Chapter 3

Harper

Bernadette had returned to chattering, but I was completely preoccupied with the shock of having run into Brayden again after all these years. I’d been sixteen the last time I spoke to him, or saw him, for that matter. I’m not sure he knew I was there on graduation day. The main ceremony was held in the football stadium, and I didn’t want him to know that I cared enough to be there. I’d dressed down for the occasion, wearing jeans and a jacket over my t-shirt. I’d even French-braided my hair and shoved it under a narrow-brimmed sunhat, the kind the tourists wore. I waited at the gate until there was a large family group going in and blended into the middle of them. I hadn’t applauded or shouted his name when he was called to the stage. It was not an easy thing for me to remain anonymous; it was not my natural habitat.

I never asked anyone about him, not wanting to let on that I missed him in case it got back to him. I knew he wanted me to regret not staying with him but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. So, I stayed alone. Once I got to college up north, naturally no one knew him, or me. Anonymity had become second nature to me, and it was another reason I’d chosen computer science. I just didn’t seem to fit in with other people for some reason.

There had been a few dates through college, but nothing that lasted long enough to write home about. Then came college graduation and the eventual job at Cleve-Mobil, and my relationship with the founder, Steve Tabbott.

Steve had been a nerd the day his mother finally pushed him out. He was void of real emotion, and I think that was one of the reasons he appealed to me. He was a nothing, a void in the space where a body should have been. Making love with him was like not making love at all. I never loved him, and I never wanted to. I’d only opened myself to real emotion that one time, with Brayden, and I remembered where I’d landed. I reasoned that if being alone with someone was just as painful as being alone without someone, why go through the pain? Just choose alone.

Bernadette’s voice broke through my reverie.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I asked her. “I’m a little nervous that the kids won’t like me, and I think I was getting a little panicky.”

She bought it, although it wasn’t that far from the truth. “I was saying that the children are looking forward to meeting you. Dougie, especially. I told him you knew a lot about computers, and he’d like you to teach him how to hack the government.” Her voice was blasé, and I wondered if she had any idea what she was talking about. Probably not, I decided, unless she wanted to get rid of her kid for a few years.

“I’m not a hacker,” I told her simply, hoping she’d get it without pushing me.

“Oh, no? Well, that’s a shame. He was so looking forward to it. You mustn’t get too upset if he decides to throw a fit, promise? Remember, the doctor says he’ll outgrow it. Now, Katie, she’s probably not going to take that at face value. She’ll want to learn how, and until you give in, well, there’s no telling how much she’ll bug you about it. But just stand your ground, okay? You don’t have to give in, unless it’s easier. Your job isn’t counting on it.”

I knew she was trying to give me some sense of relief but she was making it worse by the moment. We’d reached the wing where their individual rooms were located. We stopped at room 1006. “This is yours.” She tapped on the door and handed me a key card. “The kids are in our suite, room 1000. Here’s your key card for those rooms. I expect you to take good care of it. There are a lot of people who would love to get their hands on it.”

I felt my temper flare at her condescension. She was inferring I was irresponsible and that didn’t set well with me. I couldn’t afford anger at that moment, so I took the cards and nodded, without comment.

“Why don’t you go in and get unpacked? We’ll be taking dinner as room service today. Dinner is at seven. We’ll see you then.”

Bernadette’s eyes looked upward as though making sure she’d gotten through her rehearsed speech. I’d always found this sort of insecurity in people who weren’t terribly bright, which gave me a foreshadow of what I would see when I met her kids. I hoped I could get through this job. There really weren’t a lot of options immediately on hand. It would take me a couple of weeks to find something else, but what I really wanted was to code my website. That meant finding a job that gave me the freedom to do just that. Otherwise, being a nanny would have been out of the question.

I opened the door and drew in a breath. I felt as though I’d entered a different world. All the furnishings were clear Plexiglas or very, very pale shades of pastel. It was a room filled with feminine touches and I felt a little pride that Brayden was behind all that. There was a queen-sized bed with a soft floral spread, a small kitchenette, a desk that would be ideal for writing and a small sofa and chair group. A sliding door opened onto a balcony and I looked down to the beach and waves below. It was simply gorgeous.

I quickly put away my sparse wardrobe, while keeping an eye on the clock. I didn’t want to be late and get off on the wrong foot. I knocked on their suite door five minutes early. I wasn’t comfortable simply walking in, yet.

Bernadette opened it, and her face relaxed with relief. Clearly, I was needed. She motioned me in and a short man with an elaborate, comb-over hairstyle stood behind her. His eyes traveled the length of me and ended up back on my breasts. I already had him pegged. “This is Ripley,” Bernadette said.

“Nice to meet you,” he said to me in a tone that bordered on salacious. “I hope to get to know you better.”

I shivered with immediate disgust and was floored that Bernadette seemed to be oblivious to his conduct. Maybe she was used to it. Heck, for all I knew, maybe she endorsed it so he’d leave her alone. I couldn’t say I’d blame her. He was repulsive.

“Bernadette, who is that?” asked a small voice just on the other side of the doorway.

“Come here, Katie,” Bernadette urged the girl. “This is your new nanny, Harper.”

They call their parents by their first names?

“I don’t like her,” announced a boy I assumed was Dougie as he marched into the room.

“Why is your name Harper?” Katie wanted to know.

I motioned to Katie to come into the room where I could talk to her without the wall between us. “My mother loved Mockingbird.”

“What’s that?”

“Never mind, I’ll read it to you sometime.” Katie’s jaw was slack. “Scratch that, we’ll watch the movie,” I improvised and turned my attention to Dougie.

“Hello, Dougie. How do you know you don’t like me if you haven’t met me?” I asked, putting him on the spot.

“Your hair sucks, and your boobs are too big. You look like you’re gonna tip over,” he said boldly and waited for my response. I wouldn’t give him the opportunity to gloat over his brazen comment.

“I see,” I said, carefully wording what I was about to say. “I’d say that’s a very wise attitude for a child of eight.” I heard Ripley snort over my shoulder but chose to ignore him. I didn’t address Dougie’s actual comment, thereby leaving him with something to think about.

“Katie, come here and count to one hundred by fours,” Bernadette ordered, anxious to show off her star pupil of a child.

“Four, eight, twelve, sixteen, twenty, twenty-four…” began Katie and I steeled myself for the dog and pony show that was obviously going to be my primary source of entertainment.

I interrupted, “My goodness, Bernadette, you were right. She really is bright.”

Katie nodded and grinned with satisfaction.

Dinner was announced just then and the kids slammed one another in the chest with an arm and ran for the table.

“Children…” Bernadette chided them in a bored tone and looked to me. “They’re your responsibility now.”

I smiled and followed the brats into the dining area of the condo. An Asian-looking man nodded at me and muttered his name was Chin. He stood nearby in a white jacket, waiting for everyone to be seated. Then he clapped his hands and a collection of servants appeared through a swinging door, each carrying a platter or bowl of food, some of which smelled better than the rest. He oversaw the theatrics and then hung back against the wall as the family began their demands.

Ripley was presiding, handing the bowls first to Bernadette, who gingerly took one spoon of each, and then on to Dougie. The boy’s reaction was less favorable. He climbed up onto his knees so he could peer into the bowls and platters across the table. “I’m not eating this!” he shrieked, and Bernadette rolled her eyes and looked at me to take charge. “It smells awful, and I’ll puke all over the table if you try and make me!” The boy’s overly long, fuzzy red hair bounced a little to emphasize his displeasure.

I wasn’t prepared for this mess. I’d been raised with at least a few manners, especially when it came to food. “Okay,” I said calmly, taking the bowl from Bernadette to spoon some onto Katie’s plate and my own. No matter how bad it tasted, I had obligated myself to eat it now. Shit!

Dougie watched, apparently a little thrown off by my calm and unobliging response. “I want ice cream!” he shrieked, still on his knees. Chin flinched, ready to do the kid’s bidding, but I looked him straight in the eyes and calmly shook my head.

When Chin didn’t move, Dougie tried again. “I said,” he threatened, whirling around in his chair to look directly at Chin, “get me ice cream.”

I had to give Chin credit. His face remained expressionless, and yet I could see the glitter of satisfaction in his eyes that for once, the little brat wasn’t getting his way. He did not move.

Dougie began chanting and pounding his spoon on the table. “I want ice cream, I want ice cream…”

Bernadette’s hand slapped the table in aggravation, and she looked at me. “Give him what he wants. Remember what I told you?”

I slowly folded my napkin and lay it next to my plate. “Bernadette, may I have a word?” I stood and walked toward the next room. She had no choice but to follow me. I knew she would; she was used to following orders.

She was rolling her eyes as though I was dense. “Remember? I told you just to keep peace and give him what he wants.”

“I do remember. I also disagree with the doctor. And, since the doctor isn’t here to witness this, and you put me in charge, I’m going to do this my way. He’ll eventually get hungry enough to stop the games, and then we’ll all be able to enjoy our meal.”

Bernadette was taken aback by my boldness, and I could see calculations going on in her mind. She was weighing my value as an old friend of Brayden’s against a quiet meal of eating that barely edible garbage waiting in the next room. She decided Brayden was worth it, and I wondered why. Another clue, another reaction worth remembering.

We returned to the dining room where Dougie had temporarily gone mute so he could hear the verdict. “Dougie, since you won’t be eating dinner this evening, there’s no need for you to be at the table,” I told him in a measured tone. “Please go to your room, and I’ll be there once I’ve finished.”

His mouth dropped open, and he immediately looked to his mother for backup, but there was none coming. She quietly dabbed at her spoonful of everything while Ripley’s face glowed with pleasure. I had the feeling he’d wanted to do that for some time. What did all these people hold over one another’s heads? Katie was giggling, and Dougie’s face flushed even redder, if that was possible.

“I’m not going,” he announced and crossed his arms over his chest.

I folded my napkin again and laid it next to my plate, scooting back my chair. I looked to Chin and said, “Would you mind having my dinner kept for me, and I’ll eat it once Dougie is in bed?”

He nodded and immediately bowed to me; a sign of respect.

I walked around to Dougie’s side of the table and took him by the hand. I wasn’t much taller than he was, but I certainly could handle myself. “Katie, we’re going to my room and you’re welcomed to join us when you’re done eating,” I added and despite his resistance, Dougie was dragged behind me as we went to my room.

I turned a chair to face a corner and led him to it. “Sit there until you can behave like an adult, since you want to be one,” I said and backed him into it. He sat down, wondering at my behavior and plotting his revenge. I sat on the sofa, picked up my laptop and began working on my website.

Dougie began a sing song in a very loud, very flat voice, “You’re so ugly, you’re so ugly.”

I ignored him. He tried singing louder, shouting the words. I continued to ignore him. I had a website to entertain myself; therefore, the distinct advantage. My lack of reaction was beginning to bore him, as I knew he was being fed by the power of response. There was a knock at the door, and I opened it to see Bernadette with Katie. Bernadette looked over my shoulder and her brows rose as she spotted Dougie facing the corner. Her hands came up in a worrisome clutch, and I shook my head in a conspiratorial warning. “Come in, Katie. I was just about to play a computer game and thought you’d like to take turns?”

Dougie’s head spun around and that’s when I discovered his favorite thing in the whole world to do. He loved computer games.

Katie nodded and skipped past me. I smiled at Bernadette as I closed the door gently in her face and turned to my charges. Katie already had my laptop in her hands. “No, no, no, you don’t. That is mine, and you are not permitted to touch it until I hand it to you. And, Dougie, you face the corner or you’ll never get a turn.”

Within a half hour, the kids were sitting on either side of me, taking turns neatly. There was a tap at the door and Chin entered, a tray in hand for Dougie and myself with our dinners re-warmed. I caught a glimpse of Bernadette behind Chin, but she kept to herself.

At eight-thirty, I closed the laptop and herded my charges toward baths and bed. I promised to show them how to code their own game if they promptly went to sleep. Like children on Christmas Eve, they were on their best behavior.

Adjourning to my room, I grabbed a quick shower and prepared to head downstairs to the Cabana bar to meet Brayden. All the while I was dressing, I was reliving our past and wondering if he’d changed. Even when we went together, we were different. Both wild, but in different ways. I dabbed a touch of my precious cologne between my breasts and told myself it was just good hygiene. I wore the low-cut white blouse with the pearl-stud earrings because the blouse was at the front of my closet. Yeah, right.

Brayden had two older brothers, Cory and Collin. I didn’t know much about Cory, as he was several years older, but Collin was known to be trouble. Better looking than he deserved, he used women and wiped his feet on the last as he headed for the next. No one trusted him and yet his charm and good looks overcame many an objection. My parents had warned me to be cautious. They thought Collin and Brayden were two limbs of the same tree.

I remembered their warning and added one of my own. I couldn’t afford to get my heart broken again. It had hurt too badly the last time, and this time, I had nowhere to go, no one to fall back on.

I mentally repeated the warning to myself as the elevator door opened and Brayden stood there, checking his watch as he waited for me. His eyes twinkled and glowed in his tanned face. I knew I was in trouble.