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I could barely think. I was grateful Lily offered to drive. I didn’t deserve her as a sister. She kept her head together when I was losing mine. Why did it feel as though my entire life was crumbling around me? And if it was, why did I feel so incredibly alive every time Charlie looked at me? I didn’t understand this contradiction. It felt as though I was being tugged in two directions and it was difficult to figure out what I really felt about, well, anything.

I was worried about my mother, but I was elated at Charlie’s generosity.

The drive to the hospital was short. Or maybe I was thinking too much to realize how much time had passed. Either way, I hadn’t realized much of anything until Lily and I were walking through the sliding glass doorways of Seattle General.

Lily went to talk to the receptionist while I hung behind. I wasn’t good at talking to people at all unless I had a camera between us, much less when I was feeling a variety of emotions I didn’t understand. Guilt started swimming inside of me at having felt happy about Charlie even after finding out my mother had fallen.

I was going to Hell.

“This way,” Lily called to me. She nodded her head in the direction of the elevator and I followed her. “Sixth floor. Recovering. The doctor will tell us more when we get there.”

“She’s not in the ER?” I asked.

“Moved her because of her condition,” she explained. She reached out and pressed the up button. “Wanted to keep her a few days for observation.”

“So she might not come home for a couple of days?” I asked. “That might buy us time to get the house in order.”

Lily said nothing but nodded her head once.

We stepped into the cold elevator, silent and pensive. I didn’t know what to expect and I didn’t know how to prepare myself, whatever it was. When we stepped out, I took Lily’s hand. She looked at me in surprise, but she didn’t shake it off.

The sixth floor had a nurse station right next to the elevators. A nurse picked her head up and offered us a smile.

“Are you here for Martha Collins?” she asked.

“Yes,” Lily said. I squeezed her hand when I heard her voice shake. I hadn’t realized how close she and my mom were, even when my mom was at a distance.

“Room six fifteen, straight down and to the right,” the nurse said. “She’s expecting you.”

Both Lily and I gave each other odd looks but we said nothing. Instead, we proceeded to head down the long hallway, taking the nurse’s advice. It made no sense to us that our mother was expecting us. She hardly remembered she had children in the first place. However, we were not going to question the nurse and we just wanted to ensure that our mother was okay.

The first thing we noticed was the television was on. Besides her favorite telenovelas, my mother did not watch television and preferred reading when her eyes were up for it. At first, Lily and I both thought we had the wrong room or that the nurse sent us to the wrong place. We still walked in, on the off chance that our mother was in here, and we were surprised to find that she was. When we walked in, she beamed at both of us.

“Lily,” she said. “Alex. I feel as though I haven’t seen you in ages!”

To say we were both floored would be an understatement.

My mother knowing one of our names was a small miracle. Knowing both of us, looking at us like we were hers and she missed us, was not something I expected to see ever again. I was so pissed I didn’t think to bring my camera, but luckily, I had my phone and I snapped a picture of her just so I had evidence that she remembered me.

“What’s happening?” I asked Lily.

“Maybe the fall?” Lily guessed.

I didn’t know. Maybe I didn’t care. All that I could see was I had my mom back, at least temporarily, and I did not want to waste this time. Lily and I sat on the foot of her bed. It was small and uncomfortable for both of us but we managed to squeeze together tightly. We didn’t care. We just wanted to bask in Mom. To remember the moment.

“Alex,” she explained when I slid my phone back into my pocket. “Will you ever stop taking pictures and enjoy the moment?”

I chuckled. “Yes, Mom,” I told her.

“Good.” She glanced at Lily before resting her eyes on me. “Do you have any women who might one day bear my future grandchild?”

This time, I laughed. I told her all about Charlie. Everything I could think of. I wanted Mom to remember her as well as I did. I told her about her blonde hair and blue eyes, her slender body, her long legs, how when she wore heels she was taller than I was. I told her I was falling for her. I told her I couldn’t stop taking pictures of her. I told her she was older and she kept me in line. I told her I could see us having children at some point. I told her I knew it was early, but I wanted to marry her. At the end of my long speech, my mother was crying tears of happiness, her hand clutching my own.

“It’s so good to hear you speak so passionately, Alex,” she said. “The only time I’ve heard you talk like that was about your photos.” She smiled, taking me in, as though she knew she was going to forget me soon and wanted to make sure she remembered me for as long as she could. “Here.” She fiddled with something on her hand and before I knew what she was doing, she took her engagement ring and dropped it in the palm of my hand. “Your grandfather’s mother gave this to him as a way to show him he had his blessing marrying me. When you’re ready, I want you to give this to Charlie.”

I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my face if I tried. “Thanks, Mom,” I murmured. “I will.” Hopefully soon.