Chapter 6
Waking up on the couch in the break room, it takes me a minute to figure out where I am. It’s rare for me not to sleep in my own bed, and though I’ve stayed at Allison’s after a long night, or visited Daddy’s vacation homes on several occasions, I’ve never slept at the center.
Yet, despite the lack of a proper bed, I wake to find I feel amazing: relaxed, rested, and ready for a wonderful day. Colin’s not in the room with me now, but I hear the bass tones of his voice in the distance, punctuated by short pauses. I assume he’s on the phone, and didn’t want to get me up. Once I get going, I’ll find him.
Not yet, though. I don’t move from the couch; I’m too comfortable. I want to enjoy this feeling a little longer.
This is it, I think. What more could I ask for in a man? He’s certainly no Ken or Daniel. And if anyone could arrange for a perfect night, it’s someone like Colin. Maybe he’ll take me back to his place. Or he could fly us off to Paris. Or maybe find us a private beach with no one around for miles…
My mind races with possibilities, but the best part is that, in truth, it doesn’t matter which he chooses. Maybe I don’t want my first time to be in the break room of my center, but as long as it’s nice and it’s just the two of us together, that’s all that matters.
Finally, and with a sigh, I get up and have a sip of water. Looking at my phone I see it’s actually very early. The volunteer for the Sunday morning shift should be arriving within the half hour. I hadn’t thought of what might happen if they arrived before Colin left, but based on what he said, I suppose now they wouldn’t care.
They’ll probably be happy for me, I realize.
Still, though, I’d rather not have a celebrity like Colin Legend be seen here having obviously spent the night.
Oh, God!
If he was here all night, he must be exhausted!
I throw on my shoes and set off to find him, following the echoes of his voice. As I get closer, I slow down. Colin’s words sound quick and harsh, and it drills right through my heart. How could he not be in a good mood after the night we had? Is something wrong?
Though I feel conflicted about it, I stop when I get close enough to make out his side of the conversation. I don’t like eavesdropping, but I can’t help being curious.
“Look, I don’t know what you want me to say, Reed. There’s still time. Be patient… No, absolutely not… Because it’s not an option!”
Geez, he’s really mad! I’ve never heard him lose his temper — not even close. I know he’s a passionate person, but what could be so important this early in the morning?
“Well that’s your opinion. It was a nice night.”
Wait, is he talking about us? I know guys like to talk about their hookups, but is that seriously what’s going on? Is his friend in another time zone, or something?
“I’ll get what I need soon.”
Get what he needs? Is that really how he sees it? I want to tell myself I’m not really hearing this, that it’s a misunderstanding, but it’s hard to regard it any other way.
“I’m not worried, Reed. I’ll close this deal like I close all the others.”
No, this can’t be just “a deal” to him. I refuse to believe it.
“If not, then we’ll move on. That’s life.”
I slump against the wall and slide down to the floor. He’d move on, just like that? If I don’t give him what he wants?
“You know what your problem is? You’ve got no fucking finesse. Do you think I just say and do whatever I want, and everyone just follows along? There’s a process, Reed.”
A process? Is that how he gets women to give him what he wants? He has it down to a science?
“Speed it up?” he snaps, pounding a fist against the wall. The sound is so loud and sudden that I gasp and flinch. “Speed it up? That’s great. Why didn’t I think of that?”
I don’t understand how the man I spent the last three nights with could be acting like this now. Was everything we shared a lie? An act, designed to get me into bed? Did he think he’d have claimed me by now?
“You know what, Reed? If you’re so smart, why don’t you make a few calls? See if you can’t succeed where I’ve failed.”
I’ve heard enough. I march away, pounding the linoleum, not caring if Colin can hear. The way he’s wrapped up in his call, I’d be surprised if he did. Slamming the door to the break room, I start to cry. Brokenhearted and frustrated, I pace around in disbelief.
No Kens, no Daniels, and no Colins.
What am I going to have to do to meet a good man?
Staring at the couch where just a few minutes ago, I felt nothing but joy and excitement, I leap, startled, when I hear a knock on the door.
“Susie?” It’s him. “What’s going on, can I come in?”
“Get the fuck out, you shit!” I scream, kicking the base of the door.
“Susie, I was just talking to my business partner about a deal I’m working on. I’m sorry if you heard something that… wasn’t in context. Okay?”
Is that it? A business thing?
“What was that part about it being a nice night?” I ask, replaying everything I heard back in my mind as best I could. I open the door so he can see me; if he’s going to lie, it’s going to be to my face. “How was that not about us?”
“Okay, well… that part is. Reed thinks I was wasting my time, that our work is more important than… what’s happening with us.”
“Oh,” I mutter, starting to feel like a complete idiot. “I guess for him… it is.”
Colin chuckles and slips his arm around my shoulders, holding me to his chest. I let out a few more heaves, but by the time I finish, they’re of relief instead of pain.
“You must think I’m a crazy person,” I lament.
“No way. I know how men like me come off; it’s hard to escape it. I hope that you’ll see I’m trying to be different.”
Trying to be different? The way he says this makes my stomach clench. Is he not really different? Why would he say it that way?
“You have nothing to worry about, Susie,” he adds, which doesn’t help. I know that when somebody says “Believe me,” that’s when you should be suspicious.
Then again, a minute ago I was convinced Colin was talking about me on that phone call. Maybe I’m not the best judge right now?
What would Allison say?
To take a little more time, just to be sure, most likely.
So that’s what I’ll do.
“All right,” I say, nodding. “But if you’re lying to me, Colin, I swear-”
Before I can finish, he takes my shoulders and looks me straight in the eye. He says, “I promise, Susie. If I didn’t feel something real for you, I would tell you.”
There’s no hesitation in his words, and his gaze doesn’t waver. It feels like the truth.
“Okay.” I smile. “Good.”
He pulls me into a hug and holds me tight. We stay like this, enjoying it, until I hear a buzz coming from the main entrance.
“Morning shift is here. We’re officially relieved of duty,” I explain to Colin. “You should go home and get some rest. You’ve been up all night.”
“On a Saturday?” Colin laughs. “That’s pretty typical for me. Just don’t tell the tabloids I was here and not in a VIP lounge.”
“You got it.”
—
As soon as I get home, I get into bed to go back to sleep. At first I stare at the ceiling, thinking about the last few days and how quickly it’s all gone by, and yet the day Colin and I met feels like a month ago.
Eventually, I drift off. I wake hours later feeling much better, especially when I realize that my phone is ringing. It’s Colin.
“Hey,” I say, my voice throaty and dry.
“Hey. Get some rest?” he asks.
Rising out of bed, I see it’s already past noon. “I did. You?”
I hear dishes clattering in the background. “I’d like to say I couldn’t because I was thinking of you, but…”
“You’re sweet,” I say, activating speakerphone so I can change. “But you were out like that.”
“Pretty much. But I just got up, and all I could think of was giving you a call. What are you doing tonight?”
I can’t help laughing. “Are you for real? You don’t need to work? Won’t that Reed guy be pissed?”
“I own the company, I can do what I want. Life’s too short, Susie. I know this is moving fast, and if you need to cool it, that’s fine. But I don’t think that’s what you want. Not after last night.”
I bite my lip and fall into bed, spreading out against the cool sheets. “I do want to see you…”
“Good.”
“But I’m going to warn you, Colin.” I inhale deeply, giving myself a moment. “Last night was great, and I want to do that all again. Just, I’m not sure I’m ready to go any further than that. Not yet.”
“I understand completely, Susie.” He sounds serious. “You have my word that I am not going to push you into anything you’re not ready for. If I suggest we try something — and I will — but you don’t want to, I will respect that. No arguments, no complaints.”
“Thank you.”
He adds, “And when you’re ready, I know you’ll tell me. Until then, I’ll look forward to that day.”
Shifting in my bed to alleviate the fresh throb in my core, I say, “Me too.”