Over the next few weeks, Livia lived in limbo. During the day, she visited her mother, helping with her recovery. As Ruth’s body healed, Livia encouraged her mother to talk to the police, but so far, she’d resisted. The physical therapist helped her mother with her muscles and bones while a psychologist came in daily to talk to her about the attack. Livia wasn’t allowed in the room during that time, but she was glad that her mother was talking to someone. Finally!
And then there were the nights. Oh, goodness, the nights! She arrived back from the hospital by the early evening but she didn’t have much to do until Stefan came home in the late evening. She ate most of her meals alone, wishing that she had the courage to change things, to talk to him and demand an explanation, to give him a reason for why she’d left.
But every evening, as soon as he walked in the door, he’d give her that look and her body would melt. Her mind would turn to mush and she’d be too excited to be in his arms. Every night, she’d promise herself that she would resist the magnetic pull of his body and the heat, the incredible pleasure that just seemed to intensify as they learned about each other’s bodies. And every night, she failed. So in the morning, she would wake up and swear that she would accomplish the conversation that day, only to be swept up in the heat of his touch once again.
By the end of two weeks, she stood in his penthouse, no better off than she was at the beginning of this…adventure? Relationship? Affair?
Livia had no idea how to define what she shared with Stefan. They were married, but they didn’t share anything other than physical intimacy. They lived together, but only saw each other at night in bed. By morning, he was gone and she was alone in the enormous penthouse.
The only upside to this situation was that she’d lost weight and now she felt slim and svelte, although she didn’t have the funds to get new clothes so whatever she owned just hung on her frame.
She was wearing a black sheath dress that was about two sizes too large now, but she didn’t have anything else. Smoothing the material down over her hips, she knew she’d have to do something about her financial situation. And there was no way she was asking Stefan for money. That was out of the question. She’d make do with what she had or she’d figure out another way.
With that determined, she forced her mind to think about her relationship with Stefan. Her mother was due to be released from the hospital, possibly as early as next week.
Deep down, she didn’t want to leave Stefan. He’d said she had to stay with him until there were no more hospital bills, but she wanted more. But what if that “more” included violence?
She had to talk with him! She had to question him and figure out what he’d meant that day! The words seemed pretty clear, but maybe she’d been wrong? Maybe he’d just been teasing?
Oh, she didn’t know! Stefan was such a complicated man and his face rarely revealed what he was thinking. She’d thought she’d started to understand his moods before, but now she had no idea! He was much more intense but that was mostly because they were in bed and he was making love to her whenever she saw him now.
She stepped into the elevators, as was her normal routine to go visit her mother at the hospital. But a moment before she stepped into the limousine, she looked up at the driver. “Tim, would you mind taking me to my husband’s office first?” she asked.
The man tipped his hat. “Of course, Ms. Kozlov,” he agreed.
Livia stepped into the back and Tim closed the door. A moment later, they were pulling out of the parking garage and Livia’s stomach muscles clenched in fear. What if talking to Stefan made everything worse? What if he listened and then swung out and smacked her?
Or what if he already knew that her mother was recovering and was planning on a divorce? Oh goodness, she didn’t like that idea at all. Her hand fluttered to her stomach and she felt a bit nauseous at the idea of losing even her tenuous connection with Stefan. During the days she’d hid from him, only once did she consider a divorce. But she'd been unable to follow through.
When Tim pulled up outside of Stefan’s headquarters, she looked at the skyscraper, building up her courage. Just standing outside of this enormous building made her knees go a bit weak. Everything about the building reminded her of Stefan’s power and strength. Even the building was grey like the silver of his eyes. Goodness, she was being fanciful!
He was just a man, she told herself firmly. Human. He had feelings just like all the rest of the world, even though he might be better at hiding them than most of the population.
Riding up the elevator, she nervously clenched and unclenched her purse, wishing she knew the right words to say, something that would break through this détente they’d been living under for the past few weeks.
As she stepped out of the elevators, she immediately noticed that there was a different sort of energy on the executive floor. There was always a sense of urgency, but it was heightened today for some reason. One man was actually running down the hallway with papers in his hand, another was whipping around the corner, a woman was scrambling through a doorway which she knew from previous visits was a large conference room. In fact, everyone seemed to be heading towards that area.
Livia moved slowly towards the doors, worried that she was interrupting something but too curious to stop herself. When she reached the doorway, she found the room filled with people, all of them frantically calling out to each other, pushing papers across the table that was already strewn with papers, the screens at the back of the room were filled with numbers that didn’t make sense to her novice eyes.
“Who are you?” a man yelled across the room. “Security!” he quickly called out.
Everyone’s eyes slashed to her and Livia felt a painful fit of embarrassment wash over her. Her eyes had been moving about the room, trying to determine what was going on, but with the man’s exclamation, she looked towards the one man who didn’t seem to be frantic. Stefan!
“No need to call security,” he calmly told the man who was racing towards the back of the room. Two guards stepped into the conference room even as Stefan walked towards her. He lifted his hand to wave the guards away. “Keep going. We only have today to finalize this.” He took Livia’s hand and began to lead her out of the conference room. “I’ll be back in a moment.”
With that, the rest of the people in the room bowed their heads and continued working. Obviously just one word from Stefan and she became “okay”.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” she gasped, her hand lifting to his arm even as she looked back into the conference room. “I just…”
“What’s going on?” he pressed when she stopped speaking.
Livia’s eyes moved back to his and, almost instantly, the noise and urgency of the conference room faded away. “I’m sorry Stefan. I truly didn’t mean to interrupt whatever is going on today.”
“It’s okay. Why are you here?”
Livia bowed her head. “I wanted to talk to you about…something.” She was clasping her hands together, not sure how to explain. “I was just…” she sighed and rubbed her forehead. “You’re never home for dinner lately. You just come back in time to…”
Stefan watched his wife, ignoring the throbbing need that hit him every time he was close to this woman. He’d thought that having her in his bed every night would ease the ache but it had only intensified. He wanted her more now than he had when he’d first seen her.
He reached up, cupping her cheek gently. “Do you want me home for dinner?” he asked, unaware that he was holding his breath as he waited for her answer.
As Livia’s green eyes looked up into his silver ones, she couldn’t hold back the breathy “Yes,” in response. “I’d like that very much.”
His eyes smiled even though his lips barely moved. Goodness, she’d forgotten how much she’d loved that side of him, staring into his eyes to trying to figure out what he was thinking or feeling.
“How is your mother?” he asked, knowing that Livia visited with her every day.
Livia’s mouth opened, ready to tell him the truth, that her mother was doing better and she might be released soon. But instead, she shook her head. “Not well,” she told him. “Might be a while before she is well enough to live on her own.”
Something inside of Stefan relaxed with her words. He received daily updates from the hospital so he knew that Livia’s mother might be going home next week. In fact, he’d arranged for an apartment for her, complete with a day nurse just in case she wasn’t quite ready to be on her own.
“That’s too bad. Let me know if she needs anything else, okay?” he asked gently, relieved that Livia wasn’t telling him that she was leaving.
Livia nodded, not feeling guilty at all about lying to him about her mother’s condition. She wasn’t sure what she was doing, what her ultimate goal was, but she knew that she wanted this man in her life somehow. She loved him. She had to make this work! She had to figure it out!
“Well, I’ll let you get back to work. I just…”
“Want me home for dinner,” he finished when she struggled to finish the sentence.
Livia looked up into his silver ones nervously. “Yes. That would be nice.”
Stefan didn’t hesitate. “I’ll be there,” he said, just as quietly. “Tonight.”
She glanced back at the chaotic looking room filled with people. “It looks like something important is going on there. If you can’t make dinner tonight, that’s okay.”
His lips quirked up in a slight smile and her belly flipped over with excitement. “I’ll be there.”
She sighed, her head going down a bit. “And we can talk?” she asked, her voice slightly breathy.
He chuckled as the pad of his thumb rubbed against her jaw. “Yes. We’ll talk about anything you want to discuss.”
Her face brightened and her shoulders relaxed. “That would be nice.”
“Do you have something specific you’d like to discuss?” he asked.
She considered telling him about the subject, but then shook her head. “Just talking with you,” she finished off, then cursed herself for being a coward. She’d bring it up tonight, she promised. Baby steps. She’d told him that she wanted him home for dinner, and he was willing to be there despite whatever was going on here at the office which seemed very important.
She stared up at him, ignoring the surge of feeling in the vicinity of her heart. “Your staff needs you. I’m sorry for interrupting.”
He laughed again. “Interrupt me any time, Livia.” With those words, he bent his head and kissed her very gently on the lips before he walked back to the meeting. It was the sweetest kiss he’d ever bestowed on her and her heart soared. Surely a man who could be this tender wasn’t a monster, right?
She glanced once more towards the conference room, catching his eye and feeling her cheeks turn pink. She rounded the corner and took a deep breath. Just being around the man was an intense experience.
When she was once again sitting in the limousine as it traveled out of the city towards the private hospital, she went over in her mind what she wanted to say to him. The words had to be right, and she had to say them exactly right, so that what she felt then, what she felt now, didn’t come out wrong.
She was distracted all day, trying to pay attention to her mother who was actually a chatterbox for a change, while still going over in her mind what she needed to say to Stefan.
But when she was standing in the dining room later that night, her hands once again smoothing nervously down her thighs as she waited for Stefan, all of the rehearsed speeches she’d developed in her mind just disappeared the moment she saw him walk through the door. He was so handsome, she thought. Only the slight scruff of beard on his cheeks indicated that it was night instead of morning. He looked just as fresh and put together as he had earlier today.
When he walked over to where she was standing, he didn’t stop. He simply walked up to her and took her into his arms, kissing her until she was clinging to him, her need swallowing up all of her good intentions.
As he nibbled on the side of her mouth, he asked, “What’s for dinner?” When his lips reached her ear, she gasped and shifted against him, unable to fight the inevitable pull. “You?” he asked when she still hadn’t answered him.
She’d just opened her mouth to reply when his cell phone beeped.
Stefan lifted his head and stared down at the woman in his arms. Her lips were open and her eyes glassy, proving that she was feeling the exact same thing he was feeling. But there was an important acquisition he’d walked away from in order to have dinner with her. He promised he’d be available for questions even though most of the issues had been closed earlier today.
“I have to get this,” he said with resignation and a deep sigh.
Releasing her, he pressed the answer button on his phone as he smiled slightly, watching Livia walk over to the leather sofa and lean against it. He even liked that her breathing was labored. He did that to her, he thought with pride and increasing confidence that he’d somehow be able to keep this woman in his life.
Livia listened with only half an ear while Stefan discussed something with the person on the phone. He threw out some pretty large numbers as well as issues she couldn’t even begin to grasp. The more she listened, the more intrigued she was with whatever he was doing.
But then the look in his eyes changed. Before, all she could detect was patience while he gave orders on how to deal with whatever was happening. As the conversation continued though, that patience dissipated and a new, scary, emotion emerged. He was angry! Oh goodness, how many times had her father received a call in the evening and gotten angry over whatever was being relayed?
Livia backed up, her body unconsciously cowering as she tried to protect herself. Her mind instantly shifted back to the many…many…nights she’d crawled under her bed, listening to her father’s anger and her mother’s…silence.
She glanced around the room, trying to find the best place to hide but he ended the call before she could come up with a plan.
When Stefan pocketed his phone and looked up, he instantly knew that something was wrong. Livia was no longer leaning against the sofa. She was on the other side of it. Her hands were clenched into fists and her eyes looked like she was ready to bolt.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded, his own hands on his hips as he took in her terrified expression.
Livia opened her mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out, choked by her fear. She was too terrified. No longer was Stefan standing in front of her, it was her father, an irrational reaction she knew, but she couldn’t seem to stop the panic attack that was choking her at the possibility that Stefan might take his frustrations out on her. All she wanted to do was hide, to run out of the penthouse and find some place to cower until his anger was back under control.
Stefan was furious. “Okay, explain it Livia! Because I just don’t get it! Why do you cringe when I get angry? What have I ever done or said that makes you so frightened that you live in fear of my anger?”
Livia trembled as she moved around to the other side of the furthest sofa, needing more barriers between the two of them. Or more specifically, a barrier to his fists. “I heard you!” she told him, keeping her voice as calm and even as possible but that still was probably too harsh. As she stared at him, at his handsome face and the memories of the way his hands could make her feel, Livia’s temper broke. “How could you say those words? How can you hold me and be so tender and gentle and yet…”
Stefan waited, relief flooding him that he was finally going to find out what had terrified her for so long. But when she didn’t continue, he shook his head. “Livia, if you don’t start talking…” he threatened.
“I won’t let you beat me!” she yelled. She grabbed the back of the sofa, furious that she’d put herself into this position. After getting out of her father’s house, she’d landed right back into the same kind of role and she was angry. Furious! With both herself as well as Stefan because he always seemed like one of the good guys.
“I won’t let you, Stefan. I’m not going to be one of those meek and subservient wives. You are stronger than I am and much more powerful, but I won’t take it lying down. I’ll just keep getting up and you’ll have to kill me before I’ll let you do to me what my father did to my mother!”
By the time she’d finished, she was yelling because she was so in love with the good side of him. She needed to get over that but he was still hiding the Mr. Hyde side of him.
Stefan stared at her, stunned by what she was saying. Surely he misunderstood. “Livia, are you afraid of me because you think I’ll lose my temper and hit you?” he asked softly.
Her face was pale and her eyes wide but she was able to nod her head with a jerk to confirm his question. The pieces of the puzzle that were Livia finally clicked into place. He understood and there was both relief as well as fury. The fury was for what she’d gone through as a child as well as anger that she could think he could do that to her. “I’ve never hit a woman in my life, Livia. And I wouldn’t ever hit you.” His voice was soft and soothing because he suddenly realized that her father wasn’t just a bully, he was a wife beater as well.
She continued to stare at him and he was at a loss as to what to do to help her. “Livia, what made you think that I would ever hit you?”
“I heard you!” she sobbed, trying to stand up straight but his gentle words were such a betrayal. Any moment, he was going to change. She’d seen it so many times. She knew what was going to happen. “On our wedding day, you were on the phone. You thought I was upstairs but you were taking too long. I wanted to be with you and so I went looking for you.” She angrily wiped the tears that were flowing over her cheeks. “I heard you on the phone. I don’t know who you were talking to, but you said that if I didn’t stay in line and do as I was told, you would beat me into submission.”
Stefan thought back to that day. He’d been in a haze of lust for so long, he hadn’t been thinking straight. Even the wedding ceremony was a blur because Livia had worn a gown that had floored him, tantalizing him with her soft, full curves and he’d known that he was going to be able to make love to her. Finally.
“When did I…” he stopped, remembering suddenly how he’d gone to his study and Grayson had called. “I was on the phone,” he said softly, trying to remember what he’d said. “But…” and then it hit him. He’d been talking to Grayson but it had been about Scarlett!
He looked over at her, not sure if he wanted to explode with anger or relief. Or even laughter. “You misunderstood that conversation, Livia! I wasn’t talking about beating you.”
She covered her ears. “I don’t want to know that you’re abusing other women!”
Stefan chuckled, relief surging through him. Finally! He finally understood what all of her fears were about! “I’m not abusing anyone, but I might just spank your adorable bottom if you don’t stop making assumptions and listen to me, Livia. The conversation was about Grayson and Scarlett. First of all, I wouldn’t ever hit Scarlett because she’s like my sister. And even if I did somehow get the ludicrous idea to harm so much as a hair on her head, Grayson would find me and beat me to a pulp. Those two have been in love with each other for years and the idiot won’t do anything about it. Nor will she – neither of them realize that they’re both crazy for each other.”
Livia opened her eyes and listened, stunned. “Why would you say something like that then?”
Stefan sighed and moved quickly around the sofa. He ignored her attempts to keep the space between them. He wasn’t going to have that any longer. “Livia, you have to understand that you have a different perspective on the world – one that I didn’t understand until just now. I had no idea that your father was physically abusive or I would never have used words like that.” He paused then, considering the full implications of his new understanding. “But now that I know that, I’m going to destroy him.”
Livia stiffened in his arms. “No! Leave him alone! Don’t touch him because he doesn’t play fair.”
Stefan locked eyes with her, his face serious. “You really have no idea about the power I wield, do you?” He didn’t wait for an answer because it was obvious. And even that made him feel great. She loved him for himself. Not because of his wealth or power. Over and over again, she’d proven that and he loved her even more for that. “Livia, your father is a little fish. I’m the whale in this ocean. Your father is finished in business. He’s done. He will no longer even have a house when I’m finished with him. In fact, I probably have enough evidence to toss him in prison for the rest of his life.”
She was already shaking her head but he put a hand on either side of her head and kissed her. He didn’t let up until she stopped resisting him and melted into him again. “Good. Now that you’re in the right frame of mind, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to spend the next few days, months, years, decades,” he said, nibbling on her neck, “learning to trust me.” He took her hand and moved it around his neck. “And you’re going to fall in love with me,” he promised her too.
“I think I’m already in love with you.”
He shook his head even while he was moving his mouth further down her chest. “No. If you loved me, you’d trust me. The two go hand in hand, my beauty. But you will love me. And you’re going to trust me so completely that if I start coming towards you with a baseball bat, you’re just going to assume that we’re going to play baseball and will throw yourself into my arms.”
She laughed at the image he’d just put into her head, not thinking she’d ever be able to trust him that much. But she liked what he was saying. “You’d never hurt Scarlett, would you? I really like her.”
His hands had deftly unbuttoned her blouse. “She really likes you too.”
“Why would you threaten to beat her though?” She almost forgot her question when his hand moved up to cup her breast, his thumb rubbing against her sensitized nipple.
“Because she’s an annoying meddler,” he said with a smirk.
Livia laughed, grabbing at his wrist to pull his hand away. “I can’t concentrate when you’re doing that to me,” she groaned.
“Good. I don’t want you to concentrate. We have months of sexual exploits to make up for. And I’m going to start closing the gap now.”
He stood up and lifted her into his arms, carrying her up to their bedroom. She watched in a blur as the rooms whizzed by. “When are we going to test out the other rooms in the house?” she asked, then shuttered her eyes in embarrassment.
Stefan stopped, almost dropping her with those words. “Ah, love, you’re going to kill me. But I’ll love it,” he said as he continued up the stairs to their bedroom. “But right now, the staff is here. And I want privacy while I make you scream out my name.”
Livia laughed nervously, but she followed his instructions quite well.