Ben stood at the window in his loft, looking out over the early morning streets below. It had been a month since he’d seen Lucy. After the standoff with her father, and the way she’d run afterward, he didn’t know what to say or do, so he’d avoided another confrontation with her altogether. The cowardice didn’t sit well with him at all, but he’d needed time to think, time to consider his options, time to plan for his future as a free man.

He’d managed to get the local Bratva to accept the deal and take the diamonds in exchange for the money Mishin had owed them. The man would do well not to show his face in Chicago again.

Sighing, Ben sipped his coffee then leaned against the windowsill. It had taken a lot of hard work and effort, but he’d finished the remodeling of his place. Even managed to decorate a bit, with fresh paint on the walls and more furniture to fill up the space. He wondered how Lucy was doing downstairs. She’s stayed on, despite her harsh words at the jewelry store that day. Maybe out of necessity, maybe out of something more. If the former were true, he was glad to have helped her in some small way, a chance to repay her for showing him what life could be without the Bratva. If it was the latter… Well, he didn’t want to get his hopes up in that arena. His feelings for her were just as strong as ever, but after all she’d been through, he wouldn’t blame her for never wanting to see him again.  

The loud bark of a dog snapped his attention back to the window and he glanced over his shoulder to see Lucy and Pavlov on the sidewalk, heading for the little park about a block up from their building. He’d seen them make that trek before and had considered following, but in the end had resisted. If she was interested in seeing him, she knew where to find him.

Or you could find her…

He shook off the errant thoughts. Yes, he liked her. Yes, he liked her dog too. Yes, life had seemed a bit less bright since their departure, even if his ordered world ran better without her chaos.

Finishing his coffee, he walked back to the kitchen and put his mug in the sink. He turned to go to his bedroom to finish getting ready for his day—he had a meeting with Nik at ten—then stopped short, staring at Pavlov’s leash, still hanging there from when Lucy had stayed with him.

She must’ve purchased a new one rather than come up here to ask for this one back.

His chest squeezed tight with regret.

Shoulders slumped, he shuffled to his bedroom in his stocking feet. The Bratva had caused Lucy and her family nothing but pain and trouble and much as he had distanced himself from that life by getting out, he was still a part of it. Always would be through his father and brother.

As he sank down on the edge of the mattress to pull on his boots, he shook his head. Logic said he shouldn’t care. He should put Lucy and all the madness surrounding her behind and move forward. Since fulfilling his family’s obligation to the local mafia bosses, he and Nik both had been let loose, so to speak. Nik had chosen to continue in his position as an enforcer. Ben? Not so much. Hell, he’d even signed up for those cooking classes at Le Cordon Bleu.

Life was finally moving in the direction he wanted.

So why was he looking back with sadness on the girl who’d run away?

It made no sense. It was absurd.

It was all he could think about these days.

Most nights he stared at the ceiling in the wee hours, debating whether he should call Lucy, or run downstairs to pound on her door, beg her forgiveness, and ask her for a second chance.

Hell, he’d even thought about going to the animal shelter to adopt a pup of his own just to have another heartbeat around the place.

Fuck.

Ben scrubbed his hands over his face and finally admitted the truth to himself.

He was lonely.

Lonely without Lucy.

He missed her laugh. He missed her dark, crazy hair and bright, sunny smile. He missed her soft skin and lush lips and the way she sighed his name as he pleasured her. Mostly though, he missed her quick wit and sharp tongue, the way she didn’t take his crap. Period. People rarely stood up to Ben once they saw his Bratva tattoos.

Lucy was brave and fearless and the way she’d put herself in between him and her father to keep Ben safe had touched him far more than he cared to admit.

“Shit.” He pushed off the bed and stomped over to grab his leather jacket off the hook on the wall. Air. That’s what he needed. Some fresh air and space to think and clear his head. He shoved his keys and wallet in his pocket then headed out the door, intent on heading toward the café where he was due to meet his brother in a few hours to discuss family business. He’d be way early, but that was fine.

Yet as he headed down the sidewalk, he found himself walking in the opposite direction, toward the park where Lucy had headed earlier. The closer he got to the area, the lighter his steps felt, the more he anticipated seeing her again, even if she told him to fuck off—which she just might.

He chuckled as he waited for the light at the corner to change. Given that they’d only known each other a short time, he wasn’t willing to call it love. He was far too jaded for that. He was, however, willing to say he was…interested.

Interested in getting to know Lucy without the sins of her father getting in the way, interested to see where things might lead between them.

Ben stopped at the edge of the small dog park and watched from behind a nearby tree as Lucy and Pavlov played. From the way the dog was jumping and barking, she seemed to be having some trouble controlling him. He knew just how to handle that. Control was his specialty, after all.

“Cton!” Stop! He commanded Pavlov in a firm, yet quiet voice. The huge dog immediately sat near Lucy’s feet, panting loud and staring at Ben with his dopey, delighted brown eyes. A rush of affection that nearly knocked him to his knees filled Ben as he emerged from behind the tree and walked over to scratch the dog behind his ears. “Good boy! You are such a good boy, did you know that, huh? Did you?”

The tapping toe of Lucy’s fuchsia flat soon drew his attention and he straightened, his gaze moving slowly from her feet upward—over the gorgeous curves, over that raven black hair with the bright pink streak, over those lips he could still taste if he closed his eyes.

“How did you do that?” she asked, her expression both wary and annoyed. “I’ve been trying to get him to sit for an hour. The lady at our obedience classes gave me all these exercises to do with him, but he doesn’t mind me at all.”

“It’s all about your energy, your attitude. Act as if you’re in charge and he will obey you.”

Lucy crossed her arms and raised one dark brow. “Still bossy, I see.”

“Still stubborn I see,” Ben countered, holding his ground before her. God, he’d even missed squabbling with her. He’d never met a woman who could verbally spar so well with him yet turn him on so much in a flash. Adrenaline and heat pumped through his bloodstream, but he took a deep breath and forced his libido to settle. If he decided to start over with Lucy, this time he’d take things slow, keep things under control. Cause yeah, that worked so well for him last time.

They stared at each other for several moments before Lucy finally cracked, giving him a small smile. “Touché.”

Pavlov stood and walked over to Ben sniffing his boots and the bottom of his jeans then flopping at his feet, belly up and tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth. Ben squatted down to pet him again, laughing.

Lucy exhaled slow, then chuckled. “He missed you.”

“Yeah?” Ben grinned at the dog’s squirming then squinted up at her in the bright sunshine. “Is he the only one?”

Her smile faltered slightly and she looked away.

“Look, Lucy,” Ben said, rising. “I’m not happy with the way we left things between us and I—I’d really like to start over fresh. Get to know you all over again without all your father’s issues between us. And I never did get your Borscht recipe either.”

She giggled at that, the sound tinkling around him like chimes, and the world brightened. Then she stared down at her feet, pushing a pebble around with the toe of her shoe. “I don’t know, Ben. I like you, I really do, but you’re Bratva. My mother will have a cow if she finds out.”

“I’m leaving.”

“What?” she looked totally confused and totally adorable.

“I’m leaving the business. After I got things sorted out with your father’s crimes, they let me choose to stay or go. Nik’s sticking around with them for a while longer, but I’m not. I have some money saved up.” He walked with her to a nearby bench and sat down. “I’ve decided to pursue my dream of owning my own construction company. Have interviews set up for later this week and everything. In fact,” he checked his watch, “I’m meeting Nik in about an hour for breakfast to discuss it. It’s time for me to break out on my own.”

“Wow. I’m really happy for you, that’s great.” She toyed with Pavlov’s leash in her hands, not meeting his gaze. “You’re really good at building things and remodeling, so you should do wonderful. And I know you’ll have the best business plan ever.”

“Thanks.” He grinned. “That’s true. And you should see my place. All done and ready to go. Even painted the place finally.” He sat back and stretched his arm along the back of the bench, not quite touching her but close enough to feel her heat through his clothes. “Maybe you can come up and cook me dinner again and see it.”

Her gaze snapped to his, that mischievous sparkle he’d missed so much lighting her green eyes. “Or maybe you can cook for me for a change and I’ll just relax while you work.”

“Maybe.” He grinned and looked around at the other people with their pets in the park. “I’ve missed you, Lucy.”

“Right.” She snorted. “Because you just love all the trouble I cause and my wild ways, huh?”

The bubble of warmth inside Ben he’d tried so hard to suppress burst, filling him with yearning for the lovely woman beside him. He turned to face her then, taking her hands in his and letting all his tightly-leashed emotions leak into his voice. “I do, honestly. I have missed you, Lucy. Crazy as that sounds. I’ve missed your goulash and your smile and your big heart. I love how you get into trouble and pull me in with you. But most of all I love your passion—for people, for life, for me. I miss seeing your face in the morning and I miss having Pavlov around too. He’s a big doofus, but he’s also pure joy and love and I miss all that. I miss you.”

She gave a little gasp and squeezed his fingers, tears welling in her beautiful eyes. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me, Ben Volkov.” She sniffled and smiled. “Ben, is that short for Benjamin?”

“Benedikt,” he said, using his full accent. “Is good Russian name.”

“Da.” She grinned, reaching up to trace her fingertips down his cheek. “It is.”

He kissed her palm then leaned in to kiss her lips. “Does this mean you’ll cook me more Borscht?”

“We’ll see, sir,” she said, winking before grabbing the collar of his black T-shirt and pulling his lips to hers. “We’ll see.”