The next morning, Eva woke to the sound of music playing in the nearest bathroom. Filipe was no longer lying next to her. By the time she got up and dressed, the music had stopped. A door in the hallway opened. She saw Filipe walk out. He was wrapped in a towel. Memories from the morning after their first night together came flooding back.

“Do you have a business meeting?” Eva asked. “Is a chauffeur about to knock at the door?”

Filipe turned to her and smiled. It didn’t meet his eyes like it had the night before. But it was genuine, all the same. He was still with her, at least partially.

“No,” he said. “But I do have to leave in an hour or so. You’re welcome to stick around.”

“No, it’s okay,” Eva said. “I think I’d better get home.”

“I have a fresh set of clothes for you on the dining room table,” he said.

“You didn’t have to do that,” she replied, though she was secretly delighted. She’d been dreading another walk of shame.

“Like I said, I want you to be comfortable.”

“Thanks, Filipe,” Eva said sincerely. “That means a lot.”

“Can I make you breakfast?”

“That’s all right,” she replied. “I’m not very hungry.”

“Are you okay?”

“I am,” she said. She wasn’t lying, either. This was exactly the kind of hookup that she could handle. One that ended cordially.

Except this one could also end with a baby.

She headed toward the dining room and picked up the clothes, once again surprised how similar his and her tastes were. She dressed in the nearest bathroom. When she finished, she found Filipe in the kitchen.

“I made you a sandwich to go,” he said.

“Thank you,” Eva said, taking the bag he’d left on the counter. “You really didn’t have to do all this.”

“I want to do nice things for you, Eva,” he said. “I have a car ready for you downstairs, whenever you’re ready.”

“I don’t even have to hail a cab? Good deal.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Filipe said. “I don’t want you hailing cabs or taking the subway anymore. They’re dirty and dangerous. From now on, Joseph is at your disposal. I’ve already given him your cell phone number. He’ll give you his card when he drops you off.”

“Is this an offer, or a requirement?”

“Which answer is more likely to get you to use it?”

“An offer.”

“Then it’s an offer,” he said. “Besides, why take the subway or a cab when you can hang out with Joseph?”

Eva smiled.

“I guess I can’t argue with that.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, Filipe. Thank you.”

Eva took the elevator downstairs. Joseph was already waiting for her.

The drive home seemed shorter than before. Maybe that was because Eva felt like she was walking on water. She bid Joseph goodbye, slipped his card into her wallet, and practically ran up the stairs. Once inside her apartment, she placed her sandwich on the counter and flopped onto her queen-sized bed.

“This is the life,” she said to herself.

At what cost?

There was a knock at the door. Eva groaned.

“Come on, Filipe,” she grumbled. “Enough flowers and chauffeurs, already.”

She opened the door to find a rent overdue notice taped onto it.

“Oh,” she whispered.

She brought the notice inside. She had more than enough money to pay the bill. But, for whatever reason, her mood was deflating. Was it right—feeling like she could walk on water—when, in reality, she was selling her child for a life of freeloading?

But that wasn’t true. She wasn’t going to freeload forever. A million dollars wasn’t a fortune. But it would give her a serious head start. Besides, she wasn’t selling her child. She was allowing her child’s father to raise it alone. In return, she was going to start a life of her own. Was that so wrong?

Eva opened her laptop and logged on to her bank account so she could wire transfer her landlord the rent money immediately.

“Oh my God,” she breathed when she saw the balance.

The number had increased by five hundred thousand dollars.

Eva snatched her phone and immediately called Filipe.

“Hello?”

“Filipe, what the hell are you doing?” Eva asked. “You said the first half comes after conception.”

“I didn’t know about your job then,” Filipe said. “Conception could take months. I’m not going to leave you hanging. And, quite honestly, I don’t want you working. If that means paying you early, I’m okay with that.”

“Well, thanks,” she replied. “I hope I’m still allowed to be active though. There are things I’m going to want to do.”

“You don’t have to clear everything with me,” he assured her. “I just want you to be as comfortable as possible throughout this process.”

For my sake, or the baby’s sake?

But Eva didn’t open that can of worms.

“Okay,” she said. “I had a nice time with you last night.”

“Me too,” Filipe said, although he sounded distant.

“Any idea when I’ll see you again?”

“Not for a while,” he said. “I’ve been called back to Europe for a family engagement. It could be a few weeks before I’m back in the city. Maybe a little longer.”

“Really?” Eva asked. “When are you leaving?”

“In an hour,” he said. “I just found out, myself.”

“Oh,” she said. “I guess, if you have to go, you have to go.”

“I do,” he said. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

He hung up.

Eva’s good mood was completely gone now.

She sat on her new bed sullenly. It was hard to admit, even to herself, but she was going to miss him.

Maybe that was okay. Maybe this would give her time to think things through—to decide whether or not she really wanted to give her baby away.

You’ve already make this decision.

But maybe she hadn’t. Was this what life was going to be like? He’d been present last night. In fact, he’d been more than present. He’d been honest and open and happy. And now, he was gone again. And he would be gone for weeks.

Even if she didn’t change her mind, he might. In a way, she was relieved he’d already sent the money. Maybe he’d never come back. And, if she was already pregnant, she’d be left high and dry.

After all, there was no guarantee she was ever going to see or hear from him again. He had no obligation to her. There was no contract.

Eva realized she’d never been more confused over a man in her life. Sometimes, she thought it was abundantly clear that Filipe had feelings for her. He called her beautiful. He made her dinner. He told her she was special. He really seemed to understand her.

Then, the next minute, he was emotionally unavailable and cold. Which version of him was an act? And would her child get the same treatment?

She wished she could ask Filipe for the answers, but she knew he wouldn’t provide them. He probably wasn’t sure himself.

“What am I going to do for a few weeks?” Eva asked herself, realizing she was completely alone.

She thought about spending some of her money, but found herself oddly unable to do it. She needed new sheets and a comforter for her bed. She also needed to go grocery shopping. Yet, in her mind, the money was tainted.

Eva sighed.

She was going to keep seeing Filipe after he came back. She was going to get pregnant. She was going to have the baby and give it up. After that, she’d probably never see him again. It was that simple.

The sooner she stopped playing pretend, the easier this would all become.

You’re not in love with him, Eva insisted to herself. So, shake it off.

Except that, despite her best efforts to pretend otherwise, she was.

And there was nothing she could do about it.