Groaning, Tray pulled out of me. We’d gone another round before we heard pounding at the door.

Seriously?

“What?” Tray yelled angrily.

“Collins and Helms are going at it,” Grant said timidly. He knew full well what he was interrupting.

“For the—,” he cursed. “Go and break it up.”

“We got another situation.”

“What?”

“Um…Mandy’s locked herself in your parent’s bedroom. She won’t let anyone in.”

I let out a deep breath of air then started getting dressed. I called out, “I’ll be there in a little bit.”

Tray yawned widely, grabbing for his clothes.

“Hey,” I murmured a little uncertainly, “um…thanks for before. You know, with Gentley’s crew.”

He shrugged. “It’s not like the first time Pedlam’s come here and stirred up shit. Gentley’s usually harmless, at least with me, but he’s got it in him to be nasty, and he had that look tonight.”

“Oh.”

“Plus, I didn’t like how he was looking at you,” Tray murmured, leaving the room.

That surprised me. Neither of us had made any comment about…well…about us. The most we had even acknowledged is that we were screwing around—that was it. There were no emotional ties that went with a relationship, but his statement hinted at one—slightly. Then again, Tray was particularly cautious about anyone who didn’t live in Rawley. He considered Rawley his and from I’ve seen—it was.

Which still made me wonder how he’d accomplished that.

Gentley didn’t own Pedlam. He might run the school now, but he didn’t run the town. Jace ran everything else. And, I guess, Brian was trying to get some of that action. But Gentley never wanted to go against Jace. For one, Crispin was just a high school student. Jace had graduated a couple years back, but Jace got a world-class criminal education.

And Jace was just intelligent as hell. Gentley was not. Neither was Brian. They couldn’t match him.

But Tray.

Tray was different. He ran a different game, and I hadn’t figured it out yet. Not that I was actively trying to figure out his secrets. I really was trying to get out and live my life.

Which reminded me…Mandy.

It was much later in the night, but the party was still going strong. A lot of people were sitting outside at the patio tables, enjoying the night’s warmness. There was a slight breeze in the wind.

I grinned at Trent, seeing him at a table with Sasha on his lap. He flashed a smile at me before commenting to someone at the table they were sitting sat at. Amber was there too, with Bryce. Justin Travers was glaring at Trent, which—of course—didn’t even faze Trent.

Devon and Jasmine were there, wrapped around each other. Huh, guess the couple decided to go public.

Slipping through the hallway, I circled to the stairs and climbed upwards.

The place was just huge, which said a lot because it was currently crawling with people. I could just imagine it without people in every inch.

I spotted a large double door at the end of the hallway. They looked extravagant, so I figured I might’ve gotten the right room.

Plus, Honey was outside the door, speaking into it, “Can I get you anything, Mandy?”

No answer.

I moved to her side.

“Hey.” She looked up, standing up from kneeling. “She’s been in there for a while now. She won’t talk to anyone.”

“Where’s Carter?”

Honey shrugged, her wheat blonde hair falling off her shoulders. “I have no idea. Bit came and got me before. She went to see if Evans has any pizza. It’s worth a try, right?”

I grinned at their names. They’d kept using them.

I was struck by the sincerity in her voice. She was really nice. Like, actual nice. Not fake nice. Or trying to gain something nice.

“Mandy likes Canadian bacon and pineapple. If he doesn’t have any, you could just order. I’ll pay you back,” I offered.

“It’s worth a try.” Honey grinned shyly.

“What?” I asked, dumbly.

“I just thought it was hilarious. Jasmine’s about to go off on you and you just step in, cool. She backs off. It was priceless. I know it made my night.” She giggled softly.

So others felt the same way I did about Jasmine and her previous reign at Rawley.

“Mandy,” I knocked, “let me in.”

We heard sniffling a second later—Mandy must’ve gotten closer to the door—because she murmured, “Go back and have fun, Taryn. I’m just crying right now. I need some time alone.”

Okay, I was much more comfortable verbally sparring with someone than comforting someone. Being soothing? Nurturing? So not my forte. But I knew this is what Mandy needed and it was a skill that I eventually need to develop, sometime in my life.

“Mandy,” I said softly, “Grant came and got me so that means he was worried. I’m betting there’s a lot of people who are concerned. So let me in so I can do my sisterly-duty.”

“Taryn, seriously. Just go away.” She sniffed. Honey and I shared a look. Mandy wasn’t fooling us. Mandy needed attention and comfort twenty-four/seven.

Mandy was not a loner. No way in hell.

“Mandy, either let me in or I’ll break in. Your choice,” I said sweetly, rocking back on my heels.

Honey’s eyes went wide at my words, and even wider when the door opened a second later—revealing Mandy, swamped in a terry-cloth robe, her eyes swollen and puffy.

She took one look at me and I saw the break down. I moved in and wrapped my arms around her.

“Hey, hey,” I murmured softly, “it’s okay.”

“No it’s not,” she sobbed, clinging to me. “It’s not okay. It’s over. Me and Dev…we’re over.”

Oh. Understanding finally dawned on me. Mandy got through this past week because she thought she’d get back together with Devon at some point. She was allowed a little revenge fun and then…her and Devon would be okay again.

Okay. I could do this…I think.

I turned to Honey and gestured for her to shut the door. Which she did, with her on the inside, with us.

I was not the girl for this.

Honey must’ve seen my discomfort because she shifted to sit on the bed with us. She placed a hand to Mandy’s shoulder and murmured, “He was yours.”

Was that really helping?

Mandy sobbed harder.

Honey continued softly, “But that chapter has to close.”

Mandy kept crying.

“For you and him. It’s a new chapter. And you’ll have someone who’ll enter your chapter. But you have to let that last page end. Finish your chapter with Devon.”

Wow. This was even making sense to me. Brian and I had an entire set of books between the two of us. Maybe I needed to figure out where my new chapters were—with Pedlam friends, Geezer and Grayley, and with my new life. Shit—maybe Tray even needed to be included.

No. Not yet.

Honey was still murmuring to Mandy, “He was yours.”

Mandy turned to hug her instead. Honey wrapped her arms around her and propping her chin on Mandy’s shoulder, she whispered, “Four years. You guys were a part of each other. And now…he’s not a part of you anymore. It’s okay to not be okay with that. She won’t replace you. No matter what. She can’t go back to those four years and take your place. Those four years were yours.”

God. That’s what I’d been doing. I was so focused on moving forward, cutting all my ties—I’d just now started mending those with Grayley and Geezer again. But…a part of my identity had been with Brian.

And I’d been floundering because I hadn’t even realized it. That a part of me was missing. Or that I needed to figure out who I was again.

I realized my hands were fisting the bedcovers. I was trying to restrain myself to stay there. But every instinct I had in me was screaming for me to get the hell out of there. Just—run and hide.

Yeah. I confronted. I confronted when it was a battle that had to be done. But this stuff—this feeling stuff—I always ran the opposite way.

So I was forcefully keeping myself there. Anyway I could.

Mandy needed me. She, at least, needed my presence there.

So I stayed.

And I felt my insides tearing as I listened to Mandy’s suffering.

*

I was still really uncomfortable, but I hung in there. Mandy had cried—sobbed really—for most of the night. Honey had stayed with her. I’d laid back on the bed, content to say a few words every now and then. But Honey had done most of the heavy-lifting. Bit had even been granted access. At one point she helped Honey out and—of course—Mandy had cried even harder.

I’d persevered.

I probably aged a good twenty years because of it. But I stayed.

“What time is it?” Mandy asked, hoarsely.

“It’s, like, four in the morning,” Bit replied, sighing happily.

“Four in the morning?” Mandy gasped, sitting up. “I can’t believe it’s that late.”

“Just tell Mom and Dad what you always tell ‘em.” I suggested tiredly. Mandy usually told ‘em she’d crash at a girlfriend’s. She didn’t want them to be worried about her driving late at night. It always worked.

“Well, I know…and I already did. But still—we spent almost the entire party in here.”

“Tray had three kegs. And I’m pretty sure they were carrying in a fourth one when I came up here,” I murmured, yawning.

It was the best timing because we heard a knock at the door. A second later, Amber stuck her head in. “Hey.” She grinned, cautiously, at Mandy. Her eyes skimmed over Honey, Bit, and myself, but they lingered on Mandy. “Can I come in?”

Mandy took a deep breath and nodded. Soothing her hair back, she said, “Thanks, guys. I’ll be…I’ll be okay.”

I studied Amber intently, trying to figure out if she had intent to harm or foul.

Mandy sighed. “Taryn, leave her alone.”

So I did and followed behind Honey and Bit outside the door.

They were sharing a look when I closed the door behind me.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing,” Bit spit out, sounding irritated.

“What?”

“It’s just…this is how it always is.”

“What do you mean?” Seriously. I was clueless.

“They always get into a fight and one of them spends the entire party crying, locked in a room. We pick up the pieces—”

“Lori,” Honey interrupted hastily, looking at me uncomfortably.

“No,” Bit—Lori—cried out. “It’s so unfair. And then one of them shows up, after the party’s almost over, and tomorrow it’ll be like nothing ever happened. They’ll all be giddy and—”

Ah. Now I got it. These two girls were nice, but the problem is that they were too nice. They were social-climbers, just like Stephanie’s wannabes

I could, kind of, sympathize. Bit liked Bryce. I knew that, I could tell from the card game. And Honey—she was just nice and almost—too wholesome. These girls didn’t have enough bitch in them to climb that last rung on the ladder.

So they were nice to whichever ‘it’ girl was down and out. They were kind of—like Band-Aids. They were there to cover the wound, but the ‘it’ girl needed to show up to make things really alright. These two didn’t cut it, because…they weren’t one of the social elite.

I was pissed off at myself because I was feeling sympathy for these two—because they couldn’t get popular.

How trivial and annoying is that.

So, I said flatly, “Try being mean.”

“What?” Bit asked, confused. I’d checked out of their conversation a few seconds ago.

I shrugged, moving down the hallway. “You’re too nice. Be mean.”

I caught sight of Tray outside. He was sitting at the table with the rest. Trent was there with Sasha on his lap—still. I think the girl had to have a new lap to sit on whenever she sat down. She was probably worried her own would get bruised or flattened.

I know it’s irrational, but I didn’t like her. I could think whatever I wanted.

Jasmine and Devon had left. Thank God.

I caught Tray’s eyes for a second. His were unreadable, but I veered to his pool-house where I curled up in his bed, slipping underneath the covers. A second later I was asleep.

Blissfully.

I woke up later and checked the time. It was ten in the morning. I had a good six hours of sleep. Rolling over, I saw Tray asleep beside me, his head was turned my way and he had one hand on my leg.

How had I not noticed that?

I tried to get up without waking him to no avail. Tray’s eyes opened to small slits when he saw me moving across him.

He grabbed me and pulled me on top of him. “Hey.” He nuzzled my neck.

“Hi,” I whispered, inhaling his scent. The guy smelled good, even after a night of drinking. How screwed up is that?

“Where are you going?”

“Shower, breakfast, and then home.” I listed my destinations off.

“Okay.” He yawned, letting me go.

He flipped onto his stomach when I came back from the shower.

I finished dressing and saw in surprise that Tray had already slipped on a shirt without me knowing.

“Where are you going?” I asked, startled.

“Breakfast. With you,” he stated, grabbing a pair of pants.

“Oh.” I stood uncertainly as I waited for him to finish. I led the way outside, sighing when I saw a few people sleeping off their drunk on the patio loungers. Inside, they were spread out in the hallways and I caught a glimpse of more in one of the living rooms. The kitchen was already being invaded.

Mandy, Amber, Bryce, and Grant were finishing off a box of doughnuts. Honey was awake, sitting at the table. Alone.

Mandy giggled, trying to hide her doughnut behind her hand.

Amber giggled at that and then they both dissolved into laughter.

Honey and Bit had been right.

“Hey, dude,” Grant called out, shoving the box our way. “Carter went for treats.”

Tray leaned forward to inspect what was left and I bypassed them to sit down beside Honey.

“Hey,” I greeted easily, biting back a yawn.

“Hi,” she said gratefully.

“Where’d you sleep last night?”

She shrugged, looking away. But I caught the brief glance she’d sent over my shoulder. Following it, I saw that it landed on Bryce, who was currently devouring his second doughnut, grinning at Tray’s curse that they’d taken all the good ones.

Hmmm.

Bit liked Bryce.

I wasn’t stupid. She had a guilt-ridden, one-night-stand look. It seems like Honey had hooked up with Bryce after I’d left.

“Where’s…Lori? Bit.”

Honey flushed, crossing her arms over her chest. “She went home last night.”

“Right,” I said dryly.

“She did.”

Whatever. I was going to push straight through. I leaned forward and asked directly, “She know about you and Bryce?”

Honey paled at my words, seemingly shrinking back into her chair. I guess that would be a no.

“You should come clean. Tell her why you did what you did,” I said shortly. “Because next time you’re at a party, Bryce is gonna remember that you were the girl he hooked up with once. He’ll come sniffing around again and he’s not going to care who’s around or who’s going to hear him. Bit’s gonna care and you’ll be down one friend.”

“What are you…why…?” she faltered, taken aback.

“Look, I’m just trying to save you from a lot of extra drama. If you come clean, Bit will understand. Unlike Mandy, I don’t have a case of selective amnesia with whoever’s higher in the popularity status…you guys were both there for my sister. That means something to me and I’d hate to have you guys get sucked up in this kind of drama. You guys seem solid as friends. That’s a good thing. You need friends—good friends.”

“Hey, Taryn,” Bryce greeted, plopping down in the chair next to mine, throwing an arm around my shoulder. “Where oh where did you disappear to last night?”

“You’re an asshole,” I said simply, shrugging his arm off.

“What?” he sputtered, more startled than insulted.

“You’re an asshole,” I said again, pissed. “Do you not even know that you might end a best friendship? Or did you know and you just don’t give a damn?”

“Excuse me?” he huffed, now starting to get pissed. “What the hell are you—?”

“You’re trying to get a piece of me last night. That didn’t work. You knew this other girl at the game liked you. So what do you do? You hook up with her best friend. All because you think you have some God-given right.”

“Hey, it’s not on me what she did or if her friend likes me—” he started to argue.

I stood up and said simply, “Yes, it is. It’s called being responsible and just being a decent human being.”

Sasha and Trent chose that moment to walk into the kitchen. Sasha took one look at us and immediately glared.

Trent took one look and left, heading the opposite way.

I grabbed my purse and left behind him. “Trent,” I called out, hurrying to catch up with him.

“Taryn, you deserve half the shit that’s thrown your way. You know that, right?” he mused, waiting for me.

“How do you figure?” I grinned.

“You could choose better battles, you know.”

“I know. I just…get so mad.”

“And that’s what usually ends you in deeper shit than you can tread,” Trent noted.

“Yeah, but I don’t care.”

“Yeah, but you care about a few of them.” He stopped, staring at me. “And that’s why you should pick your battles. All your words, they get washed over them, you know. Don’t get me wrong, way I got it, that Evans guy can handle anything you send his way. But your sister, she’s just another one of those kids that you claim you hate.”

“Alright. Fine. Picking better battles, check,” I said cockily, tilting my head. “You going to see Geezer today?”

We’d reached his truck and he opened the door. Climbing in, he murmured, “Maybe. I don’t know.”

“I was thinking of coming out.”

“I think you should stay put,” Trent said bluntly.

“Why?”

“Because you’re at the end of Grayley’s rope. Just give him space.” Then he started the engine, shut his door, and roared off down the road.

Not many people could leave me standing speechless with my mouth hanging open.

Trent had that effect.

So did Grayley.

Probably why I considered them friends.

*

The rest of the day passed without event, thank God. Shelley and Kevin had both politely asked how my friend from Pedlam was doing. I filled them in, for the most part.

Mandy returned home later that afternoon. She showered, changed clothes, grabbed her book bag, and had headed back out.

I had been laying on my bed, listening to my iPod. During a break between songs I heard Amber’s voice outside the window. Rolling over, I saw Amber was outside in her car. Bryce and Grant were also with them.

Then Mandy walked down the hallway and was outside in a second. I heard her call out, “See you later, Mom. I’ll call later, but I’ll probably be out for dinner.”

Figures. Mandy was tight with Amber again. She’d want to make sure it stayed that way.

I rolled back over onto my back and thumbed the volume up.

After a little while, I’d gotten up, checked my email, and finished up my homework. Now I was bored—which is sad.

Spying my swimsuit, remembering the feeling of swimming yesterday, I grabbed a bag and packed it. Slipping on some flip-flops, I called out, “I’m going swimming.”

“What was that, honey?” Shelley came out, smiling warmly.

“I’m going to go for a swim. I think the school has a pool I can use.”

“Oh yes! That’d be wonderful. Hold on, let me grab my own suit. I’ll come with you.”

What…the…oh hell.

My new mother was coming swimming with me. Not my idea of me time.

Emerging from the hallway, she had a bright smile on, and called out cheerfully, “Okay, honey. Let’s go.”

Shelley drove and I sat in silence. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. The nice thing was that she knew where the pool was, where to park, and which doors to take.

Turning the car off, Shelley explained, “I used to be a swimmer. So any excuse I have to slip on the old suit, I’m happy for!”

Nice.

“When’d you learn how to swim, Taryn?” she asked.

“When I went to Earlington.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Shelley exclaimed, “you were on the swim team, weren’t you? I remember reading that in your file. I was so excited. I thought for sure you’d try out here, but I didn’t want to push you.”

“Yeah.”

“You were on the varsity team, weren’t you?”

“No,” I said hastily, “I was on J.V. I didn’t make it to varsity.”

“Still,” she said proudly, “you were in the seventh grade. That’s quite an accomplishment. Especially for Earlington. They’ve been the state championships for the past twenty two years. They have an excellent program. I’m sure you’d have no problem making varsity now. Taryn, you could maybe even get a scholarship for school.”

Okay. Too fast.

“Uh…I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Shelley was back-pedaling, “whatever makes you happy, Taryn.” She put her hand on my arm. “But I must tell you, I’m extremely excited that we’ve found this bond between us.”

The uneasy feeling disappeared the second I walked out and saw the sparkling Olympic-sized pool.

I chose the second highest diving board and performed a tuck, slicing through the water and smoothly cutting through the water to do it again.

It felt like home. God, I’d missed this.

I didn’t notice Shelley at all. She might’ve been watching for a while, but I caught a glimpse of her later on. She was doing laps in the lanes.

I stayed with the diving board for another good hour before I moved on to swimming laps.

It felt right. I let myself enjoy it and pushed harder through the water.

Pulling myself out of the pool, an hour later, I sighed happily. I had missed that, and pushing through the doors, I vowed that I’d keep at it. Who knows. Maybe I would try out for the team.

Shelley was beaming at me the entire drive home. Pulling into the driveway, she cut the engine, but stayed put.

“What?” I asked, resigned to whatever she had on her mind.

“You blew me away, Taryn. I have to tell you that. You really blew me out of the water,” she giggled, “but…I just think it’s a waste of talent if you don’t try out for the team. You’ve already missed most of this year, but you could still practice with the team. Get to know them. Train with ‘em in the off-season. You could be more than ready to compete by next fall. And we could get some scouts to come and watch you.”

“Shelley,” I said, “I…I don’t know…maybe.”

Shelley grinned, just giddy, as we walked through the door and inside.

I stopped, seeing Amber and Jasmine in the kitchen with Mandy. Grant and Bryce were sitting on the counters, each with a bag of chips.

“Hey, guys,” Shelley called out, “I’ve missed seeing the old crew.”

I beat a hasty retreat.

Pick my battles. It’s what I had to do. Even if it meant biting my lip the entire evening—or staying locked in my room.

Stripping out of my wet clothes, I showered, and dressed.

I felt good, strong, as I fell onto my bed, my hand reaching for my iPod.

A little while later I heard a soft knock at my door, and called out, “Come in.”

Mandy poked her head around the door, a small smile on her face. “Hey.”

I sat up and leaned against my headboard, “Hi.”

She came in and closed the door. She sat at the end of my bed uncertainly. “Mom said you guys went swimming together.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good. I mean…you could join the team.”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Mom said you’re really good. Like, really, really good. You could get a scholarship, maybe.”

“Yeah.”

Could she stop beating around the bush?

“Um…” Mandy fell silent, glancing around the room.

“I don’t get it,” I said bluntly. “Amber treated you like shit and now you’re friends with her and Jasmine again?”

She sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s not like that. I mean…I’ve been friends with Amber and Jaz for—forever.” She shrugged. “I have to forgive ‘em sometime.”

“No,” I spoke, “you don’t.”

“Taryn.”

“Mandy, you don’t. Look, you and me, we’re cool. We have to be, we’re sisters. But Amber, Bryce, Jasmine—no. I don’t want anything to do with them. They treated my sister like shit.”

“Bryce didn’t.”

“No. He treated a girl that listened to you cry for hours last night like a sex toy and we both know it. He used her and discarded her—knowing full well that her best friend has a thing for him and knowing full well that she’d let him use her because she wants to be popular.” I stood up. “I think it’s disgusting.”

“Like you’re any better,” Mandy cried, standing up. “You judge—you judge my friends.”

“You’re right. I left my friends behind when I moved here, but I’m trying to make up for it. So give me a break with that. But I’m not like you guys with how you use people. You take advantage of them.”

“And if they were us, they’d do exactly the same thing. They’d be taking advantage of us.”

“It doesn’t make it right,” I clipped out. Standing firm in my belief.

Mandy left and I heard the door click shut, the sound echoing in my head.

Maybe life would be easier if I just avoided it.