “That one is all squeaky. This one is nice and sturdy.” He patted it to reiterate his point. “You’re a lucky guy, Lane.” Lucian’s attempt to put his hand on Vincent’s shoulder ended with him landing on his stomach in the middle of the bed. I can smell the alcohol over here. How plastered are they? Robin she could see being a lightweight. Lucian, on the other hand, either set a record for a guy his size or had nearly drank Crow out of his home.
“Hi.” Robin attempted to climb in Vincent’s lap, but was met with a firm hand against the shoulders. “Wow, you smell good, Master Vincent. Doesn’t… doesn’t he smell good, Lucian?”
“Like roses.”
Nala briefly met Vincent’s eyes from across the room. “Don’t you dare,” Vincent’s said. “Don’t you dare leave me with these crazy people.”
“Um, I gotta go to the bathroom first,” Nala announced, shuffling toward the door. “Little girl business. You three go ahead and get started!”
She ducked out of the room before Vincent could otherwise forbid her.
Uh oh. Nala stood in the hallway, alone, looking back and forth for anyone who might be watching her in turn. Yet not even the butler was there, although she did hear the occasional voice of a reveler somewhere in the hall. Luckily, none of them were Hawk or Crow.
Vincent had told her that the office was a few doors down. Well, she still had her satchel and the pin in her possession. There was no reason for her to not make a go of it, assuming she could find the office.
Look for a room closed all the way and with a normal looking lock. If pressed, she could say she was looking for the bathroom around there. Nala started to shuffle, trying to be quiet, but also convinced that the echo of her heartbeat could be heard from Timbuktu.
She looked all around, stopping whenever she heard a loud voice pounding through the hall. With so many doors ajar, it wasn’t hard to hear someone get spanked or someone else cry out in pleasure. She was pretty sure, as she passed one such bedroom, that she witnessed Quail being stripped of her clothes – again – and pulled upside down onto the nearest bed. Someone was about to get very lucky.
Nala shot her eyes away and continued her search. She was reaching the end of the hall. Had she gone the wrong way and Vincent meant the other direction?
As she thought that, she came upon the final door before another one marked RESTROOM on a gold plaque. No wonder Vincent had been able to find the office so easily. As Nala searched, she realized that it was the only unmarked door closed all the way. It also had a key-lock that was prime for picking.
Nala forced herself against the hall wall. She looked behind her again, making sure the coast was clear before jamming her hair pin into the lock and jostling it about.
What the fuck was she doing? She had no idea how to break a lock! All she knew came from the movies. Spies were able to put in hairpins, fingernails, pretty much anything and break into a room with nary a sweat broken in turn. Except this was Nala. This was real life. She couldn’t jam a hairpin into a key lock, let alone the lock to a billionaire’s primary office, and…
Something clicked. Nala turned the handle and watched the door miraculously open, admitting her without a second thought. Oh, shit!
She looked around again, convinced that at any moment the police would come storming down the hall and arrest her for breaking and entering. That was the kind of kinky shit she really wasn’t into. She also doubted that Vincent liked the gruff handcuffs as opposed to his silky ropes.
When she was sure that nobody had seen her, Nala stepped in, keeping to the wall. The lights were off, which was good for cloaking her – although any security cameras were probably night vision. Regardless, Nala stayed close to the wall, pulling out her cell phone and using it as a light to see her way around the office.
It wasn’t that big. In fact, it was almost sparser than Vincent’s downtown office. This doesn’t look right… Had Vincent gotten it wrong and this wasn’t Crow’s main office at all? Nala thought it was suspicious that such a place was so close to the happenings of a party. Wouldn’t he keep that far out of the way from where anyone may be snooping around? Like her, for one.
What am I doing? Her cell phone and the light coming through the window picked up few things, mostly furniture and decorations on the wall. Still life paintings. Race dog photos. Old pictures from Crow’s childhood and before even that.
Nala was about to turn and rummage through the desk when she came upon a series of recent photographs that piqued her interest. Mostly because the first photo was of Robin and Lucian, embracing as they smiled for a more candid than not photo. Since Robin was wearing a glittery red mask, Nala had to assume that it was taken at an Aviary party. Perhaps one hosted here in Crow’s house.
There were others. Every couple, including one of Maggie and Jay looking more stoic than usual, hung on the wall wearing sexy outfits and the masks of The Aviary. Little printouts beneath each photo held their names. Not the women’s real names, of course, but their code names as plain as day.
What intrigued Nala the most, however, were the older photos of couples no longer in the club. There were only three of them. One, called “Lewis and Bluejay,” featured a man with tan skin and an Asian woman vying for Maggie’s stoic title. Another, of two red-heads, was called “Othello and Sparrow.” The last photo was missing, but the tag remained, too ominous to bear.
“Xavier and Raven.”
Whoever Raven was, it certainly wasn’t Hawk, and she must have once been Crow’s partner in the Aviary, perhaps when he founded it over a year ago. Nala hurried to punch these names into her notes before moving on. There was one last space on the wall for a new couple. No doubt Crow would soon be asking for Vincent and Nala’s photo to hang on his wall of deviants.
Nala moved away from the wall, focusing on the desk behind her. It was all but empty, with only a leather office chair and a comfortable pad for writing longhand on. An ink well was filled, and plenty of pens stuffed together into a simple box. There wasn’t even a computer to snoop on. Nala put on her gloves, however, and started opening any drawer that didn’t have a pesky combination lock on it.
Most of them were empty, aside from some candies and extra legal pads that had hardly any scribbles on them. Nala grumbled, dropping her satchel and hurrying to pick it back up again.
She was about to give up and get out of there when she found a few printout papers in the bottom drawer. At first they weren’t anything out of the ordinary – a few business receipts from a week ago that Crow probably had yet to file with his other receipts. Nala wished there was something incriminatory, but the best she found toward the top was one receipt for chauffeur services around downtown Portland.
Dinner receipts. Tech receipts. Even his phone receipt. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Not until Nala unearthed one piece of paper that had two familiar names on it.
RE: Othello and Sparrow.
Funds transfer status is confirmed. $5,000,000 has been cleared from primary account ending in x679 and deposited into account ending in x4535. Awaiting further orders. Please advise. New target location: Hamburg, Germany.
RE: RE: Othello and Sparrow.
Hold off for now. Hopefully they will keep quiet. We don’t need an unnecessary mess. Keep an eye on their private activities for the next two years and report anything that may be defamatory to BRP.
Nala didn’t understand any of this, but it sounded shady as fuck, so she snapped a picture with her phone and hurried to close the door.
Now she had to get out and hope nobody could see her coming out of the office. She pressed her ear to the door, listening for footsteps or voices in the hall. When she was fairly confident that everything was clear, Nala slowly opened the door and stared into the bright lights of the hallway.
When she didn’t see anyone, she opened the door wide enough to let her slip through and was sure to close it behind her. She kept close to the wall until she was near Quail and Sebastian’s room again.
“Fuck me, sweetheart, you have the best pussy in Portland.”
Nala hurried past their door and veered into the middle of the hall…
…And right into Xavier Crow as he emerged from her and Vincent’s room.
“Nightingale!” he greeted, almost relieved. “I was asking Vincent where you were, since I noticed he was all alone in there.”
Nala’s heart beat so furiously that she worried it would pop out of her chest. “I, uh, was in the bathroom.” She pointed behind her.
“That’s what Vincent said. Hope everything is fine.”
“Yeah. Things are fine.”
He continued to stare at her, as if attempting to peer into her soul and read the lies painted upon it. I haven’t done anything, I swear! That was the message she broadcasted from her brain, hoping someone as business shrewd as Xavier could pick up on it.
“Do take care, dear Nightingale. Please excuse me. I must tend to something.”
She let him pass, bowing her head so she wouldn’t have to look at him. Don’t go in your office. Don’t go in… Sure enough, Crow pulled a key out of his pants and opened the office door before going inside.
Nala hurried ass into her assigned bedroom, relieved to find Vincent alone. Bedraggled, but alone.
“Well?” he snapped. “Did you get anything? Because things have been peachy in here.”
Nala slowly sat down on the edge of the bed, her eyes never leaving his tested countenance. I probably should not find that hot. Nala shouldn’t find a lot of things hot, and yet here she was, already thinking about what she heard Sebastian tell Quail two minutes ago. Would Vincent ever say something like that to me? Nala didn’t know if she wanted to hear it or not.
“You go first. What happened with Robin and Lucian?”
“Oh, that. After they both – yes, both – tried to rope me into a threesome for you to return to, I managed to fend them off and said that you and I hadn’t really discussed such things yet. They told me to have the chat with you right now so they would know if we would be game next time. Then I think they went back to their room to screw around.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, Nala, oh. Because then none other than Xavier Crow peeked in to try and watch us in the act. Did not end well for him because I was all alone, trying to regather my bearings after what had happened. I told him that you were in the bathroom. So?”
“Yeah, I ran into him out there. I told him the same thing.”
“Good. And?”
“And…” Nala sighed. “I didn’t really find anything. That can’t be his real office. It was super empty, aside from some pictures and receipts. Before you can ask, no, I’m not sure I found anything, but I wrote some things down and took pictures anyway. I’ll show them to you later.”
“Fuck.”
“Right?”
They leaned against one another, Vincent still stewing in whatever bothered him. Nala didn’t feel much better. She wanted to take her toys and go home. Between being in Crow’s house, watching that horrendous display of “spanking,” being harassed by people she considered friends, and rummaging through Crow’s office… Nala was over it. Over everything.
Vincent put a reassuring arm around her, allowing Nala to embrace him from the side. She buried her nose in his chest, feeling “safe” for the first time all night. How crazy is it that this guy I still barely know is my only real friend? The only guy I can trust? He stroked her skin, pulling back more of her hair so he could touch the spot behind her ear. Sighing again, Nala sat up and intercepted his lips for that kiss they were denied what seemed forever ago.
She thought it would be an almost loving kiss. That was all she could bear in the moment, anyway. Let me feel safe again. And again. And again.
Instead, she felt his tongue punch into her mouth, devouring her throat as his hands grabbed the back of her head and drew her in closer.
“Mmf!” Nala could have choked on him! When she finally pushed him away, it was with a gasp, her hands splayed in front of her as she stared at him in disbelief. That was the first time he was that aggressive! “Let a girl breathe, huh?”
She thought he would apologize. He usually did, unless… oh, no, he was in irate Dom mode, or whatever the fuck this was.
“Don’t be insolent,” he hissed at her. “You think this is a lovey-dovey game? I could have gotten us in serious trouble with Crow a few minutes ago. You’re lucky you timed it right coming back. I know he would have gone into his office.”
Nala didn’t mention a certain tidbit.
“This is a different world. We live in a different world when we’re here. Just like you separate yourself to deal with this, so do I. From the moment I walked through those doors downstairs, I became the Dom I usually keep locked up inside me. So, let me say… from the moment we walked through those doors, my mind has been in overdrive with you, Nightingale.”
Her eyes widened. “Vin… I mean, sir.”
“Good.” He tucked more of her hair back, fingers playing with the edges of her mask. “We’re being tracked. Maybe not in terms of our snooping around yet, but we are definitely still on probation. They want us to get over our shyness. Do you know what I mean?”
She swallowed. “Yeah.”
He tipped her chin up, forcing her to look him in the cold blue eyes. Oh my shit. He is so fucking hot. Dom Vincent was a different kind of hot from everyday Vincent, but damn if he wasn’t as hot! No, this is wrong. This is the wrong time for this! They were in Crow’s mansion… liable to be seen by him at any time. Nala may be willing to try out exhibitionism under different circumstances, but this was definitely not the right circumstance!
“Good. I’m not going to make you expose yourself…” he glanced at her chest. “Or so I thought when we were getting ready to come here. Then you walked down my stairs wearing this corset, taunting me. Do you know what that does to a man?”
Nala didn’t have to guess. I can tell you what it does to me…
“Take them out.”
“I…”
“Now, Nightingale.”
He spoke directly to the obedient woman inside of her. The one who would drop everything to do whatever her Master commanded. That was Nightingale’s identity. That was who Nala tried to be ever since coming here.
It would make… things… easier.
She loosened her corset, eyes flitting to the opening in the door. Someone was screaming in ecstasy from down the hall. Maggie? Quail? Robin was probably passed out drunk, but hey, maybe she sobered up enough to play a game with her equally toasted Master.
“Don’t dawdle. If you do, I’ll have to punish you.”
Nala stopped, looking him in the eye. Is he serious? Of course he was. He was a Dom. She was a sub. Her disobedience would lead to sexually frustrating places… here of all places!
She released her breasts from their casement, careful to keep her back turned toward the door. Vincent’s gaze hovered on her breasts, his hand coming to pinch her nearest nipple.
“Vincent…” Nala tried to deny the pleasure erupting in tiny spurts within her. “Please don’t make me have intercourse here.”
His fingers caressed the underside of her breast, lips descending to kiss her bare chest and then whisper in her ear. “I won’t ‘make’ you do anything. I’ll do my best to protect you, but you must obey to the best of your abilities. You never know who is watching and waiting for us to prove ourselves unworthy.”
Strokes of gentle compliance eased down her back. Nala wanted to sink into his embrace but refrained. He hadn’t told her to do that, after all. I hope you’re enjoying this, Nightingale.
“We have to hurry. Everyone else is already having the times of their lives.” Vincent eased Nala down onto the floor – in particular, onto her knees. Her back remained toward the door. Yet I feel like everyone can see me. “You don’t have to have finesse. Just do it.”
“Do what?”
“Come on, don’t play dumb. It’s not cute on you.”
Nala furrowed her brows. “I’m serious. What are you talking about?”
He yanked on her hair, pulling her head back. Nala braced herself against his spreading legs, her boots digging into the carpet and her ass threatening to land behind them. “Suck my cock, Nightingale.”
She had a feeling he was going to say that.
Perhaps if they were home – and it was still strange calling it that – she would be into this. Him, dominating her, making her half undress and get on her knees to pleasure him. But they weren’t home. Nala was constantly aware of where they were, and who might be watching.
Don’t think about that. Think about him. Think about what you might get out of this. A brief escape in a world out to get her.
Nala really didn’t have any time to lose. She had to hold on to the feeling flooding her as she unzipped his pants and rubbed her hand against his half-erect cock. Vincent propped himself up with one hand while the other combed through her hair. “Is it wrong of me to say this is kind of hot?” he murmured.
Why are we going there? Nala didn’t want to say that hearing him hiss through his teeth as she pulled him free from his pants made her hot between the legs, but yet here she was, already imagining him throwing her down on the bed and fucking her.
He was right, wasn’t he? At some point someone would peek in and expect something to be happening. Even if no one caught Nala giving Vincent quick head, they would definitely hear the way this man came. Better him than Nala, who wouldn’t be able to perform given the conditions. In a way, he was taking one for the team, or at least sparing Nala as much embarrassment as possible.
As for loosening her corset? Vincent had already made it known a time or two he found her breasts hot, and looking at them – let alone pinching her nipples – was a surefire way to get hard, fast.
“This is hot, sir,” she said, not intending to sound like a damned robot. Her hand wrapped firm around his base, breath coming dangerously close to his tip. She could smell his musky scent even before lowering her head and tasting the precum already emerging.
Nala was glad she had volunteered to give this guy oral a while ago, because this was only her second time, and she didn’t trust that a first time would be any shade of good. I barely know what he’s like giving it to me missionary style. She wanted to learn more, though.
Vincent was fully erect by the time she wrapped her mouth around his girth and began massaging the heavy sack beneath. For all his composure, Vincent struggled to not force himself into her throat. Thank goodness. Nala already had troubles taking as much as she did into her mouth. The last thing she needed was him fucking her face.
That could happen some other time. When they were home and she could be seen exerting some control over situations.
“Fuck,” Vincent murmured, one hand pulling her hair while the other ran down her bare back and tickled her filling throat. “Fuck.”
He said that she could use little finesse and be quick. Under usual circumstances, she would draw this out, make him beg – in the only way Doms can – for release and then take it from her. But they needed to get this over with. There were things to discuss, like… like…uh. I don’t remember. Whatever.
She had fully escaped into the world Nightingale occupied. As far as she was concerned, this was a game to see how quickly she could get her Master off.
His cock was already swelling in her mouth by the time he started talking dirty. Loudly. In case anyone was listening in the hall, Nala supposed.
“Look at you,” he growled, both hands pushed into the thick of her hair. Nala braved glancing up, catching a visage full of dominance. “Taking out your tits for me and sucking my cock. Do you like it, Nightingale?”
Hearing him say her code name gave her as many shivers as her real name. She relaxed her gaze so he knew she liked it.
He called her a few choice words. Loudly. Nala wore those words as a badge of honor, taking the challenge head-on as she felt him grow larger within her and prepare to come.
Sure enough, as if she couldn’t have timed it better herself, Nala brought her mouth down along his shaft as the first wave of his climax occurred. It brought with it the taste of a man who had been forced to come long before he intended. Of course, this was all Vincent’s plan – but Nala didn’t doubt that he would like to take his time and hold back as much as possible. What man didn’t want to enjoy this aspect of a woman’s attentions?
Nala continued to lick whatever her tongue could find as he finished on the back of her throat. She relaxed her gag as best as she could, breathing through her nose so she could swallow everything he gave her before pulling off his cock. When she finally did, she met the languid eyes of a man who damn well wanted to enjoy the afterglow of this kind of lovemaking.
“Shit, that was good.”
“You think anyone noticed?” Nala wiped him from the corner of her mouth. Vincent reached over, grabbed a tissue, and handed it to her.
“If you didn’t notice me making all that noise, then I don’t know what to tell you. I’m practically famous in the club now, I’m sure.”
She hadn’t heard anything, but that was neither here nor there. I must have been really into it… His scent overwhelmed more than his voice did. That was the epitome of erotic. That and taste. Nala could indulge in that all day if given the chance. Maybe I will be one day. It wasn’t coming anytime soon. When they weren’t having quickies in the club, they were passed out dead in his loft. Or Nala was running away from everything…
Vincent helped her up onto the bed. At first she thought he would push her down and give her pleasure, but – thankfully – he merely brought her into his embrace and stroked the back of her head.
“I’m sorry for making you do these things.”
She patted his back. “You don’t make me do anything. I know what our situation is as much as you do.”
“I don’t delude myself into thinking that this is ideal for you, though.”
“I’m sure it is for you, though. Mr. Dom who likes controlling women during sex.”
He laughed, almost tragically. “I won’t lie. It gets me off pretty damn good, but even so, it’s not really under my conditions. If I had to redo these past five minutes…”
Vincent didn’t have to tell her. It would’ve been a lot more fun for me too.
She put on a brave face. After all, Nala couldn’t let her world turn into a pity party because she couldn’t have a whole night’s worth of great sex with Vincent. Yes, that’s the problem. That’s what she told herself as she broke out of his hold and fixed herself up in the nearest mirror. Vincent fixed his clothes and kept his eyes on her back. Even though she no longer pointed her breasts at him, he still found something to stare longingly at.
Nala cracked a smile. When do I tell him about what I found?
First, she needed to go to the bathroom. For real, this time.
Eventually Nala would learn to stop going to the bathroom at these club meetings. Nothing ever, ever good came out of them.
This time Nala’s punishment came in the form of Hawk, leaning against the wall outside the bedroom door. The smirk on her pointed face as she uncrossed her arms and faced Nala nearly struck her dead right there and then.
“Good job, little Nightingale,” she purred, voice laced in arsenic. “I was starting to suspect that you and Master Lane didn’t have much going on.”
Nala’s spine bristled. “We have plenty going on, let me assure you.” Her tongue would be the death of her. “Want me to describe how his cock feels in my ass?” Whoa, sometimes the lies got away from her!
“That’s quite all right.” Hawk’s smirk did not waver, and that disturbed Nala more than anything else. “Oh, don’t worry that pretty head of yours, Nightingale. You and Master Lane are his favorites right now, and that’s not a terrible thing to be. Just… keep in mind that his whims change. A lot. You don’t know what he’s capable of.”
Nala had a pretty good idea, but did her best to not react.
“I’ll leave you to your cleanup then. Wouldn’t want to keep your Master waiting for you.”
That was her cue to leave, so Nala did, stealing into the bathroom at the end of the hall as Xavier Crow’s office door creaked open to let him back out.
Nala locked the bathroom door behind her and held herself there, chest heaving in exasperation as her knees buckled beneath her. The potpourri scent filling the room made her want to gag. The black walls and stark, white plumbing frightened her in ways no décor should. What is happening to me? Was it the thrill of the espionage? Was it the arousal Vincent brought out of her when he forced her to her knees and opened his trousers for her awaiting mouth? No. No, it was Hawk, who had been standing outside their door listening for the sounds of sex.
Although Nala knew that people would be watching, it wasn’t until now that she realized people would be watching. Not just the occasional giggly Robin and her ravenous boyfriend Lucian. Xavier Crow. And Hawk.
They would be watching, waiting for them to mess up.
They would be watching, waiting to see Nala and Vincent in their most intimate moments. Waiting to see what they thought was Vincent humiliating his girlfriend.
Nala.
No, Nightingale.
Maybe Nightingale didn’t care, but it was times like these that Nala found it impossible to separate the two identities. How was she supposed to, when the heart she and Nightingale shared were the same? Their spirits? She could say that their minds were one, but separate, but that was hogwash. At the end of the day, they were the same women, both struggling to fight back their anger, their feelings for…
Their feelings for Vincent.
Nala sucked up her pride and whatever else she felt as she went back to their room and made a grand show of placating and servicing whatever Vincent wanted. This followed them out to the salon, where two other sexually sated couples waited with drinks and canoodles. Nala whispered in Vincent’s ear that he should insinuate what they had done, all while stroking his arm and inner thigh, pointing her chest to him and employing every bit of body language she had to make it look like she craved her Master’s machinations.
The more she detached and let Nightingale’s mind takeover, the easier it was. Nala had to retreat, deep into her mind, her body, forgetting the shock and pain she felt the moment she realized how far into this world they were. Somehow she managed to stick out the rest of the night. Vincent didn’t suggest they leave until three other couples had. By then, Crow and Hawk had been engaging him in tech talk while Nala gradually loosened the ties on her corset again. Never enough to let her breasts pop out, but enough to imply she wanted her Master to do her good when they got back home.
I feel so dirty.
Vincent led her downstairs when it was time to leave. He was parked deep in the shadows, and it wasn’t until the headlights of his car turned on that Nala realized they were still on Crow’s property.
She stayed strong as they pulled down the dirt road toward the main road. She stayed strong as they descended the hills, weaving in and out until they hit Burnside again, the road that would take them home.
Home.
Vincent’s loft was now home.
Nala could never escape the world she now found herself in. There was no retreating to her closet, where the worst she dealt with was cramped legs and the smell of marijuana in the living room. Where her roommates and their friends said stupid shit but were otherwise harmless. Where she came home to eat oatmeal for dinner before lounging in the bath for an hour.
Instead, she lived with Vincent, the man who started this whole endeavor. The man who made love like a beast unleashed from its cage. The man so broken inside that he would be as likely to admit his feelings for Nala as she would be to confess whatever she felt to him.
There was no escape there. Everywhere she could possibly turn was infested with proof that her life was now totally, utterly consumed by Xavier Crow.
Nala held it together until Vincent pulled into his personal parking garage. She held it together until he unsnapped his seatbelt and sat there, waiting for her to say something.
Not a single word came out of her mouth. Just a long, mournful wail as everything she tried to contain burst forth in a slew of salty tears.
Nala crumpled into her lap, burying her tear-stained face and attempting – vainly – to stifle the howls and wails she so often kept bottled up inside. Vincent remained sitting in his seat. He wasn’t being disrespectful. Not in Nala’s cloudy eyes. No, he was letting her cry it out while still remaining in her presence. His hands gripped the steering wheel as he looked away. Whenever Nala wiped away her most recent slew of tears, she saw him sitting upright, arms shaking as he too fought back his emotions.
“What’s wrong?” he finally asked. That deep voice wasn’t the most comforting thing in the world. This wasn’t a man who was about to grab her and tell her everything would be all right. This was a man who was ready to whip the car around and run some poor mother fucker over if it meant Nala would feel better. That’s sort of sweet.
Nala sniffed up more tears, only moving when Vincent presented her with a handkerchief from his pocket. She snatched it from him and blew her nose, although her biggest problem was the tears staining her face as opposed to any snot accumulating in her nostrils.
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
Vincent shifted in his seat. “You should. I want to know what upset you so badly.”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
Nala looked at him through bloodshot eyes. Although his visage was stern, everything else about him was relaxed, almost kindly. Men don’t like seeing a woman cry, I guess. Nala held back her urge to touch him. That way led to too much danger.
“She was watching us, Vincent. She was watching me blow your dick.”
“They do that, yeah. I knew she was out there spying on people. Why do you think I was in such a hurry?”
“I know, but… I feel… I felt… right now I am so disgusted I can’t handle it!”
Although she tried to hold them back, Nala couldn’t contain the new tears falling from the corners of her eyes. I’m so pathetic. Of course she knew people might watch them fool around. That was the whole point of the club!
“That man had my sister killed, Vincent. It’s because of him I have to do all of this to begin with. It’s the only way I can possibly get justice, and I don’t know how to do even that!” She slapped her hands against her face, shaking, convulsing as she remembered the way her sister’s killer looked at her as if she were a piece of meat to devour. “What am I doing? What am I doing with you? Do I really think I can do something to get that man taken care of? What chance do we really have? I’m doing things I never thought I would. I left Nevada for this expensive purgatory, and… and…”
Finally, Vincent reached over and put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re doing what you think you have to do, like I am.”
“Don’t.” Nala wanted to shrug him off, but his touch was too reassuring. Damn him. “We’re in no way equal. This is your thing anyway. What are you sacrificing? What’s keeping you up at night through all of this?”
His grip fastened tighter. “I’m seeing you in pain right now. I’m seeing the man who killed the woman I loved more than any other… I’m seeing him hurt someone else now. If you don’t think that makes me burn with rage in my gut, then I don’t know what to tell you, Nala. I don’t express myself well, that’s true. I keep things bottled up and channel that energy into other things. It’s not healthy. I know that, but it’s how I am… and don’t think for two seconds that I don’t care what you’re going through as well. I’m not naïve. I know you’re taking the brunt of it.”
Nala shook her head. “I hate this. I want it to stop. I want… I wanna go home, wherever that is.”
“Home is where that man can’t haunt you anymore.”
Her lips vibrated in the need to cry even more.
“Come here.” Every time he said that, Nala felt more secure. That was becoming code for “let me hold you” or “let me take you to a place that will blow your fucking mind.” Right now it was the former, his arms encircling her as his chest came for her cheek. Nala melted right into his embrace, clutching him, crying into his silk shirt and wishing there was a way to have Vincent and none of the crap hanging over their heads, lurking in the shadows, or breathing down their necks.
Nala clung harder, the stick shift of the car separating them, but not enough to keep her out of his hold.
“I’m sorry, Nala,” Vincent said softly. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry for what he’s done to your life.”
He took away the one person I loved the most. Vincent was right when he said that earlier – Nala felt the same. They thought of two very different people, but just because they were different didn’t mean they were any less deserving of their love and admiration. Vincent lost the love of his young life. A brilliant tech mind who could have created the next great wave of personal aids. Nala? She lost her big sister, her caretaker, the one person she could count on to make her smile and understand what she went through growing up without a father and a mother who slipped further and further away from reality.
“You don’t have to be sorry,” she said. “I made the choice to pursue this. You’ve never made me do anything I didn’t want to do or understand why we had to do it. Anything we’ve done in private… I wanted to do it, Vincent. Don’t ask me why. I just did.”
His fingers pulled hair back from her sticky face, and… were those his lips brushing against her forehead? “I’m not the best man in the world when it comes to helping other people feel better. I admit I don’t really know what to do, but I want you to know that I’m sorry you’re in so much pain right now, Nala.”
“You dumbass,” she muttered against his chest. “That’s all you have to say. You’ve got it down pat.”
He kissed the space between her ear and cheek, easing himself back and pulling his seatbelt on again. When the car started once more, Nala got the hint and sat up in her seat, seatbelt still strapped against her chest. “Maybe it’s all I have to say, but there are a few things I can do. Hold on. Let’s escape for a while.”