Koa had fallen asleep in my lap and I’d followed, drifted until his small snore woke me up. It was late, later than I’d ever stayed at the lake house and I contemplated just crashing on the sofa. But my first class of the day at the studio the next morning would come early and the drive across the lake would take me a while, especially in the ratty car I’d picked up from a suspicious looking used car dealer. It couldn’t be helped. I had a job on the Northshore now.

I tucked the little man into his bed and headed down the hallway, expecting to find Keira still snoozing on the sofa as she waited for Kona to return from the game. But she wasn’t there and as I listened, her soft laughter and Kona’s deep voice coming from behind their closed bedroom door and I decided to leave without a goodbye that night.

The smile on my face lowered just a bit as I passed the patio doors and caught Ransom sitting on an Adirondack chair with his hands tucked into the pocket of his hoodie and his face turned toward the dark lake. He stretched his neck and looked up, his profile perfect against the reflection of the moonlight on the water. I could have watched him all night—the fleshy plump of his beautiful mouth, the sharp edge of his nose and that subtle cleft on his chin. I could have watched him, thought about touching him, thought of ways I’d invent to smooth out the worried wrinkle on his forehead and relax the hard dip of his eyebrows. Maybe I would have stayed there, just watching him, but then Ransom turned his head again and caught me staring.

The look he gave me wasn’t shocked, it didn’t seem like anything could surprise him and at first, caught in the act, I’d felt my face flame with heat, but pushed I it down, lifting my eyebrows when he nodded me over.

The night was cool, hinting that October was only a week away and I wrapped my arms tight around my waist, shooting for disinterest as I stepped out onto the patio and stood next to his chair, my gaze focused on the lake. “Did you guys win?” I asked him, still watching the waves.

“Yeah,” he said, sounding bored. “But you don’t care about that.” There was a laugh in his voice that I hadn’t heard before and when I glanced at him, I blinked twice, trying not to wonder why he was staring at me.

But, he did have me pegged. I really didn’t care that much about football. “Can’t deny it.”

The patio was a little cluttered, a task I’d handle later in the week, and as I ticked off where the towels and barbeque utensils could be stored, Ransom nudged my leg, bringing my attention back to him.

He pointed to the leg rest on his chair, bending his knee to make room for me. “Stop thinking of shit you’re going to work on out here and sit.”

“Nah, I need to get back home. Early class in the morning.”

He sighed, completely ignored me and pulled me onto the chair with a tug on my wrist. “It’s not even midnight. Sit down and talk to me a little.”

And I did, because he’d asked. I did because even then, a handful of voice lessons into our rehearsals, before that kiss in the studio, Ransom had me. He’d had me with a head nod. He’d had me with a smile that I knew he hadn’t meant. I was pathetic and weak and because I was, I sat next to Ransom and we watched the lake together, not speaking much, not doing anything but keeping each other’s quiet company.

“You sounded good on Wednesday,” he finally said when I thought he might have nodded off. “Your voice is so much stronger now.”

“Thanks.” There wasn’t much to say and no need to disagree. I felt like I was better and I knew it was because of him. But, he didn’t need me to stroke his ego.

“You nervous about the audition?” I nodded, moving my gaze off the water and onto his face as he leaned back against the chair. His features were soft just then, relaxed and I didn’t think I’d ever seen him look more beautiful. There wasn’t any worry tensing up his expression and I’d have given anything to keep him that beautiful, that free of the shit dragging him down. “You want me to go?”

“You don’t have to bother, Ransom,” I said, not wanting to ask more from him than he’d already given.

“Hey.” His fingers on my hand, curling around my thumb felt warm, safe and when my gaze flashed to his, I said a silent prayer that he wouldn’t pull his hand away. “I wanna be there. You need a cheerleader and someone to look at when you sing.” He squeezed my thumb and then leaned back, taking that unanswered prayer with him. “You know, now that you can actually look at me when you sing.”

“Shut up,” I said, rolling my eyes at him.

“I don’t mind, Aly. I really don’t.”

I thought I did. I thought him being there, being what I focused on, would distract me because I needed to sing my kontantman. And he didn’t know, not then, not nearly two months later, Ransom had no idea that when I sang, it wasn’t the lyrics or melody that made me sing my joy. It was him. Only him. He was my joy.

“Yeah,” I’d said, watching the water again, too scared that if I looked at him, he’d see everything I wanted to keep hidden. “Yeah, I want you there.”

He didn’t show.

I stood on that stage, bunching up the side of my dress between my fingers, knowing that I’d leave wrinkles, scanning the spattering of people who sat in the nearly empty auditorium. Ransom wasn’t among them. My heart pounded, my stomach coiled and emptied and I thought I’d be sick, that all of this was too much—my walking away from the family I loved, the hatred and rage in Ransom’s eyes when I took off my mask, the accusation in Leann’s tone when she asked why the hell I’d abandoned Koa. The day hadn’t been a good one for an audition that would determine the next four years of my life.

But I come from a long line of fierce women. My grann had been one, had tried to help me unlearn the bullshit my father wanted me to take as gospel. My mother, Grann had told me, had been fierce as well. She loved hard and fought harder to keep that love inside her when her family flung insults at her, when the world around her promised I would never be anything but an accident she couldn’t fix. Those two fierce women, and the hundreds before them who made up the curve of my hips, the green tint of my eyes and deep pout of my lips, those who’d engendered my stubbornness, my talent, that desperate, abiding need to overcome, all spun through my head as I stepped on that stage. They shouted at me to be bold. They told me to forget my fear and the shame.

He doesn’t matter right now, I heard my Grann whisper. You do.

And so I didn’t look at the audience when I sang. I didn’t do anything but smile at the small table in front of the stage and the men and women who held clipboards in front of them. I sang about wild horses, because I was one. I sang from my belly, because that’s where my passion burned the deepest. I sang with my head held high, with my voice sharp and loud and lulling because that’s what Ransom had taught me. I didn’t sing for him or those judges. I sang for me and the tomorrow I wanted.

For the first time in my life, I sang with a joy that was self-induced.

And I was good.

When the clapping and cheers died down and I’d returned the smiles given to me at that front table, I left the stage feeling good, better than I had in days. I had nailed that audition. I’d nail the dance audition the next week. But reality loomed and I needed to be back at the studio for my first practice with Tommy. It was my hurry and that leftover accomplishment drunk that distracted me when I walked to the parking lot and saw Leann sitting on the hood of her car.

I’d blown her off the other day, not really eager to confess what I’d done to Ransom or why. Leann loved me in her own, bitchy, smartass way, I knew that. But she was still just my boss and Ransom was her blood. I knew where her loyalties would lie if I’d made my confession to her. I didn’t want to risk that, not before. Now it looked like I didn’t have a choice.

“Hey,” she said, pulling her attention away from her phone as I approached. “That was fucking glorious.” She nodded toward the auditorium.

“You heard my audition?”

When Leann only tilted her head, dropped her phone on the hood of her car like it was the least important thing to her in the world, my mouth fell open, surprised by her shock. “Aly, of course I heard you. Did you think…” she exhaled, offered me her hand to help me onto her car. “Something I don’t think you have ever quite gotten is that I love you, kid.”

“Leann…”

“I don’t say that just to say it, you know.” My body swayed a little when Leann pushed me with her elbow. She looked over at me, knuckle on her chin and smiled, like I was simple, a little ignorant how she felt. “Keira got pregnant with Ransom before we were even twenty. I followed her lead the next year. You think I don’t know how hard it is, struggling on your own? You don’t think I get that you want to succeed and do whatever the hell you can to get your head above water?” She took my hand and held it on her knee. “Sweetie, no one wants you to kick ass more than I do. No one will scream louder for you when you do that ass kicking.”

I couldn’t look at her, not directly. My eyes had gone too blurry. “I thought, maybe you were mad at me, because I quit on Keira.”

“Oh, Aly, I know why you quit.”

“No, Leann, you don’t.”

That smile was wide, a little wicked. “You love Ransom. He loves you but he is such a knuckle head and can’t let go of the past and you, sweetheart, aren’t the type of woman who likes walking behind shadows.” She squeezed my hand. “Or ghosts.”

“I really screwed up,” I told her, ignoring the frown she gave me. “I screwed up bad, Leann.”

She didn’t give me an invitation to explain and I didn’t wait for one. Instead, I told my boss everything. I glossed over the year and a half of me pining after Ransom like some stupid groupie. She knew that part already. But I confessed about the dance—God, not everything about it—and him kissing me, twice and the last dance that I promised her I’d ever perform at Summerland’s. When I was done, I didn’t feel the weight of my fear leave me. Not immediately, not until Leann’s eyes relaxed and her grip on my fingers tightened.

“Well,” she started, releasing a breath. “I’m not happy about you messing around with Ironside. That man is disgusting bottom feeder and he likes to take advantage of young, pretty girls. That was something I’d asked Misty to watch out for when she called me to ask after you for the choreography gig.”

“You know her?”

Leann’s laugh was light, but sounded generally amused. “Honey, New Orleans isn’t that big of a city. Yeah, I know her. She’s smart, a little ruthless, but still smart.” She nodded once, as though answering her own silent question and then continued. “I don’t want you to go back there.”

“I won’t. Don’t worry.” No way I’d step foot in that place again. I was sticking to the college thing and depending on what the judges thought of my performance, keeping to CPU as often as I could. Besides, Summerland’s held too much bad for me and I was full up with that shit.

Leann stretched her neck and I thought maybe she was done with our conversation, but then she glanced at me, holding her elbows on her knees and kept her eyes in a squint and I knew the lecture was coming. “As for you quitting on Keira, I’ll be honest, it hurt them. Koa especially. He misses you. You should go back.”

“Leann…”

She wouldn’t let me finish, shook her head to cut me off. I didn’t put up much of a fight and I doubted my weak explanation would make much of an impact anyway. “Sweetie, I love Ransom like he’s my own kid and I love you too.” She nudge me again, Leann’s form of affection. “Whatever happens between the two of you, will happen. Maybe you can mend things with him and try to be his friend. Maybe you can’t, but Keira and Kona need you and no matter what happens with Ransom, you don’t run out on people who need you. Especially if you love them.”

And I did love them. They meant a lot to me in a very short time. But I thought walking away would be for the best. I thought not being around anything or anyone that reminded me of Ransom would help me forget that expression on his face or the obvious hatred in his eyes before he left me alone in that private room.

“Sometimes,” Leann continued, “we have to take one for the team.” I had no idea what she meant, but let her continue. “Sometimes, though it hurts us, we have to walk through shit to get the people we love to the shore.”

“You saying I shouldn’t let Ransom keep me from helping out Keira?”

Leann smiled and winked at me. “Pretty, talented and smart. Look at you, Miss Triple Threat.” She ignored the quick finger salute I gave her and moved the smile from her face, giving me that quiet, serious stare I’d only seen from Leann a couple of times. “Do what you think is best but remember, sweetie, you are loved, you are needed and, hell, you shouldn’t just walk away. Not from us.”