Chapter Fourteen – Rollon
Any worries he might have had disappeared the moment he saw Tindra's smile when the doctor confirmed that she was pregnant. Unexpected pregnancies were difficult to deal with, even under the best of circumstances. But Tindra laughed and cried and when Rollon tried to comfort her. She told him that she had never been happier. It had eased his heart substantially.
Rollon walked with her in the gardens afterward, unsure of what to say. With Eva's attack and Ingrid's betrayal, he hadn't had much time to think about much else. Now he was going to be a father again, and he really didn't know what his relationship with the mother was. He didn’t know how to bring it up, either.
"There's my new mommy!" Thor bounded into view. He picked Tindra up and swung her in a circle. "I just got your message, Dad. This is so exciting!"
He beamed as he set Tindra back on her feet and patted her stomach. The human giggled a little nervously as she slipped her hand back into Rollon's. Thor fell in step next to them, a smile beaming over his face. If Rollon didn't know better, he would have said his son looked a tad bit smug. Like he had been hoping this would be the outcome.
"So, should I start calling you Mom now?" Thor continued elbowing Tindra.
"I'm not old enough to be your mother."
"Nobody is, really. But whatever you want." His son shrugged. "Did you know that it was my birthday yesterday?"
"Shit!" Rollon could have kicked himself. "Thor, I'm so sorry. I forgot—"
"I did, too, until just now."
"Happy birthday," Tindra said with an uncertain smile. "What do vampires do to celebrate their birthdays?"
Thor glanced over her head at Rollon. He could see the question in his son's eyes. His first reaction was to say no, but it was his birthday and Tindra had asked as well . . . It was time to face the past. Slowly he nodded, his grip tightening on Tindra's hand.
"Usually we have a few drinks and a present exchange, but this year . . . " Thor looked back at Tindra. "This year, we're going to see Mom. And you are coming with us."
***
The room he had put together for Thor's mother was the most high-tech, comfortable hospital room that money could buy. The doctors quickly updated him as to her situation while he and Thor stepped into the room. Tindra was staying in the waiting room for now. Ariel was once a vibrant woman, but the years of this curse had wasted her away. Her hair was white, and there were deep wrinkles in her face. Her bones were wasted and twig-like.
"I was young, arrogant and selfish when I was with her," Rollon whispered as Thor sat on Ariel's other side. "She could have lived a full life if I hadn't been in it."
"Dad, she loved you. And she loved me, too. There's no point in holding onto guilt for something that isn't your fault."
He stroked the back of her hand. The machines that kept her alive beeped and whirled, but Rollon could still smell death hanging in the air. If he had come more regularly, would his guilt at her state still be eating him up on the inside? He sighed. There were no answers for what might have been. Slowly, he rested his other hand on Ariel's forehead. After all these years . . .
"I didn't love her. I knew how much she loved me and I used that for my own ends. But I didn't love her. That more than anything else . . . How could I treat her like I did?"
Thor sighed. "Dad . . . She knew you didn't love her. And I don't know what would have happened if she had been stronger. But you didn't treat her badly."
"I didn't treat her well."
"You can't change that. But you can change yourself. I'm going to get Tindra."
Rollon wanted to protest but was silent. Moments later, Tindra entered. Thor stayed out. The human gazed at Ariel, a crease in her brow. She moved to Rollon's side and leaned against him. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Even though the proof of why they shouldn’t be together was right there, he didn't want to let her go.
"I didn't expect her to be old."
"She's aged as the years go by. Slower than humans, but . . . I don't think she's going to last much longer. And I'm not sure she would want to."
Tindra touched Ariel's hand. "I'm sorry that you had to go through this." Rollon thought she was talking to him at first and opened his mouth to reply, but she continued. "Don't worry, though. I'll take good care of him. I won't let him wallow forever. All he needs is a good kick in the pants."
"Talking about kicking the king . . . " Rollon shook his head. "Odd little human."
"Don't odd little human me. I know how these things work. You need someone who will tell it how it is, and I'm telling you: you need a kick in the pants to knock some sense into you." Her smile was short-lived. "How often does it happen like this?"
"Ariel's the only one I know about."
Tindra's brow furrowed. "If she is the only one in thousands, then why are you so worried about it happening again? It was just a tragic fluke."
"I'm worried because . . . because I didn't want to fall in love and have this happen." He stroked her face. "I'm worried for you. Terrified. I feel this fear in my bones. It's a fear I've never felt before, something so deep and strong . . . I'm not sure I could live without you, now that I've grown to know you."
"Is that your way of telling me you love me?"
His hand still gripped Ariel's, and Tindra pressed hers to the other side as if with their grip, they were receiving her blessing on this strange relationship between them. Was it disrespectful to do so in her presence? Or was it the only place where it could be done?
"I don't know what love is." Rollon swallowed the lie back down. "No. That's not true. I know exactly what love is. I love Thor. I love the kingdom. And in an entirely different way . . . I love you."
"A different way?" Tindra teased.
"With fire and lust and a desire to protect you from everything." Rollon glanced at Ariel. "The way I didn't protect her. And maybe that is why I've been holding back. Not because she ended up like this, but because until she was like this I didn't . . . I didn't see her. I didn't appreciate her."
Tindra squeezed his hand. "Thank you for sharing. And thank you," she whispered towards Ariel. "I promise I'll look after him. I love him, too. More than I thought I could love anybody. And I'm sorry that you never got your happy ending."
She wiped her face and stepped away before giving Rollon a soft smile. He wasn't sure what to say. Apparently, he didn't need to. Tindra traced her fingers over his lips for a moment.
"When you're ready, I'll be in my apartment."
She slipped from the room, leaving him alone with Ariel. He stroked the brittle hair from her pale face, remembering how beautiful she looked that first day he saw her. There had been no question in his mind that she might not want him, and he was right. From the moment he opened his mouth, he saw her falling in love with him. He hadn't been cruel to her, but she had given him everything and he had returned only a fraction of himself back to her.
"I'm sorry, my darling," he whispered. "I'm sorry for everything. I wish I could make it up to you. I know that I can't, but I promise from this day forward I'm a changed man. I won't let myself be blinded again." Thor entered the room. He took up a spot beside Rollon and the king gripped his shoulder. "You'd be proud of our son. He's brave, strong, intelligent . . . and he picked up your knack for causing trouble."
"I certainly did." Thor laughed. "You know, Dad would still be wallowing if I hadn't brought Tindra into our lives. I practically had to launch her at him to get him to do anything about it.'
Rollon chuckled. For a moment they stood there in silence, each lost in memories of the past. Eventually, Thor stirred. He kissed his mother's forehead, tears glimmering in his eyes.
"It's time to let go. Mom." His voice shook as he smoothed her hair. "We'll be alright, I promise. And I will never forget you."
"Neither will I." Rollon brushed a kiss against Ariel's forehead. "Goodbye."
For a moment, he thought he saw the old mischievous smirk she would give him. Then, as if she had been waiting for this moment, the beating of her heart stilled. Tears burned his eye as Thor squeezed his mother's hand. He smiled briefly, then collapsed into sobs. Rollon wrapped his arms around his son, rocking him gently like he did when he was a child. Thor clung to him. Tears rolled down Rollon's face.
"She loved you," Rollon whispered. "She loved you more than anything."
"I know."
The doctors rushed into the room, but Rollon merely had them turn off the machinery and leave again. It was time to let go of the past, and wherever Ariel was now, he hoped that she was happy.