Chapter 1

 

 

 

The holiday season always made him sad. He spent the whole day with his friends, eating food and having a good time. But at the end of the day, he had to come home to his trailer alone. The full day of fun made the come-down at the end of the day even worse. It was painful to have to climb into his truck alone at the end of the dinner and come home. 

He used to have roommates. He’d lived alone after his parents abandoned him when he was fifteen. Those three months were the worst period of his childhood. He hated living by himself and was lonely all the time. After an older friend’s girlfriend insisted he move in with them, Wy had realized what was wrong. He didn’t miss his parents. He missed being around other people. He had loved living with the couple.

They were only a few years older than he was, and it was like living with an older brother and sister. Wy didn’t have any siblings, so it had been a real treat. He’d stayed with them until they’d had their first child. Then he’d moved into his own doublewide trailer. He’d made sure to set up a roommate before he even decided on which trailer he’d buy.

Ever since then, he’d had a steady string of friends living with him. Unfortunately, none of them had worked out long-term. The last had been his friend Nate. They’d gotten along great, and Wy had thought they’d be living together for a few more years. Nate didn’t even date or anything. But then he’d found a girlfriend, and Wy knew he’d be alone again. After Nate moved out to live with his fiancée, Wy had given up the search for someone new.

No matter who he found, it would only be a matter of time before they moved on too. He would have a few months or years of fun, and then they’d be gone overnight. It wasn’t worth getting attached only to lose them the second a romantic interest came into the picture.

He didn’t know what he was doing wrong.

Even after they got engaged, he always told his friends they could keep living with him. He would have loved for any of their wives to move in, but none of them had ever taken him up on his offer. One of them had even rented a house down the road for a while. It made no sense. The living expenses were dirt-cheap for two people. With three people paying, they would each be paying peanuts. He charged less than half of what the cheapest studio cost in the area. Heck, he’d even offered to let Nate and his fiancée Blair pay half the rent if they moved in. That way they could save money to start a family, which he would have loved too. He loved baby shifters. It would have been nice to have a little tiger cub running around. 

They had declined very politely, but he had known that they were just being nice. He had done something wrong. They couldn’t stand living with him, just like his last roommate Aaron and his wife. He’d gotten along fine with all his roommates. He was still friends with all of them. But none of them had stuck around once they’d found their mates.

He’d realized something was wrong when Aaron and his now-wife Emma were dating. Emma hadn’t even moved in with them. She had lived in Illinois before she and Aaron found a home in Maple Creek. She’d driven hours to come for a weekend and then go home. Wyatt had told her it was cool to move in while they looked for a house, but she’d said no.

She wouldn’t have even needed to pay rent, and she would have been able to see Aaron all the time. But she’d still declined his offer too. That was when he knew that something about him scared women. None of them had said it, but he knew that was the problem. Why else would none of them want to live with him? Even with all the perks he was throwing in, none of them could stomach the thought of living with him.

The ramifications of the discovery weren’t lost on Wy. He’d always had trouble finding a girlfriend, but he had figured it was because he was picky. It had never bothered him until lately. If women didn’t want to live with him, how would he ever find a mate?

Emma and Blair always told him that it was nothing personal, but Wy knew better. They were nice to him, and he liked Emma and Blair a lot. They seemed to like him too, and they were nice women. That was why they didn’t want to tell him what his fatal flaw was. Whatever was wrong with him, it was something he couldn’t change. They didn’t want to hurt his feelings and let him know that his future was hopeless.

He knew he was strange. He knew he could come on a bit strong sometimes, but he was a nice guy and only meant to do good. He tried his hardest not to ever bother anyone or burden his friends with his problems. Most people didn’t seem to like him, but that was okay—he didn’t like most people, at least not enough to be friends with them. He had his core group of friends, and he was grateful to have them. He didn’t need any more friends than he had. They were all so kind to him and were more like family than friends.

He had just come from Thanksgiving at his friends Cade and Kira’s home. Everyone had been there, and he’d had a great time. Their little son had been crawling over Wy and had been glued to his side the whole night. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have a family of his own to spend the holiday with. His friends were just as good, but he wished it could be like that all the time. If women were afraid of him, he would never find a mate. He would have to settle for a roomful of laughter and love only on special occasions.

The thought of spending the rest of his life alone in his trailer was too depressing, and Wy hated being sad. As soon as ’he got back to his quiet trailer, he had shifted. His gorilla didn’t mind being alone as much.

The only thing it did mind was being hungry, and he was starving. He should have gotten food out before he’ shifted.

He was still trying to figure out how to get the fridge open without breaking it when there was a knock at his door. He shifted and grabbed his sweat pants from his couch.

“Wyatt!” Blair smiled brightly and held up a plate wrapped in tinfoil. “You didn’t take any leftovers. Kira wanted you to have these.”

“Thanks. You didn’t have to bring it over.”

“I couldn’t sleep, anyway.” She motioned to her growing belly. “This little guy didn’t want the party to end. He’s been moving to his own little beat since dinner.”

Wy put his hand on her stomach and was immediately kicked in the hand. He laughed. “He’s gonna be more like you. Nate would never make this big a commotion at night.”

“So true.” She looked into the trailer behind him and wrinkled her nose. “You haven’t gotten any new furniture?”

He shook his head and put his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. “Not yet. I don’t really spend a lot of time as a human when I’m home. Seems silly to get chairs and a table for a gorilla. I don’t even think there’s anything that would hold me.”

“What about your guests? You can’t possibly make everyone sit on the floor when they come to visit you. That’s rude, Wy.”

“I don’t have any guests.” He clenched and unclenched his fists in his pockets. “I don’t want to waste the money on furniture that I’ll never use.”

Blair shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “You have a guest right now. And I would love to have a place to sit when I come over.”

“You don’t have to come over again.”

Blair frowned. “Do you want me to go?”

He shook his head. He’d said something wrong again. “No. I mean, if you don’t want to come over, you don’t have to. I don’t mind.”

“I like coming to see you, Wy. You don’t come to visit Nate and me enough, either. I would love to hang out every week.”

“Okay.”

She was just being nice. If she really wanted to see him so much, she would be living with him. She was nice, but he didn’t want to bother her. The more he went over to her and Nate’s place, the better chance there would be of her getting annoyed with him.

“Plus, you’re going to be having more visitors in the future. You did sign up for LK Brides, right?”

“I didn’t, but they won’t have any matches for me.” Wy tried to smile, but he couldn’t get his mouth to move in the right direction. His face burned. “I don’t think I’m really mail-order bride material. I mean, I live in a trailer and all.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s a doublewide, and your trailer is bigger than a lot of houses in this neighborhood. Plus, Nate was living here when we started dating. Nobody cares if you live in a trailer.”

“Well, women must care about one of the things that’s wrong with me.” He leaned back and let his head fall back against the wall behind him. “I’ve tried looking for years and haven’t had any luck.”

“Nothing is wrong with you,” Blair said forcefully. “I wish you’d stop saying that. Nate and Cade were both signed up for over a year before they got matched. Actually, I think Cade got matched once before Kira, right?”

Wyatt nodded. He had heard the story a million times. His friends had all told him to sign up for Lovely and Kind Brides. They said it was the best way to find a match. Wy knew what they meant. He might be lucky enough to snag a girl before she found out all the bad stuff about him.

“I know that it’s worked for other people, but I’m not like everyone else. I’ve never even had a real girlfriend. If I can’t get women in real life to like me, I don’t know how LK Brides is going to do better.”

“How many girls have you asked out this last year?” Blair demanded.

He shrugged. “None. I haven’t met my mate yet.”

“But how do you know that if you aren’t dating anyone?” Blair threw her hands up. “You’re making this harder than it needs to be.”

“You don’t get it because you aren’t a shifter. When I meet my mate, I’ll know. If I date anyone else, I’m just wasting her time and mine.”

“So, you don’t want to date at all, then?”

“I guess not. Not until I find the right person.”

Blair pressed her palms to her eyes. “Sometimes, it’s like talking to a wall. Listen, you can date for fun too. Not every woman wants a serious relationship. You know I had more than a few boyfriends before I fell in love with Nate.”

“Yeah, but none of them were shifters.”

“Yes, a few of them were.”

Wy pulled away from the wall and took his hands out of his pockets. “Really? But what did you guys even do? Did they know you weren’t their mate?”

“They did. But I didn’t want to marry those guys. I was just having fun. Dating can be casual too. As long as you’re clear about your intentions, it can be nice to have someone to spend time with.”

“Interesting.”

Wy had never thought about dating like that before. He thought dating was for finding your mate. He wasn’t sure if he could just date around like humans did, but meeting people in real life wasn’t working out for him, and neither was online matchmaking. He was beginning to think that finding a mate wasn’t for him. Not that he would tell anyone. That was the kind of thing that made people look at him sideways with their lips pressed together. 

Blair put her hand on his arm. “Hang in there. I know your mate is out there, and I’m sure LK Brides will bring her to you. You need to sign up first to get the ball rolling. And in the meantime, think about maybe asking a girl out in real life too.”

“Thanks for dropping by and for the advice.” He took the plate from her. “I was getting hungry again, and this is going to hit the spot.”

Blair nodded and smiled. “No problem. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

“I won’t,” he promised. “Goodnight.”

“Night.” 

He locked the door behind her and took the plate of food to the kitchen, then shoved a few slices of cold turkey into his mouth. He didn’t bother shifting back. All this mate talk had made his gorilla sad. It wanted a mate more than his human side did. His gorilla was ready to get started on making a family of its own.

Wy slumped onto the couch. A mate would be nice, but there was no way he was going to find one anytime soon. He was going to have to get used to the loneliness or take Blair’s advice and start dating casually. He didn’t know which one sounded worse.