Jasmine

I run until my magic tells me to stop and end up near an old abandoned hut. Pain blossoms in my knees when I collapse to the hard earth, my heart feeling like it’s just been broken all over again.

I can't believe he's a fucking wolf! And an Alpha no less. I could tell he was just by watching him at the top of those stairs. His demeanour held power, and the wolves all watched him with rapt attention. My knees cramp on the hard gravel, so I crawl over to a small outcrop of lush grass that grows along the outside of the hut.

As I sit there, with my arms wrapped around my knees while I try to keep it together, I can feel someone watching me. I close my eyes and send out my magic, feeling the distinct signature of a wolf I haven’t met before off to my right. I let my magic guide me over to where the person is. Then, I open my eyes and see the same alluring violet eyes that I saw on the captivating stranger from earlier, watching me.

The shrubs rustle as the wolf comes forward, and I'm met with the sight of a beautiful majestic black wolf.

I try to calm my racing heart, knowing he's one of the shifters, but holy damn, he's huge. I get to my feet slowly as he approaches, and notice he comes up to just past my chest.

Even if he is a shifter, he's a lot bigger than I thought they were supposed to be. All the witches I've talked to said their wolf counterparts were the same size as a natural wolf in order to help them blend into nature. Now I think I've been lied to.

"Can I touch you?" I ask, holding a hand out and keeping it just out of reach in case he gets snippy. I know some of them don't like being treated like pets, but I can't help the urge to run my hands through his thick fur coat.

The wolf tips his head forward, pushing it into my waiting palm. I smile, feeling calmer than ever. I run my hand over his head down behind his ears, laughing when he leans into my touch with a small growl of approval.

As I explore his soft, silky coat, I begin to talk.

"I'm sorry for acting like a brat out there, it’s just Alpha and I have a little history between us. I never believed I'd see him again, and now here I am, stuck in a pack of wolves who are looking for their mates, and the first man I ever loved is just standing right there, as if not a day has gone by. I swear I'm not usually like this. It just took me by surprise," I explain as the wolf moves closer and rubs his head against my hip.

I giggle and sit down on the ground, crossing my legs to get comfortable. He lays down, curling around my body protectively, and rests his head on his paws, as if keeping watch around me.

I smile peacefully and continue to talk as I aimlessly rub my hands through the soft fur on his neck.

"I have no idea what to do. Do I go back and be the bigger person and pretend I didn't just slap your Alpha? Or do I wait for him to come find me? Ugh!” I throw my hands up, frustrated. "Why did he have to be here of all places? Why couldn’t I have stumbled upon him years ago? It just feels like the fates are playing some twisted joke on me. I bet they’re up there in their fancy ass thrones looking down on me right now and laughing as my head spins. 'Oh look, the girl found the love of her life again. Let’s make him a werewolf that already has a mate.' Stupid fucking archaic mate system."

That's where most of my anger lies. Josh said their Alpha already had a mate when the witch tried to trick him into a love spell, so that can only mean he's already met his mate, which breaks my fucking heart.

Maybe that’s why he left in the first place? He met her and knew nothing could happen between us, so rather than explaining, he just took off. Still a fucking shitty way to end it, but I guess there's nothing I can do about it.

Mates are eternally linked. Once the mating is acknowledged, nothing can be done to break them apart but death itself.

My new friend and I remain sitting for a while, the peace of it helping to somewhat calm my magic. When I feel a little more in control, I sigh, knowing what needs to be done.

"Thank you for staying with me, wolf. Your company soothed my magic and for that, I am grateful. But it's time for me to pull on my big girl panties and apologize. If I want to survive this trip, I don't want to be known as the woman who goes around slapping people without cause, even though I think I was completely justified in my actions." I grin when the wolf growls in agreement. Don't ask me how I know he approves, I just do somehow.

I climb to my feet and stretch out my limbs with a yawn. The wolf watches my every move, and I can't help but feel pleased about that. I don't know who he is, but I intend to find out. He has done so much for me already, even if he doesn't realize it.

My magic, while unpredictable at the best of times, becomes a whole mess of confusion when emotions are added. No matter how much I’ve tried to control it, whenever I get upset or hurt, it would lash out for me.

Even now when I do my breathing exercises, I have to find that safe place within myself to keep centered, or it explodes from within like a monster of pure rage.

I look down at the violet-eyed wolf as he sits obediently like a well-trained dog and smirk. "Do you think you could 'accidentally' run and dive right into your Alpha's balls? Maybe bite just a little? Or, you could even go full on mauler and deliver his balls back to me?" I suggest as the rage-filled side of me slips through the cracks.

His violet eyes sparkle, and I know he's laughing at me.

"That seems a little extreme, don't you think?"

I whip around at the sound of the familiar voice and fight the urge to slap him again. Those pretty blue eyes draw me in, and I swear there’s hurt in them. Well, too fucking bad! He hurt me, he deserves a little pain and humiliation after all the suffering I went through.

I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him in defiance. "What do you want, Benji?"

He sighs and gestures to the patch of grass where I was just sitting. "Can we talk? I think things between us have been a little muddled up, and I at least think I deserve the chance to explain."

I bite my tongue and nod briskly, sitting back down with my legs crossed. He keeps his distance as he sits in the same position opposite me. I have to fight not to lose myself in those blue eyes. They are so mesmerizing that I feel like a fly about to be caught in a honey trap.

The wolf nudges me, and I smile, stroking his fur for a moment before he takes off, leaving me and Benji alone.

"Jazzy, why are you here?"

The familiar name makes me suck in a breath. It hurts so much to hear him call me that as if no time has passed between us.

"I'm the next witch the Order sent to find a mate among your pack. Why are you asking me this? You should already know!"

My anger starts to boil, and he holds his hands out in a calming manner, trying to get me to back down. I guess he must know exactly what I'm capable of when angered. All that line of thought does is make me question whether he knew that I was a witch when we first met?

It’s one of the hardest kept secrets, because while some humans could know about our existence, we aren't allowed to freely offer up that information. And as far as I was aware when we met, that’s all he was, human.

"No, Jazzy, I understand you're a witch. I've known that since the moment we first met. I smelt the power rolling off you in waves. What I mean is why haven't you already told the Order you have a mate? They wouldn't have sent you here if you had been up front with them about it."

I cock my head, a mix of confusion and annoyance. He’s starting to give me a goddamn headache. "What are you on about? I don't have a mate. That's the whole reason I'm here. To see if one of your wolves is my mate."

What the hell has Benji been smoking? As if I'd have a fucking mate already! Seriously, sometimes men can be so thick!

He growls, and his eyes darken with anger. "You will not go near any of my wolves, Jasmine. You are mine! I will not allow it!"

I choke back a laugh as he glowers at me. "I'm not yours! You made that abundantly clear when you left me. No note, not even a fucking goodbye I might add!"

He sighs, exasperated. "Jazzy! I didn't leave you, I swear! I have no idea what lies your mother told you, but I left because my pack needed me." He pauses to take in a breath before continuing with his explanation. "I knew who you were to me, but you weren't yet an adult. You were sixteen, Jasmine! You weren't even legal yet. How on earth could I start something, knowing I would be betraying human laws? I didn't want to rip you from your life when you could still live it without me. I left you behind to grow up and become a woman. I only hoped you would come to me when you were ready to accept me."

He's acting as if I knew he was a wolf the whole time he was with us. Fair enough, I understand not pursuing anything because I was sixteen when we met, but why didn't he ever come back for me?

"Why are you telling me this now? Why not when you left me? All I knew was one day you were there, and the next, you were gone. For a whole week, I kept hoping and praying you would come back and when you didn't, I became angry. All I thought was you had used me to get closer to my mother."

He sighs and leans back in the grass beside me, staring up at the blue sky, the colour a close match to his eyes.

"The night I met your mother, nothing happened between us."

I lay down in the grass beside him, ready to hear what he has to say. Hopefully, some of this is going to start making sense.

"I was supposed to come to your place to meet your mother for, well, sex. We met while in a club, and she invited me back to her place for a little fun. Usually a witch wouldn't satisfy my needs, but I was in need of a pick-me-up and didn't think it would matter. After all, it was only one night. Little did I know, my life was about to change."

I feel him move closer until our arms are brushing together. My heart races a little from the touch, and I instantly hate myself for feeling anything remotely nice towards him.

"When I came into your home, your mother mentioned she was watching a child for the night, but it was okay because you were already in bed. That immediately set off alarm bells in my head. Why would she be okay having me over if she was supposedly looking after a child? Why would she leave a child at home alone to go out on the town?"

He shakes his head, clearly confused by the way my mother’s mind worked. It’s kinda funny because most men were always confused by her behaviour and motives. I was the only one who understood the method to her madness.

None of them understood why she kept me around when she barely looked after me. But I knew it was the money, plain and simple.

I still remember when I walked in on a fight she was having with her 'man of the day' on my ninth birthday. He was yelling about how she was incompetent as a mother and didn't deserve to breed. I didn't understand at the time that he was defending me and questioning the fact my mother left me home alone to care for myself. Not that I minded. I was pretty self-sufficient and was capable of using magic, but I guess I could understand where he was coming from.

"Anyway, I pushed my concerns to the back of mind, the alcohol making me too hazy to care. She started walking me back to her bedroom when we passed your door. I could hear a noise coming from inside, and my wolf made me stop. Do you remember that night?"

I suppress a shudder. I won't ever forget that night. It was the night I first got my period.

My mom had gone out for yet another date or night out, whatever she wanted to call it. I was home alone when it happened, and I had no idea what was going on. I resorted to calling one of the women who used to help take care of me when I was younger, and she walked me through what was happening to my body.

After the call, I showered and climbed into bed before curling up into a ball and crying for hours. The tears only stopped when Benji walked through my bedroom door.

My mother was nowhere in sight, and I assumed it was just another one of her drunk boyfriends thinking he could get a little mother-daughter action. I had summoned my magic, ready to defend myself when he asked, "Are you okay?"

Benji speaks, drawing me out of the memory. "I saw you in there, crying so hard you were having trouble breathing. Your mother, meanwhile, had walked away to the bedroom at the end of the hall and just left the door open as if expecting me to follow her blindly. Your cries sobered me up faster than any coffee would have. I opened your door and saw you trembling but with a fierce determination in your eyes, as if you thought my intentions were shady. This poor sweet girl who was obviously dealing with something, but still had enough iron will that I knew if I got too close, I'd end up with my ass handed to me." He grins over at me, and I roll my eyes.

Okay, so maybe I have anger issues, but he doesn't have to look so smug about it.

"I inhaled the scent of the room, and my wolf urged me closer because he knew what my brain had failed to catch on to. You were my mate. After I had made sure you were okay, I left to go speak with your mother. I knew she was a witch, so I figured she would be understanding about my predicament. That was not the case.

"She tried to seduce me, claiming that since you were underage, it wouldn't matter to you. But to us wolves, our mates are everything. When she finally realized I was serious, she gave me an ultimatum. If I wanted to see you and get to know you, I would have to pay her and keep my second nature from you.

"Usually, I would not let myself be so easily played, but I was twenty-five and had just met my mate. So, over those next six months, I visited you, took you out on things that were date like in nature but not so pushy as to make you feel awkward, and most of all we talked. I got to know you and felt myself falling hard for you. My wolf, however, was becoming unstable. He wanted to claim you, and since you didn't have any idea what I was or who I was to you, I decided to ask your mother’s permission to reveal myself.

"The night I left, it was because the pack called me. A wolf who lost his mate had gone rabid and started attacking humans. Since I was the only tracker we had, I needed to go back and deal with the situation before it got too out of hand.

"I met with your mother the night I flew out and told her that when I came back, I wanted to tell you exactly who you were to me and ask if you would come back to Virginia with me."

He takes a deep breath, and the mood goes from calm to tense in a nanosecond.

"Your mother called me a week later, the same day I was prepping to fly back to you and told me that you wanted nothing to do with me and that if I ever came near you, she would call the Order and claim I was trying to force a mating. Stupidly, I believed her because I thought you were hurt I lied about what I was, especially when I knew exactly what you were. But I thought, eventually, you would feel the pull of the mate bond. I made it clear that I wanted you to know you could come to me at any time if you wanted answers, but that I would respect your wishes and steer clear. And that leads us back to now.”

He smiles over at me and I feel the same skip my heart used to make and curse myself for being so pliable when it comes to Benji.

“When I saw you, I was so surprised, but also fucking elated. I thought you had finally decided to accept the mate bond, right up until the point your hand connected with my cheek." He grins wryly and I can see all is forgiven and he’s just teasing me.

I sit here silently, too stunned to speak. That's an awful lot of information to pile onto me, and while I had begun to calm before, my anger has reignited upon hearing this about my mother. How could she do that to me? I knew she was sick, but holy fucking hell, this is a whole new level of twisted.

For fuck’s sake, she charged my mate just to see me!

Whoa, my mate? Where did that thought come from? Benji remains silent at my side, and I'm grateful because I have no idea how to process that realization.

I had just gotten here and was looking forward to meeting the pack members to see if I could have a mate, only to find out I had one all along.

The thing is, while I now know he didn't exactly leave me, he didn't exactly come back, either. If the mate bond is so strong, how did he stay away from me all this time? Why did he not try and track me down as the years passed? The Order may be a powerful force to reckon with, but I would like to think if the situation was reversed, I would have done anything to make sure my mate was aware I still cared, not just disappear for nine years.

It's safe to say, there's still a lot I have to sort out.