Chapter One
Russell
The last place I wanted to be returning to was Distance. After all, my grandfather had named our tucked-away shifter haven the repelling name for a reason—so that all who shouldn't be there would stay away.
Not that they listened. Humans never listened to plain reason.
I glanced into the rearview mirror and saw nothing on my tail for the first time in days. Maybe I’d finally lost them, and the trip to the place I had been told to leave as a teen wasn’t necessary at all.
“Almost to Distance, buddy,” I called to the back seat, looking at my boy in the rearview mirror.
“You said we’re not a-pposed to go there, Papa. I can protect you. I won’t let anything hurt you.”
I smiled down at the boy who had blue eyes so clear they were almost white in the glimmer of the sun filtering through the windshield. He had his father’s eyes. Eyes that could tell the most beautiful lies, and anybody would fall for them in an instant.
What a fool I’d been.
I sighed and faced forward. Explaining these things to a four-year-old wasn’t what I had planned for the trip. Then again, nothing I’d ever done had ever gone to plan, so I shouldn’t be surprised. “I know, sweet boy. But they will help us. They may not like it, but they will protect me and you. And there are other boys like you there.”
He flexed his tiny arms and showed his developing biceps, already leaner than the human boys his age. “They have arms like this? They got claws?”
“They have claws. Yes. And you can run in the swamps for miles and miles.”
He perked up at that. I’d always had to quell his natural urge to run the long distances we wolves longed for, but, in Distance, he could run until his little claws broke.
We passed a sign that read “Jericho thirty miles,” and my stomach flipped and leapt into my throat. Jericho was where I would turn to get to Distance. This wasn’t what I wanted for Oliver or myself. But, mostly, I didn’t want my son, who watched me as though the rising sun was my doing, to know why and how I’d been thrown, at such a tender age, from the only home I’d ever known.
We didn’t even get to the gate before we were accosted by Jameson, now a man, when all I remembered of him were boyish stares and football games from our past. But as much as he was different, he was the same. His deep-green eyes matched the last of the green on the trees before they turned in the fall.
“You are banned,” he said with a firm nod, grinding his jaw. His fists balled as he spoke to me. They all must be like this—pissed off at me for things I did.
“My banishment ended. Three months ago. I need help. There are people—I’m in danger from humans.”
I knew from shifter gossip circles that my brother Travis was now alpha. My father and grandfather were still alive but had retired from their stations instead of letting death choose their successor. My brother would let me in. He had to. I was willing to beg at that point—for me and for my son.
Jameson was my brother’s best friend and though I saw a hint of empathy as he bent down to see my son through the open window, it was short-lived. “I’ll have to call. I can’t let you in without permission. You know the rules, Russ.”
I interjected with a smile, “Aren’t you the beta now?”
His hand covered what I thought might’ve been his famous grin. “I am. But for this matter, I have to consult Travis.”
I nodded and watched him walk away into the tiny security booth, hidden in the camouflage of a tree trunk. Jameson had always been a little skinnier than the rest of the boys, but the few years I’d been away had been good to him. His shirt was stretched thin over pecs that were no stranger to working out, and the rest of him was just as built.
He had called me Russ instead of Russell, and the tiny favor calmed me as I watched him talk to someone, nodding every once in a while. He glanced over at me several times and held his hand over the receiver while answering whatever interrogation I was under from far away.
I knew it would be like this—even at the gate.
They knew who I was, regardless of my past transgressions, and I hoped against hope that my previous reputation and the hope of redemption was enough to get me in. I could take anything they could dish out as long as Oliver was safe inside the walls of Distance.
A father will take anything to make sure his children are safe—especially a shifter father.
After a long conversation, Jameson came back to the car and bent forward, resting his crossed arms on the window frame. “Travis, um, the alpha, gave permission. You can go in now. And, Russ?” His eyes shifted around and then landed back on me. My neck flushed with excited heat as the memories of the boy, now man, in front of me, flooded back.
“Yeah?” My answer came out too breathy—too desperate.
“They aren’t going to take it easy on you. But I promise I’ll do what I can to—I’ll try to… Just go in. I’m sorry.”
He shifted right there outside of my beat-up Jeep Cherokee and sprang into the trees that led to the place I was born.
The way he tried to warn me scared me more than what I was running from in the first place, and for a split second I considered making a U-turn right there and taking my chances with the humans.
“Papa, you saw that? He’s a big wolf. I wanna be a big wolf like him when I get big. I have to eat all my steak, huh? Just like you, you’re a giant wolf.”
Looking at my son in the mirror again, I was in awe of the male who had just left our presence, I knew I had to take whatever Travis dished out for my son’s sake. He needed these males’ example and influence in his life. He needed more males like me to look up to.
We belonged here, and fate had brought me back.
“Yes, buddy. You have to eat your veggies, too.”
He scrunched up his nose at that.
Now to convince my brother I belonged back at home and my son did, too.
I entered through the open gate and was directed to a new alpha house—not the one my father and Travis and I had grown up in. Instead, the cedar mansion I parked in front of was like a mini plantation house.
I guessed it wasn’t the only thing that had changed over the years.
“Hold me, Papa. I wanna see the big house.” Oliver wriggled in his car seat, demanding my attention.
There were four males on the porch waiting for us—all with arms crossed, commanding submission. Travis and my father were two of them. Jameson and someone else I didn’t recognize were the others. Jameson was the only one who looked indifferent—the rest glared as though I was the enemy crossing onto their grounds. I was surprised they didn’t snarl or snap at me.
None of them held out their arms in welcome like they had in my daydreams.
I shouldn’t be surprised at this point.
“I’m coming, Ollie. Hold on.” I got out, and Oliver finagled his way out of his seat belt. I picked him up, putting his weight on my hip for balance. His fists clung to my shirt and his nervous energy was so palpable it tingled on my tongue. “Don’t be scared, sweet man. No one will hurt you. They are going to love you—I promise. And if they don’t, we will find somewhere else to go.”
I approached the porch and before my feet could land on the steps, my father started, “Russell, it’s been a long time.”
Other than a few more gray hairs than I’d remembered, he hadn’t changed a bit. His eyes still held contempt and his words were sometimes venomous.
“It has, Father.” He liked to be called Father. Daddy or Dad wouldn’t be heard in his household.
He nodded at Ollie. “This must be the child. What’s his name?”
Nervousness seized my lips, and they faltered with Oliver’s name on them. Fortunately, my son was as smart as they came.
“My name is Oliver.” He broke up the syllables in case my father was daft, which would have made me laugh if the situation wasn’t teetering on the edge of disaster.
My father almost smiled—almost. “Hello, Oliver. You may call me Grandfather.”
Thank God my son didn’t miss a beat. “Benji calls his grandfather Granddad.” One of his little eyebrows popped up, defending him.
“Well, you’re not Benji, are you? And I bet Benji isn’t a wolf.”
“Papa says I’m a big wolf, and one day I’ll be the biggest around.”
That made my father laugh out loud. The sound almost brought me to tears. My chin quivered the tiniest bit, but I covered it with my hand. “You want to show me? I think your Papa needs to talk to these other males for a second. I’ll bring you to meet your grandmother. She can’t wait to meet you.”
Oliver turned his blues on me and gauged my face for an answer. “It’s fine. You can go with him. You’re safe to turn into a wolf anytime you want to, here.”
A gasp. “Anytime?” He questioned me but looked at each male one by one.
I replied, “Anytime.”
He clutched onto me for a few more minutes, grinding his jaw in thought, and then kicked his legs for me to let him down. My eyes followed their movements, holding the hand of my father until both were out of sight. It wasn’t the ideal situation, but my father and mother would never mistreat my son—no matter how he came into this world.
“He looks like Kyle,” Travis finally spoke with no sense of care in his voice. Anger seethed over my brother’s face as he said the name of the male who ruined our once very close relationship.
I nodded. “Just his eyes, I think. The rest I’m hoping is a little like me.”
Travis cleared his throat. “He’s a lot like you. Shall we proceed? Come to my office.”
They allowed me to go in front of them, probably so I wouldn’t run for my life. The house, inside, seemed more massive than on the outside. Everything was stark and cold—just like my brother kept his room as a child. He shirked all toys at the age of five and kept his room cleaner than a sergeant.
“You don’t have a mate yet?” I regretted the question as soon as it exited my mouth. There was no scent of an omega in the house, and certainly no homey touches throughout the stale furnishings.
He chuckled, but there was no laughter in the staccato sound. “No. I have too many responsibilities. Mother and Father are searching for a suitable choice for me.”
That sounded about right.
No feeling—no care.
What I really wanted to say to my brother in that moment, with all of his staunch demeanor, was that suitable should be a word that characterized a pair of shoes or a suit, not a mate. A wolf’s mate should be the other half of their soul—the center of their being.
“Have a seat, Russell,” Travis said, sitting behind his overcompensating, large desk.
I didn’t dare look at Jameson like I wanted to. The slightest sign of disrespect might have me on my ass.
Travis cleared his throat and began, “You’ve been gone a while. Things have changed around here. While I know that you have served your banishment from Distance as you should’ve, there are still some things to consider if you are to be pack again.”
I hadn’t really considered being pack again. I just assumed they would allow us to live here under their protection.
From my peripheral vision, I spotted Jameson shifting in his seat, not comfortable with this whole thing. The air in Travis’s office was thick with anxiety and, for some reason, I thought most of it was coming from Jameson’s direction.
Rubbing my hands up and down my thighs, I shrugged. “Name your terms, Alpha. I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep my son safe.”
He rubbed his hands together—like this was all fun for him. “Why don’t you start with who you’re running from?”
I gave myself a minute to calm before proceeding. “I witnessed a crime. I was taking the leftover food from the restaurant that I worked at to the local homeless shelter. It was around midnight. There were some people gathered in a circle near the drop-off, but at first I ignored it—until they started shouting. I smelled blood and realized something was happening. That’s when I saw one of the men pull out a gun and shoot the rest of them. They said he’d been stabbed by one right before shooting him—that’s why I smelled blood. Now I’m the witness to the crime, and the human police aren’t going to be able to help me before something happens. People have been following me. A man walks behind me when I return home from work. The preschool said Oliver was talking to a man through the fence while he was at recess. I’m not safe out there.”
“How long has this been going on?” he asked.
“Almost seven months. The last straw was when Oliver told me the man talking to him through the fence said that he would be back to get him.”
From the corner of my eye, I could see Jameson scrubbing a hand down his face. His energy was so strong, I could almost taste his anger in the air.
“There will be some stipulations for your stay here, Russell. You’d be on probation for a while—to prove to us that you are loyal to the pack and not just here for temporary refuge.”
I almost laughed out loud—almost. I’d been the epitome of a loyal pack member for nineteen years before naively falling for a swindler from another pack. The secrecy and hidden tryst had been attractive to me—someone who had followed the rules for his entire life until that point.
And then my father found out, which was bad enough. We wolves mated for life and ideally had only one partner—our true mate. I’d not only shamed myself, but had practically branded myself single for the rest of my life. No one wanted an omega who’d already had another alpha’s son.
To them, it was beyond forgiveness.
I bowed my head and bared my neck, which was customary for the situation. “I understand, Alpha.”
Travis sighed and, after turning around in his swivel chair, ran his finger over the sill, testing it for dust. “Jameson will be in charge of you during the probation period. You will not leave the pack lands without him. You will not go anywhere outside of your backyard, even inside the pack lands, without him. In fact, I’m putting you in the house right next to him. It’s a house built for new members, and you can live there free until you can get a job and pay rent, which you can’t do until your probation is over.”
Jameson spoke up, but his tone verged on insincere. “Alpha, I have other duties. I can’t babysit a pack member.”
Travis snarled at Jameson’s rebuttal. I hadn’t even thought about Jameson having a mate. He probably already had an omega and a family. He had no time to look after a delinquent like me.
Maybe he didn’t have an omega and he just didn’t want to be stuck with a male who had been banished.
Travis roared, “You will heed my commands, Beta. It is this or he’s gone—your choice.”
My brother had turned cold again. Not that he’d warmed up all that much.
“I understand, Alpha. Russell, let’s get your things into the house. I’ll show you where it is.”
The other man, I assumed a sentry, filed out, followed by Jameson. I knew Travis didn’t care, but I had to say something. I stood and turned away from him—not even willing to meet my brother’s gaze. I didn’t want to see any more of his disgust. “Travis. Thank you. I know it will not happen, but Oliver could use you in his life. He’s never had an uncle. You might like him if you could move past…”
“Go, Russell. I’m done talking. We won’t let anyone get near you or—him.”
Him. He wouldn’t even say my son’s name.
Jameson was waiting for me when I stepped outside, still shaken by my brother’s distance. “Let’s go get your things. See that yellow house out there? That’s yours. Mine’s the one next to it.”
He was pointing to a tiny cottage next to a smaller version of Travis’s house. Oliver would be running outside a lot with the little space afforded us.
Except I was only allowed to watch from afar. I was still being punished.
Jameson cleared his throat. “We can drive your car there and unpack. Then we will discuss how this is going to work.”
The tips of his ears were red, and his jaw worked, grinding on his anger.
I drove the short distance with Jameson in the passenger seat. His shoulders alone took up most of the space, and I thought he’d never get out once he’d gotten in.
The house inside was fully furnished except the kitchen. Jameson got the bags out of the car, set them all in the living room, and then shut the door behind him and closed the blinds one by one, like he couldn’t get them closed fast enough.
That’s when it all fell apart.