Chapter Twenty-two
Madison
Just like every other day in my first week of work, Logan loitered around the foyer of Crovens, waiting for me to arrive. He nodded with approval at my smart business attire—tea-colored skirt, a cream top with an olive scarf twisted artfully around my neck.
“Nice. Very nice.”
Was I imagining it, or had his eye lingered somewhere just below my neck line?
I hid my frown. “Professional chic. I want to look the part. Not that I’m playing,” I added as he finally dragged his gaze higher.
Unabashed, a grin of appreciation slid over his face. I sighed. So not going there. I wasn’t naive enough to believe Logan had arranged this job out of pity—he wouldn’t know the word if it fell out of the dictionary and slapped him upside the head—but I expected a degree of professionalism.
“I’m here to work. Remember?” I threw a quick look at the reception area, but Megan was busy and not taking any notice of us.
“Yeah. I remember.” Logan drew out another lingering look. “Has anyone cottoned on to you yet? He pulled out his trademark grin. “I mean, seriously, Mads, it’s not like you know what you’re doing.”
I stiffened as he shortened my name. He knew I hated that.
“So far, it’s just been a matter of organization.” I eyed him coolly. “That’s what I am good at. Organizing charity events, ensuring everything is there, the catering, the entertainment, the seating arrangements. Working for Noah is similar.”
“Yes, building a modern marvel of the structural world is just like a charity event.” Logan stopped short of rolling his eyes.
“You know what I mean.” I huffed. “It’s about keeping everyone happy. You should try negotiating wedding plans with my mother, then you’ll know what I mean.”
“I’d rather not be reminded of the fact we were supposed to marry.” The grin slid off Logan’s face and he shot me a brooding look. “I fucked up. I get it.”
I ducked my head, not sure if he meant it or whether he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear. This last week, Logan had been surprisingly sweet. Then again, I’d thought he’d been genuine about our relationship too, and look how that had turned out.
“I’ve got to get to work.” I gathered my bag closer, stretching my mouth into a practiced smile.
Logan just sat there, head tilted appraisingly. “It’s like you’re this person I don’t know.”
“I’m the same old me,” I assured him. Wishing I wasn’t. Wishing I didn’t give a shit what other people thought…that I didn’t spend so long preparing the façade I presented to the outside world.
“No, you’re not.” Logan leaned forward until he was bare inches away. “Neither of us are. We’ve both changed.”
“Don’t, Logan.” I shut the door on that particular conversation. My brittle mask was barely holding as it was. I smoothed my hair, my hands shaking.
“Okay. We won’t talk about this now, but there will be a time. I promise you.” Logan warned. Then his mouth curved into a smile as if the last five minutes hadn’t just happened. “How about I take you out for dinner tonight? My treat.”
“Ironic really, when you’ll be using my allowance to pay for it.”
Logan pulled out a boyish grin and shrugged.
I swallowed a sigh. The more I knocked him back, the more his interest seemed to flourish. He took the mere fact of my being here as an invitation. But, what could I do? This job was exactly what I needed. My mother might accept my change in life plans eventually, but what she wouldn’t accept was me working in some divey café, waiting tables or pouring beer for the unwashed masses.
This job was my only chance at persuading her I could look after myself. My only chance to prove to Cole that I could make it on my own and that I didn’t need him to look after me. Maybe then he’d see me for who I was trying to be.
Would the real M St. James please stand up?
All I needed was to get through the next few months, update my résumé and get a job somewhere else…
“Madison? What the hell…?”
I spun around, my bag falling from numb fingers.
Cole stood by the door, fists clenched at his sides, his face cold and uncompromising. My heart dropped further.
Why hadn’t I told him? It’d been too easy to pretend not telling him was okay when he wasn’t here. But it wasn’t. One look at his face told me that.
“Cole.” I swallowed. “I-I didn’t know you were back.”
“Clearly.” Something dark flashed in his eyes as he glanced from me to Logan and back again. Then he dropped his head and turned away.
“Madison, what’s going on?” Logan asked, his gaze arrowing in on Cole’s retreating back.
Shit. “Cole. Wait!”
Ignoring Logan, I rushed after Cole, heart thudding in my chest. If he left now, I would never get another chance. I grabbed his arm in desperation, almost tripping when he stopped. He looked at me with such a chill in his eyes I almost let go. Almost.
“Madison!” Logan barked from behind me.
I didn’t turn back. My fingers tightened reflexively on Cole’s. His face was set, cold and drawn with lines of anger. And sadness. My chest constricted. I’d done this to him.
“Please.” I pleaded.
The stairwell sat just a few feet to the right and I tugged Cole toward it. At first he seemed immovable, but then he followed, giving me the barest glimmer of hope.
We cleared the door and Cole pushed past, yanking free of my hold as if my very touch offended him. The door closed behind me with a discordant thud and a swish of air.
I leaned against it, fooling myself I could block his escape. Cole gripped the railing of the landing with both hands, staring down toward the bottom of the stairwell as if it held all the answers. He could still race off down the stairs if he wanted to, but I would chase him…I glanced down at my five-inch heels.
Even if it killed me.
He looked up then, his expression a heart-wrenching mix of anger and hurt. Starkness.
“Are you fucking him?”
My jaw dropped. “What? No!” I shook my head vehemently. That he thought I would go to Logan…after everything we had done together. Ouch. That hurt. “I needed a job. Logan was the only person who could give me one. It’s just for a few months until I gain experience.” I tried to explain.
“What’s wrong with the job I gave you?” Cole’s eyes glittered dangerously. “Oh, that’s right. It wasn’t good enough for you.”
His words were laced with scorn that bit right through me. I shifted, locking my knees so my legs wouldn’t buckle under the weight of his loathing.
“I need real experience if I’m going to take care of myself. We both know our arrangement is only temporary.” I dared him to refute the fact my future didn’t involve him.
His harsh expression faltered but he didn’t deny it.
“Logan owes me and he’s still getting my allowance,” I hurried on. “Why shouldn’t he pay for that?”
“And what about Jess? Does she figure in your plans?”
I blinked. “Of course!” I let go of the solidness of the door to draw closer to Cole. “I’m still going for walks with her. I’m still taking her to the gym.” I laid my hand on his arm and looked up into the stiff set of his face. “I could never forget Jess. If I thought she needed me, I’d walk away from this in a second.”
His grip tightened on the railing. “So, you’re doing this to punish Logan?” He snorted in disbelief.
“No.” I huffed out a breath. “Yes.” I lifted my chin. “It seemed fitting. And he’s getting a raw deal. I can’t even work the filing system.”
“Don’t ever sell yourself short.”
I barely saw Cole move but the next moment he buried his head in my hair, a sigh torn from deep inside as he trapped me in his arms. Tears pricked at the back of my lids and a pang of regret tore thought me. I fisted my hands in his shirt, feathering kisses across his cheek. Needing his touch. He turned to meet my lips with a hunger that made me go weak. Fierce. Hot. Demanding.
“I need to know you’re mine.” His voice rumbled against my mouth, ragged words that set my heart beating faster.
I was desperate for his touch. “Only you.”
He pushed me against the door. Guiding his hand beneath my skirt I let him feel what he did to me, groaning loudly as he stroked my wetness. Fingers slipped under my panties and I didn’t protest, knowing Cole needed this as much as I did. The tightness of my skirt was constricting and I rucked it past my hips, widening my legs to give him better access.
“Ahh. Yes.” He slid one finger inside me. Two.
Rubbing his cock through his jeans wasn’t enough. I unzipped and released him, loving the feel of his hard swollen shaft filling my palm. I nudged his fingers out of the way, pushing my hand against my pussy to coat it with creamy moisture. I wrapped my fist around his cock, creating a delicious friction that had him grunting softly.
“Oh. Fuck. Yes.” His hips moved in time to his fingers as they thrust back and forth, never breaking our kiss as we worked each other hard.
The orgasm hit low and fast, his mouth deadening the sound of my moans. He speared his fingers inside my, thumb pressing my clit as I rode it out. Cole’s pace stuttered, his breath a delicious rasp in my ear as he held me through waves of pleasure. The base of his cock thickened, the head slick and hard and ready. I sank to my knees, laying a series of short licks around the bulb. Cole groaned deeply, his movements jerky. One hand settled in my hair, the other on the door, bracing himself.
“I’m going to fuck your mouth,” he rasped. Rocking forward, he pushed the head of his cock past my lips. “Ah God. Yes.” He released a sharp hiss of air. “Mine.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist, molding my hands to his ass. I let him set the pace, gripping the base of his cock to pump him as he pistoned in and out of my mouth, along my tongue, hitting the back of my throat. Cole’s fingers twisted in my hair, pulling my head back so he could look down on me swallowing his cock. His eyes were burning, hot heat, lips parted, teeth gritted.
His hips shot forward one last time, his eyes closing as come spurted over my tongue, filling me with his sweet taste. The tremble in his legs quieted and his hands were sure and steady as he pulled me up.
Suddenly conscious of where I was—in the stairwell at work—I shoved my skirt back over my hips. My cheeks filled with heat.
God, what would my mother say?
“I’d ask if there were any regrets…” Cole tucked his shirt back in.
“No. No regrets.” I slid from his hold. Was he saying he did? My heart twisted with a bitter ache and I wrapped my arms around my middle.
He caught me to him and kissed me. Hard.
“Madison, I—”
“I-I better get back.” I stumbled away from him. “I’ll see you later.”
Cole opened the door and let me duck past and I didn’t stop running until I reached the bathrooms.
I grimaced in the mirror as I cleaned up, barely able to face myself, scared of what I might find. Scared to think about what I’d come so close to losing today. Acknowledging how much it would hurt when Cole did say goodbye.
“I need to know you’re mine.”
He’d said the words, but we both knew his possession was fleeting.
I rinsed my hands and took one last, candid look in the mirror. Clear brown eyes stared back and for a moment I let the true Madison shine through. The spark in the depths was lust, the frown on my lips, confusion. I trailed fingers down my cheek, checking off the emotions that spoke to me as clearly as if I’d said them out loud. Hurt. Anger. Sadness. Hope.
I slipped my mask back in place and walked out.
Logan didn’t acknowledge what had happened with Cole when I crept back to my desk. He handed me my bag and fell back into his easy, flirty patter, acting like nothing was wrong.
I pretended too.
Nervousness only started to build as I took the elevator down to the ground floor and prepared to go home.
Would Cole even be there?
He hadn’t bothered hiding his distrust. How could he have thought I would go back to Logan’s bed? Bitterness stung like a dull ache in my chest. I wanted to be whatever it was Cole needed. But how could I eradicate his suspicions of me?
And could I blame him for what he thought? I used to be the very person Cole accused me of being. I’d strengthened relationships for the biggest gain, playing up to the crowd that netted the most worth. Would he ever believe I had changed? I sure as hell felt different.
For now, I was stuck in a kind of flux, caught between two worlds and two lives. Worlds that were on a collision course to disaster.
But, that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy every minute of reality Cole offered me. Even today, when he’d been furious and jealous as hell, he’d been nothing but honest about his feelings.
“Madison.”
I drew to a stop outside of the front door.
“You’re here.” A stupid grin split my face and I closed the gap to wrap my arms around Cole’s waist, feeling lightheaded. Almost giddy.
He swung me around to tuck me into his shoulder.
“I thought you might like a ride home.” Cole landed a kiss in my hair and my belly tingled with pleasure. “I called Jess. She’s out until late.”
His car was parked at the curb. Rolls of plans and a wodge of bound documents littered the front seat. Cole gathered them up and transferred them to the back.
“So, we could get a bite to eat? Or do something else if you’d like?” He leaned in as I slipped into my seat.
“Something else?”
Cole’s brow hiked up suggestively and excitement danced in hot waves along my spine. The door snicked shut and I drew a wobbly breath. Yes. I wanted to do something else—several something elses, in fact. But after what had happened today, maybe it would be prudent to take time out and talk. I needed to know Cole was okay about my job at Crovens. His opinion mattered.
“What about your mall project?” I asked as he got in beside me.
“What about it?” He cast me a sideways look.
I tried for a bright smile. “I’m curious to know more. I’ve heard Noah talk about it.”
Cole’s mall project was the hot topic at work. It was the biggest construction program on their books right now. They all thought Cole was some kind of entrepreneurial genius—or certifiably crazy, depending on who you talked to.
Cole stared through the windshield for a beat. Then shrugged. “There’s nothing there at the moment. It’s just a lump of dirt.”
“I’d still like to see it. You can show me your plans. Tell me your vision.” I barely knew Cole. This was an opportunity to unveil a different side to the man I was fast coming to admire.
Another long look and Cole nodded. “Sure. Let’s go see the nonexistent mall. I’ll buy you a make-believe fur coat and a pretend diamond ring.” He grinned, but something sat behind his smile. Some inner sadness or worry that caught at my chest.
“Then, I’ll treat you to an imaginary ice-cream.” I linked fingers with him, flashing him a smile.
“Oh no. You’ll buy me a real ice-cream.” Cole managed a laugh. “After all, you’re a working woman now.”
I buckled in and we drove to the outskirts of Wellsford, to the proposed site of the new industrial park. Excavators and heavy moving equipment slumbered in silence at the end of the day’s work. In the center of all the machinery lay an empty lot. Stones and dirt were heaped into mounds at the edges, but inside was speckled with grass and small pockets of scrubby wild flowers.
When I jumped out and took a few steps forward, my heels sank into the soft earth.
“Don’t you want to see the plans?” Cole stood by the car, watching me with interest.
“No thanks.” I grinned back at him. “I’ve tried reading them already. They may as well be written in Russian for all the sense they make.”
I went back to the car and took off my shoes, conscious of ruining them in the dirt. I couldn’t afford to replace a three hundred dollar pair.
“Why don’t you give me the grand tour?” I swept out my arms. The ground was warm from the sun, and it felt nice against my bare feet. “Is this the main entrance?”
Cole laughed as he came around the car. “Ah. No. This here is where the electrical transformer goes. It will feed the mall with power.”
“Ah. The service entrance then.” I nodded sagely as if I knew what I was talking about. “Where…um…services go.”
“Yes.” Cole’s eyes sparkled with humor.
“Perfect,” I declared. “Let’s go inside.”