The walk to school gave me plenty of time to think.

With each step I took, the dread inside me grew like a stone in the pit of my belly. I had no idea how I was going to get through today.

I’d have to face Jesse in chemistry, if not before then.

It was cold out, and I could hardly feel my ears and nose anymore. Or my cheeks. I blew my breath out steadily, wondering if it would snow this December.

When I finally did get to school, the secretary in the front office sounded annoyed at the fact that I was late again, this time by a good forty-five minutes.

“Reason?” she asked, fingers poised on her keyboard.

“I didn’t have a ride this morning,” I said, adjusting the straps of my backpack on my shoulders. I realized I was tapping my foot, so I stopped. I looked at the clock on the wall as she typed. First period was just about over.

“Maybe you should consider taking the bus,” she said, jotting down the time on the hall pass she was making me.

I took it, giving her a fake smile worthy of Lindsay. “Thanks.”

I walked to class, stopping at my locker to grab the books I needed for my next couple of classes and really wishing I had stayed home after all.

The bell rang as I arrived at math. Mr. Nguyen didn’t look happy with me.

He pursed his lips and gave me a worksheet with page numbers from the book scribbled on top.

“Due tomorrow,” he said.

I nodded. “Thanks, Mr. Nguyen.”

Instead of being invisible in the hallways with other people’s eyes sliding automatically over me, people stared.

They stared on the way to class. They stared in class, especially when the teacher called on me. Then they stared and whispered again when I sat down in the cafeteria at lunchtime.

For the few minutes before Rey, Harper, and Lena showed up, I let myself wallow in self-pity. How had everything gotten so bad?

Just a couple of weeks ago, everything had been great. Jesse and I talked every day. I started having lunch with Lena, Rey, and Harper. I hadn’t had friends like them since elementary school.

Now Lindsay and Courtney hated me more than ever.

And things with Jesse were broken. I was hoping last night that maybe he’d message me. Or that I’d find the courage to message him.

But how could I after the way he’d looked at me in the gym? He hated me. He hated the fact that I lied to him. That I was too much of a chicken to tell him the truth when I had the chance.

I felt the frog in my throat swell up. But the only thing that could possibly make everything worse would be to break down right here in the cafeteria.

So, I clenched my mouth shut and forced the tears back down.

The sound of trays landing on the table made me look up.

It was Harper and Rey.

“You okay?” Harper asked, her kind eyes meeting mine for a second.

I looked away. “I’m fine,” I made myself say, but I hated the feeble way my voice sounded.

I scanned the cafeteria, and sure enough, there were some people staring at me again. One guy outright pointed and laughed.

“Ignore them,” Harper said. “They’re dumb.”

“Yeah,” Rey said, putting her hand on my shoulder. “They’re just typical dumb guys. They have the worst sense of humor.”

I focused on my tray of untouched food and my phone resting next to it. I should have been happy to have it back, but everything had gone wrong.

I hated high school. I hated my stepsisters and the way they treated me. My stepmom too.

Why couldn’t I go away to college now? Not next year.

I looked at the table where Jesse and his friends sat every day, but he wasn’t there.

He was always there.

But I guessed today he didn’t feel like having anything to do with me, not even sitting in the same cafeteria.

Lena sat down in front of me, blocking my view of Jesse’s table.

“Hey, you guys,” she said. When I didn’t respond, she turned to me. “Ella, you need to hold your head up. Don’t let a guy get you down. If he doesn’t love you for who you are, then you’re too good for him.”

I nodded. Darn. The frog was back.

I hardly heard the rest of the conversation at lunch. The next thing I knew, it was over. Then I was walking to chemistry.

He was already there when I walked in. I froze as soon as I saw him. He glanced at me for a single second before turning around to face forward, then looked down at his desk.

I glanced around the classroom. Everyone had been chatting, but now all eyes were on us, and I could tell they were wondering if I was going to go up and talk to him. Give them something else to look at.

But then the bell rang, and I took a seat as Mr. Green started class.

Once again, I was too chicken to take a little initiative and talk to Jesse.

At least the entire class went by without me having to do much. The teacher had us take notes the whole time, and I concentrated on the task at hand, even if I couldn’t process what he was saying. I could review my notes tonight, when disappointed Jesse wasn’t five feet away.

In computer class, I went straight to our text messages. I blinked at the screen as I thought of what to type out.

Jesse, I

I hit the backspace key until the message was gone and went back to my assignment.

I had no idea what I was supposed to say.

Part of me was hurt too. Couldn’t he have been a little more understanding? Seen how hard it had been for me to put myself out there?

I had been ready to meet him at Homecoming, hiding behind a mask. But that day in chemistry, I just couldn’t.

The final bell rang, and I headed to the bus, glad for once to be going home.

As I walked there, I looked out to the student parking lot. My closest friend was out there. And I had lost him.

That night, as if sensing how bad of a day I had, Sophia told me I needed to deep-clean the kitchen.

“It’s been ages since that oven’s been cleaned, and this floor…” She sneered down at it as if she’d get something on her shoes. “I’m going to start having some company over for the holidays, and it’s a disgrace. Clean the inside of the cabinets while you’re at it. And book the carpet cleaners to come in sometime next week.”

I had just mopped the floor yesterday, but I didn’t say that.

“Okay, Sophia,” I said. There went my night of studying for my big history test tomorrow. Not to mention looking over my chemistry notes.

I grabbed the bucket, the big sponge used for the hardwood floors, and the rest of the cleaning supplies.

Lindsay and Courtney walked in from the garage to find me scrubbing, trails of hair in my face. They smirked at my yellow gloves and headed upstairs.

I scrubbed at the floor even harder, wishing my life was different.

It was late by the time I got done with Sophia’s list of chores. Almost midnight.

The girls had group messaged me. My phone had buzzed with notifications a few times, and I had been pretty sure it was them, but I stuck the phone in my pocket instead of answering.

I climbed slowly up the stairs, my arms and back aching.

Maybe I should stay home tomorrow. I couldn’t imagine things going any better then. Maybe I’d make everyone breakfast and climb back into bed when they left.

But Sophia would get a phone call from the school letting her know I hadn’t shown up. I was pretty sure she’d find several more rooms for me to deep clean if she got that kind of phone call.

I made it to my room and closed the door.

I crawled into bed and closed my eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come. I groaned into my pillow because I was so tired but not sleepy at all.

Childhood memories surfaced, and my mind turned to my dad. He used to tell me stories at bedtime. He made my favorite one up, waiting until I was snuggled in his chest to begin it the same way as always.

“Once upon a time, there was a princess named Ella. She was smart and beautiful, but most of all, she was kind.”

This was when I would put my arms around him and close my eyes, my breathing slowing and steadying with every word that reached my ears. Then he would pull the covers up to my chest and tell me the rest of the story.

A story of a princess named Ella, trapped at the top of a tower guarded by a dragon, forever gazing up at the stars and wishing she was free. And of handsome, charming princes in shining armor coming to her rescue but never succeeding. Never defeating the giant, fire-breathing dragon.

And so the princess stayed in the tower, and I always wondered when the right prince would finally arrive to save her.

I loved imagining that my life was a fairy tale. That I was really a princess, and my dad would ride in on his majestic horse to save me. That was before I grew up and found out about boys.

My dad never did tell me the ending to that bedtime story. I asked him if the princess would be trapped in that tower forever, always waiting. He never gave me a straight answer, though, saying I had to figure out the ending for myself.

“But it’s a fairy tale,” I would tell him. “It has to have a happily ever after. Right?”

What I didn’t realize back then, though, was that life wasn’t like a fairy tale.

There was no guaranteed happily ever after.

After another minute of trying to fall asleep and failing, I got up and turned on my lamp.

My eyes went straight to the picture of me and my dad. He’d given it to me not long before he’d died. We looked so happy in that moment.

I checked my phone, still in bed.

Maybe a warm shower would help me get to sleep. Then I saw an email in my student inbox. It was from Tori.

Hey,

Just wanted to say hi and hope you’re feeling better. Also, sorry I never joined the group chat thing. I guess I wasn’t in the right place and didn’t think it would help. But you guys seem pretty close and pretty cool. Don’t pay too much attention to Lindsay and Courtney. They give all cheerleaders a bad name. I made them run bleachers today :) thought I’d help karma get on its way.

Tori

P.S. Here’s my number if you ever want to text. I hate email.

I smiled. No wonder they’d come home so sweaty. I liked Tori. She was different, that was for sure. She had her own way of seeing things, seeing justice.

I wished she had joined our group. It probably would have been even better with her. But Tori was a cheerleader. She had her own group of friends. The cheerleaders stuck together. They didn’t really make other friends.

I looked at the number at the bottom of my email. She was probably just worried about me. I added it to my contacts anyway and sent her a smiley face to let her know that I’d gotten her email and that I thought it was cool.

She sent the same emoji back right away. Then a message.

Tori: Lindsay didn’t give you any trouble, did she? I sent her a little text last night saying she better not mess with you.

So Tori had been the one to keep Lindsay at bay. Considering she could have gone to Sophia, I was lucky she had gone for my bike instead.

Ella: No trouble :) Thanks.

I ignored the other new messages on my phone and instead went to the thread that was mine and Jesse’s.

I scrolled all the way to the beginning and started reading, sometimes smiling, sometimes laughing. Sometimes shedding a tear.

When I was done, I went back to the rest of my messages. My eyes were finally wanting to close for the night.

There were messages from Harper, Lena, and Rey, all saying things would go better tomorrow.

My phone fell onto my pillow as my eyes shut on their own, my breathing deepened, and I fell asleep, not bothering to turn off my lamp.