“Sit up.” Ellie sat next to me on my bed and nudged my right shoulder. We’d been doing this every night for a month so far, ever since I came home for good. We’d either hang out in my room, or on the couch, and watch whatever was on while soaking up as much time as we could. After the summer ended, she’d start her teaching job, and I’d be left alone.

It’d taken me a while, and many bribes, but Ellie had finally given up on finding a summer job. She hated the idea of living with me without any income until fall, but when I gave her the puppy-dog eyes and pouty lip, crying about how lonely I’d be while she served lattes at the local Starbucks, she relented. If I could’ve gotten away with having her at home every day, all year round, I would’ve. But she’d never go for it. Ellie Teller wasn’t the kind of girl who’d let someone else take care of her—not even her best friend. I’d paid for her college, to which she’d given me an IOU. I’d thrown it out, and she wrote me a new one. This went on for a while before I gave up and kept the stupid piece of paper.

And the deposits into my bank account didn’t go unnoticed, either.

She still hadn’t picked up on the random cash in the dryer with her laundry. Just thinking of her excitement when she “found” money while washing her clothes still brought a smile to my face. Although, if she really thought about it, that only happened when I was home. Yet it was the only way I could return the money without her throwing it back in my face.

I rolled my head on the pillow and blinked slowly at her as if she’d spoken another language. “It doesn’t hurt tonight. I’ll be fine. Let’s just watch the show.” Then I turned my attention back to the flat screen mounted on the wall above my dresser.

“Shut up and move. I won’t tell you again.” Her authoritative, yet silly tone made me groan until I was upright, where she fitted herself between my body and the stack of pillows behind me. Her hands instantly went to my left shoulder and neck, massaging away the aches and pains that lingered. “Just because you’re not playing anymore doesn’t mean you can’t still do your exercises,” she lectured from behind me.

“I am.” It was a lie…mostly. I hadn’t been going to physical therapy the way I should’ve if I were still on the team, but I hadn’t given up completely. Truth be told, the reality of permanent damage scared the shit out of me. Then again, the darkness of a future lost kept me from doing much about it. It was one of those things I figured I wouldn’t have to worry about if I didn’t think about it. Stupid, I know.

“Coby…you forget I’m with you almost every single day. I can tell when you’re taking care of yourself and when you’re not. You heard the doctor. If you let the muscles rest too much, they’ll lock up, and if that happens, you’ll never get back full range of motion.”

“What do I need a full range of motion for, Ellie? Huh? I’m never gonna play again.”

Her hands stopped moving, but they didn’t fall away. “Don’t be stupid. For someone who literally fell into baseball, you’re acting like you’ve eaten, slept, and breathed it your entire life. Whatever happened to the boy who played for fun?”

“He gave up his future for a sport that failed him.”

“The sport didn’t fail him, Coby. His arm did.” She didn’t have to say anything else. The rest was implied: I’d failed myself when I kept the pain a secret, when I didn’t come forward about it, and more importantly, when I lied to the team and went behind everyone’s backs to have surgery. “You’re twenty-two. What happens when you have kids and can’t swing them around because you convinced yourself you didn’t need a full range of motion in your arm? Or when you get married and can’t twirl your bride around on the dance floor?”

“I think you’re jumping the gun just a tad there, E.T.”

“But I’m not.” She picked back up on the massage, carefully kneading the tense area along the side of my neck. “If you won’t do it for yourself, then at least do it for me. Okay?”

“You sayin’ you wanna marry me and have my nerdy kids?”

Her airy giggle drifted along my back. “Nah. That’d be too weird.”

“Having sex with me would be weird? You didn’t say that four years ago when I rocked your world.”

“How could I forget the best thirty seconds of my life?” she asked dryly. “I’m serious, Coby. You can’t sit around here moping forever. One of these days, I’m going to meet a nice guy, get married, and move out. Then what will you do?”

“Let me get this straight…” I peered over my shoulder. “You’re going to get married, and then move out?” Even out of the corner of my eye, I could see the look she gave me—the quirked eyebrow, curled lip, the one that called me stupid without saying a single word.

“Don’t make me hit you. You know what I mean. You had everything planned out four years ago, and then you took the team to the semifinals. That was the turning point for you—when all those scouts showed up. Out of nowhere, you were hit with the state championships, more scouts, an agent, the draft, and then the big time. Just because baseball isn’t in the cards anymore doesn’t mean your life is over. You need to dig in and figure it out. Not just sit here and slowly die.”

I heard what she was saying, but it wasn’t that easy to snap out of it. “What am I supposed to do, Ellie? I didn’t go to school. I gave that up to play ball, remember? So what do I have left?” It sounded ridiculous to ask, considering we were currently sitting on my large bed, inside a big room with a massive TV in front of us. I had a bank account I couldn’t possibly deplete in ten lifetimes, and more free time than anyone could use. I sounded spoiled and pathetic.

But at least Ellie knew me well enough to see past the words.

“School isn’t out of the picture. It’s still an option if that’s what you decide to do.”

“Alone? I think not. We were supposed to do it together.”

“Does it matter? I’m still here. I have a job in town—well, twenty minutes away, but it’s still considered local. I’m not going anywhere, Coby. If you need me, I’ll be there for you. Always.”

“Yeah, until you get married and then move out.” I needed a reprieve from her lecture. Nothing she said was wrong, but right now, it was the last thing I wanted to hear. “Speaking of getting married…heard anything from Milli Vanilli?”

She went silent yet continued to massage my shoulder. Ellie didn’t care to talk about Ryan, just as I would’ve liked to avoid all talk regarding the future. If I had my way, I’d live in the moment, right here with my best friend, but she didn’t let me do that, so I wasn’t going to let her off the hook, either. Not to mention, if it got her off my case about baseball and the funk I’d fallen into, then all’s fair in…baseball and exes.

“Nothing. Then again, he’d be stupid to try to contact me.”

“What happened? You never did tell me.”

“There’s nothing to tell. We wanted different things, and we both went about getting them in a different way. No point in staying together if we couldn’t be on the same page. It happens, I guess.” It was a lie, but I’d have to accept it as the truth.

I’d assumed something had happened as soon as she came back from his house—the bruises on her arm were proof of that. However, she refused to talk about it then, or any other time since. I’d asked a few times, but I never got more than “nothing happened.”

“So who do you think ‘A’ is?” she asked, deflecting once more. I’d let her, simply because I understood what it was like not to want to talk about something. I’d done it to her minutes earlier, and now she was doing the same, except this time, rather than turn the tables back on me, she moved our conversation along to the TV.

“No one you’ll ever guess.”

“What does that mean?”

Over the last month, we’d been watching a series on Netflix she picked out. I didn’t care for it, but she was interested in the stupid show, so it became our thing. “This thing drags out for like fifty seasons. If you think it’s anyone you suspect now, you’re clearly wrong.”

“You never know. I think it’s the neighbor—the peeping Tom.”

“‘A’ isn’t a guy.”

Her fingers slowed. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because I Googled it.”

“What?” she shrieked. “Why would you do that?”

Not taking my eyes off the TV, I deadpanned, “The suspense was killing me.”

“Then who is it?”

“Someone you’ll never guess. I’m fairly certain they just made someone up at the end.”

“You suck.” She stopped the massage that had my entire body relaxed and moved next to me to settle against the pillows in the middle of the bed. “Now there’s no point in watching it anymore.”

“So I can change it?”

“Not yet. I still have no idea who ‘A’ is.”

“If I tell you, will you let me change it?”

In a move so fast I barely saw it, Ellie snatched the remote away. “Not a chance. You’ll just make me watch one of those lame-ass superhero shows with horrible special effects, and I’ve seen all the action movies I can stand for one summer. No thank you.”

“Yeah, because this is so much better.”

“If you don’t like it, go somewhere else.”

I narrowed my gaze at her and blinked incessantly, even though she never turned my way. “This is my room, woman!”

“And your point is? I’m not kicking you out. If you leave, it’ll be of your own free will.”

With a huff, I threw myself back, landing in a heap of feather pillows. And that’s exactly where I stayed, with Ellie beside me and her stupid show in front of me. Honestly, there wasn’t anywhere else I’d rather be.

We both must’ve fallen asleep, because the next time I opened my eyes, the room was pitch black, and Ellie was slipping out of my bathroom. My heart thundered in my chest as I watched her tiptoe toward the bedroom door.

“Where are you going?” My voice was thick with sleep, gravelly and deep.

She stilled and craned her neck to look back at me. The moonlight from the window bathed her in a soft glow, making me take notice of her natural beauty more than I ever had before. “It’s three in the morning. I was going to my bed,” she whispered, as if trying not to wake anyone up.

I patted the bed. “Get back over here.”

For a second, it seemed as though she hesitated, like she had to contemplate sleeping next to me. Granted, we hadn’t shared a bed since last Thanksgiving, and the time before that had been years ago. But that shouldn’t have meant things had changed. We’d slept in the same bed more times than I could count, for as long as I could remember. Yet now that we were older—and especially since the night of the draft—it almost seemed wrong.

Finally, she padded across the room and climbed into bed. “Scoot over. You’re on my side.”

Without arguing, I did as I was told. She always took the spot on my left, although if I were alone in bed, that was the side I gravitated to. But for some reason, when we were together, it was hers. Always hers.

I extended my arm, and she fit it in the crook of her neck…like always. It made me lie back and stare at the shadows cast onto the ceiling by the spinning blades on the fan, pondering the habits we’d created together. Everything about us came so naturally, so easy and effortless. I couldn’t help but wonder why it was so difficult to find that with someone else, and then I began to speculate if I ever would. If I’d ever meet a woman who’d be able to give me what she could, yet in a romantic sense. In the forever sense. The kind of woman I could marry and spend the rest of my life with. That was the problem with having a best friend of the opposite sex—no one else would ever compare.

I rolled onto my side to see her, feeling the need to voice my uncertainties in the dark to the only person in the world I trusted with my fears; however, when I moved, my right hand landed on her lower stomach. Her shirt had ridden up just enough to feel the warmth of her skin beneath my touch, and it stole the air from the room, leaving me with nothing but her shaky exhale to breathe in.

“Ellie…” I whispered, unable to move.

She turned her head, our noses so close I could feel her breaths before I heard them. Except it was more than that. She also wrapped her long, thin fingers around my wrist, practically keeping my hand on her stomach while she remained on her back with my arm behind her neck.

Then, as if by magnetic force, our mouths connected. She shifted just enough to move my hand from her belly to her hip, while her touch drifted up my arm, over my shoulder, and down my chest. A fiery path blazed everywhere her fingers grazed until my dick was rock hard. But rather than assess the situation like I always did when I was with a woman, I allowed myself to feel every single second of it.

Her lips.

Her tongue.

Her hands on my skin.

Her body beneath mine.

Then there was her warmth. The tight heat that enveloped me and brought with it so much peace and contentment.

The way her gasps fanned against my face.

The slickness of her arousal.

The guttural moans reverberated from her chest.

The air around us was thick with ecstasy, and with every push, every pull, euphoria tightened in my gut. I could feel her everywhere, beneath me, inside me. And not once did I question any of it. Not once did I stop to think about the consequences or the tribulation the sun would bring once it rose above the horizon. All I could think about was how good it felt, how amazing she was, and how I wished it would never end.

But it did end.

And the sun did rise, alerting me to an empty bed.

* * *

I’d remained on the couch for most of the day, feeling like I’d been punched in the stomach. Ellie was gone by the time I’d gotten up, and aside from a few texts, I hadn’t heard from her. Apparently, she had some errands she needed to run, swearing she’d told me about them. Yet if she had, I would’ve remembered. And I didn’t recall any mention of it.

My phone rang from the coffee table, dragging my attention from whatever was on the TV—I hadn’t watched any of it, not even aware if it was a movie or a show. The caller ID didn’t give me a number I recognized, so I hesitated a beat before deciding to answer.

“This is him,” I spoke absentmindedly into the speaker.

“Hi, Coby, this is Chuck Bridges with ESPN Sports. How are you doing?”

The hairs on my arms stood on end, and my spine immediately went ramrod straight. “I’m good. How are you?” I rolled my eyes at my response. The man didn’t call to chitchat.

“Very well, thanks for asking. Listen, I’m calling with a proposal we think you’d be interested in.” Then he went on about an anchor position on their network, offering me a job as a commentator for the MLB season.

“Do you need an answer now? Or can I think about it?”

“Oh, no. Definitely think about it and give me a call back. The sooner the better, though. We’d love to get you in before the season ends, and we’re hoping we’d have you here on the set for the playoffs. We think you’d be a great asset to our team, and the viewers love you. You’re America’s Prince Charming. The King of the Mound.”

It was obvious he was doing nothing except buttering me up. Little did he know, I wasn’t a biscuit. I’d been called everything under the sun from “the Diamond’s Comeback Kid” to “the Knight in Shining Arm-or.” Except they no longer worked. I was no longer royalty of any mound—in reference to baseball or the female kind. I clearly couldn’t come back from brachial plexus damage, and the arm that had gotten so much attention was now just a useless limb.

“Thank you very much, Chuck. I’ll get back to you in the next couple of days.”

Not more than sixty seconds after I disconnected the call, my doorbell rang. It wasn’t Ellie—considering she never rang the bell or even knocked—so I had no idea who would’ve been on my porch. In the years I’d lived here, no one other than my dad had come to see me while I was home. Anytime I’d hang out with one of the guys or go on a date, we’d meet up somewhere else. Thinking about that now made me realize how odd it was that I hadn’t ever invited anyone over, but I figured it had been my way of keeping Ellie from feeling uncomfortable in her own home.

Shrugging that thought off—refusing to spend another second obsessing over Ellie until we could talk about the unwanted Dumbo in the room—I clicked the monitor on the wall in the foyer to see who it was. Gage Nix’s goofy face filled the security screen. I swung open the door and cocked my head to the side, silently questioning his impromptu visit.

“Figured you’d need company.” He held up a twelve-pack of beer.

“You know I don’t drink that crap.”

“Maybe it’s time you start.”

I huffed a grumbled chuckle and stepped out of the way, inviting him in with an outstretched hand. “Really, Gage…what are you doing here? In the middle of the season, no less. Shouldn’t you be at practice or something?”

He followed me into the kitchen, where I set the beer in the fridge, each of us taking a can. “You didn’t hear?” he asked as if this news shouldn’t have come as a surprise.

“Hear what? And why would I have heard? I’m not in the League anymore, remember?”

“Oh, I remember. Kinda hard to forget when your best pitcher bails and you’re left with Booby the Newbie who wouldn’t even be able to strike you out.” He took a seat on the couch a few spots away from me and propped his feet on my coffee table, making himself at home as if he’d been here a hundred times.

“Hardy-har-har.” I took a swig, winced as the liquid burned my esophagus, and then set my can on the table in front of me. “Back to you being here…what should I have heard?”

“I got benched. Coach thought it was best if I didn’t come to practice today.”

Now that got my attention. “For what?”

“I thought that would’ve been a given.” When I did nothing but gape at him, waiting for a real answer, he closed his eyes and shook his head. “It seems I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut.”

I barked out a laugh, and I had to admit how good it felt. “This is nothing new, Gage.”

“Good point. Except do you remember how I said the new pitcher sucked ass?”

“How could I forget? You just said it like two seconds ago.”

“Just making sure you were paying attention. Anyway…I decided to tell him so.”

I waited for a moment, just in case he had more to add, but when he didn’t, I decided to pry. “You told Bobby he sucked? Why in the hell would you do that?”

Gage gawked at me like I had four heads coming off my shoulders. “Because he sucks. Geeze, Coby, I thought you remembered me telling you that. Where’s your head at these days?”

“No, I got that. I was there and had to watch him pitch my games. I’m just curious as to why you decided to let him in on it—aside from it being true.”

“I got tired of him trash talking you.”

As much as it pained me to admit it, hearing that hurt. A lot. I’d given that team my all, every piece of me. And to know someone in that uniform could kick me when I was already down bothered me, even if it was a new player who hadn’t shared the diamond with me.

“He got too big for his panties and thought we all owed him something.”

“For what?” I balked.

“For ‘saving our asses’ when you bailed.” He rolled his eyes but kept on. “He thinks we owe him something for being there in your absence. So, I wrote his stats next to yours on the locker room wall. When he asked why, I explained—in layman’s terms—that he hasn’t done us any service, and in fact, we would’ve been better off with no pitcher at all. He got all butthurt and said some shit, so I shut him up.”

“How’d you do that?”

“He had a hard time talking around the fist I planted in his big, fat mouth.”

My eyes nearly bulged out with as wide as they were. “You hit him?”

“That’s the story he’s going with.”

Confused, I held up one hand and gave myself a moment to compose my thoughts. “Wait…that’s his story? But not yours? Even though you just told me you punched him.”

“Yes.” He nodded, his expression remaining blank.

It was always so hard to read him. I’d once seen him tell Cason how he’d screwed his mom, offering vivid detail, all while wearing a straight face, capable of convincing us all that he was telling the truth. When Cason informed him that his mother was in her seventies and in a wheelchair from a stroke, Gage explained it had been years ago, that she had taken his virginity when he was fourteen. This man could lie to a nun and convince her that whatever came out of his mouth was the truth.

“I never said I punched him. I said I shut him up.”

“Yeah…with your fist in his mouth.”

“Semantics. I say I shut him up, because he didn’t have much to say after that.”

I dropped my head back and laughed, missing this so much it hurt.

“In all honesty,” he continued with more seriousness, “Coach asked me to come by and see how you’re doing. The team isn’t the same without you. Losing streak aside, we miss the unity you provided. Just having you there did something to the team morale, and it seems no one can fill those shoes. A pitcher has to trust his teammates—trust us to catch balls that had been hit—and that trust is no longer there. It’s damaging to everyone when that’s taken away.”

And there it was—the real reason he came over. He didn’t stop by to have a few beers with me or shoot the shit. He was here to check up on me, to make sure I was okay. “Well, you can run back to Daddy and tell him I’m fine. In fact, I just got a call from ESPN offering me a commentator position.”

“No shit,” he blurted out with surprise in his airy tone. “What’d you tell them?”

“That I had to think about it.”

“Trying to play hard to get? As much as I love that game, you shouldn’t gamble with this opportunity. If you’d like, I could call them back for you and act as your agent. Now that I’m benched, and Coach thinks I’m a danger to Booby, I could totally be on your payroll.”

I laughed at his apparent disdain toward the new pitcher, finding comedy in his nickname, but I shook my head. “Nah. That’s all right. I’ll call them back when I have an answer. Right now, I’m enjoying spending time with Ellie. I only have about a month left before she’ll be busy again, and ever since we graduated from high school, we haven’t had much time to hang out. So I’m taking this chance while I have it.”

“Are you guys dating now? I thought she was with that UA loser?”

“No, we’re not dating. But she’s no longer with him, either. They broke up last month.”

He wagged his brows. “So she’s single?”

“Newly single,” I pointed out. “As in…not interested in you.”

“What’s there not to be interested in?” His brow pinched tight, the deepening lines showing his age. He wasn’t old by any means, but he had about six years on me, and with as much time as he’d spent in the sun his whole life, it aged him more than most. Gage had played ball since he could walk, so where the sun hadn’t done much to me in the few short years I’d spent playing the game, I couldn’t say the same for him. “Not to mention, newly single is my type. You know I don’t care for the relationship aspect.”

“You’re not going to chase my best friend’s skirt. Okay?”

Just then, the sound of the garage door opening echoed through the house. I set a pointed stare at Gage—we only had a minute before she came inside. But rather than take my silent threat seriously, he offered me a dramatic wink, and then stood as soon as the door into the kitchen from the garage creaked open.

“You must be Ellie,” he greeted with that sugary-sweet voice I’d heard him use on more women than I cared to recount. “I’ve heard so much about you from the one-hit wonder over here.”

In an instant, her spine went straight, her shoulders pulled back, and her gaze landed on me. I could tell it was in response to Gage’s insult, and it warmed me to think that even while avoiding me after our spur-of-the-moment, middle-of-the-night sexcapade, she would still defend me until her dying breath.

“I wouldn’t call a three-year career in the Majors, running a better pitching average than most who’d been on the mound for five times as long, a ‘one-hit wonder.’ And who did you say you were?” She knew exactly who Gage was—every woman did, regardless of their knowledge of the sport, but I loved how she played that off anyhow.

Gage glanced back at me, a smirk toying on his lips before setting his attention back on the spitfire in front of him. “That wasn’t a dig at his career, sweetheart. It was a dig at his batting average. One hit wonder…get it?” When her cheeks tinted pink, the smile on his lips widened. “And I’m Gage Nix. Legendary third-baseman for the Titans.”

“Legendary?” Ellie cocked a brow at him, but I could see the humor tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Last time I checked, you had to be known for something really good—or really bad—to be considered a legend. And I wouldn’t call your stats either one.”

“Funny…it sounded like, based on your obsession with my stats, you’re aware of exactly who I am. Which validates my claim of being a legend, despite my game on the field. So you must’ve heard about me from my reputation with the ladies. And if that’s the case, then…how about dinner tonight? Just me and you, a bottle of Dom, beneath the moon and the stars in the back of my pickup.”

“As tempting as that offer is, I’m going to have to pass.”

“Let me guess…you have to wash your hair?”

“No. I just have no interest in contracting the herp.”

“Don’t worry…I haven’t had a flare up in a while.”

“Which means you’re due for one soon, right?”

I lost it. I could no longer contain my laughter and let it go in roaring rolls of amusement. Their banter was too much, and coupled with their blank stares and serious comebacks, I was a goner.

Once the laughter died down, Ellie turned to me with bright eyes and her reaction toward me showing heavy hesitation, as if she wasn’t sure how to act around me. “I wasn’t aware you had company, Coby. I’m sorry. I would’ve stayed out longer if you had told me you were expecting someone.”

“Don’t worry about it. I was just as surprised when he showed up.”

“You make it sound like I was uninvited.” Gage’s offended tone came across genuine—even though it wasn’t.

“Yeah…because you weren’t.”

“Maybe not, but I came bearing gifts.” He held up a can of beer and took a swig. Then he turned to Ellie. “You don’t have to leave. We’re just shootin’ the shit. You should stay and relax, hang out.”

She glanced between the two of us, contemplating the offer. With a piercing glower at Gage, she said, “Just as long as this one keeps his hands to himself.”

“Deal,” I stated at the same time Gage responded with, “Can’t make any promises, sweetness.” I was two seconds away from shutting him up with my fist. But at least it made her giggle, and after worrying about us all day, it proved to be exactly what I needed.

“Fine, but I have to go put these bags away.” She held up a few packages from the mall.

“I’ll help you.” I stood and started to move around the couch, ignoring the odd glance she shot me over her shoulder. Then again, I guess it was odd that I’d offered to help her put her clothes away.

As soon as we made it to her room, I closed the door behind me, not wanting Gage to overhear our conversation.

“Don’t be weird, Coby.”

“Me? Weird?” I placed my hand over my chest in a show of feigned insult.

“Yes. Why would you leave your friend out there all alone to come in here?”

I dropped the act, as well as my shoulders, and took a step closer to her, hoping she could read the sincerity in my expression. “Are we okay?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Her lack of attention bothered me, but I wasn’t sure how to handle it. We’d never been like this before. Even after the last time, four years ago, it wasn’t this awkward between us. Now, as we stood in her room with the door closed, the first time being around each other after last night, she turned her back to me and proceeded to pull clothes she didn’t need out of a bag and place them on the bed.

“Look at me, please.” When she peered at me over her shoulder, it was clear this was worse than I had originally thought. “Ellie…”

Finally, she turned around and caught me off guard with her soft eyes. “Don’t do this, Coby. Let’s not make a big deal about last night, okay?”

“You want to pretend it didn’t happen?”

Her shoulders sagged when she released a rushed exhale, her eyes downcast. “No. Of course not. But I don’t care to analyze it, either. You’re my best friend, and everyone understands how sex complicates even the strongest relationships. I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I’m tired of wondering what it means. Because it shouldn’t mean anything. I’d hate for things to change between us, yet I know they will. I guess I keep thinking if we don’t acknowledge it, it’ll go away and not come between us.”

I moved forward and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into my chest. “I don’t want anything to change, either, El. I just need to make sure we’re all right. I can’t explain why it happened. It wasn’t my intent. I guess I got wrapped up in the intensity of the moment.”

“We both did,” she muttered into my shirt.

“So…we had sex. Big deal. You’re still my best friend, and I wouldn’t change a thing about us…not for anything. Got it? Just please, tell me we’re fine. Tell me you didn’t stay out all day buying hideous shirts because you were avoiding me.”

She jerked back, but the second she caught my expression, her lips tipped into an earth-shattering grin. “They’re not hideous. They were on the clearance rack.”

“Yeah…because no one else bought them.”

She slapped my chest and went back to the clothes on her bed. “We’re okay, Coby. I promise. But yes, I stayed out all day to avoid you, because I was scared of what would happen when you woke up. We’re not eighteen anymore. We didn’t choose to have sex so we could shed our innocence before heading out into the real world. We’re both adults, which made last night different from before.”

“I’m sorry.”

She turned on her heel and knitted her brow. “Don’t apologize. It wasn’t just you. I was in that bed, too. You didn’t force me to do anything, and I was just as much a willing participant as you were. There’s nothing to be sorry for. We just have to be more careful. What we did is a slippery slope, and I love you too much to risk the friendship we have.”

“I agree.”

A smile brightened her face, and the way it illuminated her eyes told me it was genuine. “Good. Now get back out there before your friend touches anything. I’m not sure Lysol is strong enough to disinfect chlamydia.”

I threw my head back and laughed. “He’s not that bad. You really should come out and spend some time with us. He’s actually a pretty funny guy once you pick up on his humor. I think you’d really like him.”

“You trying to set me up with Gage Nix, Kyler?”

“Hell no.” I shook my head, trying to wipe away the image she just provided. “Never. Just thought it’d be fun to spend time with you and him together. I’m trying to blend my worlds now that I’m left with just one.”

“Fine. Let me put this stuff away, and I’ll be out.”

“Hey…E.T.” I held up one finger and waited for the ease only her touch could bring.

“Phone home,” she said and connected her fingertip to mine.

I jutted my chin at her and then left the room.

Gage was still on the couch when I made it back to the living room. When I approached, he lifted his gaze from his phone and smiled. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just had something I needed to talk to her about.”

“The ESPN deal?” he prodded.

“No. And don’t bring that up in front of her. I haven’t said anything to anyone, and I’d like to keep it quiet until I make my decision. Ellie doesn’t need to find out. Promise me you won’t say anything.”

He seemed confused, but he nodded anyway. “Of course. But why are you keeping it from her? I thought she was your best friend? Don’t you tell her everything while you guys sit around and braid each other’s hair and whatnot?”

I raised my middle finger in his direction. “She’ll be super supportive of it, and it’ll make me feel like I have to accept it.”

“So what’s the problem? Aren’t you going to take it?”

“I’m not sure yet. I told you that already. I have to think about it.”

“Seriously, fucker. What’s there to think about?”

“I have a lot to figure out now that baseball isn’t in my future. Four years ago, I chose ball over school, fully aware it could be short term. But I did it anyway because after I got the offer to play for the Titans, I figured it would last for at least ten years. And it clearly didn’t. So the last thing I want to do is accept another offer that could be just as short lived, if not shorter, and be left right here in another few years. I’m not looking for something to get me to the next spot. I’d prefer something more permanent. And I’m not sure being a commentator is that.”

He nodded, appearing to understand. “Just promise me you won’t let anyone else make up your mind for you. Do what you feel is right. Got it? I love you like a brother, but it’s always been obvious baseball didn’t fill your heart.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You loved the sport, but I think you loved it more for the family it gave you than the actual act of playing. Don’t get me wrong, you gave it your all. Everyone could see that. Hell, you were in it enough to keep your mouth shut about an injury, knowing if you did or said anything about it, it could all be taken away. I have no doubt you gave us one hundred percent of you. But where your heart’s concerned, it didn’t fill it. The team did. Your brothers did. Being part of something fulfilled you…not the game. Maybe your arm was a blessing in disguise. Maybe now it’s time you find where your heart lies.”

I hadn’t thought of it like that before. Something was missing once I’d left the field, but I hadn’t pinpointed what it was until just now, listening to wise advice from the person I least expected it from.

Before I could respond, Ellie came out to join us, a can of beer in her hand. As she came around the couch, she popped the top at the same time Gage said, “There’s the sex kitten.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said: there’s the Mexican.”

She stared blankly at me for a second, then at Gage. “You do know I’m not Mexican, right?”

“Oh, I’m sorry…was that not politically correct?”

“Dude, I have red hair and freckles.”

“Don’t stereotype. That’s not cool.” We all shared a laugh before Gage turned serious again. “If I promise to double bag my batter, would you reconsider that date?”

“There’s not enough money in the world.” It was obvious Ellie had to fight against her smile.

“Is it because I called you a Mexican? If so, I think that might be racist. Not sure, though.”

“I refuse to date another baseball player.”

Gage pulled out his phone and held it up to his ear, faking a call for her benefit. “Is this the Denver Broncos? Hi, this is Gage Nix, I’d like to switch sports. Yeah…there’s a fine-ass female who says she won’t date me because I’m not manly enough, so I figured I’d give football a try. I hear women dig men who roll around with one another trying to grab balls.”

“You’re insufferable.” She took a mouthful of beer and then winced as she swallowed.

“Just wait ’til you see me in the back of my pickup.”

It seemed this was what I’d been missing—laughter. Ellie had given me plenty of it, but it had been done under the guise of getting me out of my funk. And as I’d learned, you couldn’t get out of it when it hovered over you like an ominous rain cloud. But here, spending time with two people I enjoyed being around, it was like a weight had been lifted.

I only had about ten million more pounds to go.