30
I woke late, far later than normal. The bells for noon had rang two hours ago. After a meal that I tore into I talked with Adian.
He wanted to leave. Not forever. But for a while. We were brought together as children. We were given our commands and told what we were. We lived up to these commands. It was never commanded that he love me, only protect me. And how could you command love anyway? I believe we do love each other. He says he does. I believe him. But sometimes people want their space. And when they do, you don’t question the ‘why’. After seeing him talk about the ship, I have to admit that he is more than capable of being excited and swooned.
"Are you sure you can sail that ship out there?" I asked, breaking the round and round discussion we had fallen into about ourselves.
He stopped his next objection, and then nodded. "Yes. I’ve been reading about them since I arrived here. I’m sure doing it is different than the reading, but I’m also sure there’s not many who know more about that ship than I do."
"Some of the men in the fishing village, and some in the bay might be of use, don’t you think?" I asked.
"After all that’s happening, I need the space.”
I frowned and I wasn’t even too proud to hide it. “I don’t know how I feel about this,” I admitted.
He took my hands in his and focused his eyes on mine so intently, that I felt I could see his soul. “I am not leaving you,” he said. “And I am not leaving for long. While I’m away, I will miss you. I’ll carry you here,” he placed both our hands against his heart, “and I’ll miss you, every minute of every day. But I need this.”
“And I can’t command you to stay.” My voice held the lightness of humor, but it was only half felt.
“If you were only my queen, yes, you could command me to stay. But you are my lover first. And as my lover, you know deep down that this is best, even if you don’t want it to be true.”
“Just for a time,” I said.
“Just for a time,” he promised.
The corners of my mouth held a smile. “Captain Adian. Something about that rings way too sexy for me to forbid it.”
His excitement overruled his worry about us. I knew then I wasn’t going to ever lose him. He would be with me for life. My protector. One I could count on no matter what. One I could trust, always. I hoped that would be a long time for both of us. Not having him at all would have been a major loss for the realm.
"You realize this makes you the commander of my navy, whether that turns out to be a single ship or a hundred," I told him.
"It would be my honor, my’Lady," he said and smiled.
Now it was time to check on my guest.
*
"She’s sleeping. Since it’s probably the first time in days, I hesitate to wake her," Doctor Alexis said.
"How is Bryce?" I asked carefully.
"Better. I think. I’m making progress against the bacterial infection. I wanted to ask you something, though. Madb has been infected much longer, and it is far more progressed. What about the cure that Fenrir offered?"
I shook my head. "From all accounts, you might as well let her chew on the pufferfish. For the Kind, it’s a fifty-fifty, I’m told, and Fenrir is against using it for Bryce — even if it means his life. Trust me, I begged and I cried and I begged. He still said it was too dangerous, that the chances of killing him were higher than with the others. Madb wouldn’t stand a chance." The truth was, if Bryce really started to knock on death’s door, I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t force Adian to tell me what Fenrir did. But, for now, things were getting better, it seemed. And if we could find a cure outside of Fenrir, I needed to give it time.
She looked disturbed. "All of my efforts are experimental. And with the importance of my patient..."
"The importance or non-importance has no barring on your efforts, Alexis. You’re the best chance they have, and I’ll go to war defending that claim. If failure comes, failure can and will only help those who are to come. I believe in you."
She nodded, and thanked me, and appeared to be more confident. I understood her internal battle, having just been through one close to the same. Had word come that I lost Fenrir or Adian…Bryce or Karal — would I feel the same? I didn’t know, and couldn’t possibly guess.
I felt that I stood at a crossroads, like my mother and her mother before her had. The same choices, with so little information about them. Whether to be a leader and a commander or to be led by circumstance and fortune until my death at the hand of both.
I chose to command, and lead.
"You expect more, then?" she asked.
"Yes," I said, pacing a little. "You saw the message. She mentioned other zombie queens. I believe they use this ... bacteria, fungus, whatever it is, to take control of humans, and perhaps even Kind as well. Bryce spoke of a voice in his head. He said, her. A female voice, and Madb called her a queen. I expect to encounter this type of attack again, and unfortunately, soon. As tough as it might have been for Fen and Adian and Dorian to defeat May, it wasn’t tough enough. To me, that means she wasn’t running the show. Not even close."
"Oh. Well, I have good news on the pufferfish toxin. So at the very least, that’s a positive," she said, taking me from my speculative thoughts on the zombie queens.
"What is that?" I asked, happy to hear any good news.
She nodded and clasped her clipboard to her chest. "I was able to find the area where the fish stores it, and extract the toxin, and then create a serum that can be used to give measured doses. I asked for a couple of volunteers from the Kind, and they were more than happy as soon as they discovered what it was for. Apparently more than a few have been curious about beer and wine for some time. Anyway, for my purposes I feel much more comfortable about being able to administer an amount with an expected result."
An idea struck me. "And um, can you make this serum easily?"
"It’s just sugar water with a dose, and then set into the spinner, really. The good thing is that from there it’s measurable and predictable," she told me.
"That is good. And let’s say I wanted to spike a bottle of wine with enough to give a feel good, but not drunkenness?" I asked.
"I could do that," she said, carefully. "But it would still be lethal to humans. Very lethal."
"Hmm, that is a concern. It would need to be labeled clearly. Yes." I agreed.
"Umm?"
"I’m thinking that the Kind could use a drink, and it would be a major product for them if our locals seemed to enjoy the experience," I suggested.
"Enjoy? Well, yes, that’s a word that would describe the feedback I’ve received."
"What other words would describe your ... feedback?" I asked.
"Not counting the several offers for marriage and mating, and my own realm to rule as I please, I would say, loved, would be a good word." She offered, with shy words.
"Did you accept any of those offers?" I asked, grinning.
She blushed, "Um, well, one. He’s taking me out for diner later too, and, it was nice, last night. Very nice. I just hope he likes me as well as he liked the fish."
"If he doesn’t then he’s an idiot and we need to get rid of him," I told her. "Now about this guest of ours. Prognosis?"
"Critical," she said, her voice serious now. "Very critical. The infection is inside her inner ears, and in her spine. Getting it out is going to take an antibiotic that is beyond what I have right now."
"What about using the pig blood?"
She shrugged. "It’s an idea. Infecting a boar and then trying to cure it, sure. I’ll get on that right away. I was hoping Fenrir found something we could use or water down, but you’re right. Like the fish toxin, watered down wouldn’t mean squat for a human. They would be just as dead. There are things the Kind can stand that we cannot. Simple as that. Even our children, those sired from them, those who are not Kind, like yourself my’Lady, don’t have that strength or power. Their fortitude and potency is their own."
A thought struck me. "I’ve never looked into it, but did you know my father? My sire?"
"Of course, my’Lady. I delivered you. Ragnar, same as Iris, your sister," she said, off handedly like she wasn’t tearing apart my world.
After a few moments she looked up from her clipboard, "Oh goddess, she never told you? Why? Why would she keep that from you?"
"I ... um... I don’t know," I said, and then sat down in a nearby chair. "Perhaps she meant to, and didn’t have time."
"Twenty years seems like a lot of time," she scoffed, and then remembered herself. "Excuse me."
But I had no issue with the sentiment, or the tone. "Not to worry, I was thinking the same words myself."
"Oh dear, and I just rattled it off like it was common knowledge," she fretted.
"Is it?" I asked, my voice a bit breathless, as my shock still held sway.
She shook her head and sat next to me. "I doubt that now, seriously. I can’t imagine anything being common knowledge and escaping your attention so long. Not with Mark and your men. I’m a lab mouse. I work here — hell, I live here. I talk to patients about their issues, and rarely talk about anything else. She was probably wise enough to know that swearing me to secrecy would only draw attention to something I would never think about otherwise. And she was right, I never did." After a moment of thought she added, "I wonder if Mark or your men even know?"
"I thought she came as a trade, like they did. My men I mean." My voice stammering, as I attempted to put this together.
She glanced at my eyes and then down. Then recited, "Iris was her first. And through tradition, since she was born Kind, she should have been traded, yes. But your mother couldn’t do it. So, through the Temple, she sent her, and then got her back as if she were traded. I knew about that, and thought nothing of it. After that you had two brothers, who were traded, which brought Karal and Bryce. Then you were born and that was huge around here, since you were now the princess. Then you had another brother, and he brought Adian."
"And all of them were from...?"
"Yes, all of them from Ragnar. He was the only one she bred with. She took the medicine when he was not around and only quit when she knew he was returning."
"Only Ragnar?"
"She loved him." She said this, again, like it was nothing, and not pulling the ground out from my feet.
"She... loved him?" I asked.
"Deeply. Madly. Forever." Alexis agreed. "He was her king, for lack of a better word. He couldn’t stay here, because of that. Not with the taboo, and all of that. In sober moments they agreed in this, but as soon as he was gone she would come here and cry, begging me to make her sleep until he returned. I couldn’t do that, of course, but some wine and a mild sedative got her to bed and onto the next day."
"Oh my heart! Is Fenrir...?" I gasped.
"No," she said quickly. "No, he’s not Ragnar’s son. I would have said something with the way you two are together. No. Ragnar was Fenrir’s mentor, nothing more. Ragnar once told me that Fenrir was lost up north, trying to make sense of the humans and their ways. Apparently, it was a matter of sport for the humans as well, and Fenrir wasn’t all that clear on Kind ways either for that matter. He took him under his paw, and Fenrir traveled with him until..." she drifted off.
"Until?" I asked.
"You should ask Fenrir, about that. He’s here, and I’m sure he’ll know better than I. I don’t feel it’s mine to tell."
"I’m sure he’s around, but..."
"No, I mean, he’s here. He’s right over there, looking worried about your state, my’Lady."
I turned, and there he was, and he did look worried as he approached.
"Are you alright?" he asked softly, coming down on one knee next to me.
"I’m not sure," I told him, honestly. "I’ve just found out some news, and some history, and some of my foundations are broken."
"Good," he said.
"Good?"
"If they could be broken that easy, then it’s best to have it done as soon as possible," he reasoned.
That made sense. Why did he always have to make sense? "I think I need to talk to Iris."
He nodded, his eyes showing understanding, and after a moment said, "I’ll check on the pigs and come back at sun down. I’m curious about them."
And that’s why I loved him — another reason. He wasn’t going to help, or solve this or make it easier for me. My problem. I earned it. I could solve it, or I could ask for help if I needed it.
"Dinner then. And then I’d like to talk about Ragnar, if that would be alright?" I asked.
His nostrils flared slightly, but he said, "Yeah, it’s about time for that. Sure. Dinner then."
"My room?" I asked.
"What about Karal and Adian? Should they know as well?" he asked.
"I’ll tell them later. I’m sure there will be time." After he leaves me, after he travels away to keep out from under the stone above us named, Taboo, I thought.