Chapter Twenty-Eight

AMELIA

I’m about to sit down with a pot—yes, pot—of mac and cheese when there is a loud knocking at my front door. Taking a look at the time on my phone, I realize it’s entirely too late for visitors, so I take my pot of freshly made Kraft Mac and Cheese with me to the door in case I need to use it as a weapon. Cautiously I walk up to the door and look through the peephole, and when I see Amanda waiting impatiently on the other end, I relax.

“Amanda, what are you doing here?” I ask, opening the door.

She plows right by me and starts looking around the room like a crazy person, her jacket flapping with her movements. “Where is it?”

“Where is what?” I ask, closing the door. What the heck is my best friend is doing in my house late on a Friday night when she lives hours away?

“Ah ha!” Amanda holds up my phone as if she’s just won a trophy. “I knew you had a phone, I just knew it. I thought to myself, ‘You know, Amanda. I’m pretty sure Amelia has a phone so you’re not sending her texts into the Interweb. There is an actual landing base for them.’” She holds my phone out to me and continues, “And look, there it is.” Okay, she’s angry. I may not have messaged her back for a few days. “So can you explain to me, Amelia, why the hell you haven’t been answering me? Hmm?”

Unsure what to do, I hold out the pot in my hands and cutely ask, “Mac and cheese?”

Sighing, Amanda reaches for the pot and says, “I’m not a barbarian. Of course I’ll take some mac and cheese. But you better tell me what the hell is going on, and why I had to drive all the way here to get in touch with you.”

Knowing this is going to be a long conversation, I tell her to make herself comfortable and go into my kitchen for an extra bowl, spoon, and drinks. Looks like my plan to stay away from the outside world has come to an end. It’s time to face the music.

Amanda has her shoes and jacket off and her legs propped on my coffee table when I make it back to the living room. She’s eating the mac and cheese like a fiend from the wooden spoon I used to make it, and she follows my every move until I’m sitting right in front of her.

As if I’m begging for food from a snarling wildebeest, I hold out my bowl. She eyes my bowl and puts half a scoop in the middle. She points the spoon at me and says, “That’s all you’re getting until you start speaking.”

Yup, I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. It never is with Amanda.

I eat the little scoop then set the bowl on my lap while I lean back on my couch. “I don’t know if you’re ready for this.”

“Try me. There isn’t much I haven’t heard,” Amanda answers, mouth full.

“Trey, do you remember him?”

Amanda rolls her eyes at me. “Don’t be a dick about this, just tell me for fuck’s sake. I have zero patience right now.”

I smile to myself and continue, “Trey is Aaron’s biological brother.”

Amanda pauses the spoon that’s headed for her mouth midair, her eyes widening and her jaw dropping. “Excuse me?”

“They’re brothers. Trey and Aaron, they are brothers.”

Slowly Amanda puts the spoon in the pot and sets it to the side. “You were dating two brothers, like . . . two brothers.”

I nod, still unable to comprehend the entire thing myself.

Amanda holds up her hands and shuts her eyes for a brief moment. “I’m going to need you to start from the very beginning, because I feel like my mind is about to explode.”

I spend the next few minutes retelling her everything that happened in the last two weeks from my slow restart with Aaron, to our visit with Dad, to the night we had sex—which Amanda made me share in detail—to the morning after when I found out Trey and Aaron are brothers, to Trey’s gut-wrenching pleas to get me back.

“Wow . . . just wow.” Amanda leans back on the sofa, her eyes staring at the ceiling. “I mean, what are the odds of that happening?” She grips the couch. “And Aaron knew all along?”

“Yeah. Well . . . when I think back about it, I caught him looking at a picture of Trey and me that I had on my mantel. He knew for a while.”

“And never said anything to you.” I shake my head. “Well, that’s fun,” Amanda says sarcastically.

“It’s not. It’s not fun at all.”

“What would you have done if you had known?” Yep, she nails it. That’s one of the many questions that have run through my mind since the whole thing happened.

“I’m not sure.”

“Yet, you’ve made it the reason for rejecting Aaron. Interesting.” I have no answer to that one either.

“Okay, so you find out they’re brothers, what happened after that?” I’m thankful she’s trying to get her head around this with me. I don’t feel so alone.

Aaron’s sorrowful face pops up in my head. “Trey lost it when he found out Aaron was the Aaron, so he punched Aaron in the face. Aaron threatened to retaliate but then backed off, muttered an apology to me, and took off.” I swallow hard. “He has yet to return.”

“He hasn’t come back home?” I shake my head.

“He ran?”

“Yup.”

Amanda mulls that over as she takes a sip of her drink, eyes still cast to the ceiling. “Okay, so where do you stand? Is Trey moving here?”

“I have no idea.”

Amanda waves me off. “And what about Aaron? Are you in love with him?”

“It doesn’t matter if I am or not. He ran again, Amanda. How can I trust him anymore?”

“Valid answer. I guess.” Amanda nods. “But that’s not what I asked you. I asked if you’re in love with him.”

Am I in love with Aaron? Two days ago I believed I was. He knows me. He loves my dad. The absent man now is not the confident, caring, invested man I spent the last week with. The man who asked me to take my time, then ravish me throughout the night, is incredible. Where is he?

God . . .

I nod, my lips pressed tightly together.

“It’s obvious that you do, sweetie.” Amanda leans forward and pats my hand. “You love Trey, but you’re in love with Aaron.” She squeezes my hand as the truth of my feelings are pulled from deep within me and thrown on the table, smacking me dead in the chest. “What’s holding you back with Aaron, from going and getting him?”

“He lied, Amanda, he lied and then left, just like the first time. I can’t . . .” I choke on a sob that gets caught in my throat. “I can’t keep going through this cycle. He says all these things like he loves me, that he will never hurt me again, and then the next freaking day, he’s standing there, unable to make eye contact with me. I don’t know where I stand.” I wipe a tear away. “My heart can’t take any more disappointment.” I take a deep breath. “It’s why I’ve considered talking to Trey. Maybe he’s changed. I can be on my own. This isn’t about that. As long as I don’t have to move away, I can—” I can what?

Amanda scoots forward and clears her throat while her hand stays on my knee. “You and I both know that’s not what you really want. Trey is a good man, but he isn’t the man who will truly fulfill you.” Taking a second to think cautiously, Amanda asks, “Have you ever thought to put yourself in Aaron’s shoes?”

Unsure of where Amanda is going with this, I say, “No.”

“Think about it for a second, Amelia. We’re talking about Aaron here. He broke up with you because he wanted you to have a better life, he wanted you to pursue your dreams, and he knew if he stuck around, you weren’t going to go after that scholarship in New York City. Should he have talked to you about it instead of pushing you away and taking off, maybe, but in his head, he was doing the right thing. Flash forward three years, he still loves you, he is genuine and wants nothing more than to make you happy. You find out about his family, he opens up about his mom, his childhood. He makes it known he will always love you and do anything to make you happy. He finds out you’re dating his brother, the one man he knows he can’t compete with, the one man who’s always had more than him. If I were him, I wouldn’t have told you either. Aaron is a self-conscious man with all the confidence in the world, which doesn’t make much sense, but if you know the man you know what I’m talking about. On the outside, he exudes confidence, but on the inside, he’s still a little boy, comparing himself to his brothers, his mom’s constant nagging about being like his brothers on repeat in his head.”

My mind is racing, Amanda’s thoughts connecting the dots I neglected to acknowledge.

“I don’t blame him for not telling you, and I can see why he didn’t. He didn’t want you comparing him to Trey. Without you knowing, you were comparing two men, but if he told you, then it would be comparing two brothers, and he’s had to deal with that his entire life, thanks to his mom. And you did exactly what he imagined. Rejected him immediately and turned to Trey to see if there is a better offer on the table for you there. My guess? Aaron assumed there was no use staying around, because you would choose Trey again over him. You did on Thanksgiving, and you did the other day. How much rejection does he need to take, Amelia?”

I push my hand through my hair, a light bulb switching on in my head. “Oh my God, Amanda, you’re right.”

“I know I am,” Amanda answers with confidence. “And when he saw how hurt you were, how upset you were, he probably believed that was it, the final nail in the coffin of your brittle relationship. He’s a broken man, Amelia, who loves you dearly. And that’s why he let you go because in his mind, he thinks you deserve more. I will tell you right now, that breaks my heart. For such a larger-than-life, gorgeous, and selfless man, years of unjust rejection and self-loathing have beaten him down to a small, fractured man on the inside. And that is a tragedy.”

I’ve been so blind. Everything Amanda is saying makes all the sense in the world, and I feel sick to my stomach. Aaron, sweet, passionate, insecure Aaron. I was so caught up in the past repeating itself I didn’t take time to see the situation from his eyes.

“I can see you’re trying to figure out what you want to do. I think this is a moment where you should channel your dad and use his mantra, Amelia. So what? Aaron loves you. Can you say so what to his faux pas?” Amanda waves her finger at my head. “Do you want him back? Do I need to get some cue cards so you can pull a Love Actually moment?” I don’t really deserve him.

“I don’t know.” I press my hand against my forehead trying to think. “I don’t even know where he is, if he’s okay or not. The last I saw him was when he took off with blood dripping down his face. What if he drove off into some ditch, I would have no idea.”

“Well, that seems like an exaggeration, so let’s not go there. Could he be at a friend’s house? Maybe it’s too hard for him to be around you. And, before you ask, you know what to do about Trey.” Unfortunately, I do and I’m immediately hit with dread.

“Tucker did stop by his house that night. He had a bag with him when he left Aaron’s house.”

“There you go. Aaron is clearly staying with Tucker. Now that we know he’s not in a ditch, I want to know, do you want him back?”

I slowly nod my head. “I think I can be angry all I want at him, but when it comes down to it, I will always be in love with him, and I don’t think that’s a feeling I can ever shake.” And he shouldn’t be alone anymore. He deserves to be loved and nurtured, even more than he has loved and nurtured me.

“Yeah. You were made for each other. You ground him, and he sets you free. And that man, with the broken soul, he needs your love, Amelia. He needs your love more than you need his. Your souls were meant to be together, to help each other heal, and to guide one another through this crazy world. I know you’re scared, but he’s terrified, terrified of losing the one thing he ever cared about. Be with him, Amelia. Take the leap, and be with him.”