Lily blinked at the bright sunshine as she walked out of the Miami-Dade airport. To her left, Luther looked ready to fall down and kiss the ground. He didn’t fly so well. Even liquor didn’t do the trick. Nikoli had laughed and told him he should have slept. Lily didn’t think that was an option for the poor guy. Flying truly terrified him. She’d plugged in her headphones and watched a movie on her tablet, and then opened a book she’d bought to bring with her. Nikoli had taken his own advice and slept the entire flight. She had a feeling he didn’t like flying either, only he handled it better than Luther.
They waited for the bus that would take them to the car rental facility on the property, and once there, Nikoli rented a new Lexus. Lily would have taken the less expensive Ford Focus, but as Nikoli kept reminding her, he could afford it. Since she’d told him she knew who he was, he seemed almost irritated with her for not asking him for things, but she didn’t want anything from him. Except for his love, and that was something she wasn’t going to get.
The hotel was expensive too. Lily cringed thinking about the room service bill Luther was sure to run up. He loved room service. He’d spent all day yesterday telling her about the wonderful room service the hotel offered. It was their favorite place to stay when in Miami. Nikoli reserved two rooms, one for them and one for Luther. The front desk clerk was overly helpful when he saw them, which made Lily realize they must have stayed here quite a bit over the years for the staff to know them. She shouldn’t be surprised, though. They were into racing, and Miami was a racing city.
Luther declined going out for lunch. He wanted to pass out. Poor fella looked like he needed it. Nikoli shook his head and carried their luggage down the hall, motioning for Lily to unlock the door. The room was gorgeous. There was a sitting room with a very comfortable looking couch and a wall-mounted TV. A small fridge and sink were tucked into the corner next to the bathroom. Nikoli opened a set of double doors that led to the bedroom and dumped their luggage in front of the dresser that sported a TV sitting on it as well. The massive king sized bed was covered in a lovely gray comforter.
“Do you like it, Lily Bells?” Nikoli asked, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, turning her head to meet his wandering lips, and she sighed when his mouth finally landed on hers. His kiss was soft, gentle. It left her breathless.
“Want to try out the bed?” he whispered against her lips before pulling back and staring down at her.
“Nice try.” She leaned her head back against his chest. “Ellie is mine.”
“Not after this weekend,” he promised. The determination in his voice sent a full body shiver though her. “What do you want to do first? Rest, grab a bite to eat, or go see your mom?”
Lily smiled. He hadn’t forgotten that she wanted to see her family. They’d flown out early so he could take her, since they’d be busy tomorrow. She wasn’t quite sure what time the race began. Nikoli said they’d text the time and location to him.
“Can we go see my mom?” she asked. “I called her last night to tell her we were coming. I’m sure she’ll cook a massive meal that no one can finish.”
Nikoli laughed. Lily had grown up in the mountains, and he’d learned that they tended to try and feed people into complacency, or so she’d threatened.
“Sure, baby. Go freshen up, and I’ll go down and program the GPS with the address. Meet me down there when you’re ready.”
He was being so sweet. This was the Nikoli she’d grown to love, not the person he was around everyone else, even Luther. She was going to miss him. Even though he hadn’t said anything, she had a feeling this was their last weekend together. Call it intuition or instinct, but she knew she wasn’t wrong.
She went to the bathroom and took care of her business before she grabbed her purse and the kids’ presents and headed downstairs. She refused to be sad. If she only had him for this weekend, then she was going to enjoy it.
The drive to her mother’s took them about an hour. She lived right outside the city, but with traffic, it took longer than either of them had expected. Lily saw two orange groves on the way. Her mother always raved about the fresh orange juice she got from one of them. She and Lily’s stepfather had moved from North Carolina to Florida right after Lily graduated high school. They loved it, and the kids loved living close to the beach. What kid wouldn’t, though?
When Nikoli slowed the car and pulled into the Spanish style home, Lily got nervous. This was her first big test to see if Nikoli really had helped her deal with her phobia, or if it was just him she could tolerate touching her. What if she started screaming? What if she terrified the twins? What if…
“You’ll be fine, Lily Bells,” Nikoli told her, his eyes calm and reassuring. “You’re better now. You can do this.”
“I don’t know,” she whispered. “If I can’t…”
“You and I have been together for months now, Lily, and nothing bad has happened to me, has it?”
“Well, no.”
“Then have a little faith,” he said. “You aren’t cursed, you aren’t responsible for anyone’s death, and you’re not going to cause anyone to be hurt or to die. You can do this, Lily. I have faith in you, so how about having a little in yourself, Milaya?”
His words wrapped around her, like a cool balm on a hot summer’s day to her rattled nerves, and she returned his smile. She still felt nervous, but the panic that had tried to overwhelm her disappeared. Vanished. Nikoli had that effect on her. He was her woobie. She almost laughed at the thought. She’d had a ratty yellow blanket she’d clutched whenever she was afraid when she was little. Her mama called it her woobie. Nikoli felt like that right now, her own personal woobie.
Her mother stepped out on the porch, and she studied her from where she sat. Lily didn’t look a thing like her mother. Joanna Stanton was a short bundle of energy. Blonde hair was piled up on her head in a messy bun, and she wore a pink tank top and blue jean shorts that showed off her sun kissed skin beautifully. Her mama looked good. The Florida climate suited her.
“Daylight’s wasting,” Lily said.
“What?” Nikoli asked, never having heard her speak like that.
“It’s something my Dad used to say whenever he dreaded doing something. It was his way of reminding himself when something had to be done, there was no point in putting it off.”
“Your father was a wise man,” Nikoli said. “Ready to go?”
Not really, but she got out of the car anyway. She stood staring at her mom. They hadn’t seen each other in a long time. Her mother stared back at her just as intently. Nikoli came over and gently nudged her forward. She glared at him. He needed to give her time. He shook his head no and pushed her forward again. The man was insufferable. He never let her just take a minute and think.
She gave him one more glare and started walking. When she reached the porch, her mother took an automatic step back. She knew Lily’s phobia intimately.
“Hi, Mama,” Lily said, her voice hesitant.
“Lily.” Her mother’s voice was just as soft as hers. Lily used to love listening to her read to her when she was little. “Welcome home, sweetheart.”
Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her thoughts focused on what she was about to attempt. She waited for the panic, for the overwhelming fear to consume her, but all she felt was the warmth and the love she associated with her mother. And Nikoli. She could feel his presence behind her, and she took strength from that.
She walked over to her mother and wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tight. “I love you, Mama.”
Her mother let out a strangled cry and hugged her back just as hard. “Oh, my baby…”
Lily felt her mother’s tears fall down and splash her face. She heard the wonder in her voice. It made her heart cry and swell with love at the same time. She’d deprived herself and her mother of this for years, and now instead of panic, she felt a deep sadness. She’d caused them both so much pain.
“I’m so sorry, Mama,” she whispered, her own tears joining her mother’s. “I didn’t mean to hurt you…I just…I…”
“Hush now, sweet girl.” Her mama stroked her hair like she had when she was a little girl. “Hush and let me hold you.”
Behind her, Lily heard the trunk pop, and she knew Nikoli was getting the gifts she’d bought for her family, but it was only a distant thought. Right now, all she was concerned with was that she was in her mother’s arms with no fear, no panic, no need to start screaming.
And that was all because of Nikoli Kincaid.
They spent the afternoon lounging by the pool while her mother cooked them enough food to feed three armies. The twins were ecstatic to see Lily. She hadn’t spent a lot of time with them in person, but she did Skype with her mom and the twins at least two or three times a week. They tore into their gifts like little fiends and squealed with delight. What really broke Lily’s heart was when they were so shocked she hugged them. She spent two hours just sitting on the floor playing with them, smiling like she hadn’t in a very long time.
Once everyone had been fed, Lily offered to help her mom with the dishes. Nikoli was content to sit and talk about baseball with her stepfather. She helped her mom gather up dishes and took them into the kitchen, where she started scraping them. Her mom ran some dishwater for the pots and pans. She always refused to put pans in the dishwasher, proclaiming that was where all the nicks and scratches came from.
“Tell me about this young man of yours,” her mother said without preamble.
“He’s my saving grace, I guess you could say. I would never had learned to control my phobia without him.”
“How did he do it?” her mother asked curiously. “What did he do that we didn’t?”
“It’s not that, Mama. You did everything you could. It was more me. I wanted to change, to be able to let someone touch me. It wouldn’t have worked if I hadn’t needed to change so badly. Nikoli just…he never let me give up. He pushed and pushed and pushed. Sometimes I wanted to strangle him, but he never pushed too far. He knew when to stop. But mostly, he was just there when I needed him.”
“He pushed you?”
Lily snorted. That was putting it mildly. “He pushed my limits, never let me give in to my fear, never let me give up, Mama, even when I wanted to. I never thought I’d be able to let anyone touch me ever again, but I can now, and it’s all due to him. I’m mostly healed because of that man.”
“Oh, baby, I’m so happy for you. I only wish I could have helped you more, gotten you better sooner. I’m so sorry.”
Lily put down the plate she was scraping and took her mother’s hands into hers. “Don’t be sorry, Mama. This phobia of mine wasn’t your fault, and you did do everything you could to make me better. You’re a good mother, and I love you so much. No more tears, okay? Only smiles from now on.”
“It’s good advice, Mrs. Stanton.”
They both turned to see Nikoli lounging in the doorway. Lily felt her heart skip gleefully at the sight of him and cringed a little inside. Not out of fear, but the beginning of pain. This was their last weekend together. She knew it deep down. She couldn’t shake the thought. Intuition. She wanted to curl up and cry.
Lily’s mother went over to Nikoli and wrapped him in a bear hug. He laughed and hugged her back. “What’s that for?”
“For giving me my baby back,” she said, a tremor in her voice. She was fighting not to break down. Nikoli smiled down at her.
Nikoli now understood where Lily got her kindness from. Her mother was one of the sweetest women he’d ever met, coming in a close second to his own mother. He saw the gratitude in her eyes and felt himself blush a little. She had no idea why he’d wanted Lily cured, and looking into her eyes now, he almost felt like a heel. Almost.
“Don’t thank me,” he told her. “Lily is a beautiful woman who deserves to be happy. I only helped a little.”
“You are welcome in this house, young man,” her mother said, wiping her eyes. “Always.”
“Thank you,” Nikoli said and then turned regretful eyes to Lily. “We need to get going, Lily Bells.”
“So soon?” Joanna asked. “It’s barely seven.”
“I have to be up early tomorrow,” Nikoli explained. “I have a race.”
“Race?” Joanna asked sharply.
“Yes, ma’am.” Nikoli nodded. “I came down to Florida to enter a race.”
“You race cars?” Nikoli watched Joanna’s eyes fill up with some emotion he couldn’t explain. She had to be thinking of Lily’s father.
“I do,” he said, keeping his voice calm. “Lily has been helping me get the car ready for the race.”
“Those damn cars.” Joanna shook her head. “Lily was forever under the hood of a car, even after her father died.”
“It kept me sane.” Lily smiled.
“Yes, yes, it did. Have you seen my daughter drive, Nikoli?”
“Yes, ma’am. I let her drive the car I’m entering back to campus when I bought it. She smoked me.”
“That’s my girl.” There was an edge to Joanna’s laughter. Nikoli knew she wasn’t at all happy about Lily in a race car.
“We really do have to go,” Nikoli said gently. “We still have to feed Luther, my partner in crime.”
“Oh my, let me fix him a plate.” Joanna went about doing just that on a paper plate they could take.
He went over and slipped an arm around Lily, loving how she snuggled into his side. He leaned down and whispered, “Happy?”
“More than I could ever tell you,” she whispered back. “Thank you, Nikoli Kincaid.”
He brushed his lips over her hair and caught her mother staring at them. She looked so full of hope he couldn’t meet her eyes. He was, for the first time in a while, starting to feel guilty about his own motives. Lily truly was a beautiful person inside and out. She deserved better than to be used the way he wanted to use her.
“Here you go.” Joanna handed the plate to Lily. It was overflowing under the plastic wrap. She was a good cook, and Luther would be groaning with food orgasms before he’d finished the plate.
“Thank you, ma’am,” he said. “It’s been a pleasure to meet you.”
Lily handed Nikoli the plate and hugged her mother. “Love you, Mama.”
“I love you too, baby,” Joanna murmured, and Nikoli smiled, knowing how much this meant to Lily.
“Can you start the car while I tell the twins goodbye?” Lily asked him, and he nodded, telling her mother goodbye once more before walking out into the humid Florida night. He started the car and rolled the windows down before turning on the air conditioning. He blew the heat out and then rolled the windows back up to cool the car off. Carefully putting the plate of food in the back seat, Nikoli leaned back and let the cool air hit him in the face.
She’d been on his mind all week. Ever since she told him about Adam, he knew it was the beginning of the end of their arrangement. He’d gotten a little attached to her, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It just showed him he could eventually care for someone.
The little voice in the back of his mind snorted at his own idiocy, but he ignored it. Lily was an arrangement. That was all. He’d done his part, he’d helped her get past her fear of anyone touching her. She’d gotten Boy Wonder. Now it was time for him to get his half of the deal.
He winced just thinking about it like a deal, something dirty and sordid.
The passenger door opened, and Lily slid in and buckled her seatbelt. “Thank you for bringing me.”
“Of course,” he murmured and pulled out of the driveway.
Lily turned on the radio and surfed a few radio channels before settling on one. She didn’t say anything else the entire ride back to the hotel. Not that she needed to. He could see the thoughtful expression on her face. She had to be thinking of the afternoon. He’d seen the wonder on her face when she first realized she could give her mother a hug, and it had nearly undone him, truth be told.
When they parked the car and went upstairs, just as Nikoli had predicted, Luther drooled at the sight of the food presented to him. He grabbed it and shut the door, as if afraid they’d ask him to share.
Shaking his head, Nikoli steered Lily to their room. She said she wanted a shower, and he nodded. He opened his laptop and started going through some emails that needed attention while he waited for her to come out. Shoes and socks off, he settled himself in the chair and started scanning his emails.
He found one from Lily listing all her thoughts about his new zombie game. He just stared in amazement after he’d read through the very detailed report. She listed the good things, the things she hated, what needed to be improved, and finally her thoughts on fixing everything she took issue with. He’d never gotten such detailed feedback from any of his beta testers. The woman was amazing in so many ways.
Twenty minutes later, he heard the shower cut off, and he closed his laptop. He turned and faced the bathroom door, waiting for her to come out. Another fifteen minutes went by, and still no Lily. Maybe shaving her legs? After another ten minutes he got concerned and went over to the door. Even before he raised his hand he heard her. She was crying.
“Lily?”
No answer.
“Lily, what’s wrong?”
Still nothing but her the sound of her crying. He tried the handle and found it unlocked. She sat in the middle of the floor wrapped in a bath towel, her head on her knees. Tears streaked her face and her eyes were so sad. He knelt down in front of her and stroked her hair.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
She just shook her head. He pulled her into his lap. “Shhh, dushka, don’t cry. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Instead of telling him, she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed harder. What in the hell? She was starting to scare him.
“Lily, tell me why you’re crying.” He put an edge into his voice, a tone that told her he wanted no nonsense. She would answer him.
“Kiss me,” she said instead, and he looked down into her dark blue eyes, eyes so dark they looked black.
He wanted her to tell him why she was crying, but when she looked at him like that, it undid him. He lowered his head and kissed her softly, tenderly. Her arms crept up around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair. She pulled him closer. He reveled in the feel of her lips against his, their breath mingling. He ran his fingers up and down her back, relaxing and seducing her at the same time.
When he pulled away, he left her breathless, and the haunted look had fled her eyes. Now they were sleepy with lust and desire. Nikoli gathered her in his arms, stood, and walked to the bed. Putting her down, he stripped off his shirt. She looked up at him, and the trust in her face was something he’d always wanted, and the one girl he didn’t want it from was giving it to him. What the hell was he going to do about Lily Isabella Holmes?
Lily stared up at Nikoli and waited for him to do or say something. He had the oddest look on his face. She had distracted him earlier by asking him to kiss her. She couldn’t tell him she was crying because she was losing him. He’d freak. She’d made up her mind on the drive back that she would lose their bet. If all she had with Nikoli was this weekend, then she’d savor it and tuck it away to bring out when she was feeling lonely.
She loved him. It was as simple as that.
He reached down and pulled the bath towel away from her naked body and sat behind her on the bed to dry her hair. He used slow, gentle movements, and she sighed. He always made her feel so safe, so cared for. He tossed the towel after a few minutes, and she felt his lips on her neck, nuzzling. She leaned back against him and relaxed as his lips made their way down to her collarbone, his tongue swiping quick tastes here and there. He was being so tender.
His hands traveled down her arms, slid over her thighs, trailed back up her stomach, and then brushed against the underside of her breasts. She moaned and pressed against him, silently asking him for more. His hands curled around her breasts, squeezing softly before rolling her nipples. Lily arched her back, thrusting her breasts out, demanding more.
“Nikoli…”
“Shhh,” he whispered. “Don’t talk, dushka. Just let me love you.” He moved from behind her and pushed her down on the bed.
She fought her tears at his softly whispered words. She’d love him as best as she could for tonight.
“Don’t cry, Milaya,” he whispered. “Please don’t cry.”
She smiled through her tears and reached for him. “It’s okay,” she told him. “I’m happy in this moment, Nikoli. Let me love you tonight too. Please.”
He stared down at her with wide eyes and then nodded. He stood and slipped his jeans off. Lily stared up at him. He was beautiful. His skin was a rich tone, reminding her of someone from Greece more than Russia. His black eyes and hair gave him that bad boy look, one he encouraged. His body was sculpted from hours in the gym, and she loved every inch of it.
Lily sat up and held her hand out to him. He took it without hesitation, and she tugged. He smiled and lay down next to her, turning so he faced her. “What do you plan on doing, Milaya?”
“Whatever I want.” She ran her fingers lazily over his chest. “Whatever I want, Nikoli Kincaid.”
Nikoli closed his eyes and let Lily have her way. He was so proud of her. She’d spent the entire day having her family touch her, and now she was here, naked and asking to touch him. He was so very proud of his Lily Bells.
Her thumbs circled his nipple and he let out a small gasp. No one had ever affected him like Lily. The feel of her hands on his skin was driving him crazy. He wanted to flip her, bend her over the bed, and take her, but he didn’t. Instead, he lay here, letting her exploring fingers torture him. Something he’d never really allowed any other girl to do. But then he’d never trusted anyone like he did his Lily Bells.
Her warm, wet lips started to travel over his skin, and it was all he could do to hold back a moan. He opened his eyes and stared down at her. She was doing to him what he’d done to her, and he realized how hard it had been for her to stay still if she felt even an ounce of what he did now.
Her touch set off a fire inside of him, and before long he was pulling her up to meet his lips. He could only take so much of her sweet torture. She tried to protest, but he hushed her and rolled so she was beneath him. “No, Milaya. Any more of that and it’ll be over before it begins.”
She laughed, and he felt it go through every part of him. He closed his eyes and forced himself to regain some control over the urge to fuck her hard right then and there. She deserved better than that.
“Lily, I need to ask…” She shifted under him, inadvertently rubbing herself against him. “Ah, fuck, Lily, don’t move.”
Another small laugh escaped her. “What do you want to know?”
“Are you a virgin?”
“No, I’m not a virgin. Remember when I told you I got caught up in the wrong crowd after my dad died? Lost my virginity way back then, but it’s been a long time, Nikoli.”
“Well, hell,” he grumbled. That was just as bad.
“Nikoli?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re thinking too hard.” Laughter danced in her eyes.
He laughed; he couldn’t help it. Lily’s laughter was contagious. He’d never hesitated with a woman in his life, but here he was worried about hurting this one. She was warm, wet, and willing beneath him, and telling him to get on with it. No one had ever had to tell him that before.
He thrust two fingers inside of her, causing her to gasp. “Still thinking too hard?”
“No.” Her voice was low, and deep, and breathy all at the same time.
She was dripping wet, but still he hesitated. He worked her with his fingers, thrusting them in and out, his thumb rubbing her clit, listening to her moan and mutter nonsense things.
“Tell me now if you want me to stop, Milaya,” he said, his voice harder than he’d intended, but damn, he hurt with the need to get inside her.
Lily gave him the softest smile he’d ever seen and cupped his face. “I don’t want to stop, Nikoli.”
He groaned and buried his face in the crook of her neck, his tongue dragging over the sensitive skin. He slid his fingers out of her and she whimpered in protest. “You’re sure about this?”
“Yes.” The one word, full of so much want and need did him in. He grabbed a condom from the bedside table drawer and rolled it on. The hotel always stocked them there at his request. He pushed himself up and dragged Lily toward him, her legs spread over his thighs. Moisture dripped from her opening.
“Look at me, Milaya. Don’t close your eyes.”
Lily felt the shudder go through her at his command, her body automatically reacting to it. She pulled her eyes up to his and gasped at the burning desire she saw there. The hesitation on his face made her reach up, and he laced his fingers through hers. His other hand curled around her hip and pulled her to him as he slid inside her. Lily moaned at the unfamiliar burning sensation as he stretched her.
“Easy,” he murmured. “Relax, Milaya, just relax.”
Lily gasped when he pushed deeper and the burning turned to something else, something she couldn’t define. He filled her, and she felt herself clench around him, reveling in the way he groaned every time she did. She squeezed the hand still wrapped around hers as he began to move within her. His pace was slow and gentle, letting her get used to the feel and size of him as he slid through her and back out. Fire ripped through her, its heat intensifying with every second.
She pulled on the hand she held and he came down, shifting his body to keep his weight off her. His eyes met hers and she reached up to pull his head down, her lips finding his. He kissed her like it was their first kiss and their last kiss all rolled into one. Her legs wrapped around him and she let herself get lost in the feel of Nikoli moving, the sensations cascading through her, and the way his lips ate at hers, like she was the only thing keeping him breathing.
His pace became faster, harder, and Lily groaned, the sensations in her body reacting to it, the pressure building. His lips left hers and his arms slid under her, wrapping his hands over her shoulder blades, holding her steady while he drove himself into her, his thrusts deep and hard. Lily cried out, the pleasure so intense she didn’t know if she wanted to run from it or demand more. Nikoli held her in place, his hips slamming into hers.
“That’s it, baby,” he whispered in her ear, his tongue swiping the lobe as his fingers found her clit and rubbed it. “Just let go, Milaya, let go.”
The pressure inside built and built with each hard press of his thumb against her clit, each thrust into her body. When the orgasm hit, she wasn’t prepared and screamed, Nikoli’s name leaving her lips as the wave crashed into and over her entire body. She was only vaguely aware of Nikoli shouting her own name as he reached his climax. His body sagged on top of hers, his breathing as labored as her own. Lily smiled and felt herself relaxing, her body heavy and sated. This was something she’d never regret or forget.
It was several moments before Nikoli was able to gain the strength to pull out of her and roll, bringing Lily with him. He didn’t say anything, but then neither did she. Never, in all his years, had he felt anything like he had when he made love to Lily. She’d shattered him, barreled forward and knocked down every wall he’d ever put up to protect himself. Her kindness, her need to love him like he did her, had been his downfall. She’d given to him what he’d never expected any woman to give. She’d given him every part of herself, holding nothing back, and he’d done the same. Her touch had undone him.
Lily Holmes scared the hell out of him.