Elliott rarely went for two-point conversions, unless it was the only option. But every once in a while, a white zap of lightning singed his nerve endings. Maybe it was the energy of his players or the crowd, maybe some chink in the defense’s armor that no one had seen yet. When he got that down-deep gut roll and went for two points, he could never explain the reason behind the decision, so it was a good thing his assistant coaches and the post-game reporters rarely asked him for an explanation of any maneuver. They wrote down what he had to offer—and that was it.
For all that evening’s lightness and the way Peggy had seemed—thank the Lord—comfortable with him, there he stood with his nerve endings on fire. This moment was urgent. The same sixth sense that encouraged Elliott to attempt two-point conversions was blaring a high-pitched whistle in the farthest regions of his mind, far more powerful than anything he’d ever encountered on the sidelines of a football game. Make an impact. Make it count. Don’t wait.
As if some divine providence—or maybe the man upstairs—heard his mental gears grinding, the spotlight in the cave’s corner landed on the rings Peggy wore back around her neck on a defiant, makeshift chain of string, making them glint, sparkle. Across the distance separating them, he could hear the silver objects clang together, as if his hearing ability had been cranked up to ten.
Elliott realized Peggy had stopped her journey around the cave’s interior and was watching him, somehow curious and…knowing at the same time. Which didn’t surprise him. Hadn’t she spoken to him in total silence, long before they’d ever exchanged so much as a syllable? Time fell away, leaving their connection locked and enduring, much like the very structure in which they stood.
“What is it?” Peggy murmured, her gaze cutting down to where she toed the edge of a small pool. “Is this where you tell me a cave person is standing right behind me wearing someone else’s skin?”
Fuck, he loved her. Loved her with the kind of intensity that he would never be able to describe in a million years. If someone else claimed to feel what was shifting and growing inside his chest, Elliott himself might have considered them insane. But not now. Now he understood.
“I want you to tell me about the men you were engaged to.” Neither one of them moved or spoke for long, heavy beats. “Trust me, no one is more surprised than me that I just said that.”
She curled her fingers around the edges of her jacket. “Why did you?”
Elliott’s step was purposeful as he crossed to Peggy, skirting the pool’s edge to stop right in front of her. His pulse sounded like the rapid ticking of a wooden roller coaster as it dropped a car full of screaming people down a giant hill. Did he want to hear about Peggy’s ex-boyfriends? Hell fucking no. Already his skin was crawling with the idea. But that was the point, wasn’t it? “You wear the rings because you feel guilty,” he explained. “I know what that feels like. And I don’t want you to experience it anymore.”
Peggy breathed a laugh, but her eyes were haunted. “Easier said than done.”
“I know.” He stepped closed. “That’s why you’re going to give me the guilt. Right here, right now. You’re going to hand it over to me and I’m going to carry it for you.”
“That’s not going to work.” She backed away, then stopped. “There won’t be an even balance unless you give me yours in exchange.” Waiting for her to continue, Elliott was wired, attuned to every emotion flitting across her face. “You still carry the rosary beads.”
“Yes.”
She set her chin. “When we broke up, you said when you looked at me, you saw your own guilt. Your sins.” Her gaze cut to the ceiling. “Are you sure you don’t feel that way now?”
Remembering the shocked horror on her face when he’d said those words, he wanted to roar his anguish. “What I said that day was the wrong half of the truth, Peggy. I was guilty, yes. I’d been absent when my family needed me. I still haven’t been good enough for Alice.” He took a step forward. “If you’d come along later, the shit in my head might not have dragged you down with it. We’ll never know. But after feeling…less for the person I failed, then falling straight into crazy for you right afterward, I couldn’t accept what you made me feel without the guilt. So I fought it. It’s no excuse for driving you away. Jesus, I’ll want to take back that day for the rest of my life. But I need you to understand, the failure was mine. You didn’t deserve any part of it.”
She pressed her knuckles to her mouth a moment, clearly processing everything he’d said. “When I came back, though, you were still angry with me.”
“No.” His voice was two knives sharpening. “I was terrified. I spent the years without you playing defense against feeling a goddamn thing. And you walk in and find every hole in my resistance, just like you always did.”
“Brought it right back to football metaphors, didn’t you?”
When she let out a shaky laugh, Elliott’s relief almost knocked him over. He wasted no time reaching into his pocket, removing the rosary beads, and handing them to Peggy. “You’ve always had every single part of me. Good and bad. From here on out, I’m going to make sure it’s so much damn good, Peggy. Try and trust me.” Not quite ready to give her a breath to say no, Elliott moved closer. “Your turn.”
She tried to slide past him, but he halted her progress by gripping her arms. He hated the trapped vibe she was giving off. But he was learning that progress never came without some kind of sacrifice. Some kind of work. Hoping she didn’t try to make a dash for the exit, Elliott slid his hands up to Peggy’s nape and untied the haphazardly repaired necklace. Truthfully, there was a huge part of Elliott that wanted to take those rings and throw them far as he could, listen to them clatter and roll, never to be seen again. Someone besides him had put those symbols of commitment on her finger—something he’d been too stupid to do himself—and he hated the sight of them. Instead, though, he placed the jewelry in her palm and closed her hand around it.
She blew out a long, stuttered breath and removed the first ring from the string. A plain silver band with a modest diamond that winked at Elliott, as if to mock him, but he squeezed Peggy’s shoulder and waited, despite the pain burrowing into his stomach. “This one is from Peter the accountant. Small in stature, but…huge on his dedication to the Padres.” Her swallow was audible. “He wore his Padres jersey everywhere, even restaurants. And he ran up and high-fived anyone else wearing their gear. Really nice guy.”
Elliott focused on the words instead of the unwanted images. With Peggy standing right in front of him, breathing and smelling like the highest point of heaven, he absolutely could not picture her on a date and maintain his composure, be the support she needed.
“What do I do with the ring now?” Peggy whispered.
“What do you want to do with it?”
Her luminous golden brown eyes wrecked him. “Never see it again.”
Elliott nodded and took the ring, dropping it into his pocket. “Done. It’s mine now, Peggy. I made us go without one another for three years and these failures are mine. They were mine when they happened. And they’re mine now.”
Her brow wrinkled as she ducked her head again, sliding all three rings off the string and holding them out, a fistful of diamonds. “Morris the bass player was next. He never woke up before noon a day in his life. But it was eleven fifteen in the morning when he proposed, so I think he was trying to change.” She used her free hand to give Elliott the ring. “Then there was Carlos, the attorney and total adrenaline junkie. Took too many selfies. This one…this was the hardest engagement to break, because I could tell he knew. He saw it coming.” Elliott accepted the third ring, praying like hell this was helping Peggy so his absolute, unbearable suffering wouldn’t be for nothing. He’d earned the suffering. He knew that. Didn’t make it any less of a mind fuck. “Last one is from Samson, a bicycle shop owner.” She looked up at Elliott. “This one I can’t really be blamed for. He proposed to me in front of his mom on our third date. She was videotaping the whole thing. I couldn’t say no.”
“No,” Elliott agreed through stiff lips. “That would have been too hard for someone with a good heart like you.”
She breathed a shaky laugh. “The way this little ceremony is hard for you?”
“I’ve just listened to the woman who rules me—mind and body—list her ex-fiancés,” Elliott gritted out. “Nothing is this hard.”
Clearly stunned by his vehemence, she searched his face for long moments, before reaching over and pushing the final ring into his pocket, letting it join the others. Then she tucked the string into her pocket and dropped both hands to her sides as if she didn’t know what to do with them anymore. “Will you mail them back?”
“Yes,” he forced out. “Whatever we need to do.”
Peggy’s gaze traced away, landing on the water. “I didn’t expect to feel better, but I do.” Her mouth twitched. “Maybe because you feel worse.”
Unbelievable that he should want to laugh and smash the entire cave to pieces with a sledgehammer at the same time. “You ready to get out of here?”
The look she sent him from beneath her eyelashes was seduction without most of the darkness that had been there before. “Couldn’t be more ready.”
Elliott bit back a groan as his cock reacted to the rasp of silk in her voice. He reached out to grab her hand, prepared to drag her out of the cave fast as humanly possible—
A bat dropped down from above them, landing in the water with a splash. If they could bottle the jumping ability Peggy exhibited while launching herself at him with a high-pitched scream, he would stock it in the locker room. She left the ground and drew her legs up at the same time, giving Elliott no choice but to think fast, catching her in midair against his chest. She burrowed her face into his neck and slapped at his shoulders. “Jesus Christ. Go. Go go fucking go.”
Lord, there was nothing better than holding Peggy. Nothing in the damn world. And he owed his receiver big time. “What happened to ‘bring ’em on’?”
“I lied.”
His laugher echoed off the cave walls.