Chapter 1
At a Physician’s Touch
Helena pushed the door and held it open for her friend to enter. Miss Justina had taken the dresses and hats they bought at the market to her room a few minutes ago. Helena watched as Lady Lavinia struggled to carry her luggage and still walk with a graceful gait. It was a comedic and impossible task. Lady Lavinia pushed the door to a close with the back of her feet and sauntered to the collection of cushions in the middle of the parlour. Helena couldn’t hold back the laughter. Lady Lavinia looked at her friend with mock anger in her eyes.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing is. I just don’t understand why you refused to leave the clothes in your coach,” Helena replied.
“I told you before. I want to test them on me,” Lady Lavinia said.
Helena shook her head.
“You could have tested them at home too. I don’t know why you are always so eager to try on new clothes,” Helena said.
Lady Lavinia turned up her nose at her friend’s soft chastisement.
“Say what you like. I dare say this brooch really fits that pink dress I bought the other day,” Lady Lavinia said, throwing the brooch to her friend.
Helena caught the brooch which sparkled as light bounced off the minute stones embedded in its tough outer skin. It was red and white. Helena nodded her head.
It will fit really well with that pink dress. It would fit well with my white rayon dress too.
“How about I give you something for this brooch?” Helena asked.
Lady Lavinia raised one eyebrow. A smile slowly spread through her face, and her teeth gleamed through her open lips as she shook her head.
“No, no way,” she said.
“Please, I’ll give you that hat with small dragon images you love so much,” Helena said.
Lady Lavinia walked quickly to her and snatched the brooch out of Helena’s left hand.
“No. Thank you very much.”
Helena was about to speak when she heard footsteps behind her.
Those are Justina’s steps.
The passage was behind the chair Helena was sitting on, so she couldn’t see who it was. She looked to her side just as Miss Justina got to her.
“Did you hang them in my wardrobe?” Helena asked her maid.
“Yes, I did that,” Miss Justina replied.
“Did you see any of my sisters?” Helena asked.
“I couldn’t find Lady Melanie anywhere. She might have gone off with her friends again. Miss Jacqueline was in her room. She’s been attended to by a physician,” Miss Justina said.
Helena looked up to Miss Justina’s face. The dark tone of her skin did not look so striking in the subdued lighting of the parlour. Miss Justina was what Helen always described as a dark beauty.
“Is she being treated right now?” Helena asked.
“Yes ma’am. I saw him convincing her to drink a small cup of a particular draught. He told the Baroness that Miss Jacqueline would be fine in a couple of days.”
That’s good. I don’t like it when she falls sick, when any of my siblings fall ill.
“Justina, what do you think of this brooch?” Lady Lavinia asked, taking the focus away from the visiting physician.
Miss Justina stared at the brooch which Lady Lavinia had pinned to the breast region of her gown. Her eyes squinted as they always did when she was thinking.
“I think it would look nice on white.”
“I told you, didn’t I? Give me this thing,” Helena blurted.
“And any pink, red, orange, or yellow dress,” Miss Justina continued.
Lady Lavinia said nothing, her eyes goaded enough. Helena scowled and looked at Miss Justina.
“You could have just stopped at white,” she said.
“Did I say something wrong?” Miss Justina said.
Helena was about to answer, but the sound of incoming feet made her turn around. Her mother was in front, leaning back to talk to a young man in a white shirt and grey breeches. The man was young and tall. He spoke with a firmness that signaled authority and assuredness. He cleaned his hand with a napkin and put it into a small, black box an even younger man carried behind him.
That has to be the doctor and his dresser. He’s so young.
The doctor was so focused on his discussion with Helena’s mother that he didn’t notice he was being stared at. Helena saw the dark telltale sign of a moustache on his upper lip as his mouth opened to spew words. He had dark hair, so dark it almost rhymed with the shadows of the passage. When he finally looked up and caught Helena’s gaze, his eyes turned out to be blue absorbing globes.
Doctors aren’t meant to look so good.
Immediately his eyes caught Helena’s, his face broke into an engaging smile. The seriousness of his discussion with her mother was diffused by the ease of his smiling eyes. Helena felt like his eyes were connected directly to hers, pouring in warmth and strength, and another strong emotion she couldn’t describe. His eyes turned away from hers to look at her friend and maid for only fleeting moments before flying back to her. Helena felt her skin flush. She couldn’t see herself, but she knew her cheeks were red with blushing. She felt an intense sweet feeling, overshadowed by embarrassment. She dropped her gaze.
“And this must be the beautiful Miss Helena everyone is raving about,” said the doctor.
Helena raised her eyes to see the doctor bow stiffly. She composed herself and waited for the doctor to walk across the room before offering him her hand. The doctor held it gently. His hand was soft, moist, and as reassuring as she expected it to be. There was no caress, just a solid grip that lingered for a bit too long. He bent and kissed her hand, sending shots of tension and pleasure to all parts of her body. Helena had never been so impacted on meeting a person for the first time. When he left her hand, she felt his imprint in her palm, the press of his lips into the layers of her skin.
“Yes,” Lady Henrietta Sinclair replied. “She’s my first daughter. And the most stubborn of them all,” she added.
The doctor smiled.
“I was told that she was the smartest of them all, the ravings about her beauty I have confirmed,” the doctor said.
“You flatter me too much with such words, Doctor,” Helena said.
The doctor shook his head. Free strands of his dark hair leapt to each side, taking Helena’s eyes away from his face.
“It couldn’t be flattery if I only spoke truth. You are a fine specimen. I am not much of a fibber, am I?” the doctor said, looking back to the young dresser standing behind him.
The dresser who Helena had completely forgotten spoke from behind the doctor. His voice was high pitched and sprightly.
He sounds like someone who will make a lot of jokes.
“No Doctor, you never lie.”
“Let’s get back to the matter at hand, Dr Frederick. I have another beautiful daughter that is still feeling under the weather,” the Baroness said.
“Yes,” the doctor replied. “Please make her drink that draught, every morning and evening for the next five days. She will feel better from tomorrow onwards. Sometimes the change in season triggers this sort of illness in some people.”
“That’s true. We are commencing summer,” Helena said.
“We are. I’m looking forward to seeing you grace the balls I will attend,” Dr Frederick said.
Helena blushed again and turned to face her friend. Lady Lavinia had her eyes on the doctor. She didn’t see Helena turn to her. Helena turned back to the doctor.
“Of course you will. I hope to attend as many events as I can. I hope to see you there too.”
The doctor nodded his head and gestured to his dresser.
“Good day, ladies.”
He bowed stiffly again before walking out the door with his dresser. Helena sat down on the cushion and listened as his horse neighed and galloped out of the compound. Its hooves pounded hard, causing a clattering sound against the stone floor. When Helena raised her head, she met her mother, Lady Lavinia and Miss Justina staring at her.
“What is it?” she exclaimed.
“You seem to have taken an immediate liking to the young physician,” her mother said.
Helena opened her mouth to refute the statement, but she recognized the set of her mother’s eyes. She was pulling her leg. She closed her mouth.
“It’s obvious she likes him. I’ve never seen Helena stare at a man so much,” Lady Lavinia said.
I’m not letting that comment go.
“I only responded to his comments. I am not so rude such as not to respond to comments that demand answers,” Helena said.
Her mother said nothing; there remained a wry smile on her face.
“He is a very attractive doctor,” Lady Lavinia said.
“Lavinia!” Helena shouted.
Baroness Henrietta smiled widely and turned around.
“I’ll take that as my signal to leave you young women to your gossip. I have a daughter to tend to,” she said before walking down the corridor.
Helena watched her mother walk till out of eyesight before turning to her friend.
“You really have to learn to bridle your mouth, Lavinia. I wonder how you hope to bring any worthwhile man to scratch if you keep spewing out unrefined statements like that,” Helena said.
Lavinia laughed.
“I don’t intend to bring any man to scratch for the near future.”
Miss Justina’s face became swollen with withheld laughter. Helena giggled at her friend’s bluntness.
“You are the last daughter of the Earl of Albemarle. It’s not really an option,” Helena replied.
“I know right. But I will push it for as long as I can. I still enjoy going to dances and having freedom to dance with any man I like. And I wouldn’t be able to make statements such as the one I just made if I was married. I know you don’t fancy marriage so much, so don’t play the devil’s advocate,” Lady Lavinia said.
Helena laughed. She wasn’t going to dive into her thoughts about marriage this afternoon.
“What statement?” Helena asked.
“Do you really want me to repeat it? It was you who shouted my name,” Lady Lavinia.
Helena shook her head at her friend’s free mindset.
“I do enjoy going to the balls without being permanently attached to someone. I don’t fancy being at a man’s beck and call so much,” Helena admitted.
“Of course you do,” Lady Lavinia said.
“But I think it’s because I haven’t fallen in love yet. I have not met a man that will sweep me off my feet.”
Dr Frederick did do something to my legs, even if I’m not off my feet yet.
“You know behind that sturdy head and wise tongue, there was always an airhead,” Lady Lavinia said, pulling the brooch off her chest.
Helena picked a small pillow beside her on the cushion and stoned her friend with it. The pillow hit her on the head and caused her to look up in surprise.
“I’m smarter than you, Lavinia,” Helena said.
Miss Justina picked up the pillow and offered it to Lady Lavinia. Helena was surprised to see her maid do that.
“You offer her the pillow to exact vengeance, Justina. And here I was thinking you a friend and ally,” Helena said playfully.
“I am a friend and ally. I just felt it was turn by turn,” Miss Justina replied softly.
“Thank you, friend and ally,” Lady Lavinia said, tapping Miss Justina on the arm.
Helena turned up her nose and tapped the space beside her.
“Sit here, Justina.”
Miss Justina sat down, the smile on her face from Lady Lavinia’s comments still lingered.
“You are smart because you always read. You are also current with the happenings of the society. I’ll give you that. You are still an airhead, though,” Lady Lavinia said.
Helena just nodded her head. Her mind had wandered back to the feel of the doctor’s eyes on her. He had been respectful and professional. His eyes didn’t wander anywhere suggestive, but Helena felt like he had touched her all over. She imagined the feel of his firm fingers on her sensitive parts, his fingers on her abdomen and breasts. His fingers would rub her nipples in between them till they became hard and taut. His firm finger would wander down and dip in the abyss between her legs. Helena felt hot all over.
I need to see this man again.
Helena reminded herself to ask her mother how they had gotten the services of the young man.
It’s about time I feigned an illness.
Helena smiled at her thoughts.
“Why are you smiling for no reason?” Lady Lavinia said.
Helena shook her head.
“Aren’t you going to try on the remaining dresses? Or should I take some to my chamber to try them on if they fit me?” Helena asked.
Lady Lavinia eyed Helena playfully.
“You had better keep your hands off my clothes,” she replied.
“Do help me take these clothes to Helena’s room, Justina. I want to go try them on there,” Lady Lavinia said.
Miss Justina picked up the heap of clothes, with a few falling off. Lady Lavinia picked the three dresses that fell off and followed Miss Justina as she walked out of the parlour. Helena followed her friends.
The day was at mid afternoon and was getting hotter. Helena used her fingers to trace the ridges on the carved wood of the walls.
“My grandfather had this wood imported from Lebanon. These are top notch Lebanese cedar, so don’t scratch them,” the Baron would always say.
Where is Father anyway?
Helena wondered why her father was becoming quieter of recent. He had not gone out that morning; she was sure he was still inside, but he hadn’t come out when the physician was leaving.
He hasn’t been coming out for anything lately. I’ll check him once Lavinia leaves.
She went into her room after her friend and maid had entered. The white walls of her room were always a welcome sight. The colour soothed her. Helena looked at her image in the big mirror that faced the door. Her red hair was rough; she had not brushed it again that afternoon. It was always roughing up after a few hours of no attention. She saw Lavinia pick another dress from the heap out of the periphery of her eyes while she walked to the mirror to look at herself.
Am I gaining weight?
Her cheeks seemed chubbier than they had been the day before. Her bust was more pronounced.
Surely, it is bigger. Or is it this dress?
Her skin was still bleached white. She always compared herself to Miss Justina whenever she felt she was getting darker. She turned back to look at her maid’s skin, and the dark colour of her skin still opposed her own strikingly. She compared her skin with Lady Lavinia’s. Lady Lavinia’s skin colour was a mild cream, just in between hers and Miss Justina. Helena removed a small thread that had gotten tangled in her hair.
It’s probably from the fabric of Lavinia’s new clothes.
Her white fingers contrasted with the tomato red of her lips. She puckered her lips then eased them again. Her eyes were dry grey. Lady Lavinia once called them the most uninteresting set of eyes in England. But Helena had discovered that the contrast of the deep red of her lips with her nearly colourless eyes mesmerized many men. Her round face with flawless skin just accentuated the effect they had. She was a beautiful woman.
“You could tell me what you think about this shift when you are done admiring yourself,” Lady Lavinia said, budging Helena out of her thoughts.
She had removed the gown she was wearing and had a shift she had just bought on. It was brown and clung tight to her chubby body.
“It’s fine, fits you well,” Helena said.
She watched as her friend, dressed and undressed, trying all the clothes she bought. She criticised how some looked and praised others. Only after making her own decision on them did she ask for Helena and Miss Justina’s thoughts on them. And when they gave a different opinion, she argued against it and reverted back to the initial opinion she had.
“You insist the pink dress is spread too much below the waist. So why do you ask our opinion if it wouldn’t affect what you think?” Helena asked her.
“I just want you to talk so you won’t be bored watching me look good,” Lady Lavinia replied.
Helena shook her head at her friend’s reply.
There is always one cheeky response just below the surface.
Miss Justina walked to Helena.
“I need to prepare hot water for the Baron,” she said under very low tones.
Helena wondered if she didn’t intend Lady Lavinia to hear her speak.
“Why you? What of father’s personal steward?”
“The man has gone to the doctor’s house. He is to collect a draught that will help the Baron sleep better,” Miss Justina said.
Helena was confused.
“Why does Father need to sleep better? And I didn’t know the doctor saw him too.”
“I have been told to keep this secret as much as possible, but you are his daughter, ma’am, so you need to know. The Baron has been feeling weak for more than a week now. Mister Wallace also told me he has been unable to sleep. The Duchess calling for Dr Frederick was to treat the Baron as much as for Miss Jacqueline. She didn’t mention it to you because for some reason the Duchess ordered that no one speaks about it.”
“Why do you gossip about me? Why not tell me what the source of your jealousy is now, instead of speaking behind my back?” Lady Lavinia said to them.
She had removed the last new gown and was back in the dress she originally wore. Helena tapped Miss Justina on the shoulder, signalling her to go.
“Even if you are dressed in the most royal silk, Lavinia, I’ll still be prettier than you,” Helena said.
“That’s the jealousy speaking,” Lady Lavinia replied.
Helena pushed the disturbing news about her father to the back of her mind and walked to the bed. She sat down beside her friend.
“My cousins should be arriving this evening or early tomorrow morning,” Lady Lavinia said.
“Which of your cousins?” Helena asked her.
Lady Lavinia looked at her friend with bewilderment in her eyes. She shook her head and clapped her hands in a show of wonderment.
“How are you so smart anyway?” she asked. “You forget small details so quickly.”
“Are you going to tell me, or are you satisfied with just talking about my forgetfulness?” Helena asked her.
Lady Lavinia shook her head again.
“I told you yesterday that my first cousins on my mother’s side are coming from Ireland, the set of twins?”
Helena remembered that Lady Lavinia had mentioned visiting cousins the day before.
“I remember now. You said they used to visit a lot when you were still children.”
“Yes, they did. Mother tells me the guy is coming with a friend, an Irish prince,” Lady Lavinia said.
“Really, the young man must be really fond of travelling, for him to leave his family just to visit with his friend,” Helena said.
“My thoughts exactly,” Lady Lavinia said.
Both of them kept quiet for a few seconds before Helena broke the silence.
“That means we get to go to the Somerset ball with a full company. Three of us along with your cousins and their friend, that’s a lot of people,” Helena said.
“The more, the merrier,” Lady Lavinia replied.
Helena smiled at her friend’s comment. She had not picked something to wear to the Somerset ball. That was the first ball of the season; she had to make an impression. She doubted Lady Lavinia had bought anything she intended to wear either. The Somerset ball was white themed, and her friend had not bought any white dress.
“We still have to go shopping,” Helena said.
“Of course. I don’t think I have any white dress still in fashion. The ball is coming up at the end of next week. We have to buy our dresses before then,” Lady Lavinia replied.
“It’s good we haven’t bought what we intend to buy. We can all go together, your cousins and their friend inclusive,” Helena said.
Lady Lavinia lay back on the bed and placed her legs on it. She used her feet to ease her shoes off, allowing them to drop on the wooden floor. Helena looked outside. The sinking sun was changing from a bright yellow to a radiant orange. It was low now, sending its rays directly into her room and heating her face.
Helena loved the soft sting of the weak rays on her cheeks. It heated her up and made her appreciate the cool that evening brought. She looked at her mirror, but the rays reflected heavily on it. She couldn’t see anything on it.
She thought about her sister and her father. She had wondered when her mother had asked for the physician to be summoned early that morning.
Yes, Jacqueline is ill, but it wasn’t so bad. We’ve all been as ill as that without necessarily getting the physician to come over. We just buy laudanum for the fever, and she gets over it in a few days.
She needed to check on her father. The man had never fallen seriously ill since she had known him. The issue worried her.
“I need to check my sister, Lavinia,” Helena said.
Lady Lavinia did not respond. Helena turned to look at her friend. Lady Lavinia’s chest rose and fell in a gentle vacillating motion. Helena could hear her breathe, steady streams of air that eased out of her mouth and nostrils. Her friend was asleep. Helena walked to her window and closed it a bit. She didn’t want the sun pouring its rays directly on her friend.
“I need to check on my father,” she said.