Chapter Eighteen
Mia dashed around her grandmother’s house gathering clothes for Ben. It was six-thirty in the morning and neither she nor Adam had had much sleep, but she was running on adrenaline. Adam on the other hand, was slumped over the piano.
“Where are you getting your energy?” he asked. He was two cups of coffee ahead of her and twice as tired.
“I don’t know. I guess it’s just the rush of Ben coming home and…everything else.”
He picked his head up when she said, ‘everything else’ and smiled. “Everything else nearly killed me. I don’t know how you can even walk.”
She inched over to him and rubbed his back. “I’m sorry if it was too much. I couldn’t get enough of you.”
He made a low, guttural sound in his throat and grabbed her, pushing her against the piano. “Don’t tease me or I’ll show you that it wasn’t too much.”
“No, we’ll be late!”
“Exactly. Let’s see how you explain that to Nana.”
“Meanie,” she snipped.
He sat at the keyboard and fiddled with the keys, and that caught Mia’s attention. It actually sounded like something. “Do you play?”
“I took lessons for ten years.” To show her he did an impressive run up and down the ivories.
“Wow.” She smiled and hoped she didn’t seem too shocked that he had other layers. “I had no idea. Play something.”
“Nope.”
“Why?” Mia wanted him to play. Badly. This was a whole new side to Adam, and she wanted him to show her what he could do.
“I haven’t really played in about twenty years. My repertoire consists of Christmas carols, which I get roped into playing every year when we trim the tree. So, if you want,” he cracked his knuckles, “I can play Jingle Bells.”
Mia laughed and hugged him around the neck. “We’ll play a duet sometime.”
“Deal,” he said on a low chuckle. “Tell me something—how did you go from majoring in musical theater to being a college librarian?”
Mia sat next to him on the piano bench and started fiddling with the keys herself. “When I was in high school, there were two places outside the classroom I felt comfortable. The theater and the library.” She began to play something simple to give her hands something to do. “I was a bit of a wallflower in school, and those were my sanctuaries. So, when my dreams of the Broadway stage went south, I went to my other safe place. I got my graduate degree in Library Science.”
“It must have been hard for you, giving everything up.”
This was something Mia never talked about. Her mom never considered that she would do anything less, and being the dutiful daughter, she did give up everything that she’d been working toward. But those early years were a blur. “Honestly, when Sara first died, that’s what consumed me. My sister was dead. I had this baby. Ben was about a year old when it happened, so I didn’t think about much of anything. I went to school. Then I went to graduate school for what seemed like forever. I earned two master’s degrees in record time. The responsibility of it all didn’t really hit me until after I had come to grips with Sara’s death. When my father died, and my mother moved, that’s when I realized I was frozen in place. I was stuck. And my mom didn’t care.”
Adam took her hand, giving her his full attention.
“I had an okay job, a small apartment in the city, but no family close by. The few friends I had from high school or college were single and didn’t have to worry about child care.”
“I guess moving here with your nana was a no-brainer.”
“I guess.” That made her think. “Does that make me seem like an opportunist?”
He squeezed her hand. “No, it makes you smart.”
“My mother would send us to my grandparents for a month or so every summer. Her parents and my father’s parents. Once we were out of school for the summer, she didn’t know what to do with us. But I loved coming here. It was the best part of my year. I had friends, I had family… and I wanted Ben to experience that. To live in a place with good schools, and parks, and streets where he could ride his bike.”
Adam smiled when she mentioned the bike.
“I mean, Nana babysits occasionally, she gets mad when I don’t ask her, but I can also afford a babysitter if I want to. I have a better job and there are teenagers on my block who want to babysit. Who I can trust!”
Mia reflected on everything she was telling him. This could be enough emotional baggage to send Adam running for the hills, but so far, he was sticking, being supportive, being him.
“You have roots here, what kept your family away?”
“Oh, my mother hates it here. Anything east of the Midtown Tunnel, except for maybe the Hamptons, was off her radar. Said Compass Cove was stifling, boring, limiting. Pick an adjective. Once she left for college, she rarely came home. When I told her I’d made the decision to move here, she said it was just one more thing she could add to the list of why I’m her—” Mia sucked in a breath, and her eyes started to burn as she thought about what she was about to say. God, this hurt.
“What?”
“—why I’m her greatest disappointment.”
She’d never said that to anyone, even Nana, and soon big, fat tears were falling and she couldn’t get them to stop. Hearing herself say it out loud made it so much more real, made the rejection and disapproval that much more palpable. She had never been good enough for her mother. No matter how much she did right, or how much she accomplished, Mia was never good enough. There was nothing quite as awful as knowing your own mother didn’t love you.
“Oh, my God…” Adam cradled her head against his shoulder and she cried harder than she ever had. The pain from her childhood, her adolescence, every dig about her weight, her shape, her lack of social life—all of it came flooding to the surface. Forget being the favored child; all Mia craved was to be loved equally.
“Oh, Mia. Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.”
“She has no idea what’s happened to Ben. I don’t want to tell her because she’ll just use it to berate me. The thing is she won’t care how he is; it will be all about me screwing up.”
“How did you screw up?”
“Sports are the big no-no. Ben’s father was an athlete, and he abandoned my sister when she was pregnant. So as far as my mother is concerned, that means all athletes, and sports, are evil. She didn’t want him raised with the same ‘mindset’. I tried to honor her wishes, but…” The tears were still falling and now Adam was using the end of his sleeve to wipe her eyes. “It’s so stupid! How can I keep the child from being who he is? That’s just wrong.”
“You’re doing the right thing. Don’t think for one minute that you aren’t.”
“It’s hard sometimes. I’ve always been too fat, too quiet, too emotional… the list goes on.”
He didn’t say anything because, really, there wasn’t anything left to say. He held her, soothed her, and now he knew more about her than anyone else. People in Compass Cove knew Ellen DeAngelis was difficult, but no one knew this side of it. Mia had always kept quiet. “I always tried to figure out what was wrong with me. I mean, if my own mother can’t love me, there has to be something, right?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing. This is all on her.” Adam wasn’t letting go. His arms kept her securely against his chest as he gently dropped kisses on the top of her head.
“We need to go get Ben,” she said quietly.
“Are you okay? Do you need a minute?”
She shook her head and hugged him one last time. With that, she stood and went to get her purse and the bag of clothes they were bringing to the hospital.
“Mia?”
She turned and saw Adam was still sitting on the piano bench.
“If your mother thinks you’re a disappointment, then she knows nothing about the extraordinary person you are. Nothing I can say will fix that, but you’ve changed my life in ways you can’t imagine.”
There were no words. All Mia could do was walk over and kiss him. Holding his face in her hands, she kissed him, and kissed him. This man was everything, and Mia didn’t know what she’d done to deserve him.
*
Ben had a session with the physical therapist to learn how to use his crutches, but in truth the kid wasn’t going to feel like doing much the first few days. The anesthesia alone was going to knock the hell out of him. Adam helped him maneuver from the wheelchair to the front seat of his Mercedes where there was more than enough room for a bum leg. He didn’t drive this car much, but with four doors it had the space they needed to get Ben home.
Mia was going to drive her grandmother’s car home since Mrs. Lang had been up all night, and that left Adam alone with Ben. The poor kid looked wrecked. He may have slept, but it wasn’t a good sleep, and he said breakfast was crappy.
“Before I head to practice, I’ll hit the store and get you whatever you want. Junk food, snacks. I can grab a pizza from DiRaimo’s for lunch.”
“Thanks, Coach.”
“Everything okay, pal? I mean, I know injuries are the worst, but anything else?”
“I’m going to miss the end of baseball season. I can’t go to practice anymore with you, and now Aunt Mia won’t ever let me play anything again. I’ll be lucky if she lets me out of the house.”
He had to ask. “You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions, aren’t you?”
“It’s the truth. Aunt Mia worried about me playing, and look what happened.” He motioned to his casted leg. “This sucks.”
“You know, she and I were just talking about this. She’s more concerned about your grandmother going crazy, but she knows who you are and she respects it.”
“Really?”
“Really. And as far as the baseball team goes, go to games. Sit on the bench, keep score, cheer on your teammates. You can still be part of things even though you’re hurt. You can still come to football games and sit on the sidelines.”
“Aunt Mia won’t mind?”
“Like I said, she’s more worried you won’t do those things. She’s also worried about how your grandmother is going to react.”
“Grandma hates sports, unless it’s golf or tennis. She definitely won’t like you.”
Adam laughed. “Well, that will be too bad for her, because I’m not going anywhere.”
There was silence for a few minutes and then Ben spoke again. “Are you going to date Aunt Mia since she broke up with Noah?”
“How did you know about that?”
“I heard Nana on the phone with Zia Lina. She was pretty happy about it.”
He couldn’t imagine Mrs. Lang just blurting that out in front of Ben, and then he remembered the baseball game. Or rather, after the baseball game.
“Were you pretending to be asleep again?”
Ben smiled. “Yeah. It’s the only way I find out anything. So, are you dating her?”
There was a lot more than dating going on, but he sure wasn’t going to mention that to Ben. “Yes.”
“Finally! You guys took long enough. Just don’t kiss in front of me. It’s gross.”
Adam grinned. This was actually getting funny. “You know what? If she wants to kiss me, I’m going to let her. Someday you’ll understand. For now, you’ll adjust.”
Ben grumbled a little but Adam guessed he was happy about the development. Ben’s approval was good news. That was going to make Mia feel more comfortable with everything, maybe even about her mother.
*
At nine o’clock that night, Adam pulled into the driveway at Mia’s and saw the lights on in the kitchen. He’d left them at about two in the afternoon before going to practice, and then a meeting with admissions and all his coaches about next year’s recruits. He was wiped—unsurprising, since he only got about ten minutes of sleep the night before.
Not hesitating, he went to the kitchen door and let himself in. This felt like another home to him because Mia was there. Wherever she was would be home. It was a new feeling for Adam, and he liked it.
However, when he stepped into the kitchen, the only one there was Mrs. Lang. His old teacher was standing barefoot at the sink, in Yoga pants and a t-shirt, washing dishes. On the iPod was the old Neil Diamond song, “Forever in Blue Jeans” and she was swaying to the music. She turned when she heard him step into the room and smiled. Adam should have felt welcome, but the smile made his stomach lurch, and he went right back to high school. The last time he saw that look, he got lectured.
“Adam, I’m glad you’re here.”
Oh yeah, he was going to get it. Some things didn’t change. Shit. He dropped into one of the kitchen chairs. “What did I do?”
Grabbing a dishtowel and drying her hands, she laughed and took the chair adjacent to his. “What did you do? Is there something I need to know?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know.”
“Okay,” she said and patted his hand. “I do want to talk to you.”
He relaxed a little. A very little, because he figured she probably wanted to talk about Mia. Adam was ready and blurted out the first thing that came into his head. “I care about her. I really do.”
Mrs. Lang smiled and nodded. “I know, and I know you care for Ben, too. But this is new for her. Be mindful of that.”
“This is new for all of us.” Both he and Mia were in uncharted territory.
“I don’t want her to get hurt, Adam. She’s been through so much.” There was a crack in her usually cheerful veneer, and he saw the fear, the worry. This whole family had been through hell.
There was no hesitation; Adam took his teacher’s hand, seeing her for the first time like a person, not the woman who busted on his ass about homework.
“I don’t plan on it, and I’ll protect them from anyone who tries.”
“She’s taken a lot of hits over the years, my poor Mia.”
“Yeah, from people like your daughter.” The comment shot out like a bullet. Damn. Watching her reaction, he knew it was something he should have kept to himself, but it was out there now with no way to take it back.
“I know. I’ve tried to be a buffer, but it’s not always easy. Ellen is a force of nature and I don’t mean that in a good way. She’s very hard. Very aloof. She’s a lot like my mother. Mia’s more like me, and like her father, Ted. He was a good man.”
“Someone needs to talk to her, and if that has to be me, fine.”
“I’ve had more than one talk with her,” Mrs. Lang said. Now he was getting a different look, one that was more serious. “I didn’t know she’d told you about her mother.”
More than she told you, he thought. “Look,” he began, “I don’t know how a parent could be so cold toward their own child. Especially someone like Mia. I was a complete asshole and my family stood by me, so be sure—I will not let her unload on Mia. About anything.”
“Did Mia tell you very much?”
“She told me enough.” Thinking about her this morning, about how distraught she became when she talked about her mother, made him want to protect her. Just from that short conversation, Adam knew Ellen DeAngelis was toxic.
Still, he was surprised when Mrs. Lang lunged at him, hugging him fiercely. “You go to the head of the class, Adam. Thank goodness. Someone needs to stand up to Ellen. I don’t know why Ted never did. He was a lovely, intelligent man who served his country with honor, but he needed to grow a pair.”
Huh?
“Really? Did you just say grow a pair?” Not what he was expecting.
She smiled. “I did. My daughter walked all over him. It made me sad. Ted deserved better.”
When she looked at him, he saw tears pricking the corners of her eyes. Jesus, he thought, what did I do now?
“Adam, I know you always thought I didn’t like you, but deep down I knew you were a good kid. A pest to be sure, but a good boy.”
“I think pest is too nice; I was a pain in the ass.”
“Maybe so, but you’ve grown into an exceptional man, and I’m so happy you and Mia found each other.”
There were gifts, and then there were unexpected gifts that meant everything. Mrs. Lang’s approval fell into the latter category. “It took me a long time to get here, and I still don’t think I’m good enough for her.”
“You got here exactly when you were supposed to, and as long as Mia thinks you’re good enough, that’s all that matters.”
He had to remember that, because as long as she would have him, he wasn’t going anywhere. And he wasn’t going to let anyone make her feel inferior. His concern was Mia; nothing mattered more than she did.
And considering that a few years ago all he cared about was himself, coming to this point was a big deal.
The last twenty-four hours had been full of moments like this. Big and small. Mia had changed his life for the better, but now he had to bring it back to something practical. He’d remembered they were all supposed to go to Massachusetts, to Mia’s uncle’s house for Thanksgiving and even though it was over a month away, traveling with Ben in his condition wasn’t a good idea. “I talked to my grandmother tonight and she wanted me to invite all of you for Thanksgiving. It’s not going to be easy to travel with Ben, and she’d love to have everyone.”
“Oh, honey, that’s sweet of her. It sure would make everything easier.”
“We’ll talk about it as the time gets closer, but…” He rose and she did the same. “Right now, I’m going to check on Ben and see Mia for a few minutes.”
“I think they’re both asleep, but regardless, they’ll be happy to see you. I couldn’t believe Mia crashed the way she did.” Adam stopped by the kitchen door and looked back at Mrs. Lang, who had an honest to God gleam in her eye. “You’d think she didn’t sleep a wink last night.”
Adam barely managed to keep himself from smiling. The woman still knew how to push his buttons.